how do you....
Posted in the Darmstadt Forum
#1 Jul 8, 2013
Tell your kids (5 and 9) that their dad tried to kill himself and is locked up at cross pointe for a bit so there won't be any visitations for awhile until after he gets electro-shock therapy???
Sorry kids, daddy is in the hospital? Daddy's sick?? Daddy's out of town?
We're divorced but they're bound to start asking questions soon and I want to be prepared with a good answer. I'm a terrible liar.
#2 Jul 8, 2013
Tell them "a version" of the truth. Tell them their dad is sick and is at the doctors getting treated so he can get better and see them as soon as he can. Tell them that it might be a week or so before they might get to see him but they can write and draw him pictures and you will make sure he gets them. Tell them that it will help him get better.
#3 Jul 8, 2013
Also. He won't get electro shock. Trust me. I've been there. There is not any decent places for mental Health around here. More than likely they will put him on meds and send him on his way. Normal stay is one to twk weeks. Even if you want to stay longer. I left this place and attempted suicide again 45 mins later. Mental illness is a battle within ones self. It's not caused by anyone. And it doesn't mean that the person doesn't love anyone less. He might be your ex but try to support him as best you can so he can get the help he needs so he realizes the precious gift he has in his children
#4 Jul 8, 2013
Don't tell them. Say he's on a business trip
#5 Jul 8, 2013
I would have to agree with bipolar. A version of the truth is most definitely the best way to go. Your children will be able to understand considering they are 5 and 9. He will probably be allowed to make phone calls before he is allowed visits so you should definitely explain to him how you explained his being gone to the children so that the both of you are prepared for their questions. Most definitely have them make him get well cards and mail to him. It will help his recovery as well as easy your children's minds.
#6 Jul 8, 2013
Thank you all for your nice advice. I like the idea of them making him get-well cards.
Yes, even though he is my ex, I understand the importance of being supportive and helping him to be a good father to his kids. He went through his own father's mental illness (they are both bipolar) and drug addiction. You would think he would try to have made better choices and not do drugs.
Unfortunately, he can't be trusted to take his meds (took every pill in his apt. As a suicide bid, luckily unsuccessful) and his mom is really pushing for electro-shock. His father went through it and a friend of mine recently has gone through it as well. Not sure it helped him with much except long periods of memory loss he still hasn't regained.
Mental health care is awful in this town, unfortunately. Too much focus on doping people up with pills and not treating the underlying conditions. He was suffering from fatigue and instead of trying to figure out why he was so fatigued, a therapist/doctor/PA?? put him on adderal. Not the best solution for a recently sober meth addict. He went through 85 in 12 days which sparked the manic episode prior to this crash.
If you or a loved one battles mental illness, my thoughts and prayers go out to you. It really is hell on a family (and the individual).
I just hope and pray he can get well and will realize his life is worth living for those precious kids we have - and I hope they are not damaged in the process. The divorce still is rough on them, especially the older one. They know daddy is "sick" on some level, but they are just kids. They know that during the week he was supposed to have them he wouldn't get out of bed and mommy had to come get them. They want his love and affection. I want them happy and safe.
Anyway, this is getting mighty long. Thank you again for the advice and kind words. I needed some advice and to vent for a second. Take care.
#7 Jul 8, 2013
I would definitely agree that the quality of the mental healthcare available in Evansville is not that great. If you believe that he needs more help than what he will receive I suggest that you, him, or his family check out the Samaritan Center in Vincennes. They have a mental health unit there at Good Samaritan Hospital and their psychologist are wonderful. If a person truly desires help rather than finding another way to get high they will really benefit from a brief stay there.
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