A Good Woman

[OneUcanTrust]

What are the qualifications of a good woman in Scottsburo?

[witty screen name]

Well,first, they should know how to spell SCOTTSBORO.

[Yankeegirl]

Sorry about the spelling, that's how it's spelled here and I realized my mistake about the time I hit the send button.

Now, I was being serious, I just married the man of my dreams and he is from Scottsboro. I love him so and I intend to keep him and I need some good advice.

He doesn't seem to like my cooking much, wants me to watch football with him and he keeps telling me to learn how to cook something called cornbread????? I made him some focaccia bread and he hated it, wanted cornbread..
I finally found a store that carried Crisco, but have had no luck on finding the bacon powder, I have never seen the powdered version, only the fresh slices in a package. Can I substitute?
Is cooking really that big of a deal? And what the hell is canning?
Please help.

[BPORT]

Yankeegirl wrote:

Sorry about the spelling, that's how it's spelled here and I realized my mistake about the time I hit the send button.
Now, I was being serious, I just married the man of my dreams and he is from Scottsboro. I love him so and I intend to keep him and I need some good advice.
He doesn't seem to like my cooking much, wants me to watch football with him and he keeps telling me to learn how to cook something called cornbread????? I made him some focaccia bread and he hated it, wanted cornbread..
I finally found a store that carried Crisco, but have had no luck on finding the bacon powder, I have never seen the powdered version, only the fresh slices in a package. Can I substitute?
Is cooking really that big of a deal? And what the hell is canning?
Please help.

Sounds like you are beyond help, you would have to move down here

[witty screen name]

2 cups of white self rising cornmeal mix. 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 cups pf milk. 1/4 cup crisco veg oil or melted shortening (crisco). 1 lg egg, 1 to 2 tbsps sugar(optional). heat oven to 425. place an 8 or 10' skillet or pan coated with veg oil in oven to heat. combine all ingridients and stir until moistened. pour batter in heated pan or skillet. bake 20 to 25 minutes until golden brown . Don't worry! It's very easy.. if you can't find cornmeal in the store you can order it online. As far as watching football, I don't.. you can substitute by making finger foods for him to eat during game (sausage dip,hot wings etc... he'll be busy eating and not even realize that your'e in the other room reading. And as far as canning... thats when you get your veggies from the garden, can em airtight so you can store them to have in the winter, I've never canned... thats what my grandmothers for,but you can also look that up online.

[Blue MuMu]

Cooking takes practice. I have been cooking since I was little. One little thing though...it is BAKING SODA not bacon soda. Like Arm and Hammer Baking Soda. It is used when you dont have self rising flour or cornmeal. All you have to do is just buy self rising cornmeal for cornbread.

Good job BPORT on the encouragement. I bet she felt the southern hopitality with that post.

Good luck with the cornbread. Thanks Witty for the recipe. If there is anyother questions let us know. We will help if we can.

Love from Bama!

[witty screen name]

Here's a list you need to know in order to become a southern'ish women....
1. You have to own a crockpot.
2. Always have a jug of sweet tea in the fridge.
3. When speaking negative about someone always follow up with "bless their heart".
4. You need BIG purses.
5. Atleast 3 good pairs of yoga pants "their very versatile". lol
6. Coat your meat in eggs or butter milk,dip in flower, fry in crisco and you can never go wrong.
7. If your hubby sends you in the store to get a coke... don't assume it's coca cola he wants, we call all carbonated beverages coke.
8. Learn how to "Pop A Squat" because bathrooms are never a garauntee and a man loves a woman that can pee just about anywhere. lol
9. A southerner never assumes that just because someone has on their turning signal that they will actually turn.. always let them go before you pull out.
10. Southerners wave or head nod at every car they pass. Always do that! The opposite of that is what we call "High-Hatting".

[witty screen name]

BPORT wrote:

<quoted text>Sounds like you are beyond help, you would have to move down here

Sounds like you need some southern training yourself... rude much? Well, bless your heart!!

[witty screen name]

Blue MuMu wrote:

Cooking takes practice. I have been cooking since I was little. One little thing though...it is BAKING SODA not bacon soda. Like Arm and Hammer Baking Soda. It is used when you dont have self rising flour or cornmeal. All you have to do is just buy self rising cornmeal for cornbread.
Good job BPORT on the encouragement. I bet she felt the southern hopitality with that post.
Good luck with the cornbread. Thanks Witty for the recipe. If there is any other questions let us know. We will help if we can.
Love from Bama!

Hehe... Bacon soda,lol... how gross would that be?!! I love her for that! Thanks for doing the top ten list with me!!

[Sboro_times]

witty forgot a few things.
First, and most importantly, you must swear allegiance to either Auburn football or Alabama football. There is no in between. If you ARE in between, you will be dubbed a yankee regardless. At least one room in your house and one flag on your car and/or house is required to represent said allegiance.

Learn to eat greasy food well. If its not greasy enough to make your hair shiny, it better not be on my supper plate!!

You don't take a trip to the grocery store... or the fruit stand... Its either 'I'm goin to walmart' or 'I'm goin to the farmers market.'

If you can flip a jig, carolina rig a worm, and work a rat in the milfoil, there aren't many Scottsboro men you can't carry on a good conversation with.

If you can field dress a deer and keep a smile throughout, you will be able to take your pick from men in this fantastic county.

Good luck.

[mtngal]

Hello, I saw this thread and just had to reply being from Scottsboro I felt compelled to offer some advice. I have been married a little over a year and cooking was new to me too. Thank goodness my mom was close to call on for help. But anyway I would give you a meal suggestion that most southern men love. Pintos and cornbread. Use witty screen name's recipe for cornbread and for the pintos you will need.
1. Bag of pinto beans
2. Crock pot
3. Bacon (just my preference some people use other types of meat.)
4. Salt

Okay put your pintos in a bowl and fill the bowl up with water. Let soak over night. The next morning pour the water off the beans and put them in the crock pot and cover with fresh water (do not fill the crock pot up just cover the beans.) Add a slice or two of bacon. Cook on low, stirring throughout the day. And adding salt according to your taste or your husband since he most likely knows what it should taste like. That afternoon make your cornbread and you will have a husband that will be thankful for your efforts (even if it doesn't turn out just right the first time.) Good luck and remember it takes practice!

P.S. Congratualtions on your marriage!

[Yankeegirl]

Now this is exactely what I love about the south, neighbor helping neighbor.
Thanks everyone for the great recipes and advice.
Starting today, I'm learning to cook for this man.
Bought myself on of them skillets today but my cornbread was flat as a pancake.
Haven't figured out just excately what this Crisco stuff is yet. I put some on top of my warm flat cornbread and.... it wasn't so good, will use butter next time. Gonna try those pintoes tomorrow.
Thanks ladies.

[witty screen name]

Yankeegirl wrote:

Now this is exactely what I love about the south, neighbor helping neighbor.
Thanks everyone for the great recipes and advice.
Starting today, I'm learning to cook for this man.
Bought myself on of them skillets today but my cornbread was flat as a pancake.
Haven't figured out just excately what this Crisco stuff is yet. I put some on top of my warm flat cornbread and.... it wasn't so good, will use butter next time. Gonna try those pintoes tomorrow.
Thanks ladies.

Use selfrising cornmeal... thats why it's flat. e crisco goes into the cornmeal mix before cooking. Don't put anything on top of your cornbread when you take it out of the oven.