Why do I do it?
Posted in the Doniphan Forum
#1 Nov 19, 2012
I can't for the life of me answer this question. Why on earth do married people stay together when it is very evident that 1 doesn't give a rats ass dam about the spouse? No affection, no compassion no feelings what so ever shown for the spouse. I have wasted most of my life in a situation just like this and for the life of me I can't figure out why? I know there must be someone in this world who I could love and would also love me back. I really don't mean sex, I mean affection. Yes, I've told him that I would love to be treated as if he loved my company and enjoyed being with me as a partner, to no avail. I think I have finally given up because I don't know what to do next. I've had it.
#2 Nov 20, 2012
i totally understand,
i was in a marriage like that. it is MUCH worse being with someone and being lonely than being a lone.
having a touch when your feeling down or a hug when your having a bad day.
to have some one just takes your hand,touches your face for no reason other than they love you.
a smile or a kiss that says I'm always be here.
the sex part: that's all it is in a relation like that, just sex.
grunt,grunt and its over. there's a BIG difference between sex and making love.
the problem i had was she took kindness for weakness.
your in a real bad position but only you can change it.
good luck to you.
#3 Nov 20, 2012
i know the feeling
the woman that i am married to
had a few previus bad marriages
so nothing that i did was ever good enough
#4 Nov 20, 2012
#5 Dec 6, 2012
It is very hard when your marriage is good for years, then especially when the kids get older and can drive themselves and try to ''figure out'' their life you look at your spouse and realize how cold the house is even with wood on the fire. Even tho women still work a lot out of the house as do most men, the women still run and support the kids, are involved in their lives and helping them through their ''roughest years'' to them it seems. Men tend to work longer either by need or by choice and the separation starts in the middle of the marriage. until their is no more conversation, family activities together, dinner....forget that its usually on the run. then your sitting there one day and the spouse walks in and you feel the resentment, as you are washing uniforms, cleaning house, warming his dinner, getting his beverage, and then off to support the kids, you do all this with him not even acknowledging your existence except to say ''honey when will you be home, I might wait up for ya....ya another duty to do!! then you despise each other so much and blame each other so much that, one or both go find what they are looking for and missing at home, when actually they should have turned to each other a long time ago to fix it when it was just a crack. Now to much hurt, resentment, cold words, ignoring each other, and waaaaay to much to ever take back has destroyed the life you once had. I mean a slap on the butt as one is walking by IS NOT FOREPLAY, nor is the ever poplar BOOBIE GRAB. When you realize that the only attention paid is when then have their needs that need to be fullfilled, and you get the two hints just mentioned, screw that, I'll do my chores and find attention/affection elsewhere after I leave his butt, then he sits and wonders what went wrong!
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