Fathers Rights in NH

Moultonborough, NH

#1 May 27, 2007
Why is it that mom's can be alcoholics, drug addicts, mooch off the system yet be allowed to maintain custody of their children??? A Dad cannot even get custody even in a situation like this!!! It will take something bad to the children as a direct result of her behavior before a judge will even listen!! Why are things this way in NH...shouldn't we be preventing abuse of children and not waiting for it to happen?? If the roles were reversed, mom would have received full custody a long time ago!! Please help and fight for father's EQUAL rights!!!

Salem, NH

#2 May 31, 2007
Is there clear proof that the mother is an alcoholic and drug addict or is the case that the father is retaliating over the breakdown of the marriage?

In either case, I have a male friend that does have custody of his child and his mother is neither.

As for EQUAL rights for fathers, I will have to disagree to some degree for the following reasons.

The presiding judge in a New Hampshire Family court takes all evidence into consideration, before making a decision regarding custody battles and usually a Guardian Ad Litem is assigned to determine the best interest and welfare of the children involved. These individuals are highly qualified individuals with multiple resources to make sure the children are placed into custody with the parent who is best for the children. The guardian assigned makes home visits to both parents’ homes and in most instances checks referrals such as pediatricians and school officials and any other individuals who see the children on a daily/weekly basis.

In fact, I feel that the system allows a great number of father's who do not pay child support order by the court and fail to play an active role in their children’s upbringing. Some do not even attempt to make phone calls to check how their children are or make an attempt to even visit with their children. The State allows them to roam freely with no consequences.

I am a disabled single mother of three children age 7, 5, and 4. For over three years I have supported these children without the child support owed to them and with little assistance from the State, because I do not meet the income guidelines. However, they do not take into consideration the shelter, clothing, and daily living expenses when determining your eligibility, so I disagree that mom's get to mooch off the system. My children go without things they need because the state and child support enforcement, let it happen.

This is unfair and unjust to the children, which is what is most important. The agencies do not follow-up and the state needs to revamp the qualifications on a case by case basis taking into account the expense of living in this decade, not the stone age.

So, unless you failed to leave out more details of the case involved, I can not agree to help and fight for father's EQUAL rights, Judges and Magistrates are more apt to rule in a father's right for custody if the facts support he is the more fit parent to have custody. This is because not many fathers ask for custody, so when they do the court listens! It is very rare that the courts see fathers seeking full custody.

I look forward to see any additional comments you may have taking what I have mentioned into account and then perhaps I could have a different perspective in the matter.

Concord, NH

#3 Jul 10, 2007
Hi...My initial post was written early in the divorce phase for them. Im sorry to hear of your circumstances. At this point, her drug use is proven but has not been taken to the court (10 month wait for trial). In the interim, the court has ruled for him to pay 1300.00 per month support in ADDITION to paying all household bills including her cell phone and her car! This is over 4,000 per month and he makes 65 per year. If you consider this fair, then perhaps your current situation has affected your perception. There will be a gaurdian appointed as you mentioned and I am confident she will find in favor of my brother. It's just the interim wait that is unfair...all goes to the mother until trial?? He cannot even return to the home to gather personal items such as photo's (there is an order for them to stay 12 feet away from each other). needless to say this temporary ruling worked quite well for her...she quit her job, resides in the marital home, and he pays all the bills. Meanwhile, the marriage deteriorated because she was unfaithful (gave him an STD) and became addicted to drugs.

Merrimack, NH

#4 Feb 25, 2012

Although, I would be stupid not to agree with you, I have to say I am going through a custody case with my son's father. He has thrown out accusation after accusation against me which have all been proven false. I have maintained custody of my son for his entire life without help. My son's father disappeared after he neglected my kid and took off and got married to someone he was cheating on me with. Only after 3 years and a new wife did he come back into his son's life. The past year has been hell for my son and I and the court wanted me to give him joint custody. I do and then 3 months later I find myself the victim of other people's viciousness. My guess is your friend needs to reevaluate what is going on in the marital home and fight for custody of his kids. If his former wife decided to quit her job that is obviously her problem. But that shows how unstable she really is.

Paterson, NJ

#5 Apr 29, 2012
I know the feeling, why is it that if your the father in NH. Automatically you are the bad parent and the mother gets treated like gold. I pay $100 a week for one child and I make $250 a week, why is my daughter walking around with holes in her jeans while her mothers smoking Marlboros at $7 per pack and many other things, she doesnt work. I told dhhs my concerns, I was told that it was none of my business. Thats fucked up, and so is the system. It needs to br seriously reworked.

Concord, NH

#6 Jun 22, 2012
i agree fathers have no rights in nh I am in a bad situation myself my child was taken by the state because my ex girlfriend neglected her I'm the non accused parent and I'm being treated worse then the one being accused so I hired a lawyer recently and told me about them gardian ad litem people do not talk to them have a lawyer there not all about the parents there about puting your child up for adoption not to mention my ex girlfriend tried to have me arrested because I did not bring my daughters car seat back in time the police called my work and told me they would arrest me if I did not bring it back and then she steals money from me and takes property of mine I call the police and they say oh it's a civil matter but if I did the same thing they would arrest me what ever happend to all people are created equal in this country seems like one sided to me and the best part I have it all on paper very weird the idiots in nh have to re write some of there laws and make it equal how many guys do you hear paying child support vs. women and that's the question that explains it all right there I find it very hard to believe that over half the fathers in nh are bad sounds like bs to me

Hudson, NH

#7 Jun 28, 2012
Im going thru this with my son and his soon to be ex...I hope someone can help me with some advice for him..He was serviced with papers and a restrasining order he has 3 lil boys...so now he cant see his boys till July 24 when he goes to court for the restraining order...its just not fair cuz im trying to help him..she wont allow me to see them either and i love these boys with all my heart..and they love their Memeire and grandpa..I need help with finding a lawyer and fathers right advacate...Please anything will help..

Manchester, NH

#8 Aug 10, 2012
I was married in 2000 and served divorce papers in 2011. I worked nights and cared for my children during the day. I have 4 children. 3 girls and 1 boy.
Birthdates are:

My wife ( Elizabeth ) works as an Occupational Therapy Assistant in the NH school system 8:30 – 2:30 with half hour drive. I worked nights as a Registered Respiratory Therapist at Mass Hospital 10pm – 8am with 45 minute drive. I did this from 2000 until 2007. I then went to a NH ospital doing 6:15pm – 6:45am. Sleep was something I would “dream” of. In 2010 my wife informed me she was going back to night school for her Masters Degree. My hours were reduced to part time and eventually Per-dium so as to continue to care for the children. I HOMESCHOOLED the children in accordance with NH law. Took the children to doctors, dentist, Speech therapy and Occupational therapy. In Jan 2010 my wife insisted the children attend public school. Would not give a season and left me little say.
One day in Sep 2011 while cleaning the house and making the beds, I found anti-depressants and ant-anxiety medication for my wife. I asked her about them and that’s when it all hit the fan. She was out of control and yelling she wants me out of the house and a divorce. I set up marriage counseling ( X 2 ) but that failed. We met with the pastor but without resolve.
Since that time she told me to leave then claimed I “abandoned” her and the kids, she handed me divorce papers, called the police on me, had my children lie and keep secrets, been reported to DCYF with “Derek plays to rough with his older daughter” and “Derek cause his older daughter PTSD”. Never before this time have I ever been reported for anything. She also wasted no time informing the kids school and Girl Scout troop leaders.
This is only a small part of our journey. Any and all assistance would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you,
Aldo Ursino

Wakefield, MA

#9 Jan 4, 2013
A lot of the times they think the Dad is lying about the Mom when it comes to a custody cases ; and they say to him ;its her say she say; but the fact is 80 percent of the fathers have no rights. We fathers should not have to pay if we want our children in our lives equally. And having any parent pay support is unconstitutional. All I can say is that there should be A Shared Parenting Bill and until it is law ; You Guys hear this if your going to get married get a pre nump and shared parenting Nump to share kids in case of divorce; because if you don't; your simply screwed ;until family courts give us men justice. Thank you for your attention guys; and non custodial parents.

United States

#10 Jul 1, 2013
I do agree that fathers have no rights. I have 50-50 custody, I pay for GREAT insurance, yet the state still makes me pay child support, gives her food stamps and medicaid for our son. She also works bringing home $1500 a month,$400 more then I do. They see what I make before taxes and go off of that (they take "into consideration" what my bills are). The fact that im losing my house has no meaning in court. I am strugglng financially and asked the courts for help but to no surprise, I was denied. She literally is renting a whole house, moving in TODAY, that cost is $1400 a month. My son is being abused by her older 2 kids to the point where her mother told me its real bad. The courts know about this as well, yet she was allowed to move 40 minutes away breaking our parenting plan. The judge told me to file paperwork SPECIFIC to violation of parenting plan, pay that fee and bring her back to court. It seems like NH truly doesnt care about whats best for the children.

United States

#11 Jul 1, 2013
dont know why it says im in Ohio.

Nashua, NH

#12 Aug 3, 2013
This is my first post - I am a grandmother raising 3 grandchildren. The father's in NH have no rights - I want to become involved in some sort of Father's Rights movement. Two of my grandchildren - I was suppose to take care of for 2-3 months - it has been 12 years. We call their father "daddy do little" - my other grandchild's mother used drugs while pregnant and is now in prison, she has been a drug addict for 18 years and a felon and she rules! I will never understand New Hampshire - but I so want to get involved!! Anyone know how - you have good fathers and you have your "Daddy do little father's - but I think the majority of father's get the shaft!!
Sad Dad

Fitchburg, MA

#13 Aug 10, 2013
Dads get no love in NH. Not from the police, the courts, nor so called child services. I was married to my abusive wife for 13 years. During that time, I worked nights and cared for my 4 kids; homeschooling where necessary. After she started hitting me (again) so hard I required surgery to save my eye, I told her I was leaving her. She then attacked me and during the struggle I pushed her off me. She called the police and they came and arrested me. They said she had marks on here which were not clear enough for them to take pictures of, but were consistent with someone getting pushed... Really?.... I have worked many years in both a hospital and a clinic and have never seen that. However, due to this my kids have been taken away from me for almost a year now while I am still waiting for the trial to prove my innocence. She makes 2.4x what I do but I have to give her 45% of my take home pay leaving me to live in horrible places I thought I would never have to live in again. I am the one who took care of the kids Monday- Saturday and 1/2 day on Sunday but all that does not matter. We have gone to 3 therapists for over 30 sessions on how she treats me, but that does not matter. I even called the abuse hotline several times in the last few years but was told there was no funding for men or men's support groups- unless I was getting raped by another man. I was told the only thing I can do is leave..... but I didn't want to leave my family. Now I have no idea what to do. I am trying as hard as I can to get my kids back, but I am being blocked at every point. Since she cried 'abuse' she is getting free help and had a team of lawyers.... I am struggling to afford one (I cut down on the number of meals a day I eat in order to save for one). I do not know what to do.........

Winchester, MA

#14 Oct 5, 2013
Steve I'm Truly sorry for your case, what is happening to you and others is unconstitutional, please write to the superior court of NH to have these injustices addressed.

Windham, NH

#15 Oct 7, 2013
This is my first post - I am a grandmother raising 3 grandchildren. The father's in NH have no rights - I want to become involved in some sort of Father's Rights movement. Two of my grandchildren - I was suppose to take care of for 2-3 months - it has been 12 years. We call their father "daddy do little" - my other grandchild's mother used drugs while pregnant and is now in prison, she has been a drug addict for 18 years and a felon and she rules! I will never understand New Hampshire - but I so want to get involved!! Anyone know how - you have good fathers and you have your "Daddy do little father's - but I think the majority of father's get the shaft!!
I would LOVE to get something going . I am a father of 3 girls, my wife has lied from the very beginning and filed a domestic violence order which the judge beleived. My daughters love me very much as I do them. I was with them everyday helping to take care of them. I have 3 hours supervised visitation for 1 year. I am so afraid I am going to lose my children. They show they miss me soo much. It is sooo unfair!!!

United States

#17 Dec 3, 2014
I had support of my daughter since my wife cheated and walked out on us. I had custody of my.daughter, the house and didn't get a cent for over a year. My wife and boyfriend go and lie to the court about me without any proof except phone calls and I lose all custody, haven't Bern able to see my.daughtfor two months and have to.pay child support. Thank you derrycourthouse.

United States

#18 Mar 9, 2017
Ya I'm also getting the shaft from nh courts and feel like we are forced to go with the system with no results lawyers take our money and won't even applie any efforts to work for you what a joke I'm at this point continplaiting giving up my rights and hoping my son has enough and comes back to me! He's 11yrs old not a good way to start out life.

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