justis

Sioux City, IA

#457 Feb 27, 2013
You are Hellbilly!!!!!! Big Deal who Cares

Pepper_126

“I don't do red lipstick...”

Since: Sep 12

well maybe this one time...

#458 Feb 27, 2013
justis wrote:
You are Hellbilly!!!!!! Big Deal who Cares
Yeah rite. I suck, he don't.........there is a difference.
arms wide open

Mckinney, TX

#459 Feb 27, 2013
In my life one thing I have strived to be was truthful and do right by people I meet,
I have made many mistakes but never once did I intentionally try to harm anyone in anyway.
There have been times when it has been to the benefit of others, and caused me hardship but I was able to know that I did what I had to do to be able to live with myself.
For those who must know,
Yes i am a man, and yes she was a woman.
Not just any woman, but the one woman i searched for all my life.
Yes, she was and is beautiful,
But i did not love her for that.
i loved her for the way she made me feel when i was with her,
It was nothing i have or will ever experience again.
And yes, i do see her at times,
But it is always in passing and we never speak.
Because what else can I say that was not said to her before,
And i can not allow it to happen because i will not break down in front of her and have her remember me in that way.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and can say whatever they think about me,
I have been called many things accused of things that just are not even remotely close.
I realize no one knows me here except for some name which some have used to say things i would never say.
Those things matter nothing to me,
Because i know exactly who i am.
I am in love with one person and always will be
Nothing can or will change that.
If i could i would sell my soul to have her love me.
To be able to once again feel her heartbeat at night against my chest is something i would crawl on my knees through hell for.
To have her grab my hand and say come on as we run through rain to the car,
To go to dinner and have her say you order for me because you know exactly what i like.
To turn around and see her standing there in that black dress smiling and saying lets get out of here, while everyone else there looked right at us and I did not ever know anyone else even existed at that moment.
To look into her green eyes and hear her say she loved me.
Me.
Its hard to know you held a dream of a lifetime in your arms,
And never again will you be the same.
No matter what you do, regret and what if will haunt you.
Because even if you had you life handed back to you right now
You would always have doubts,
Why were you not enough ,
What else could you have done or said.
Why did God let this happen to you.
You can call me anything you like,
It does not matter to me,
I can not hurt anymore than i do ever day i wake up alone
Call me names, but its nothing i do not say to myself when i look in the mirror each morning.
I know who i am and who i am going to be.
I live my life each day empty and half alive.
Thats just my life now and the way it will be.
But the more i try not to love her, the more i do love her.
And yes i do love you.
Call Your Friend

Martin, TN

#460 Feb 27, 2013
Haha too funny Pepper!

To the rest of you, who are getting so butt-hurt on behalf of AWO, let me clarify something. I am not trying to be an azz about him. My point was, some girls like that sort of attention, some don't. He is using this site as a way of therapy to get over a lost love (I hope). I read his first few posts and didn't come back, until I saw all of the activity on the thread.
I actually think it's a woman posting. I think she wishes someone felt the same way about her and would say those sorts of things about her.
Either way, I think the individual will probably find their way out of the dark place they are in and move on. You guys should just enjoy the good post, ignore the bad and try to keep your emotions under check. Remember,

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.

Pepper_126

“I don't do red lipstick...”

Since: Sep 12

well maybe this one time...

#461 Feb 27, 2013
After all that AWO how could she not return your feelings?

Hellbilly 1

Since: May 10

South Sioux City, NE

#462 Feb 27, 2013
arms wide open wrote:
In my life one thing I have strived to be was truthful and do right by people I meet,
I have made many mistakes but never once did I intentionally try to harm anyone in anyway.
There have been times when it has been to the benefit of others, and caused me hardship but I was able to know that I did what I had to do to be able to live with myself.
For those who must know,
Yes i am a man, and yes she was a woman.
Not just any woman, but the one woman i searched for all my life.
Yes, she was and is beautiful,
But i did not love her for that.
i loved her for the way she made me feel when i was with her,
It was nothing i have or will ever experience again.
And yes, i do see her at times,
But it is always in passing and we never speak.
Because what else can I say that was not said to her before,
And i can not allow it to happen because i will not break down in front of her and have her remember me in that way.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and can say whatever they think about me,
I have been called many things accused of things that just are not even remotely close.
I realize no one knows me here except for some name which some have used to say things i would never say.
Those things matter nothing to me,
Because i know exactly who i am.
I am in love with one person and always will be
Nothing can or will change that.
If i could i would sell my soul to have her love me.
To be able to once again feel her heartbeat at night against my chest is something i would crawl on my knees through hell for.
To have her grab my hand and say come on as we run through rain to the car,
To go to dinner and have her say you order for me because you know exactly what i like.
To turn around and see her standing there in that black dress smiling and saying lets get out of here, while everyone else there looked right at us and I did not ever know anyone else even existed at that moment.
To look into her green eyes and hear her say she loved me.
Me.
Its hard to know you held a dream of a lifetime in your arms,
And never again will you be the same.
No matter what you do, regret and what if will haunt you.
Because even if you had you life handed back to you right now
You would always have doubts,
Why were you not enough ,
What else could you have done or said.
Why did God let this happen to you.
You can call me anything you like,
It does not matter to me,
I can not hurt anymore than i do ever day i wake up alone
Call me names, but its nothing i do not say to myself when i look in the mirror each morning.
I know who i am and who i am going to be.
I live my life each day empty and half alive.
Thats just my life now and the way it will be.
But the more i try not to love her, the more i do love her.
And yes i do love you.
If it takes another to make you whole then you have a problem. It's time to do some soul searching. Obviously if you are like this then it was her that had the problem. It might be hard, but it's time to move on because she has and it makes it harder on you to stay in the past than it does to move toward the future. Other opportunities open up when you least expect it.
guest

Hornsby, TN

#463 Feb 27, 2013
Hellbilly 1 wrote:
<quoted text>If it takes another to make you whole then you have a problem. It's time to do some soul searching. Obviously if you are like this then it was her that had the problem. It might be hard, but it's time to move on because she has and it makes it harder on you to stay in the past than it does to move toward the future. Other opportunities open up when you least expect it.
Tell us what you mean when you say if you are like this then it was her that had the problem? Just not sure understanding what you mean..

Pepper_126

“I don't do red lipstick...”

Since: Sep 12

well maybe this one time...

#464 Feb 28, 2013
Hellbilly 1 wrote:
<quoted text>If it takes another to make you whole then you have a problem. It's time to do some soul searching. Obviously if you are like this then it was her that had the problem. It might be hard, but it's time to move on because she has and it makes it harder on you to stay in the past than it does to move toward the future. Other opportunities open up when you least expect it.
Absolutely. Another example of why you should never make one person your everything.
hippie

Sioux City, IA

#465 Feb 28, 2013
Thanks for responding AWO . I was hopeing you would since all the things said after your last post . I for one enjoy reading your post,pure honesty .Now everyone knows , yes i am a man, and she was a woman . Thanks for sharing your feelings of love with us . Peace and happiness

( hippie ) yes i am a woman

Pepper_126

“I don't do red lipstick...”

Since: Sep 12

well maybe this one time...

#466 Feb 28, 2013
I am just not going down like that.
I have felt the same way more times than one just like AWO.I have found that once I finally got the nerve to be in the company of another man...after the first kiss my heart was happy again.
guest

United States

#467 Feb 28, 2013
Pepper_126 wrote:
I am just not going down like that.
I have felt the same way more times than one just like AWO.I have found that once I finally got the nerve to be in the company of another man...after the first kiss my heart was happy again.
You that easy huh.

Pepper_126

“I don't do red lipstick...”

Since: Sep 12

well maybe this one time...

#468 Feb 28, 2013
guest wrote:
<quoted text>
You that easy huh.
I didn't say how long between the breakup and the next kiss, did I? Hmmmmmmmm.
guest

Dallas, TX

#469 Feb 28, 2013
Pepper_126 wrote:
<quoted text>
I didn't say how long between the breakup and the next kiss, did I? Hmmmmmmmm.
Lol. No you did nt. But time doesnt always fix things. Sometimes it confirms things. Just because you fall for someone doesnt mean they will feel the same. Maybe they are you one in a lifetime regardless if you are theirs. Some can move on quickly others dont. I fell for someone after I got out of school. Next thing I know she moved on. I still feel a bit hurt when i see her. I was able to get a good education and get a pretty decent job for around here. I raised a family with someone I never loved. We are no longer together. Everytime I see that one person though. I still hurt. So I know some of what Arms is going through. Wish him the best.
Donna

Henderson, TN

#470 Feb 28, 2013
I love reading your posts. Such beautiful words
Donna

Henderson, TN

#471 Feb 28, 2013
Do you think she ever gets on here and see the beautiful things you write?

Pepper_126

“I don't do red lipstick...”

Since: Sep 12

well maybe this one time...

#472 Feb 28, 2013
Donna wrote:
Do you think she ever gets on here and see the beautiful things you write?
Makes you wonder what kind of person she is. I mean I know they were not written in stone. I know you can't make people love you but why did she let it go that long if she wasn't gonna be there to the end?
Donna

Henderson, TN

#473 Feb 28, 2013
She may have not known exactly how he felt. Maybe
hippie

Sioux City, IA

#474 Feb 28, 2013
I havent thought a lot about her . To a w o she was his everything so she cant be all bad . Makes me wonder if she had any idea just how much he loves her . No love ive ever known . Nice to know even if its on topix .
Donna

Henderson, TN

#475 Feb 28, 2013
Like me I have to be told exactly how you feel.

Pepper_126

“I don't do red lipstick...”

Since: Sep 12

well maybe this one time...

#476 Feb 28, 2013
Donna wrote:
She may have not known exactly how he felt. Maybe
True.
I made that mistake not long ago. Sometimes you try so hard not to mess things up. How many times do we hear that men hate discussing feelings? I kept everything to myself.
He made me feel safe and I never questioned his feelings for me. I was more content than I had been in awhile. I didn't try to label anything.
The first and only time I cried was when we broke up 9 months later. Then I knew I loved him.

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