Post Jokes Here
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Leechburg, PA

#1 Nov 8, 2012
With all this bad news on here, I thought it would be fun to lighten the mood with some jokes. Sometimes we all just need a good laugh. Please, no racist jokes. Lafter is the best medicine.

Leechburg, PA

#2 Nov 8, 2012
My sister gave me a new nephew this morning. He was born healthy, but there was one little problem; he was born with only one eyelid. To fix this, the plastic surgeon circumcised him and used the foreskin to make him an eyelid. The surgery went well and my nephew is doing good, but he is still a little cock-eyed.

Gray, GA

#3 Nov 8, 2012
At Satilla Elementary school was in session. A second grade teacher said to her class "I'm going to hold something behind my back. I will describe it. If you guess what it is, then you can go home early on Friday."

She held something behind her back and said "It is yellow and long." Little Betsey raised her hand and said "It's a banana." The teacher said "No. It is a pencil, but I like the way you think."

The next week, the teacher played the game again. She held something behind her back and said "This is round and good for you." Little Tommy raised his hand and said "Is it an apple?" The teacher said "No. It is a tomato, but I like the way you think.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said "Teach, I have one for you. Three women are walking down the street; one is holding a sucker, one is sucking a sucker, and one is opening a sucker. Which one is married?" The teacher looked at Johnny with a puzzled look but said "The one sucking the sucker." Little grinned and replied "Nope, the one with the wedding wring on, but I like the way you think. I'll see you Monday!"

Lawdy Lawd

Douglas, GA

#4 Nov 8, 2012
Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark swimming around a man. The man was screaming, "Help me! Help me!"

And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew the shark was never going to help that man!
Lawdy Lawd

Douglas, GA

#5 Nov 8, 2012
Mary Jane was playing on the swings one day, swinging higher and higher. Her mother came out and said, "Mary Jane, don't you swing too high, the boys will see your underwear."

And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew she wasn't wearing any underwear.
Lawdy Lawd

Douglas, GA

#6 Nov 8, 2012
Last one:

Mary Jane burned down the family's barn one day and her mother said, "Mary Jane, Wait til your daddy gets home and sees this!" Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew her father was in that barn.

Oxford, GA

#7 Nov 8, 2012
Whats the difference between obama and a bucket of shit?

The bucket.

Lawrenceville, GA

#8 Nov 8, 2012
Why is a piece of dog Shit better than Obama???

Eventually the dog Shit turns white and quits stinking!!!

Gray, GA

#9 Nov 8, 2012
A little boy walks in on his mom while she was getting dressed. He asks his mom why some women have big tits. His mom says "Stupid women have the really big ones."

The young boy goes to the bathroom, but his dad is taking a leak. The boy looks at his dad and asks why some guy's we-we is bigger than other's. The man replies "Stupid people have the really big ones."

Later that day the family goes to the beach. The mom asks the son to find out where his dad is at. The son comes back and says to the mom "Dad is talking to a really stupid woman, and the more they talk, the stupider he gets."

Gray, GA

#10 Nov 8, 2012
A man goes into a convince store and asks the cashier for a pack of cigarettes and some condoms. The cashier jokingly asked if the man wanted a bag. He replied "NO, SHE AIN'T THAT UGLY. I got the beer earlier".
Devils Advocate

Douglas, GA

#11 Nov 9, 2012
One night at a country church, the doors blew open and in stepped the Devil. Clad in all red and breathing fire. Immediately the church people screaming, dove out windows and doors until everyone was gone except one older man about 65 remained. The Devil walked over to him and said "hey do you know who I am? Yes, the man responded "you are the Devil". The Devil said then why are you not afraid of me? The man replied "because I have been married to you sister for 40 years.
Devils Advocate

Douglas, GA

#12 Nov 9, 2012
Do you know the difference between my wife and a growling bulldog? My wife is the one wearing lipstick.
Dang Straight

Willacoochee, GA

#13 Nov 9, 2012

Perry, GA

#14 Nov 9, 2012
A blonde is driving down the road and sees another blonde rowing a row boad in the middle of a wheat field. She slams on the brakes, jumps out the car, and yells out to the other woman "It is blondes like you that gives us a bad name! If I could swim, I'd come out there and whoop your ass!"

Adel, GA

#15 Nov 9, 2012
A Catholic priest and a Jewish rabbi see a young boy. The priest says "I sure want to screw him." The rabbi says "Out of what?"

Hahira, GA

#16 Nov 9, 2012
On Oct 31 the choir was singing when out of the baptismal pool popped the devil.All the people began to scream and run. One little old lady was trying to go fast with her walking cane. The young man playing the joke tried to catch her. When he grabbed her by the arm,she cried out I been going to this church for 40 years but I was on your side all the time.

Perry, GA

#17 Nov 12, 2012
Two blondes were walking down the road when they came upon some tracks. The first one said "those are deer tracks". The second one said "those are cow tracks". They were still arguing when the train hit them.

Gray, GA

#19 Dec 30, 2012
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a football player. The fella to
your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US are blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Moultrie, GA

#21 Dec 30, 2012
a man is building a house, while inspecting it with the contractor at every window the contractor yells out green side up! wondering what this was about the man asks, the contractor replies i hired some uga football players and coaches to sod the yard and i have to keep reminding them the green side goes up!

Moultrie, GA

#22 Dec 30, 2012
My wife was dying. I was by her bedside. She said in a tired voice, "There's something i must confess."
"Shhh" I said, "there's nothing to confess. Everything's alright."
"No i must die in peace. I had sex with your brother, your best friend, his best friend and your father!"
"I know," I whispered "That's why i poisoned you, now close your eyes!!"

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