Post Jokes Here
uga

Moultrie, GA

#23 Dec 30, 2012
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
Oboma

United States

#24 Dec 30, 2012
Republican congress.....now THATS a joke!!!
lol

Adel, GA

#26 Dec 30, 2012
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex for Christmas. I think they misunderstood my answer to their question of what did I want for Christmas... my reply was " I wanna watch"
Happy New YEar!!
should know

United States

#27 Dec 30, 2012
dolly wally holl-;ger
hello

Douglas, GA

#28 Jan 1, 2013
Flying on Air Force One, Obama looked at Oprah, chuckled and said,'You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy.

Oprah shrugged her shoulders and replied,'I could throw ten $100 bills Out of the window and make ten people very happy.

Michelle added,'That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills Out of the window and make a hundred people very happy..

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. I could throw all three of them out of the window and make 256 million people very happy.'
Joker

Brookville, PA

#30 Jan 1, 2013
Jen's friend Amy is complaining about having a sore throat.
"When I have a sore throat, I always give my husband a blow job and, as long as I swallow, it feels better the next day. You should try it," says Jen.
The next day, they meet up and Amy is all smiles.
"How did it go?" asks Jen. "Wonderfully!" beams Amy. "Your husband couldn’t believe it was your idea."
yes

Moultrie, GA

#31 Jan 2, 2013
A blonde got lost in her car in a
snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it."Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart."
crzzzd

Ellwood City, PA

#32 Jan 5, 2013
youtube.com/watch...
A Side Order of Blondes
Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake.

One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?"

"You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.
Funny Stuff

Kingston, Jamaica

#33 Jan 7, 2013
I ended up with an older woman at a club last night, she looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter.

We drank a bit (well more than a bit), we had a snuggle, and she asked me if I ever had a "sportsman double"? "Whats that?" I asked. "It's a mother and daughter threesome," she said. "Oh," I said as my mind began to embrace the idea. "No, I haven't." And I wondered what this daughter of hers might look like.

We drank a bit more, then she says with a wink that tonight was 'my lucky night'. I went back to her place and walked in hoping for the best night of my life. She puts on the hall light and shouted upstairs, "Mom, you still awake?"

http://funny-stuff-1.blogspot.com/2013/01/thr...
polly wanna crack her

Fitzgerald, GA

#34 Jan 8, 2013
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.
There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
"Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway.
She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought, "That's really not so bad."
When her two daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.
Moments later, the woman's husband 'Keith' came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said,
"Hi, Keith!"
just saying

United States

#35 Jan 8, 2013
Loving the jokes!
Joker

Moultrie, GA

#36 Jan 8, 2013
A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. So he decides to try it out at dinner.
DAD: Son, where were you today during school?
SON: At school *robot slaps son*
SON: Ok, I went to the movies.
DAD: Which one?
SON: Toy Story *robot slaps son again*
SON: Ok, it was A Day with a Porn Star.
DAD: WHAT?! When I was your age, I didn't even know what porn was.*Robot slaps dad*
MOM: HAHA!! After all he is your son,*Robot slaps mom*
all in the same boat

Fitzgerald, GA

#37 Jan 9, 2013
One day a farmer wrote to his son in prison, "Son I won't be able to plant my potatoes this year because I can't dig the holes. I know if you were here, you'd help me." The son sent a reply, "don't even think about diggin them holes pop, cuz that's where I hid the money." The police read the letter, and went to the field and dug all over but never found the money. The next day the son sent another letter, "there pop, plant your seeds. That's the best I can do without being there."
Sports humor

Decatur, GA

#38 Jan 10, 2013
The Jacksonville jaguars
all in the same boat

Moultrie, GA

#39 Jan 10, 2013
yall wanna hear a joke about paper?......nevermind, its TEARable!
all in the same boat

Moultrie, GA

#40 Jan 10, 2013
A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he
pointed out the location.

The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it
to the rancher. "See this fucking badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers
given! Do you understand old man?!"

The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later, the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up
and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and
yelled at the top of his lungs.....

"YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR FUCKING BADGE!"
Joker

Adel, GA

#41 Jan 10, 2013
all in the same boat wrote:
A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he
pointed out the location.
The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it
to the rancher. "See this fucking badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers
given! Do you understand old man?!"
The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later, the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up
and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and
yelled at the top of his lungs.....
"YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR FUCKING BADGE!"
The two you posted were already on here
Just saying

Mount Pleasant, IA

#42 Jan 10, 2013
Joker wrote:
<quoted text>
The two you posted were already on here
Well at least I had missed up till now
Joker

Fitzgerald, GA

#43 Jan 10, 2013
Just saying wrote:
<quoted text>Well at least I had missed up till now
Funny jokes, though
Joker

Fitzgerald, GA

#44 Jan 10, 2013
Two men are driving through Douglas when they get pulled over by a Highway Patrolman. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver asks, "What the hell was that for?" The cop answers, "You're in Coffee County son. When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car." The driver says, "I'm sorry, Officer, I'm not from around here."

The cop runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back, walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him on the head with the nightstick. The passenger asks, "What'd you do that for?" The cop says, "Just making your wish come true." The passenger asks, "Making what wish come true?" The cop says, "I know that, two miles down the road, you're gonna say to your buddy,'I wish that asshole had tried that shit with me!'"

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Douglas Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Still trashy 4 min pulloutofAlice 137
Curious 5 hr Ol Boy 1
Best douglas lawyers for low rate? (Oct '15) 23 hr Knightrider 14
does anyone know pat ottinger. aka pat wiley. a... (Jun '14) Tue Help 2
taking a knee Mon Pickle Juice 6
News Joseph Gaskin, man found dead Oct 15 2closeforcomfort 3
Ki Murray Oct 13 you know 13

Douglas Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Douglas Mortgages