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41 - 60 of 75 Comments Last updated May 3, 2013

“boredom made me do it”

Since: Aug 08

ny, ny

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#41
May 2, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
She's the one who cheated on him. Twice. She loses any right to complain about how he responds to it.
Disagree. There's a baseline of basic respect that you don't get to violate just because you feel or have been wronged. If you're not capable of giving it, get out. It cheapens you to take any other path. Because the "punishment"? It is assuming a form of control and controlling is just as bad for a relationship and both people in it as the cheating is. Even people who have screwed up get to note that other people are also screwing up.

“boredom made me do it”

Since: Aug 08

ny, ny

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#42
May 2, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Interesting. I think you make good points.
Thanks - I forgot to mention that marriage is also the only avenue out of the parental home that they may now find stifling and just want *out* of, to have some measure of independence, and often even a bad marriage will give them that. I know 2 situations where this is exactly how it played out. One was my best friend and the Bengali woman he married, one was my Albanian former landlord's oldest daughter, who was also looking to escape an arranged marriage.

“boredom made me do it”

Since: Aug 08

ny, ny

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#43
May 2, 2013
 
Tack on to that the younger daughter "arranged" her own marriage, and got married at 15 under pressure from back home. From everything I saw she and the guy got along well, but I'm really sure that she would not have been looking for or open to such a serious relationship if it wasn't a matter of not being put in the position her older sister had been.
Julie

Skokie, IL

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#44
May 2, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
Um, if a bouquet of flowers show up at my house and they're for my wife and I know I didn't send them, you bet your @zz I'm gonna look at the card to see who did.
Ummm, your HYPOTHETICAL wife, of course. God help any *real* woman desperate/drugged enough to marry you :-)

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#45
May 2, 2013
 
No its not. If you make a cake and want it pristine until after dinner and someone slices a chunk out of it, they disrespected you. That is exactly what opening your mail is, disrespect.
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Completely different. Eating dessert first is not a bad thing.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

United States

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#46
May 2, 2013
 

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edogxxx wrote:
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Yeah, pretty much. One man's "snooping" is another man's "curiosity."
Holy crap, you're a moron. Curiosity is nothing more than an emotional state. It affects and involves nothing and no one else. Snooping is an action that involves another person or thing.

Snoop: To look or pry especially in a sneaking or meddlesome manner. To pry into other people's business or affairs, especially surreptitiously.

You need Viagra for your brain, you are mentally impotent.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

United States

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#47
May 2, 2013
 

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edogxxx wrote:
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It has nothing to do with lack of trust. At the very least, it's simple curiosity. "Hey, who sent these flowers?"
BS.

"Um, if a bouquet of flowers show up at my house and they're for my wife and I know I didn't send them, you bet your @zz I'm gonna look at the card to see who did."

That's not curiosity talking, that's insecurity and a lack of trust.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#48
May 2, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
No its not. If you make a cake and want it pristine until after dinner and someone slices a chunk out of it, they disrespected you. That is exactly what opening your mail is, disrespect.
<quoted text>
This is one of those instances where I needed the sarcastic, fun font.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#49
May 2, 2013
 
Oh... oops!
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
This is one of those instances where I needed the sarcastic, fun font.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#50
May 2, 2013
 

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Call it curiosity. Call it snooping. I don't give a rar's ass. A bouquet of flowers gets delivered for my wife, I'm checking the card. The fact that she would show me when she got home does not negate my need to know right now.

As it is, I open all the mail that comes to our house anyway. And yes, on the rare occasion that she gets the mail before me, she can and has opened things addressed to me. Don"t bother me a bit.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#51
May 2, 2013
 

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Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
BS.
"Um, if a bouquet of flowers show up at my house and they're for my wife and I know I didn't send them, you bet your @zz I'm gonna look at the card to see who did."
That's not curiosity talking, that's insecurity and a lack of trust.
No, that's "who the hell is sending my wife flowers?!"

I fail to see where the insecurity and lack of trust is coming into play.

And once again, you repeat to me what I already said, as if I've forgotten, and use it as a "THERE, GOTCHA!" without explaining why.

I'm not here to teach you about how to debate. I'm hoping experience and success and failures will help you.

Keep trying, young padawan. As for now you're failing miserably.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#52
May 2, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
Call it curiosity. Call it snooping. I don't give a rar's ass. A bouquet of flowers gets delivered for my wife, I'm checking the card. The fact that she would show me when she got home does not negate my need to know right now.
Zackly.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#53
May 2, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
As it is, I open all the mail that comes to our house anyway.
Now THIS I have to disagree on. Mail that has someone else's name on, I leave for them to open, and would expect the same.

There are actually federal laws regarding that.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#54
May 2, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Now THIS I have to disagree on. Mail that has someone else's name on, I leave for them to open, and would expect the same.
There are actually federal laws regarding that.
If my wife had a problem with it, I wouldn't do it. But neither of us has a problem with it regardless of who opens it.

“boredom made me do it”

Since: Aug 08

ny, ny

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#55
May 2, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
Call it curiosity. Call it snooping. I don't give a rar's ass. A bouquet of flowers gets delivered for my wife, I'm checking the card. The fact that she would show me when she got home does not negate my need to know right now.
As it is, I open all the mail that comes to our house anyway. And yes, on the rare occasion that she gets the mail before me, she can and has opened things addressed to me. Don"t bother me a bit.
Okay, but *why* do you need to know *right now*?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#56
May 2, 2013
 
animaniactoo wrote:
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Okay, but *why* do you need to know *right now*?
Want. Need. You can characterize it however you want. If I come home to find a bouquet of roses waiting for my wife that I did not send, I will check the card with no apologies.

If, as you say, my wife is going to tell me who sent it anyway, what's the point in waiting and wondering?

“boredom made me do it”

Since: Aug 08

ny, ny

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#57
May 2, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Want. Need. You can characterize it however you want. If I come home to find a bouquet of roses waiting for my wife that I did not send, I will check the card with no apologies.
If, as you say, my wife is going to tell me who sent it anyway, what's the point in waiting and wondering?
If she's fine with your checking it, then there's no point. But if she's not fine with it - because she wants to see it first, or whatever her reason is - then the point of waiting is respecting that it *was* addressed to her and this is how she wants to handle it.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#58
May 2, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
If my wife had a problem with it, I wouldn't do it. But neither of us has a problem with it regardless of who opens it.
Fair enough
Mister Tonka wrote:
Want. Need. You can characterize it however you want. If I come home to find a bouquet of roses waiting for my wife that I did not send, I will check the card with no apologies.
If, as you say, my wife is going to tell me who sent it anyway, what's the point in waiting and wondering?
Mmmmm... This is why you're so sexy, sexy!

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#59
May 2, 2013
 

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animaniactoo wrote:
because she wants to see it first
What is this, kindergarten. Either I can see who sent it or not. If the answer is "not", then we have a bigger problem. If the answer is that I "can", then the "when" is when I come across it. There is nothing gained by waiting.

I don't know if YOU commented on this other letter, so when I say "you", its generic, but I find it interesting that you peeps had a problem with the husband who did not want to let a wife drive HIS special car. Thought he was a dick and that she should have full access to his shit without needing to ask permission, but a dude who comes home and finds a flower delivery for his wife is a dick for looking at the note without asking permission.

Since: Jan 10

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#60
May 2, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>What is this, kindergarten. Either I can see who sent it or not. If the answer is "not", then we have a bigger problem. If the answer is that I "can", then the "when" is when I come across it. There is nothing gained by waiting.
I don't know if YOU commented on this other letter, so when I say "you", its generic, but I find it interesting that you peeps had a problem with the husband who did not want to let a wife drive HIS special car. Thought he was a dick and that she should have full access to his shit without needing to ask permission, but a dude who comes home and finds a flower delivery for his wife is a dick for looking at the note without asking permission.
I agree. I voted for wife gets to drive the car, and husband gets to read the card. I'd read it.

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