Juvenile suicide?
TheTaxMan

New Lenox, IL

#22 Sep 5, 2013
And people just assume that these kids, who don't talk to their parents, will talk to their teachers? It's sad and I feel for those families/ friends, but don't blame the school for this.
hockey mom

Tinley Park, IL

#23 Sep 5, 2013
Wow that was harsh calling someone an idiot who was just speaking of parenting skills. Wake up and stop blaming other people for your poor parenting.
hockey mom

Tinley Park, IL

#24 Sep 5, 2013
hockey mom wrote:
Wow that was harsh calling someone an idiot who was just speaking of parenting skills. Wake up and stop blaming other people for your poor parenting.
That was directed at 'amen to that' stop name calling the situation in this town is bad enough without you pointing fingers and adding to it. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Didn't your parents teach you that?
hockey mom

Tinley Park, IL

#25 Sep 5, 2013
Oh wait 'amen to that' you must be one of those people that expects everyone else to parent your child and when it goes bad, you blame them.
That explains your negativity.
Jimmy

United States

#26 Sep 5, 2013
Point taken, Hockey Mom. This is alarming stuff here. Granted,, some parents dont do what they should, for whatever reason. I don't think this town is messed up. I do think a kid has to have someone to talk to. I think with the social media out there it is so easy for bullying, sex texting, cyberstalking etc, to put pressure on a kid and crush their self esteem . I don't know what the answer is.
Amen to that

Chicago, IL

#27 Sep 5, 2013
hockey mom wrote:
Oh wait 'amen to that' you must be one of those people that expects everyone else to parent your child and when it goes bad, you blame them.
That explains your negativity.
Can you prove I even have a child, moron?

I'll wait ...

And even more important to the discussion ... do I even need one to post a simple fact that makes perfect sense to everybody else on here except you?

Since it took you three posts to identify who you were responding to because you can't figure out how to use the "Reply" button, my guess is you can't prove much of anything except what an idiot you are of course!

Now try to stop taking so many pucks to the head ... that must explain your obvious brain damage.
Amen to that

Chicago, IL

#28 Sep 5, 2013
Jimmy wrote:
Point taken, Hockey Mom. This is alarming stuff here. Granted,, some parents dont do what they should, for whatever reason. I don't think this town is messed up. I do think a kid has to have someone to talk to. I think with the social media out there it is so easy for bullying, sex texting, cyberstalking etc, to put pressure on a kid and crush their self esteem . I don't know what the answer is.
The answer is to stop thinking all kids tell their parents their problems and stop making parents the scapegoats.

I guarantee you Hockey Loudmouth didn't run to Mommy and Daddy and tell her parents every time she was bullied in school and I'll bet her kids don't either.

In fact, I'll bet their friends know more about whatever problems her kids are having having than the Mrs. Carol Brady wannabe above does.
Oh Come On

Chicago, IL

#29 Sep 6, 2013
It all starts and stops at the home. parents are not scapegoats, parents are the glue in a family. The school should not be looked at as the 2nd parent for these kids, period. If you don't have a good relationship with your kids well then you should work to have a good relationship with your kids. I don't think it has anything to do with being a Carol Brady wannabe, I think it has everything to do with parents expecting everyone else to help raise their kids nowadays.
GDP

Niles, IL

#30 Sep 6, 2013
What wrote:
Since when is the school system responsible for grief counselling for these kids? All these posts and not one mention that its the parents job to be there to help their kids through the grief. Schools are not parents! Moms and Dads, go and talk to your kids about teen suicide and help them through their grief.
I heard the boy was bullied. And there's a lot of bullying that goes on in the ofhs so they should step in and talk with the kids. I hear stories from parents that their kids are being bullied mostly by jocks. I believe them. The school and coaches protect those jocks because they want to win and need them on their team. The principle should be more involved with the kids. Separate freshman and sophomore lunches. They should be mixed with juniors and seniors at lunch. there's no control in the cafeteria the locker rooms where does our tax money go? Straight to the teachers and admin. pockets while kids are struggling with stress from bullies. Wait and see ofhs well be on the news shortly and it'll be to late for someone and their family.
GDP

Niles, IL

#31 Sep 6, 2013
Oh Come On wrote:
It all starts and stops at the home. parents are not scapegoats, parents are the glue in a family. The school should not be looked at as the 2nd parent for these kids, period. If you don't have a good relationship with your kids well then you should work to have a good relationship with your kids. I don't think it has anything to do with being a Carol Brady wannabe, I think it has everything to do with parents expecting everyone else to help raise their kids nowadays.
Schools provide a healthy safe environment for the children. What happens at school parents have no control over. Parents speak up if they no their children are being bullied. But you can only do so much. You can lead a horse to water but you can't force them to drink. It's not social media fb and the texting. That can be corrected its call pressing charges at the police. It's the comments and pushing other kids around in the school. And most kids don't tell their parents in fear of being bullied more by their peers. I bet if ofhs deals with bullying harshly it will stop. they contact the parents to let them no that their kid is bullying and parents don't do a dare thing, sweep it under their rug.
School Daze

Chicago, IL

#32 Sep 6, 2013
I remember fondly how bullying was dealt with back in the day. wouldn't be an acceptable way in todays powder puff society. Prayers to the families of both of these children. Tragedy.
Stefano Montana

Chicago, IL

#33 Sep 6, 2013
I heard it had something to do with something else.. Not bullying. More with the family was planning a move.
GDP wrote:
<quoted text>
I heard the boy was bullied. And there's a lot of bullying that goes on in the ofhs so they should step in and talk with the kids. I hear stories from parents that their kids are being bullied mostly by jocks. I believe them. The school and coaches protect those jocks because they want to win and need them on their team. The principle should be more involved with the kids. Separate freshman and sophomore lunches. They should be mixed with juniors and seniors at lunch. there's no control in the cafeteria the locker rooms where does our tax money go? Straight to the teachers and admin. pockets while kids are struggling with stress from bullies. Wait and see ofhs well be on the news shortly and it'll be to late for someone and their family.
HilleDad

Cedar Lake, IN

#34 Sep 6, 2013
School Daze, you are absolutely right. GDP you are also. The Admins at OFHS and the School Board should come down rock solid on these jocks and their chump coaches. One word I can't stand is "Coach". I remember in High School, a kid in wrestling was having a hard time breathing, all he heard was Aww, c'mon kid, do it for da coach you pussy. The kid pushed for DA COACH, the kids now dead.
Amen to that

Chicago, IL

#35 Sep 6, 2013
Stefano Montana wrote:
I heard it had something to do with something else.. Not bullying. More with the family was planning a move.
<quoted text>
You also posted earlier:

"Yeah female this time.... junior.... Was told she might have been a friend of the male from last week. "

No, she wasn't a friend of the previous male.

Keep in mind that not everyone who insists on commenting on a given topic necessarily knows what they're talking about.

Also, topix is a haven for trolls who like to post gossip as fact along with intentional BS since the anonymous nature of posts here (and a lack of any REAL social ramifications for their actions) offers a great excuse for said people to stop holding themselves to actual standards of human behavior.
Amen to that

Chicago, IL

#36 Sep 6, 2013
Oh Come On wrote:
It all starts and stops at the home. parents are not scapegoats, parents are the glue in a family. The school should not be looked at as the 2nd parent for these kids, period. If you don't have a good relationship with your kids well then you should work to have a good relationship with your kids. I don't think it has anything to do with being a Carol Brady wannabe, I think it has everything to do with parents expecting everyone else to help raise their kids nowadays.
You're still missing the point.

Ever hear the proverb: "It takes a village to raise a child"?

First ... Many kids do not run to their parents for help with their problems because: there's just some things kids feel are too personal; they don't think their parents can help the situation; they just don't think their parents would understand; they don't grasp at that young age that small problems seem bigger than they are at that age; etc, etc, etc.

And those are just a quick four I came up with right on the spot.

There's all sorts of reasons they might not want to talk AT ALL about something. And if they do, it might not be with their parents - regardless of how great the parent/son or parent/daughter relationship is. There's details counselors at school know that the parents don't and there's things their friends know that there parents don't.

And second ... a parent can not force his son or daughter to talk about something that affects them. If a child decides not to talk about an issue with his/her parents and chooses to hide how it affects them, then there's little (if anything) a parent can do.

So let me be clear here ...

No, it doesn't start "and stop" at the home since things outside the family can and do greatly affect kids and can thus wear down this family "glue" you speak of. There's the effect that classroom teachers have on kids when they have them away from the family "glue" for 7 hours a day and then there's the HUGE effect that his or her friends have on a child and thus on that family "glue" too.

Yes, you ARE making parents "scapegoats" when you post what you did above.

Saying "I think it has everything to do with parents expecting everyone else to help raise their kids nowadays." is a typical ignorant and uninformed statement from a very ignorant, clueless person - most likely a conservative who wants to scapegoat someone else's parents because pointing fingers at others helps you feel superior to them.

I'd love to be a fly on the wall and find out what problems your own kids have that they just haven't told you about. But again, that's something only their counselor or their friends would know, right?

N-O-B-O-D-Y is saying the parents are completely blameless here, but there is a limit to what parents can do just as there is an inherent limit to what parents know concerning the day-to-day lives of their own kid(s).

And that limit is largely outside their control regardless of whether you like it or choose to accept it.

So, yes, parents often do need help (from other key people) "to raise their kids nowdays"
hallelujah

Alsip, IL

#37 Sep 6, 2013
Amen to that wrote:
<quoted text>
You're still missing the point.
Ever hear the proverb: "It takes a village to raise a child"?
First ... Many kids do not run to their parents for help with their problems because: there's just some things kids feel are too personal; they don't think their parents can help the situation; they just don't think their parents would understand; they don't grasp at that young age that small problems seem bigger than they are at that age; etc, etc, etc.
And those are just a quick four I came up with right on the spot.
There's all sorts of reasons they might not want to talk AT ALL about something. And if they do, it might not be with their parents - regardless of how great the parent/son or parent/daughter relationship is. There's details counselors at school know that the parents don't and there's things their friends know that there parents don't.
And second ... a parent can not force his son or daughter to talk about something that affects them. If a child decides not to talk about an issue with his/her parents and chooses to hide how it affects them, then there's little (if anything) a parent can do.
So let me be clear here ...
No, it doesn't start "and stop" at the home since things outside the family can and do greatly affect kids and can thus wear down this family "glue" you speak of. There's the effect that classroom teachers have on kids when they have them away from the family "glue" for 7 hours a day and then there's the HUGE effect that his or her friends have on a child and thus on that family "glue" too.
Yes, you ARE making parents "scapegoats" when you post what you did above.
Saying "I think it has everything to do with parents expecting everyone else to help raise their kids nowadays." is a typical ignorant and uninformed statement from a very ignorant, clueless person - most likely a conservative who wants to scapegoat someone else's parents because pointing fingers at others helps you feel superior to them.
I'd love to be a fly on the wall and find out what problems your own kids have that they just haven't told you about. But again, that's something only their counselor or their friends would know, right?
N-O-B-O-D-Y is saying the parents are completely blameless here, but there is a limit to what parents can do just as there is an inherent limit to what parents know concerning the day-to-day lives of their own kid(s).
And that limit is largely outside their control regardless of whether you like it or choose to accept it.
So, yes, parents often do need help (from other key people) "to raise their kids nowdays"
I had considered responding in this thread, and I'm glad I didn't as this said it better than I could.

They lost their kids...
OFHSMOM

Chicago, IL

#38 Sep 7, 2013
hallelujah wrote:
<quoted text>
I had considered responding in this thread, and I'm glad I didn't as this said it better than I could.
They lost their kids...
I too have been following along and was going to respond conbsidering both my children knew both of them . I can confirm neither were bullied and as a matter of fact the boy has a wonderful mother and father. As for the young girl I do not know her parents personally however following her on fb I can see she was loved by all her peers at ofhs which does say something about her character which I believe is taught by your parents . It does take a village to raise a child . You are right and it seems to me you have some common sense ! These parents are going through something no parent would ever want to go through . I know we can teach our children our values and how to be honest with us however they are teenagers ! Try to remember that ,, we all have to watch for eachothers kids make sure they are aware we are watching and we listen to what's going on . And if you have something ignorant to say about someones parenting skills at least have the dignity to identify yourself instead of having an alias be a woman . What are you teaching your children! Rest in paradise sweet angels and if either parents read this know you are wonderful parents I know so!
Keghan

United States

#39 Sep 7, 2013
OFHSMOM wrote:
<quoted text>
I too have been following along and was going to respond conbsidering both my children knew both of them . I can confirm neither were bullied and as a matter of fact the boy has a wonderful mother and father. As for the young girl I do not know her parents personally however following her on fb I can see she was loved by all her peers at ofhs which does say something about her character which I believe is taught by your parents . It does take a village to raise a child . You are right and it seems to me you have some common sense ! These parents are going through something no parent would ever want to go through . I know we can teach our children our values and how to be honest with us however they are teenagers ! Try to remember that ,, we all have to watch for eachothers kids make sure they are aware we are watching and we listen to what's going on . And if you have something ignorant to say about someones parenting skills at least have the dignity to identify yourself instead of having an alias be a woman . What are you teaching your children! Rest in paradise sweet angels and if either parents read this know you are wonderful parents I know so!
Perfectly said.
Jen

Waymart, PA

#40 Sep 7, 2013
Amen to that wrote:
<quoted text>
You assume that kids willingly come to their parents with their teenage problems.
Not sure what color the sky is in your world, but you watch way too many Brady Bunch episodes
Thus we can now assume you're an idiot.
Agreed. I thank the school for holding grief counseling. Not all parents are going to discuss these issues with their kids, and some kids aren't willing to open up to their parents, but will with their peers or a counselor. This effects the students where they spend the majority of the week; why shouldn't it be discussed with them, hockey mom? Not sure why you have an issue with the school helping the kids in additon to the parents?

I do have a problem with D142 not sharing this information with other schools in the district. I should not have to hear a "rumor" from a 12 year old, and then have it confirmed from a friend who has a child in the high school. It is on my kids mind and I would like to be informed and talk with him about it.
bengalmom

Oak Forest, IL

#41 Sep 7, 2013
Amen to that wrote:
<quoted text>
You're still missing the point.
Ever hear the proverb: "It takes a village to raise a child"?
First ... Many kids do not run to their parents for help with their problems because: there's just some things kids feel are too personal; they don't think their parents can help the situation; they just don't think their parents would understand; they don't grasp at that young age that small problems seem bigger than they are at that age; etc, etc, etc.
And those are just a quick four I came up with right on the spot.
There's all sorts of reasons they might not want to talk AT ALL about something. And if they do, it might not be with their parents - regardless of how great the parent/son or parent/daughter relationship is. There's details counselors at school know that the parents don't and there's things their friends know that there parents don't.
And second ... a parent can not force his son or daughter to talk about something that affects them. If a child decides not to talk about an issue with his/her parents and chooses to hide how it affects them, then there's little (if anything) a parent can do.
So let me be clear here ...
No, it doesn't start "and stop" at the home since things outside the family can and do greatly affect kids and can thus wear down this family "glue" you speak of. There's the effect that classroom teachers have on kids when they have them away from the family "glue" for 7 hours a day and then there's the HUGE effect that his or her friends have on a child and thus on that family "glue" too.
Yes, you ARE making parents "scapegoats" when you post what you did above.
Saying "I think it has everything to do with parents expecting everyone else to help raise their kids nowadays." is a typical ignorant and uninformed statement from a very ignorant, clueless person - most likely a conservative who wants to scapegoat someone else's parents because pointing fingers at others helps you feel superior to them.
I'd love to be a fly on the wall and find out what problems your own kids have that they just haven't told you about. But again, that's something only their counselor or their friends would know, right?
N-O-B-O-D-Y is saying the parents are completely blameless here, but there is a limit to what parents can do just as there is an inherent limit to what parents know concerning the day-to-day lives of their own kid(s).
And that limit is largely outside their control regardless of whether you like it or choose to accept it.
So, yes, parents often do need help (from other key people) "to raise their kids nowdays"
Very well said, thank you. I am so tired of the self-rightous judging everyone elses parenting. It DOES take a vilage and I will add one more point. Parents are not mental health professionals. There is only so much help even the most involved parent can provide a child that is truly struggling. The resources that the school provides can make it easier for a kid to get the help they made need.

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