When does hitting become child abuse?

Full story: NewsTimes.com 77
But just because you have the right, does that make it right? "It may stop a behavior instantly, but it has no lasting value," said Dr. Full Story
Range1000BC

Sydney, Australia

#45 Feb 4, 2009
People that advocate pain to drilling in the message are all old school. I can say that it's refreshing for me to know that they're all going to finally be replaced by the new generation called the generation Y. I bet my lucky stars that schools will never bring in the cane again and no child will ever have to be fearful of it. I heard that experience is the greatest teacher.

Resorting to belts (and other torture devices you can get creative with) doesn't set all of them straight. You know, the most favoured form of government these days is called a DEMOCRACY, folks.
Give It a Rest

Danbury, CT

#46 Feb 4, 2009
BeatKid wrote:
Last year over 1000 children were murdered by their caregivers in the US. Two-thirds of these child abuse deaths were the direct result of excessive corporal punishment, and three-quarters of the victims were younger than age five.
The foundations of parental spanking rights are piles of dead babies and toddlers, which promoters of physical punishment dismiss with the words, "These are not my children."
Children have been spanked since the beginning of time and the vast majority of them survive just fine.

I was raised in an abusive home. I'm talking lacerations, bone fractures, split skulls and one of us being knocked unconscious for four days straight. That none of us was killed was truly miraculous. This is clearly abuse.

I also raised two daughters. The older of the two pushed every button, tested every limit and was fiercely independent from the day she was born. She was spanked several times when she was young. For hitting her younger sister with a stout branch. Lighting matches and almost burning down our house, then lying and blaming her sister for it. These weren't uncontrolled bouts of temper on my part. I would take her by her little hand, bring her into my bedroom and close the door, all the while calmly explaining what she had done wrong, why it was wrong and how sorry I was to have to do this. I doubt I ever left so much as a hand print. This is not abuse.

As she grew to a teenager, she was too old to spank. Still independent, she was admittedly a problem child. Mouthing off to teachers at school, skipping school, talking to her father and I as though we were a smelly subtance stuck to the bottom of her shoe. When she was a high school senior, she was suspended. When I brought her home and tried to discuss what had happened, I got her usual mouth, shouting and then a temper tantrum on her part, slamming her bedroom door so hard it broke. For all the years that I dealt with this difficult child, I was scared to death of becoming my own parents, but that day, when I went into her room after she broke her door, then started yelling more insults at me, I backhanded her right across the mouth. Shocked silence ensued, and I told her, then and there, that I'd had about enough of her attitude and her mouth and that if she ever spoke to me like that again, the same thing would happen. All I can say is that I wish I'd done that when she was thirteen instead of eighteen. It would have saved us both a lot of aggravation. She didn't turn into an angel, but she calmed down dramatically.

The vast majority of people my age (mid forties) were spanked growing up. Only myself and one other person I know was abused as I was. One has nothing to do with the other.
Hey Dumbo

Lebanon, CT

#47 Feb 5, 2009
For all those that are in favor of hitting children,I have just 2 words:

Menendez Brothers
Give It a Rest

Danbury, CT

#48 Feb 5, 2009
Hey Dumbo wrote:
For all those that are in favor of hitting children,I have just 2 words:
Menendez Brothers
What? That your useless, spoiled rotten kids will kill you to get your money?
Lakeville

United States

#49 Feb 6, 2009
Hey Dumbo wrote:
For all those that are in favor of hitting children,I have just 2 words:
Menendez Brothers
I bet when the racists on here beat their kids they call them "illegals".
ScarredForLife

Eagle Point, OR

#50 Mar 5, 2009
Talk to the Hand wrote:
An occasional backhand never hurt anyone. Get over it.
That's absurd! I am 18-years-old and my father slaps my when he is mad. It does hurt. I am now afraid of my father and unable to commuicate freely with him because I am too afraid that he will get mad at me. Two days ago he was talking to me and raised his hand to wipe his nose. My entire body tensed because I thought he was going to hit me. I am now afraid of many people who are larger than me (I am a 5'3", 120 lbs girl so there are A LOT of people bigger than me). So if you tell me that a person isn't hurt by a background, then apparently you know very little about being hit.
Cindi

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#54 May 22, 2009
I am not against spanking but abuse is wrong. I think it's abuse if you leave a bruise or cause bleeding. Also hitting with something hard like a belt buckle. And you should only spank them on the bottom. Hitting a child's head or genitals is abuse.
Halo

Orlando, FL

#55 Sep 30, 2009
Considering parents and teachers are responsible for raising and teaching children. They ought to know that every single action they make and words that they say will have some sort of negative or positive impact on a child. My mom beat me all the time when I was younger out of anger, not love. I never realized how much she messed up my self esteem and now because of it I have depression and anger issues. No child deserves to be beaten for something he or she does wrong. Why not use logic instead and talk to your children and evaluate why and come up with a punishment such as taking away privaledges?
Dave Robertson

Irmo, SC

#56 Sep 30, 2009
Back when everybody used to smack their kids and "hurt feelings" weren't a concern, the kids didn't shoot up the schools, teen pregnancy was shameful, and dropping out was a tragedy. The scariest worst thing a kid could hear was, "Wait until your father gets home!" Families ate dinner together every night.

Some call what we have today "progress". I suppose it's all in how you look at it.
smack it harder

Danbury, CT

#57 Sep 30, 2009
Dave Robertson wrote:
Back when everybody used to smack their kids and "hurt feelings" weren't a concern, the kids didn't shoot up the schools, teen pregnancy was shameful, and dropping out was a tragedy. The scariest worst thing a kid could hear was, "Wait until your father gets home!" Families ate dinner together every night.
Some call what we have today "progress". I suppose it's all in how you look at it.
"Good old days"...another myth used by historical revisionists to promote a value system that only existed in their own minds.
Dave Robertson

Irmo, SC

#58 Sep 30, 2009
smack it harder wrote:
<quoted text>
"Good old days"...another myth used by historical revisionists to promote a value system that only existed in their own minds.
"Historical revisionists".....ha. Kettle, meet Pot. You're black.
smack it harder

Danbury, CT

#59 Sep 30, 2009
Dave Robertson wrote:
"Historical revisionists".....ha. Kettle, meet Pot. You're black.
You used that metaphor two days ago when you were stuck without a reply then, too.

I'll give you a few of my favorite examples of "the good 'ol days"...let' see how many you don't have to Google:

albert fish, leopold & loeb, jean sebring driven to suicide by J Edgar Hoover, Charles Whitman, the Mai Lai Massacre, "The Veterans Of Future Wars", hubert selby jr., johnny ace...

I'll check back later and see how you're doin'...
Dodd to get JOBS

United States

#60 Sep 30, 2009
White trash love hitting their kids. Their reason? Their daddy did it to them HARDER.
Dave Robertson

Irmo, SC

#61 Sep 30, 2009
smack it harder wrote:
<quoted text>
You used that metaphor two days ago when you were stuck without a reply then, too.
I'll give you a few of my favorite examples of "the good 'ol days"...let' see how many you don't have to Google:
albert fish, leopold & loeb, jean sebring driven to suicide by J Edgar Hoover, Charles Whitman, the Mai Lai Massacre, "The Veterans Of Future Wars", hubert selby jr., johnny ace...
I'll check back later and see how you're doin'...
I wasn't stuck without a reply. I gave you a reply, and it was quite fitting.

Here's my list of the good old days:

No Social Security,
No Medicare/Medicaid,
No Personal Federal Income Tax,
No National Firearms Act,
No Gun Control Act,
The American Dollar was backed by gold,
American coins were plated in real silver,
Our highways weren't falling apart,
Our kids didn't shoot up the schools,
There was no such thing as a crackhead,
Illegals were barely a blip on the radar,
Church wasn't a bad thing (except for those damn Catholic priests),
Supporting Israel was a noble cause,
Hating communism was patriotic,
Trucks had solid axles and didn't come with leather seats,
Performance cars had V-8 engines and didn't sound like weedwackers,
And the people we have in charge today would have been laughed at and dismissed for their stupidity, or prosecuted and imprisoned for their crimes against the taxpayers.

I'd love to see the good old days come back.
katie

Cabin Creek, WV

#62 Oct 26, 2009
my aunt is slapping me in the face everytime shes mad even when shes not mad at me what can i do?
Wow

Pompano Beach, FL

#63 Oct 26, 2009
Dave Robertson wrote:
<quoted text>
I wasn't stuck without a reply. I gave you a reply, and it was quite fitting.
Here's my list of the good old days:
No Social Security,
No Medicare/Medicaid,
No Personal Federal Income Tax,
No National Firearms Act,
No Gun Control Act,
The American Dollar was backed by gold,
American coins were plated in real silver,
Our highways weren't falling apart,
Our kids didn't shoot up the schools,
There was no such thing as a crackhead,
Illegals were barely a blip on the radar,
Church wasn't a bad thing (except for those damn Catholic priests),
Supporting Israel was a noble cause,
Hating communism was patriotic,
Trucks had solid axles and didn't come with leather seats,
Performance cars had V-8 engines and didn't sound like weedwackers,
And the people we have in charge today would have been laughed at and dismissed for their stupidity, or prosecuted and imprisoned for their crimes against the taxpayers.
I'd love to see the good old days come back.
Dave, Dave, Dave,

Your pseudo-intellectualism has been exposed...

In order for your fantasic version of the good ole days to exist, you would have to go back in time to before 1913, when the 16th Amendment was ratified. Now you can't have your muscle car there, and the only axle would likely be on your carriage, unless you were wealthy, but of course you would be - it's your fantasy! Now you wouldn't have any radar or highways that crumble. You would have opium addicts instead of crackheads. And I am sure that it would suit you fine that the elderly, infirm or disabled would just allowed to starve &/or die, as God intended it (No SS. Medicare or Medicaid). Oh, and women couldn't vote! Sounds ideal!

So, my dear....um, wow.

When you reveal your personal anecdotes and feelings you only embarass yourself. Stick to the arrogant, know-it-all persona - it is much more palatable and congruent with your opinions.
Child Beating Machine

El Dorado, AR

#68 Oct 26, 2009
I tell ya what. Put some grapefruits in a sock and you can beat your kid all day long and no bruises or embarrassing calls from the school.
Dave Robertson

Irmo, SC

#70 Oct 27, 2009
Wow wrote:
<quoted text>
Dave, Dave, Dave,
Your pseudo-intellectualism has been exposed...
In order for your fantasic version of the good ole days to exist, you would have to go back in time to before 1913, when the 16th Amendment was ratified. Now you can't have your muscle car there, and the only axle would likely be on your carriage, unless you were wealthy, but of course you would be - it's your fantasy! Now you wouldn't have any radar or highways that crumble. You would have opium addicts instead of crackheads. And I am sure that it would suit you fine that the elderly, infirm or disabled would just allowed to starve &/or die, as God intended it (No SS. Medicare or Medicaid). Oh, and women couldn't vote! Sounds ideal!
So, my dear....um, wow.
When you reveal your personal anecdotes and feelings you only embarass yourself. Stick to the arrogant, know-it-all persona - it is much more palatable and congruent with your opinions.
It seems you aren't capable of grasping the idea that "the good old days" weren't limited to a specific decade. Every decade of every century of recorded history has it's good points and bad points. I listed the good points from the past century.

You don't really believe that I was suggesting that muscle cars and crack existed prior to the ratification of the 16th Amendment, do you?
Optimist

Ridgefield, CT

#75 Oct 28, 2009
While it may never be completely stopped - I am glad to live in an era when child abuse is illegal, reporting is required by teachers, nurses, police, etc. and aid is provided to the victims. Its still much tougher outside the developed world - that is our challenge.

Thank heavens for the good, new days!
Duh

United States

#77 Nov 4, 2009
I don't think it's right to hit a child in the face for any reason. I don't care if he/she called you a mother F*&%^)G piece of S*%T. I do however think that if the child is being incredibly outrageous a tiny smack on the bum won't kill them. But, Personally i am more partial to the timeout than anything. I think if you make them sit and do nothing for a few minutes they calm down and it's easier to talk to and reason with them. I don't understand how parents can be so violent with their children sometimes when i look at my daughters face i couldn't imagine causing her pain. Especially when were supposed to be the ones protecting them.

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