Friends With Exes
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curious

Fairfax, VA

#1 Jan 2, 2013
I'm curious to know what people think:
Is it acceptable for your significant other to remain friends with their ex?...the occasional small-talk texts, greeting with a hug when they cross paths, sharing random thoughts or updates via text or phone, and interact on Facebook?
Should it be acceptable for a significant other to insist on remaining friends with an ex, even when you express it bothers you, hurts you, makes you feel uncomfortable?
Lastly, do you think expressing being uncomfortable/bothered by this means you're automatically controlling, too jealous, overly insecure, or too uptight?

What is your personal opinion?
Joe

United States

#2 Jan 2, 2013
curious wrote:
I'm curious to know what people think:
Is it acceptable for your significant other to remain friends with their ex?...the occasional small-talk texts, greeting with a hug when they cross paths, sharing random thoughts or updates via text or phone, and interact on Facebook?
Should it be acceptable for a significant other to insist on remaining friends with an ex, even when you express it bothers you, hurts you, makes you feel uncomfortable?
Lastly, do you think expressing being uncomfortable/bothered by this means you're automatically controlling, too jealous, overly insecure, or too uptight?

What is your personal opinion?
No this is not acceptable behavior. Just think about this, would any devoted spouse remain in contact with an ex without hoping to have or having more going on with that person? I think not. You would obviously be jealous but not controlling by expressing your concern but realize that their relationship has past the point of being platonic before so how do you expect it to stay that way? I believe that there is no such thing as a truly platonic relationship between a man and a woman, one of them is always secretly hoping for more.
Friend

Poplar Bluff, MO

#3 Jan 2, 2013
I agree with joe!

Since: May 11

Location hidden

#4 Jan 2, 2013
I am friends with an ex of mine. He is married now to my best friend and I am also happily married. There is nothing wrong with being friends with an ex. If their history is before you then their history will remain after you, regardless as to how you feel about the situation.
Depends

Dexter, MO

#5 Jan 2, 2013
Do they have children together? Do they go places together? How long was they together? I don't see a problem with it as long as they aren't hanging out together. If you feel something with the relationship isn't right then follow your gut and just observe.
Joe

Bernie, MO

#6 Jan 2, 2013
Ladymonz wrote:
I am friends with an ex of mine. He is married now to my best friend and I am also happily married. There is nothing wrong with being friends with an ex. If their history is before you then their history will remain after you, regardless as to how you feel about the situation.
And now you are living in a situation where your ex is fantasizing about a threesome with you and your best friend. Like I said, truly platonic relationships don't exist between men and women. Sorry if this offends you but this is the male perspective and this is how we all think and what your ex is thinking.
BS

United States

#7 Jan 2, 2013
Not all men think like that. Mostly just dogs.
Joe

Bernie, MO

#8 Jan 2, 2013
BS wrote:
Not all men think like that. Mostly just dogs.
Sorry to give you the bad news but yes, all of us do think that way. I don't care if a guy is a preacher, that is how we think. Only the honest of men like myself will admit it. If a man tells you any different he is a liar. Men are instinctively programmed that way.
BS

United States

#9 Jan 3, 2013
Well..... I beg to differ. My mans ex got really fat and nasty on him. Which is why he left her. And she seriously wouldn't even look right in the bed with us. Doubtfully all men fantasize about their exes. There's a good reason why some are exes lol
jen-b-easy

Tulsa, OK

#10 Jan 3, 2013
curious wrote:
I'm curious to know what people think:
Is it acceptable for your significant other to remain friends with their ex?...the occasional small-talk texts, greeting with a hug when they cross paths, sharing random thoughts or updates via text or phone, and interact on Facebook?
Should it be acceptable for a significant other to insist on remaining friends with an ex, even when you express it bothers you, hurts you, makes you feel uncomfortable?
Lastly, do you think expressing being uncomfortable/bothered by this means you're automatically controlling, too jealous, overly insecure, or too uptight?
What is your personal opinion?
I think once they're an ex, if there are no kids involved, they should stay out of your new life and relationships. Same goes for coworkers that have crossed that aquaintence line into flirting. No reason to get their # and try to pry your way into their life. Simply put, if you wouldnt do it in front of your spouse, DONT DO IT AT ALL
Really

Dexter, MO

#11 Jan 3, 2013
jen-b-easy wrote:
<quoted text>
I think once they're an ex, if there are no kids involved, they should stay out of your new life and relationships. Same goes for coworkers that have crossed that aquaintence line into flirting. No reason to get their # and try to pry your way into their life. Simply put, if you wouldnt do it in front of your spouse, DONT DO IT AT ALL
Does that include calling your ex out of the blue after 18 years and demanding to know why he remarried? And then calling his mother and demanding the same thing? I know of one who did it.
Guest

Kansas City, MO

#12 Jan 3, 2013
Really wrote:
<quoted text>
Does that include calling your ex out of the blue after 18 years and demanding to know why he remarried? And then calling his mother and demanding the same thing? I know of one who did it.

Thats absurd! People need to move on.

Since: May 11

Location hidden

#13 Jan 4, 2013
Not all men think the same. Just as all women do not think the same. I do not generalize men. My ex does not think of having a threesome with me and his wife. I know this as fact, as to where none of you know my ex or know what he thinks. Him and I split because we are better as friends and have remained that way for six years. It is possible for men and women to have platonic relationships even if they were more before. Some people grow up a realize that is takes more than having things in common to make a relationship work and figure out that they are just happy being friends.
Jake

Lees Summit, MO

#14 Jan 4, 2013
Joe wrote:
<quoted text>
And now you are living in a situation where your ex is fantasizing about a threesome with you and your best friend. Like I said, truly platonic relationships don't exist between men and women. Sorry if this offends you but this is the male perspective and this is how we all think and what your ex is thinking.
Hey dick breath it's not a male perspective it's only your perspective and we all don't think as stupid as you.Damn boy you are one stupid sumbitch for sure.
tips

Farmington, MO

#15 Jan 5, 2013
yes ex's always stay in each others lives even after the children grow.There will always be a close bond that nobody new will ever take the place of .Especially if there was a close bond before.So don't fool yourselves!!!
Joe

Bernie, MO

#16 Jan 5, 2013
Jake wrote:
<quoted text>Hey dick breath it's not a male perspective it's only your perspective and we all don't think as stupid as you.Damn boy you are one stupid sumbitch for sure.
Let me rephrase, my perspective is a straight mans perspective. I'm sorry for excluding you homosexuals. Not even myself knows what you are thinking
BS

United States

#17 Jan 5, 2013
Go crawl back in your doghouse silly boy
mmm

Clarkton, MO

#18 Jan 5, 2013
no i don't think keeping in contact in that way would be approriate at all with an ex, giving them a hug when they pass by, really? are you really over that person or not? If they have moved on with someone else, let them be. Have u moved on? These are questions that u should stop and ask yourself. How did it end, and who done who wrong? If their are children involved then visits should be set up accordingly with the courts.
mmm

Clarkton, MO

#19 Jan 5, 2013
What does a man mean when they say "whatever happens, I want you and only you and nobody else"? and then say "I wont be with anyone else". and yes there is kids involved...
Wondering

Rector, AR

#20 Jan 5, 2013
You damn right if there is kids you people need to grow up .......... You young ass girls that try to play mommy & haven't a clue need to stay out of visits between a child & parent cause your nothing but the gf at the moment and yes I said MOMENT if I recall yup he was married when found you so go ahead and support his non working A$$ cause in case you didn't know yeah he's still calling me just so you know !

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