How can you help an addict?

How can you help an addict?

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Neeing advice

Santa Barbara, CA

#1 Jun 10, 2009
I need some advice on how to help someone with a drug addiction. Someone very close to me has been an addict for almost 11 yrs and been to rehab several times. He was just into pills but i think he may be doin somethin harder now cuz he is starting to steal from his family. Does anyone know anything about interventions? Any suggestions would be appreciated:)

Since: Apr 09

Location hidden

#2 Jun 10, 2009
I think you will be wasting your time unless the friend WANTS help and is ready to stop. I don't think any amount of help will end the problem if the user is not 100% ready to help himself/herself. Just my opinion. Try Google. I use it for everything :) Good luck. I hope you succeed!
Charry

Martin, TN

#3 Jun 10, 2009
I have a close family member to that got on the wrong track for 5 years and it was pure hell for all of us. We "tried" everything to help her. She now is clean for over a year thanks to her WILLINGNESS to want to be clean and drug court in our town. Good Luck to ya, I have truly walked in ur shoes!
Been There

Sioux City, IA

#4 Jun 10, 2009
Tough Love,let him hit rock bottom.Hes got to wont it before it will work.Put his ass out make him take care of his addiction himself.When he ask for help be there to take him to get treatment. GOOD LUCK
been there

Henderson, TN

#5 Jun 10, 2009
I too have friends and family that have had addiction problems. Donna is right, unless they want help, it's hard to do anything. Sometimes they have to hit rock bottom first. I would say that the best program I have seen is called "Teen Challenge." And no, it is not for teenagers. Google it and it will give you info. I know several ppl that have come through it with positive results, but it's tough. The one is Nashville is good. Drugs are a powerful force. They will make you steal and lie to your family, friends, anyone. I've seen the devestation caused by addiction and my heart goes out to you. Good luck to you. I hope for the best.
Neeing advice

Santa Barbara, CA

#6 Jun 10, 2009
Charry wrote:
I have a close family member to that got on the wrong track for 5 years and it was pure hell for all of us. We "tried" everything to help her. She now is clean for over a year thanks to her WILLINGNESS to want to be clean and drug court in our town. Good Luck to ya, I have truly walked in ur shoes!
. Yea he has put his family and friends through hell. He has been to rehab at least 5 or 6 times and each time they only keep him for about 3 wks. He says he wants to clean up and for about a wk after he gets out he does fine then boom he`s back into it. We`ve even tried to "baby sit" him but he still finds a way to get it.
anon

Miami, FL

#7 Jun 10, 2009
Neeing advice wrote:
I need some advice on how to help someone with a drug addiction. Someone very close to me has been an addict for almost 11 yrs and been to rehab several times. He was just into pills but i think he may be doin somethin harder now cuz he is starting to steal from his family. Does anyone know anything about interventions? Any suggestions would be appreciated:)
yes I agree with these other posts-you need to stop helping this person, anything that you are doing that is enabling him/her you need to be tough and stop, it will hurt you inside but you will have to let them hit the bottom before they will look up.
anon

Miami, FL

#8 Jun 10, 2009
I want to clarify, I have been in your position before and I seem to have been always trying to bail them out so to speak but it took me a long long long time before i realized I was an enabler and they would not deal with their life unless I and others stopped helping them out. Tney may try to blame you or anyone and everyone else and you may feel guilty at times but keep your chin up and pray for this person every day, expecting an answer! If may take a while but as long as we are breathing there is hope! Take heart, blessings to you.
well

Sioux City, IA

#9 Jun 10, 2009
My mom is an addict and she doesn't want help. And you can't help them if they don't think they need it. My sister and I have threatened to take her grandkids away and never have any kind of relationship with her and it didn't help.
anon MOTHER

Miami, FL

#10 Jun 10, 2009
I have been there too many times with friends. You have to just WALK AWAY. They are going to listen to you time and time again lecture and everything else, but they are not going to really LISTEN! They are going to remember what they've been told in the back of their head for years and years, but until they make the decision to quit, they never will. You and the family with struggle and suffer, and drive yourself nuts trying and all for nothing. Get any children out of their care and away from the situation. Let them try to live a normal life and move on.
god bless you

Newbern, TN

#11 Jun 10, 2009
I have to agree with everyone here!My brother was addicted to crack!I had watched him steal from our family. When he had stollen from me that was the last straw! I gave him a choice jail or rehab.he went to rehab to keep me from pressing charges.You got to give this person hard love.Change all locks and let him hit rock bottom. Dont support him in any way! Its going to be hard but when this person hits rock bottom and straighten up he will thank you!There was many nights I criedwhen my brother wanted me to come support his habit. You will feel like your in the wrong but trust me Give Him Hard LOve! they willcome around when its time for them to get help!
guest

United States

#12 Jun 10, 2009
Neeing advice wrote:
I need some advice on how to help someone with a drug addiction. Someone very close to me has been an addict for almost 11 yrs and been to rehab several times. He was just into pills but i think he may be doin somethin harder now cuz he is starting to steal from his family. Does anyone know anything about interventions? Any suggestions would be appreciated:)
i would love an answer to this question. i have watch my son change so much in the last year. he steels from me to get money for drugs. he would have never done this before, its not who he was. but now, i don't know him. he has cussed me, never ever in a million years thought he could ever do that. he's in middle twenties. how do you save them? i'm so scared that while i'm trying to show tough love he is going to go out here and get killed or something. i keep thinking i could help him. i can't. thanks for post. this site would be great if there were more like this that actually offers helpful advise. anyways the guilt is killing me i don't know how to help him. please pray for us.
hopethishelps

Hendersonville, NC

#13 Jun 10, 2009
hi! i just wanted to try and share some helpful info. i am a valuable person in this conversation seeing as though i myself am a recovering addict. i am clean now for almost 3 years. it took me almost going to jail to clean my act up but heres the key. you have to cut those ties that bind you to the people who are doing these drugs. most of the time it takes a person isolating themselves thru the detox or else you will fall right back into old habits. they do die hard. my advice to anyone who truely wants to stop is quit surrounding yourself in situations where drugs may be present or a siuation that makes you want to drugs. you have to learn how to cope with daily stress and this is where a good support group helps. in my case, i just picked up and moved to a new town where no one knew me and i started all over again! it saved my life!
ThatGirl

Sioux City, IA

#14 Jun 10, 2009
Nothing will change until he's ready to change for himself. My husband is a recovering alcoholic/addict...and as hard as it was, I had to do for myself and our family. This meant taking care of me and not him. This is the basis of Al-Anon/Narc-Anon. I would like to offer some help for you. There is an Al-Anon group that meets at Here's Hope (in the building where the old Kroger was) on thursday evenings at 7pm. They welcome people who are family/friends of alcholics & addicts. I know because I go there. If you need anymore information, you may contact me at [email protected]

Best of luck
anon

Miami, FL

#15 Jun 11, 2009
hopethishelps wrote:
hi! i just wanted to try and share some helpful info. i am a valuable person in this conversation seeing as though i myself am a recovering addict. i am clean now for almost 3 years. it took me almost going to jail to clean my act up but heres the key. you have to cut those ties that bind you to the people who are doing these drugs. most of the time it takes a person isolating themselves thru the detox or else you will fall right back into old habits. they do die hard. my advice to anyone who truely wants to stop is quit surrounding yourself in situations where drugs may be present or a siuation that makes you want to drugs. you have to learn how to cope with daily stress and this is where a good support group helps. in my case, i just picked up and moved to a new town where no one knew me and i started all over again! it saved my life!
That is great that you turned your life around, your post will give hope to some of these people who are hurting for their loved ones, can you give them some advice as to how they should handle their loved ones, do you agree with the "tough love" and also the advice that they need to stop helping this person as far as bailing them out and giving them money or things, etc?? Please offer your perspective here, blessings to you!
anon

Miami, FL

#16 Jun 11, 2009
guest wrote:
<quoted text>i would love an answer to this question. i have watch my son change so much in the last year. he steels from me to get money for drugs. he would have never done this before, its not who he was. but now, i don't know him. he has cussed me, never ever in a million years thought he could ever do that. he's in middle twenties. how do you save them? i'm so scared that while i'm trying to show tough love he is going to go out here and get killed or something. i keep thinking i could help him. i can't. thanks for post. this site would be great if there were more like this that actually offers helpful advise. anyways the guilt is killing me i don't know how to help him. please pray for us.
Prayed for you today. While there is breath there is hope, dont lose hope, dont let guilt override cause it will cause you to make the wrong choices and be an enabler, I was one so I know what I am talking about. Maybe you can find a support group or a prayer group to help YOU cope in the meantime, blessings!
anon

Miami, FL

#17 Jun 11, 2009
guest wrote:
<quoted text>i would love an answer to this question. i have watch my son change so much in the last year. he steels from me to get money for drugs. he would have never done this before, its not who he was. but now, i don't know him. he has cussed me, never ever in a million years thought he could ever do that. he's in middle twenties. how do you save them? i'm so scared that while i'm trying to show tough love he is going to go out here and get killed or something. i keep thinking i could help him. i can't. thanks for post. this site would be great if there were more like this that actually offers helpful advise. anyways the guilt is killing me i don't know how to help him. please pray for us.
are you in the west tn area?
Not your ordinary granny

Hendersonville, NC

#18 Jun 11, 2009
guest wrote:
<quoted text>i would love an answer to this question. i have watch my son change so much in the last year. he steels from me to get money for drugs. he would have never done this before, its not who he was. but now, i don't know him. he has cussed me, never ever in a million years thought he could ever do that. he's in middle twenties. how do you save them? i'm so scared that while i'm trying to show tough love he is going to go out here and get killed or something. i keep thinking i could help him. i can't. thanks for post. this site would be great if there were more like this that actually offers helpful advise. anyways the guilt is killing me i don't know how to help him. please pray for us.
I am saying prayers for you too!
myers_farm

United States

#19 Jun 11, 2009
Neeing advice wrote:
<quoted text> . Yea he has put his family and friends through hell. He has been to rehab at least 5 or 6 times and each time they only keep him for about 3 wks. He says he wants to clean up and for about a wk after he gets out he does fine then boom he`s back into it. We`ve even tried to "baby sit" him but he still finds a way to get it.
called tough love, like a child they got to learn how themselves at times
kickme

Martin, TN

#20 Jun 11, 2009
first of all no matter how much you want to help him, you can't! He first has to want to help himself, and most of the time this won't happen until he has lost everything he cares about, including you. If you continue to help him he will probably never do it.

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