White women doing black hair....

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Uppity

United States

#1 Aug 8, 2012
I was in the salon a while ago, and a white women came in with her daughter. The woman was white with typical blonde hair, but her daughter was biracial and had thick, kinky hair. She went up to my hair dresser (the only black stylist in there), and said, "I'm at my wits end! I don't know WHAT to do with her hair, it just won't stay flat and everytime I try to use my styling products on it, it just gets worse!" My stylist tried to explain to her about perms, oils and sheens, but the lady said, "I don't know how to use all that stuff, can't YOU do something?" My stylist said should could, but it would only be a temporray solution. It was obvious the lady meant well...but even Stevie Wonder could have seen she was completely clueless.

The girl was a very pretty girl, she was about twelve, had light brown eyes and you could already tell she was going to be a gorgeous woman...but her hair was a hot mess, all over her head like Don King.

I've noticed that white women with biracial children seem to have a hard time with their children's hair. They either cut it off (like it's a plague), or just let the children run around nappy as ever. Has anyone noticed this?

I think interracial couples are beautiful, a true tesiment to how far we've come in this country as far as racism...but I think white women who marry black men should learn how to do black hair as soon as they find out they're pregnant!
Monique

United States

#2 Aug 8, 2012
ITA!

We black women defeat ourselves in making black child hair "manageable" by relaxing , coloring, and using "kiddie" perms. This is bull. I agree that having a mixed child should force a mother to do the research on hair care, but thats with any child for that matter.

I dont see anything wrong with the mother taking the child to a hair care stylist but it seems as though she wanted a quick fix instead of taking the time to look it over and do the basics, wash, condition, moisterize , and a last, pony tails...

The mother sounds lazy and content with her own ignorance as to throw HER child off on someone who clearly had little knowledge of hair care period. I say this becasue I belive that knowledge of hair processes ad growth is knowledge of hair period! That excludes any colorline. Sure, our texture is different, sure we benefit from different processes, but any stylist should know that breakage defense and maintenance is mainly universal.
Yes

Oswego, IL

#3 Aug 8, 2012
I tOtally agree! I am a white woman with a biracial child but I know how to take care of my child's hair. These women are being lazy for the most part. If nothin else, they need to learn how to properly care for their child's hair even if they can't style it. Of course, if they can learn to style their own, the surely can learn to style the children's hair too! Our children should be a better representation of ourselves.
Mizzez

Evansville, IN

#4 Aug 8, 2012
I have a little girl in my neighborhood who is bi-racial. Her mother is white and has no clue what to do with the child's hair. I think someone corn rowed it once and put beads in it. And the mother was saying how she hated those beads because it was "too much" but her daughter loved them. I'm like it was a great step above that "straightening" with the blowdryer job she would do because she didn't like the child's naturally curly hair. Everytime I see the little girl I just look at the frizzy wooly-mammoth hair on her head because the mother refuses to act like the child has some black in her.
Ly4er

United States

#5 Aug 8, 2012
We're too hard on white women with black kids.

Hell, black women ain't doing their child's heads no justic either. Shoot, WE all can afford to learn better hair care tips.

*mumbles and grumbles* Black women got their children walking around with weaves and relaxers at 2-3 years old!
NeNe

Evansville, IN

#6 Aug 8, 2012
I can understand their pain. White women are always stopping me in Sally's and that Korean BSS on Covert about, What they should do about there kids hair.
princess

Evansville, IN

#7 Aug 8, 2012
i wish black mothers were more like that lady.
I saw a 4 year old with a relaxer yesterday. the poor baby hardly had any hair left but it was in a million pony tails and her scalp was screaming for air. ugh. that child only needs some suave humectant water a denman 3 brush and two ponytails and she's set.
My 2 cents

United States

#8 Aug 8, 2012
it's true, a lot of black women are just as clueless about how to properly maintain black hair. but i DO get frustrated when i see biracial children with non-black mothers who often refuse to admit their child has kinkier hair and needs different care/maintenance than the average white person.

but it's not just white women with biracial children who have that attitude...there is a black woman at my church who is married to a mexican man. they have two daughters together and both of these girls have really long hair and it's very soft. however, it's really kinky, as well. it's not straight like a mexican or white person's hair. and it's very dry. they need some sort of moisture added to their hair and some further "black" maintenance.

but their mother just lets them walk around with this wild hair like they are cave women. someone at church asked her if she thought about perming or flat ironing their hair or SOMETHING and she was outraged and said, "NO! they don't have black hair! they are mixed!" biznatch. she's so clueless.
Dev

Evansville, IN

#9 Aug 8, 2012
Ly4er wrote:
We're too hard on white women with black kids.
Hell, black women ain't doing their child's heads no justic either. Shoot, WE all can afford to learn better hair care tips.
*mumbles and grumbles* Black women got their children walking around with weaves and relaxers at 2-3 years old!
I agree my good friend was mixed, her white mama knew what was up. Her husband and his family gave her some tips on how to keep her kids from looking tore back. 2 of her 3 kids had kinky hair so she ALWAYS hooked them up. Nothing elaborate but always nice. The kids whose white mom has done their hair similar to theirs, often experience hair loss when they switch to a more "black" regime. Hair does what it is trained to do. PERIOD.
Yes some black mothers need schooling too, you can't do to your 4 year old that you do to your overprocessed badly damaged mane. I HATE seeing that. I have seen a 3 year old with a glue in weave, and a 6 month old with dookie braids... UNACCEPTABLE!!!
Smh

United States

#10 Aug 8, 2012
princess wrote:
i wish black mothers were more like that lady.
I saw a 4 year old with a relaxer yesterday. the poor baby hardly had any hair left but it was in a million pony tails and her scalp was screaming for air. ugh. that child only needs some suave humectant water a denman 3 brush and two ponytails and she's set.
See this kills me, I don't even have any kids and I already have their regimiens planned out, products and all!
idk

Evansville, IN

#12 Aug 9, 2012
i have 3 bi-racial daughters all with different texture of hair, i learned how to do hair before my 1st child was born . If the mother (white or black) cannot do the childs hair she shld @ least learn the basics on hair care so that the child doesnt have to endure the embarrasment or pain from not getting it done. I have done other kids' hair other than my own and its much easier to manage if proper care was started early in life . My girls have such different hair from course to wavy but all 3 have VERY healthy hair that is long and doesnt "break off " . I dont use any relaxers or chemicals nor excessive heat . If the mother is just too lazy or just doesnt know how then she shld take the child to a professional . I see alot of this and my thing is if you cannot do the hair thn be prepaired to pay someone , bc they knew good & well that child wld more than likely have curly , wavey , or course hair.
Forum security

Washington, IN

#13 Aug 9, 2012
Folks we got a problem I'm turning this topic over to the investigations office. Due to possible race issues.
idk

United States

#15 Aug 9, 2012
My daughter is mixed I white and I can do her hair just fine, something that I have found that works good for when I wash her hair is suave smoothers and the detangler spray, it makes her hair very soft and shiny ,and has looked much healthier and easier to manage, my baby has an afro lol , I would say she has more black than white hair, I do not use relaxers, perms and all that other bs......i use simply the smoothers, detangler, and a little bit of coconut oil if I braid it, or softee gel if im just haveing her wair a ponytail. If you cant braid then you deff need to learn how, dnt send your kids round looking a mess there are plenty of people that will braid hair outside of a shop for 10 -15 bucks ....biracial children r beautiful let them show it!!!!!!
Krissie

United States

#16 Aug 13, 2012
I don't see anything wrong with the mother taking her daughter to a hair salon that is suitable for her hair type....at least the white mother made some sense by taking her black child to a salon. Did you know that white women also get a perm in their hair too? Yes, I walked pass a white hair salon numerous of times and have seen white customers getting perm in their hair. The hair may not as kinky as ours but I assumed their hair wasn't that managable.

You also mention that white mothers with biracial children should know first hand what to do with their kid's hair...girl, us black folks don't know what to do with our hair half of the time, so we head to the salon and the mother of the biracial child did just that.
wow

United States

#17 Aug 14, 2012
Thats dumb, "race issues"...thus is one of the few forums that mentions race in a non hurtful or discriminating way. It seems like this thread based on racial matters is helping people communicate in a healthy way regaurding parenting matters...not skin color.
advice

United States

#18 Aug 14, 2012
tell her to go here... www.naturallycurly.com and try the mixed chicks product line..

Since: Jan 12

Western Hemisphere

#19 Aug 14, 2012
We may as well face it, there isn't much one can do with "black hair". Just keep it short and as neat as possible. Don't try to straighten it, that only makes it stiff, then you have to put greasy stuff on it, or it breaks off. Don't perm it, because it's already frizzy. Maybe add some black hair coloring, because most of it has a reddish, dirty, off color tinge to it that is unbecoming. The adult black woman should consider a wig, since her hair will always be more trouble than it's really worth taking time to fix. Wigs aren't as much trouble as you think. I learned a lot of this from working with some of these people believe me, their hair is a challenge! I wouldn't want to have that kind of hair and I don't mean this to be rude, but I'm just so thankful that I'm Caucasian. But I do sympathize with what they go through.
Star*Child

Bowling Green, KY

#20 Aug 14, 2012
Every black person's hair is different. From a really fine straight texture, then there's the medium texture very curly & thick, lastly there is the hard to tame course hair which is often over processed ( dirty red color) it is usually best left in its natural state in Bantu twists, and or other natural styles. And this texture of hair grows. Usually any texture can grow on average to or below the persons shoulders. But that is with proper care an minimum exposure to excessive chemical services. Oh I love my "Black" hair !!! Different styles people can't keep up. I love it when people think my hair is fake.. It's all mine though:)
Ruby Dawson

Temple, TX

#22 Aug 14, 2012
I told my daughter when she went in the hair business to be careful not to get lice when working on them. It can be a real health problem.
Star*Child

United States

#23 Aug 14, 2012
Who has lice???

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