Who still follows the Sara Blom Thread?

[Mike Snyder]

Over the past 10 months or so a lot of people have chimed in at some point about the Sara Blom and Mike Snyder case. But I am wondering, who is still following it at all, even if you are not a regular poster. Please don't use this thread to troll or to discuss the case much. If you are still reading the case updates and following along, please just declare yourself so I can get some kind of sense of how many are really interested or if its just a select few. Thanks.

[Hussie]

You know I'm here (there) for the duration...I take great offense to those who use the Courts to abuse others, and pursue some sick vendetta...Especially those who, even when the truth comes out, continue on their path of destruction...

[jasin]

I started following it and sometimes read an update or two, but honestly it's too depressing for me to follow too closely.

I have a couple of little ones and can't imagine going through a difficulty like that.

I'm rooting for you but don't have much to bring to the table on this so I'll be a quiet observer...unless obama joins the cast or someone bashes law enforcement etc.

[nick in arvada]

I'm sick of it and could give a rats ass about anyone involved including the child.I know that's mean as hell.Everyone acts like Mike is only one that is going though this and that this never happens.It's not,there are far more and far worse that are going on for me to really to care about the situation.My wife works at a treatment facility for children that have been pulled from homes that would make everyone here think twice about what is going on to Mike and his child and realize that what is going on with him is minor and more about the parents trying get over on one another by using their child!

PW had the best advice that I have heard in the other thread about putting the child in foster care.If ANYONE really cares about this case or the child they would agree that THAT is the BEST thing for the child till the hole STUPID case is over.

For me this case is just like watching "Rock of Love" or anyone of the ohter hundred stupid "Reallity Shows" on tv right now.

Sorry to anyone that took offense to my comment.I stay off of Mikes thread cause like I said I don't care about Mike or his case.He put up this thread for commenst like this and this will be my only comment about his case here on this thread or Mikes other one.

Just my $.02

[Jeezuz Freak]

nick in arvada wrote:

I'm sick of it and could give a rats ass about anyone involved including the child.I know that's mean as hell.Everyone acts like Mike is only one that is going though this and that this never happens.It's not,there are far more and far worse that are going on for me to really to care about the situation.My wife works at a treatment facility for children that have been pulled from homes that would make everyone here think twice about what is going on to Mike and his child and realize that what is going on with him is minor and more about the parents trying get over on one another by using their child!
PW had the best advice that I have heard in the other thread about putting the child in foster care.If ANYONE really cares about this case or the child they would agree that THAT is the BEST thing for the child till the hole STUPID case is over.
For me this case is just like watching "Rock of Love" or anyone of the ohter hundred stupid "Reallity Shows" on tv right now.
Sorry to anyone that took offense to my comment.I stay off of Mikes thread cause like I said I don't care about Mike or his case.He put up this thread for commenst like this and this will be my only comment about his case here on this thread or Mikes other one.
Just my $.02

Wow, your true colors are showing.

Put the children in foster care? are you for real?

[HWGA]

present sometimes

[The Iggy]

Well you know I am still reading Mike.

[The Iggy]

nick in arvada wrote:

I'm sick of it and could give a rats ass about anyone involved including the child.I know that's mean as hell.Everyone acts like Mike is only one that is going though this and that this never happens.It's not,there are far more and far worse that are going on for me to really to care about the situation.My wife works at a treatment facility for children that have been pulled from homes that would make everyone here think twice about what is going on to Mike and his child and realize that what is going on with him is minor and more about the parents trying get over on one another by using their child!
PW had the best advice that I have heard in the other thread about putting the child in foster care.If ANYONE really cares about this case or the child they would agree that THAT is the BEST thing for the child till the hole STUPID case is over.
For me this case is just like watching "Rock of Love" or anyone of the ohter hundred stupid "Reallity Shows" on tv right now.
Sorry to anyone that took offense to my comment.I stay off of Mikes thread cause like I said I don't care about Mike or his case.He put up this thread for commenst like this and this will be my only comment about his case here on this thread or Mikes other one.
Just my $.02

While normally we agree, I guess what has kept me watching this case is the duping I feel I got by the original media reports. Because I got sucked in, I still follow it.

I don't disagree that there are many worse senarios or conditions children are subjected to (as your wife knows first hand) and I agree that this isn't necessarily the MOST pressing of child welfare cases, more like a nasty divorce.

It is good to see you Nick! You've been missed greatly.:) BIG HUGS! Iggs

[The Iggy]

Jeezuz Freak wrote:

<quoted text>
Wow, your true colors are showing.
Put the children in foster care? are you for real?

If you don't know of what you speak, it is best to keep your mouth SHUT! Dip$h!t!

[Psychowatch]

Jeezuz Freak wrote:

<quoted text>
Wow, your true colors are showing.
Put the children in foster care? are you for real?

Speaking from experience foster care, especially with a sympathetic relative can be the "saving hope" that a child needs. My grandmother understood that I was intelligent and VERY INDEPENDENT. Rather than trying to squash that out of me or it being a focus of resentment instead of pride on the part of my parents, she simply gave me a number of tasks that showed her faith that I would accomplish them well. She had an old push scooter totally rusted. She said if you want to fix it up, I'll pay for the supplies. Even though I already had a bicycle, I thought my littlest brother may like it. It took me a week to sand it down to bare metal, and then she let me pick out a color of Rustoleum paint. It came out superb and my brother enjoyed it. She'd give me some money and say "could you please walk to the T,G & Y store and get such and such for me." This was a store over a mile away on a major boulevard.(so no bike riding there) For a 9 year old kid to be trusted with such responsibility did wonders for my feeling like someone actually took me seriously as a human being instead of as some hockey puck being batted back and forth between opposing goals.

Anyway, my point is that a good child psychologist can make the child feel safe to confide WHAT THE CHILD IS FEELING. And in my case in asking: "If there was a way that you could be somewhere else for a while, would you like that." My answer was an enthusiastic YES, YES, YES, OH PLEASE YES!!

Now granted I am not Mike's boy, but I do wonder if any of the adults in the matter have actually tried to ascertain from his POV if he too would like a vacation from the confusing madness where from the child's POV he is just the SOURCE for all the bickering of the adults.

What I do clearly know is my school pictures show a somber unsmiling rejected and dejected 6,7,8 & 9 year old until at 10 and 11 I can actually smile again in the photos.

For whatever that is worth.

[Narcissim]

That's what I see! One parent out to make the other the worst. Been there, done that. Sorry, you lose, your kid loses and your ex wins, by default.

[Jeezuz Freak]

The Iggy wrote:

<quoted text>
If you don't know of what you speak, it is best to keep your mouth SHUT! Dip$h!t!

Children should only be removed from the biological parents and placed in foster care if they are in imminent danger.

So then you're saying that Mike poses an imminent danger to his children?

There is a very high rate of abuse and risk in the foster care system and while there are good and bad foster parents how do you know which one a child will end up in?

52% of children in U.S. foster care had symptoms of attachment disorder, maltreatment, physical and psychological neglect, physical abuse and sexual abuse. Many experience trauma as a result of abuse or neglect inflicted by the foster parent which can disrupt the normal development of secure attachment.

In most cases children who are removed from there biological parents and put into foster care are removed because the parent is unfit to parent, i.e. Is a drug addict, psychotic, unstable, living in squalor, etc. posing and imminent danger to their children. I’ve spent some time reading some of the post and I don’t see any evidence of that in Mike.

Btw, please refrain from name calling, it only shows your lack of intelligence.

[Jeezuz Freak]

Psychowatch wrote:

<quoted text>
Speaking from experience foster care, especially with a sympathetic relative can be the "saving hope" that a child needs. My grandmother understood that I was intelligent and VERY INDEPENDENT. Rather than trying to squash that out of me or it being a focus of resentment instead of pride on the part of my parents, she simply gave me a number of tasks that showed her faith that I would accomplish them well. She had an old push scooter totally rusted. She said if you want to fix it up, I'll pay for the supplies. Even though I already had a bicycle, I thought my littlest brother may like it. It took me a week to sand it down to bare metal, and then she let me pick out a color of Rustoleum paint. It came out superb and my brother enjoyed it. She'd give me some money and say "could you please walk to the T,G & Y store and get such and such for me." This was a store over a mile away on a major boulevard.(so no bike riding there) For a 9 year old kid to be trusted with such responsibility did wonders for my feeling like someone actually took me seriously as a human being instead of as some hockey puck being batted back and forth between opposing goals.
Anyway, my point is that a good child psychologist can make the child feel safe to confide WHAT THE CHILD IS FEELING. And in my case in asking: "If there was a way that you could be somewhere else for a while, would you like that." My answer was an enthusiastic YES, YES, YES, OH PLEASE YES!!
Now granted I am not Mike's boy, but I do wonder if any of the adults in the matter have actually tried to ascertain from his POV if he too would like a vacation from the confusing madness where from the child's POV he is just the SOURCE for all the bickering of the adults.
What I do clearly know is my school pictures show a somber unsmiling rejected and dejected 6,7,8 & 9 year old until at 10 and 11 I can actually smile again in the photos.
For whatever that is worth.

You're one of the lucky ones.

Btw I remember the TG&Y, I loved that store as a kid. And next door was a pharmacy with an old fashion fountain where you could order a milk shake.

[Mike Snyder]

Holy Cow!!! I just saw the poll results... a LOT of activity. I'm also glad to see a significant number of people deviating from what was originally the attitude. I won't criticize those who hold a different view at this point.

[Jeezuz Freak]

Mike Snyder wrote:

I won't criticize those who hold a different view at this point.

I've read some to your post and I have to say "you da man".

Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.

Btw whoever suggested foster care for your son hasn't got a clue and only has an ax to grind with you for whatever reason. The only two words that made sense in their post were the first two words. I believe it was in post number 4 of this forum. And yes they are sick to suggest foster care.

[Mike Snyder]

Thanks Jeezuz Freak! The ones who suggested foster care were just expressing anger at parents who won't get along for the sake of their kids. It was disturbing to read, but you have to not take it personally. They obviously aren't intimately aware of the situation. I took somewhat of a dive early on specifically to avoid both of us losing him in 2003. As much as I want to get him away from her (custody wise) I would actually try to team up with her if he went into foster care for any length of time. Yeah... she is abusing him in many ways... but he is used to it and he still loves her, so the trauma isn't anywhere near what it would be if he lost both of us. And then who knows what the foster family would do? If they hurt my little man, I would be in a whole lot deeper trouble! At worst, they could make him stay with her mother for while and they both would love it. I wouldn't have a problem with that. But it was pure ignorance to suggest foster care from me AND her.

[Psychowatch]

One comment to both of you. If you have yourselves never been in "foster care" of a good foster parent, you really have no genuine perspective of the experience. Being in the care of a psychologically and/or physically abusive parent is damaging. PERIOD. I know this from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. The 15 months I spent with my grandparents with only limited visitation with the parents is probably what saved me from becoming 100% withdrawn. It allowed me to see how sane people can relate to one another and treat exch other with dignity and respect for their attributes. It allowed me the opportunity to proove to some adults that I could be functional, responsible, and a valid contributor. It gave me the breathing space to pull through a childhood depression that had lasted for years.

Don't knock it if you really don't know of what you speak.

And yes the turning point here is the "quality" of the foster care, as well as the age of the child at the time of placement. A 9 year old is considered to be able to ascertain for himself what would make him happier, whereas a six year old is still in the mode of attempting to please their caregiver, in many of their decisions.

And no Mike, I am in no way attempting to persuade what to do with your own son. That frankly is none of my damn business. I am only making this comment because I am seeing two people making a judgement based upon an experience they have never had, but rather the heresay of TV melodramas, and whatever other sources. That is a partially ignorant appraisal of the situations. Good fostering with sane and respectfulk surrogate parents CAN IN FACT be of benefit. A good child psychologist can evaluate the child, the situation, the quality of the care available and make a recommendation subject to parent and court approval.

And the fact that I was fostered by grandparents, from my point of view was immaterial.(though I can not deny that maybe it had an affect on their attitude towards me) Before that respite I had only interacted with them on a few holiday occasions with other family. I really didn't know them, nor them know myself, other than the fact that they were kin and that their environment would be safer and more sane than the one I was in.

Again not advisement of what should be done. Simply the 2cents of someone who HAS LIVED THE EXPERIENCE and knows that yes it can be beneficial.

[Psychowatch]

PS, the fact that two adults bring a child into the world before they have already established whether they are indeed compatible to carry on a longterm, healthy and stable partnership is itself evidence of a ceratin lack of wisdom responsibility, and sound judgement of and towards others, in favor to their own emotional whims, on the part of such adults. This applies to every such situation, Not just M & S's

[Raynard in Hobbs]

Psychowatch wrote:

PS, the fact that two adults bring a child into the world before they have already established whether they are indeed compatible to carry on a longterm, healthy and stable partnership is itself evidence of a ceratin lack of wisdom responsibility, and sound judgement of and towards others, in favor to their own emotional whims, on the part of such adults. This applies to every such situation, Not just M & S's

You need to relax, you're going to have a heart attack if you don't lighten up.
Not everyone is Mr or Miss or Mrs. perfect like you. We're all human.

[Psychowatch]

Some are Human others are just baboons with car keys. The former thinks before it acts, the latter does just the opposite. And that is a general statement, not directed at any particular poster.