Hellbilly 1

Since: May 10

South Sioux City, NE

#661 Mar 19, 2013
Hell billy sucks wrote:
<quoted text>
You are so wrong is so many ways. Not for one second is anyone jealous of you because of your deisre to elevate yourself to above the rest of us status.Nor of you willingness to degrade and belittle those who are facing difficult situations and problems that deeply impact ther lives and others around them. You think that getting on here and making statements that have no basis or fact is living your life how you want lets you break rules of truth, kindness or compassion. No sir or maam or whatever your life tells you are , is anyone jealous of you. I feel sorry for you. You have become a legend in your on mind in a place where you cant really be who you are. A place called topix. And you think it makes you somebody. I feel sorry for your shameful words and attitude. If thats who you truly are then you ought to be in fact ashamed of your self.
You can sit by in your little world and watch life go by because you would hate to offend someone, but I won't. I don't care if people get offended by what I say or do. That is their problem, not mine. No soup for you.

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#662 Mar 19, 2013
Hell billy sucks wrote:
<quoted text>
You are so wrong is so many ways. Not for one second is anyone jealous of you because of your deisre to elevate yourself to above the rest of us status.Nor of you willingness to degrade and belittle those who are facing difficult situations and problems that deeply impact ther lives and others around them. You think that getting on here and making statements that have no basis or fact is living your life how you want lets you break rules of truth, kindness or compassion. No sir or maam or whatever your life tells you are , is anyone jealous of you. I feel sorry for you. You have become a legend in your on mind in a place where you cant really be who you are. A place called topix. And you think it makes you somebody. I feel sorry for your shameful words and attitude. If thats who you truly are then you ought to be in fact ashamed of your self.
I can't help but think that you are seriously over reacting. This is really not a big deal. AWO is entitled to express himself as are you and HB and myself. Why is it more accetable to you for you or AWo to express your opinions, but not HB? I see no more shame in his words than yours or mine. Why shouldn't he be allowed to express himself? Is it because you don't agree with his views? Fine, don't read them. There are quite a few Topix posters that I don't waste my time reading. It isn't hard to do in the least, you look at the username and keep scrolling. HB hasn't been cruel or demeaning to AWO and I haven't seen AWO post to HB to contradict him either.

“Old Dinner Bell”

Since: Mar 13

" Home Sweet Home "

#663 Mar 19, 2013
Smiles- wrote:
<quoted text>
I can't help but think that you are seriously over reacting. This is really not a big deal. AWO is entitled to express himself as are you and HB and myself. Why is it more accetable to you for you or AWo to express your opinions, but not HB? I see no more shame in his words than yours or mine. Why shouldn't he be allowed to express himself? Is it because you don't agree with his views? Fine, don't read them. There are quite a few Topix posters that I don't waste my time reading. It isn't hard to do in the least, you look at the username and keep scrolling. HB hasn't been cruel or demeaning to AWO and I haven't seen AWO post to HB to contradict him either.
Well said, Smiles, but these people that get so upset at Hellbilly, me, and a few others are helping my shares of stock in xanax go up more every day. Keep up the good work.
Helly sucks

Jackson, TN

#664 Mar 19, 2013
arms wide open wrote:
I truly wish I could copy and paste,
would certainly be much easier to be able to copy the things I feel inside, and paste them inside a closet somewher and lock the door,
instead of having to feel them all the time.
Besides if someone were to take the time to examine my words which I only wished to try to get out of my head,
They would see as many errors on paper,
as I have seemed to make thinking someone cared for me as I did them.
Not for one minute do I pretend to know all there is about pain,
wheather it is mental or physical.
I do not have the answers to how to prevent or even manage it,
as can be seen by the things I have face over the past months.
Mental anguish of my broken heart has caused me to have sleepless nights, search for answers, question my own self and wonder why I was not enough or worth the very love I thought had been given to me.
Mental pain has actually caused physical pain for my, knots in my stomach, terrible headaches, fatique from days without sleep and times when was all I could do just to hold my head up.
I have learned about another type of pain,
much different from these others also.
Its am emotional pain,
where a part of you, a part that was real, living and known,
just no longer exist.
it is like a part of you has fallen asleep,
and regardless of what you attempt to do,
it is still there.
You can still feel it, the sensation is always with you,it tingles, you can move it,
but it nevers wakes up, and you drag it around hoping one day it will reawaken,
but deep down you know it will not.
Mental and physical pain can cause tears which are very much visible,
they can not be hid, the run right down your face,
I have had my share of them and I have no doubt that they will come agian,
when I least expect them or want them to appear,
because something I see, hear and think about stirs them in me of what meant so much to me that no sleeps inside me.
It is not the tears that run down our faces that hurt so much,
they can be wiped away.
But the tears that come from our heart, the ones we can not see, but the ones that we feel more than anything else,
those tears are the ones that scar us, hurt us and cause us to question why.
The tears of the heart, from a broken heart,
that has been my worst and never ending pain.
I gave my heart away, to the one person I trusted and believed loved me more than anyhting else,
just as I did her,
and for whatever reason, good or bad or indifferent,
she broke my heart,
to this very minute of the day, I hurt.
I do not care what anyone else thinks of me,
makes no matter,
sad? fool? patheic? it means nothing to me.
Because no words said to me can change the way I feel,
If that was so, the words I said to myself would have already accomplished that.
I know how I feel, what I feel and who I have feelings for.
I loved her.
She broke my heart.
It is that simple.
Everyday I know it, but it changes not one thing,
not then, not now, not ever.
AWO did respond at the very beginning of this post. But he did it in a way that was very typical of him which is a nice way. But for some reason HB and his cult of personality continue to throw barbs at him. You do have a right to think what you wish. But you do not have the right to shout fire in a theater when there is no fire. Its called lying and do so could cause harm to others

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#665 Mar 19, 2013
Helly sucks wrote:
<quoted text>
AWO did respond at the very beginning of this post. But he did it in a way that was very typical of him which is a nice way. But for some reason HB and his cult of personality continue to throw barbs at him. You do have a right to think what you wish. But you do not have the right to shout fire in a theater when there is no fire. Its called lying and do so could cause harm to others
There is a big difference between shouting fire and this. You are trying to prove your point in whatever way you can and are determined to paint anyone who disagrees with you a villian. Part of being mature is being able to disagree with someone and just let it be.

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#666 Mar 19, 2013
Old man- Bville wrote:
<quoted text>Well said, Smiles, but these people that get so upset at Hellbilly, me, and a few others are helping my shares of stock in xanax go up more every day. Keep up the good work.
Thanks, Ol man. Topix never gets to me, it's just recreation. Some people take it way too serious.
Hellbilly sucks

Millington, TN

#667 Mar 19, 2013
Smiles- wrote:
<quoted text>
There is a big difference between shouting fire and this. You are trying to prove your point in whatever way you can and are determined to paint anyone who disagrees with you a villian. Part of being mature is being able to disagree with someone and just let it be.
What difference? Intentionally have disregard for others and be unconcerned about their well being whether it be physical or emotional health is mature? No it is not. To brag about not being concerned about who you hurt is not humorous either. It is mean and borderline demented. To do it by accident and unknowing is bad enough but to get pleasure from inflicting pain in others is disturbing. No one is making someone into a villain because HB has self proclaimed himself as one.

“Old Dinner Bell”

Since: Mar 13

" Home Sweet Home "

#669 Mar 19, 2013
Damn, I left out the word 'pain'.
Ashes

Sioux City, IA

#670 Mar 19, 2013
AWO just read your last post,good to hear from you again.I hope you have more to say . Enjoyed this thread,most of the others i dont read. I wish you peace and happiness .
Donna

Henderson, TN

#671 Mar 19, 2013
Where did you go arms wide open? We miss you.

Hellbilly 1

Since: May 10

South Sioux City, NE

#672 Mar 19, 2013
Hellbilly sucks wrote:
<quoted text>
What difference? Intentionally have disregard for others and be unconcerned about their well being whether it be physical or emotional health is mature? No it is not. To brag about not being concerned about who you hurt is not humorous either. It is mean and borderline demented. To do it by accident and unknowing is bad enough but to get pleasure from inflicting pain in others is disturbing. No one is making someone into a villain because HB has self proclaimed himself as one.
It's not borderline demented. I'm full on. I think that you need some deep seeded sexual gratification. Wanna go?

Hellbilly 1

Since: May 10

South Sioux City, NE

#673 Mar 19, 2013
Donna wrote:
Where did you go arms wide open? We miss you.
He's been called out and now he is looking for the ultimate copy and paste to redeem himself.
Hellbilly sucks

Henderson, TN

#674 Mar 20, 2013
Hellbilly 1 wrote:
<quoted text>He's been called out and now he is looking for the ultimate copy and paste to redeem himself.
The reason you are fully cemented is you have to come here to stand up and act tough to show you're a man while hiding behind a name. For all the loud talk you would mess all over yourself before you said it in real life. Your not equipped to deep seed anything but shameful words and attitude. Your inability to do anything else proves how small a man you are and will be as long as you get your gratification from hurting others. The ultimate copy and paste will be when Jesus copy and paste love thy neighbor as thyself on you on judgment day when you stand before God. See how far your not afraid to offend or harm attitude and living your life real proclamations get you then.

Hellbilly 1

Since: May 10

South Sioux City, NE

#675 Mar 20, 2013
Hellbilly sucks wrote:
<quoted text>
The reason you are fully cemented is you have to come here to stand up and act tough to show you're a man while hiding behind a name. For all the loud talk you would mess all over yourself before you said it in real life. Your not equipped to deep seed anything but shameful words and attitude. Your inability to do anything else proves how small a man you are and will be as long as you get your gratification from hurting others. The ultimate copy and paste will be when Jesus copy and paste love thy neighbor as thyself on you on judgment day when you stand before God. See how far your not afraid to offend or harm attitude and living your life real proclamations get you then.
There ya go talking about fairy tales again. I'll be sure to take him his cross. I think he forgot it.
arms wide open

Jackson, TN

#676 Mar 20, 2013
It seems to me that no matter what you believe in you life,
No matter how good and pure you want it to be,
Somewhere, somehow, some way,
It always finds a way to be turn into something that it never was,
Or into something you never had an idea it could become.
When I first meet the one I started this all about,
I was taken by surprise at how I felt the very first time I saw her.
Was like I had finally found the very place I was meant to be,
With the very person I was meant to be with.
The search or at least the feeling that made me feel like I had been looking my whole life,
Was all of a sudden gone.
I can take you to the very place, tell you the words said and all the details of that evening,
I can tell you the way it felt the very first time she said she loved me,
And how her eyes looked at me when the words were said.
And even though I was not aware at the time,
I can tell you how it felt the very last time she said she loved me.
And when it finally set in what was happening, feelings again came.
But the feeling that I was searching again did not return,
Instead a feeling like I was empty or numb or even half alive took the place,
Of the feeling I had found with her.
You would think that by now I could have replaced the feeling with something else or someone else,
But when deep down inside you know, when the feeling overwhelms you at all the wrong moments or when you run as far as you can only to crawl back with the same reality you ran from,
You come to a place in your own heart and mind,
This is just how it is.
Nothing you can do about it.
You heart belongs to someone else, no one else will ever have it,
You realize and you do not try to fool yourself that what was can ever be again,
But you cannot let go, because it is right, real and supposed to be.
You cannot stop the love you have for her, and you cannot stop you life from the course you must continue on,
But you cannot stop the what ifs, the whys, the why nots or the if onlys.
It is as if you are at war within yourself.
You are left with the only thing you know,
That you love her to this very minute of the day and you make it through one more day alone,
Knowing tomorrow will be no different or easier.
I did not intend for my life to go this way,
And I did not intend this post to turn into this manner.
It was only meant to be an expression of my feelings of my love for her,
And a way to try to say them, without really having to say them to anyone’s face.
But I guess like everything else around us,
Our intentions and I desires are in the hands of others.
I found over the course of my life, that responding to those who either do not know what they are talking about,
Or responding to those who do not care about what they are talking about,
Does not ever work and that’s why I never do.
For me, words have purpose, meaning and impact just as much as silence.
The impact of having the one you love say they love you is powerful beyond words,
Just as much as the silence from the one you love.
To say nothing leaves questions in the mind of the one who longs to hear the words again,
What did I do, what was wrong with me, why was I not enough?
Choosing to respond gives weight to the words said to you or about you,
Choosing not to renders the words to be questioned.
I have said enough, my words where not heard by the one I love,
They have been unanswered, they have been mocked, ridiculed, laughed at and questioned.
Only I know the truth they hold and what they mean to me.
I will continue to write them down, because it does give me comfort and allows me to release the storm inside my heart from time to time.
But only my eyes will see them.
I know that you know,
I do love you, I always have and always will.
My heart is yours to have or reject,
To hold or to break.
And while I cherish the time I had with you,
I will always dreamed and longed for more.
But silence again has a powerful impact.
So now I guess it is my time to be silent.
Thanks

Bowling Green, KY

#677 Mar 20, 2013
arms wide open wrote:
It seems to me that no matter what you believe in you life,
No matter how good and pure you want it to be,
Somewhere, somehow, some way,
It always finds a way to be turn into something that it never was,
Or into something you never had an idea it could become.
When I first meet the one I started this all about,
I was taken by surprise at how I felt the very first time I saw her.
Was like I had finally found the very place I was meant to be,
With the very person I was meant to be with.
The search or at least the feeling that made me feel like I had been looking my whole life,
Was all of a sudden gone.
I can take you to the very place, tell you the words said and all the details of that evening,
I can tell you the way it felt the very first time she said she loved me,
And how her eyes looked at me when the words were said.
And even though I was not aware at the time,
I can tell you how it felt the very last time she said she loved me.
And when it finally set in what was happening, feelings again came.
But the feeling that I was searching again did not return,
Instead a feeling like I was empty or numb or even half alive took the place,
Of the feeling I had found with her.
You would think that by now I could have replaced the feeling with something else or someone else,
But when deep down inside you know, when the feeling overwhelms you at all the wrong moments or when you run as far as you can only to crawl back with the same reality you ran from,
You come to a place in your own heart and mind,
This is just how it is.
Nothing you can do about it.
You heart belongs to someone else, no one else will ever have it,
You realize and you do not try to fool yourself that what was can ever be again,
But you cannot let go, because it is right, real and supposed to be.
You cannot stop the love you have for her, and you cannot stop you life from the course you must continue on,
But you cannot stop the what ifs, the whys, the why nots or the if onlys.
It is as if you are at war within yourself.
You are left with the only thing you know,
That you love her to this very minute of the day and you make it through one more day alone,
Knowing tomorrow will be no different or easier.
I did not intend for my life to go this way,
And I did not intend this post to turn into this manner.
It was only meant to be an expression of my feelings of my love for her,
And a way to try to say them, without really having to say them to anyone’s face.
But I guess like everything else around us,
Our intentions and I desires are in the hands of others.
I found over the course of my life, that responding to those who either do not know what they are talking about,
Or responding to those who do not care about what they are talking about,
Does not ever work and that’s why I never do.
For me, words have purpose, meaning and impact just as much as silence.
The impact of having the one you love say they love you is powerful beyond words,
Just as much as the silence from the one you love.
To say nothing leaves questions in the mind of the one who longs to hear the words again,
What did I do, what was wrong with me, why was I not enough?
Choosing to respond gives weight to the words said to you or about you,
Choosing not to renders the words to be questioned.
I have said enough, my words where not heard by the one I love,
They have been unanswered, they have been mocked, ridiculed, laughed at and questioned.
Only I know the truth they hold and what they mean to me.
I will continue to write them down, because it does give me comfort and allows me to release the storm inside my heart from time to time.
But only my eyes will see them.
I know that you know,
I do love you, I always have and always will.
My heart is yours to have or reject,
To hold or to break.
And while I cherish the time I had with you,
I will always dreamed and longed for more.
But silence again has a powerful impact.
So now I guess it is my time to be silent.
Nice.
Ashes

Sioux City, IA

#678 Mar 20, 2013
The best part of topix is over . I understand the reason, i believe i would do the same but you will be missed . Thank you for sharing with some of us your beautiful words of love . You will always be remembered as the nicest person ive never met . I wish you the best . Remember the nice people on here out number the rude . You will be missed!!!
Thanks

Nortonville, KY

#679 Mar 20, 2013
I meant nice in a touching way. I know those feelings all to well. To love someone & not have it returned.

Hellbilly 1

Since: May 10

South Sioux City, NE

#680 Mar 20, 2013
Ashes wrote:
The best part of topix is over . I understand the reason, i believe i would do the same but you will be missed . Thank you for sharing with some of us your beautiful words of love . You will always be remembered as the nicest person ive never met . I wish you the best . Remember the nice people on here out number the rude . You will be missed!!!
You mean the sheep outnumber the shepherds. Back in your pen sheep.
salt

Jackson, TN

#681 Mar 20, 2013
Will be praying for you AWO. Hope you will one day find the peace you seek with this. A love this special is a wonderful thing. She must have been a special woman for you to say all this about.

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