ex wives who are vindictive

[dix cov]

I have married a man who has an ex wife who lives in dalas. From the beginning (six years) has continually tried to put the kids up to breaking us up. They have been divorced for 23+ years. He got custody of the four children right away. She was uneducated, cruel and did not care about anything but herself. When we got married, she had her youngest daughter (16) at the time to call me and tell me all the dirt and trash. He had already told me most of it. I told Cathy I did not want to hear all of the past dragged up. She kept on calling when they would visit us, Cathy would call her from my house and would talk nasty.(Like she had trouble putting her jeans on, because she had just had sex with her husband and her jeans were sticking to her legs (hello! has she not heard of washing? At Christmas she was talking to Cathy and judy and her sister Karen were saying things to Cathy for her to say to my husband. I resented this and told them to stop. They would bring a presant and say their mother helped them with it, just to bring her name up. Judy was always sending messages to Vince through the kids. My husband said he did not care what she said, but her name was always brought up.When I gave my husband a birthday party, she made sure to tell them how she remembered whne they were married how much fun their parties were. She showed up at my husbands work late one night. At our grand daughters kindergarten graduation she made sure to stick her fat butt right in our face as she was going down the same row we were sitting in. When Tiffys' name was called she let out some kind of redneck yell, everyone turned to look at her and Tiffy was gone before we turned back around. She had her son carry her down the isle at her oldest daughters wedding before Dianne could walk down. She is the most narcitiscus woman I have ever seen. She waited till I walked away from my husband for a feww seconds to go running up to him. She was standing there with her hands on her hips (Big Ones) trying to flirt with him. As soon as I started walking back she took off.These are only a few of the things she has done. I had nothing against this woman until she started doing this. How can we make her stop butting in everytime we all have to attend a family function. Her own daughter told me she drives a school bus. Well, she drinks like a fish on Sunday and drives the children on Monday. I thought about reporting her, but I will probably seem like I am trying to get her in trouble. None of the kids are talking to us now (our choice). What can we do, besides cut the kids out of our life (as we have already done?

[jjj]

You haven't met my husbands's ex-wife.

[dix cov]

jjj wrote:

You haven't met my husbands's ex-wife.

i am so glad to hear i am not alone in having to deal with my husbands ex wife. why do they do this? she has remarried a couple of times. why does she have to try to break us up? she gets her claws into us everytime we try to participate in our grandchildrens life, or my husbands children. everything is good for awhile, then she starts in with the messages or tries to pull my husband into conversations over the phone when the kids call her from my house. she turns evrything into sexual innuendoes. i have done nothing to this woman. my husband has made it very clear he does not want to talk with her. does anyone have any suggestions that has helped them in dealing with their own exwife from hell?

[new wife in town]

I'm married to a wonderfully sweet passive guy. The ex put him in jail for spanking the 3 year old on the behind. The police could not even believe the whole thing and refused to arrest him. She made a citizens arrest. So after 2 years of marriage and an unbelievable amount of child and spousal support he is back in court again. Apparently in the state of CA you can keep sueing for more and more. No wonder there are dead beat dads... WE can't pay our bills and live normal. She is allowed to keep this up until all the kids are over 18. He loves his kids and pays all he can. WHY is there no justice for the dads in this country???

[DLP]

Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn!

[protective_mom]

I am glad to hear there are other psycho ex wives out there. I got crimevictimsforum.com to add a new section to their post and it's vindictive spouses. Please list your stories there so, everyone can see how many nuts are out there. Lisa

dix cov wrote:

<quoted text> i am so glad to hear i am not alone in having to deal with my husbands ex wife. why do they do this? she has remarried a couple of times. why does she have to try to break us up? she gets her claws into us everytime we try to participate in our grandchildrens life, or my husbands children. everything is good for awhile, then she starts in with the messages or tries to pull my husband into conversations over the phone when the kids call her from my house. she turns evrything into sexual innuendoes. i have done nothing to this woman. my husband has made it very clear he does not want to talk with her. does anyone have any suggestions that has helped them in dealing with their own exwife from hell?

[concerned stepparent]

thanks for all the replys to my problems with my husbands ex-wife. The latest is his oldest daughter called and asked for money, so she could buy her mother a mothers day presant. This spoiled brat is 29 years old. She is constantly asking for money. Her lazy husband has not worked consistantly in the eight years we have been married. There is always some drama about what is happening in their life. She uses our grandchildren as a pawn to try to get money. We have given them so much, I cant remember the amounts anymore. Vince told her no. She called again in a couple of days and asked for more money!! We told her no again. She thinks if she keeps asking we will wear down. Her mother is putting her up to this. It is like "mama doesnt make much money and her husband is very low on the pay scale. That is not our problem. The ex destroyed all of my husbands military documents, rewards and commendations. He was highly decorated and these meant alot to him. So she goes and destroyed them. Well, we got one over her. Vince contacted the army and explained what she had done, so they sent us a complete package of all the decorations and medals he had received. That will really get her crawl. She is so stupid that she doesnt realize destroying documents like that is against the law as well as being immoral. There is going to be an investigation, and I hope they put her under the jail (I know that wont happen, but I could wish) She is one vindictive bitch and I dont think she will ever let up. At least we have this blog to vent our frustations. What really hurts is the way she has turned the kids against their father. She told them the only reason that my husband got custody of all four children was so he would not have to pay child support. The real reason is she is not able to keep herself clean long enough to take care of her own self. What judge would give a man custody of four children ranging in age from six months to seven years old unless there was a very good reason. She is not a good mother and everyone saw that. Her own mother came to court drunk. This is the kind of home she wanted to bring them up in! Ha!All this happened over twentysen years ago, and the torture has never let up. Everytime he sees her she talks about wanting to get back together. Hello!! Its been twentyseven years, you would think she would give up. Again thanks for listening.

[GoodOldRebel]

Howdy, Concerned Stepparent...
I'm very sorry to hear the situation is so terrible. I have a buddy with a terrible ex-wife that is like the one you describe.. and also about $50,000 behind in child support for the kids. He's reported her several times, to the tune of $20 each time, for the CSEA to do absolutely nothing.
She had him put in prison for slapping her eldest daughter for back talking. Still... she was such a terrible mother, he won custody of his two kids even with a felony for cruelty to children.
She also helped his eldest daughter to obtain alcohol, hide crimes she had committed and received court dates for, sleep around with boys, and finally the icing on the cake - she signed the papers to let the girl drop out of school. It only takes one parents signature and it doesn't matter if it is the custodial parent or not. Luckily for him and his other daughter, the woman doesn't show much interest in helping the other daughter to ruin her life like big sis. Although, that was a big struggle as well.
The determining factor in this situation is the step mom.. the woman he remarried two years after his divorce. She did go through hell trying to get those kids to learn to follow rules, and behave like decent people.. and as you read, the oldest never could do it.. but, the younger one is gonna graduate from high school and has plans for college education. She's a great kid and after trying desparately to run away to her mom a few years back (which included false accusations of child molestation.. yeah, she admitted it was false after a thorough investigation by the police)she has turned her whole life around. Probably cause the "mom" doesn't even bother to call her, stop by, or pay her court ordered child support.
The oldest kid refuses to talk to them, now and has moved out since getting her mom to drop her out of school.
I really don't know what to tell you about this.... except never give up. My buddy's wife was so stressed out, threatened with false accusations for years.. she was so afraid she'd lose her own two children over lies told by this lady and the kids.. but, she never gave up and finally they all seem like a great family. Of course, that would never have happened if the "mom" hadn't finally bowed out and if the step mom hadn't firmly stood her ground, with her head held high and behaving like a true Christian woman would.

Best of luck to you, my only advice is never to give up hope.. never give up.. don't let the ridiculous antics cause you pain and anguish. She is not trying to "get back together" with her husband. She's trying to push YOUR buttons. Just shake it off, and realize that she's been wasting her life for 27 years while you've been doing your damnedest to hold things together and live in REALITY.

[GoodOldRebel]

*excuse me, not trying to "get back together" with YOUR husband.. bad error there.

[GoodOldRebel]

new wife in town wrote:

I'm married to a wonderfully sweet passive guy. The ex put him in jail for spanking the 3 year old on the behind. The police could not even believe the whole thing and refused to arrest him. She made a citizens arrest. So after 2 years of marriage and an unbelievable amount of child and spousal support he is back in court again. Apparently in the state of CA you can keep sueing for more and more. No wonder there are dead beat dads... WE can't pay our bills and live normal. She is allowed to keep this up until all the kids are over 18. He loves his kids and pays all he can. WHY is there no justice for the dads in this country???

I believe dads really are at a disadvantage when it comes to justice in the courts. It's partly because of all the family violence, domestic abuse laws that are in place to protect women from men. Those laws don't really serve justice for dads because women retaliate, get revenge, etc in different ways than men. Men get angry, they tend to get physical.. or get loud.. and aggressive. Women get angry and they make attempts to provoke men into getting physical, loud and aggressive so they can exaggerate, and lie their way through courts until the man is punished for reacting to provocation. Unfortunate, but.. women are smart and work "undercover," pretending to be an innocent victim when in reality, they know they have the power to push a man over the edge and they know exactly how to use that power in their favor.

[concerned stepparent]

thanks for your replys to my problem with my husbands ex. It really helps to know that there are people who are having to go through the same things I am going through.The really bad part is the hurt I see in my husbands eyes when they call, and all they want is to relay messages that their mother (i use the word lightly). I know she knows what buttons to push and when to do it. I really try not to take it personaly, but when the youngest daughter (23) made the comment that she would and could break us up, she had caused him to break up with several other women in his life before, and she would do it again. My husband is the best man I have ever known and the most generous. I have thought about getting my own revenge by reporting her to her supervisor about her drinking on sundays and driving a busload of young children on monday. Her own daughter told me this one day when she was over here and was talking to her mother on the phone. Cathy thouught it was funny, but I made the comment,"do you really think she should drink on sunday and drive kids on monday?
She said "Oh she knows when to quit." This woman is 44 or 45 and wears teenage clothes so tight you can see her cellulite through the jeans. She thinks her hair is pretty. It is so long it almost goes to her waist, but it is all thin and stringy and nasty looking. But she always says something about how long and pretty it is. Dianne (the oldest daughter always asks her dad if he has noticed how long the mothers hair is. I have said we dont care! We are not friends with her and could care less how she looks, but it is always brought up. Vince tells her everytime we dont want to hear about what is going on in Judys life, bit htey ignore us and always brings it up in some way. When she is in town (dallas ga ) this is a very small town and she always talks about vince like he is still her husband and never talks about her presant husband. She lives in the past and still wants people to think she is attached to him. Maybe there is a little bit of jealousy, but not in the way of being worried about Vince wanting her. Frankly I dont know what he ever saw in her other than she was an easy piece, then got pregnant and her parents threatned him either marry her or he would go to jail. He was only 16 himself and very unaware of the laws back then. The first week he cheated on her as well as she cheated on him. We are not sure that the kids are really his, but he does love them. He was trapped into this marriage and had no options, so he joined the army.I know I am rambling, but it feels good to finally be able to speak about what a whoare she is and was. She has always used the kids as a way to see him and try to get back with him. He now makes very good money and she still wants a piece of it.I can honestly say I have never hated anyone as much as I hate her. I would like some good ideas for revenge (legally) to get this woman back for all the pain she has caused me. Any ideasout there? I know I should not waste my time on her, but enough is enough and I want to humiliate her as she has done me.

[inky]

On this subject(sort of)...I am trying to located my nephews' father, long divorced from their mother but the boys wish to re-establish some kind of relationship with him.

Last known residence was in Kennesaw. Would anyone there be willing to do a telephone book search for me?

[GoodOldRebel]

concerned stepparent wrote:

I would like some good ideas for revenge (legally) to get this woman back for all the pain she has caused me. Any ideasout there? I know I should not waste my time on her, but enough is enough and I want to humiliate her as she has done me.

Don't waste your time..... everything you have said about her brings me to the conclusion that she's pretty much nothing but a humiliation to herself. You cannot get revenge on soulsuckin' scumbags. How can you humiliate someone that you describe to be a total embarassment to herself? You can't. You can't humiliate someone like this, you can't embarass them... they're messed up.

Look, instead of concentrating on what you can do to her... how 'bout what can you do for yourself and your husband? The kids who continue to have such disrespectful attitudes toward their father's wife need to be shut out for a while. You deserve a break. The kids are grown? Shut them out.. they can handle the world on their own for a while, They're adults now.. there's nothing to feel guilty about for enjoying the fact that they're out on their own. Celebrate, enjoy each other.. have fun, relax.. stop thinking about her. Think about your husband, spend time with him and don't go to any family functions for a while... if they want to talk bad about you behind your back while you're enjoying yourself. So, what? But, you need a break. Plotting revenge is always a sign that you need to take yourself out of the equation, immediately. Taking revenge on people can only bring unhappiness to you. Revenge is not a good thing.. even if it's just humiliating someone. Revenge will only escalate the problem. I am dead serious. You would be better off to just tell your husband how you feel and that after all these years, you two need to shut your doors to these people for a while.. not answer their calls... take a break. Family relationships are the hardest ones.. and yet, people feel guilty or like they are missing something when they need time away. If you don't get some rest from this battle, you will be your own worst enemy..

[VlvtHmr44]

concerned stepparent wrote:

thanks for your replys to my problem with my husbands ex. It really helps to know that there are people who are having to go through the same things I am going through..... Any ideasout there? I know I should not waste my time on her, but enough is enough and I want to humiliate her as she has done me.

****Hi...to save some space I saved only the top & bottom.....but, I read every bit of your story...my background is that I am an Ex-wife...but I completely leave my Ex alone...we also have a teenage daughter, that he occasionally calls..."But I am also a "New wife" to another second timer, that has the ex-wife from hell.... that like you explained..uses the kids, calls, acts like she is still apart of everything....etc.etc... I think what the other person above said as far as getting away from everyone..."Good Idea"....I believe in firm action... If there are no consequences..there is no reason to discontinue the bad behavior...just like a child.....what has continually worked for me with my ex & is what I'm suggesting to my new husband is when they act this way....let them know you will be telling as many people as you can...(Including the legal system if need be)...about their actions and behavior.....as long as it is the absolute truth how can they get mad....Right..? But they will get mad....because most of these types usually do not want many to know who they really are & the ridiculous things they do...! And, here's an idea....I'm not sure if it's legal...but print some flyers & pass it out to all her neighbors, friends & co-workers when she acts this way....just think of the support "You'll" receive & the looks & stares plus embarrassment "She'll" receive....and if your consistant & let her know that these actions are not acceptable and will only gain consequences for her everytime....it shouldn't last very much longer....I wish you luck...Sincerely "From both sides of the coin"

[Eva]

I'm seeking stories about revenge for a book that I'm writing (I have a publisher). I'd love stories on getting revenge on an ex, lover, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, etc., long & short tales, crazy, funny, sad or sweet. In case your story works for my book, I'd love to contact you with more details. And I'm happy to keep your name anonymous if you prefer.

Please write me if you're interested and have a story to tell. You can email me at: [e-mail]

Thanks so much! eva
P.S. Please feel free to forward this -- thank you!!

[Daniele]

jjj wrote:

You haven't met my husbands's ex-wife.

First you need to learn to spell. You said she is uneducated but it looks like you are too. You have no idea what that woman is going through or how she feels. She is the mother of his children and he should respect that. Sounds like her fat butt is bothering you.

[NOB]

Daniele wrote:

<quoted text>First you need to learn to spell. You said she is uneducated but it looks like you are too. You have no idea what that woman is going through or how she feels. She is the mother of his children and he should respect that. Sounds like her fat butt is bothering you.

I think that there was or is no reson for you to be rud to this women. I am sure that when she was talking about his ex wife not being educated it was not ment in a bad way because if you think about what she said you can see it does not matter if the ex wife is well educated or not being a ex wife does not ask about your social status for example my husbands ex is special ed teacher and on top og that a marriage counslor or what ever you want to call it and her last marriage to another guy lasted for about three and a half month. There are always two sides of every story and even sometimes more sides specally when you are marraid to a man that has a one set of ex wife and a children on top of that. I have a story to share I am a mother of three and I don't live with there father we sepparated and I don't talk to him at all because I was told by his wife that I was not aloud to call there or her home like she said and when the boys talk to there father which does not happen very often she is talking in the back. You guys are going to hear more from me later

[Feedup]

I know there are thousands of women who are having this major problem, more than what’s written about or reported. They are very vindictive and pure evil and they do things that are hard to prove, sometimes illegal, and sometimes not illegal. My husband’s has the ex-wife from hell. To top it off, he has a child with another woman shortly after first wife. So he has two crazy women to deal with.

The ex-wife is the worst, she has in the past and present use the kids to try to have a close relationship with him and discuss things that have nothing to do with the kids. These are the examples: If he calls and let her know he is on the way to drop off the kids and he has to get some rest before driving out of town, and she says you can rest at my house; when ever the kids come to visit, she had her oldest child snitching on any little thing the child could tell her; every year she year she has a new fiancé and she discusses those conversations with her kids while they are visiting and at that time they were not even teenagers; she asked him why he was with me and why I was with him; she will talk about the kids then start talking about herself even if he says “I will talk to you guys later; she always puts negative thoughts in her kids head like “I don’t want her kids around.” She has even dressed inappropriate at pickups and advised him of her one-nighters. Whenever she sees me and she thinks I look better than her she gets mad and start causing him more trouble.
She has told him when the kids were small she was going to get him. She has accomplished that by lying to DHS and making him owe more than he should have because she received aide and at the time she made too much to qualify and they started the support form DOB. She lied so she could send her kids to private school. Both women told him, if you help with the kids financially and physically they would take him off. He did and know he owes back child support.
Its funny how they want more help know physically and need mental breaks from the kids. They are having pre-teen troubles. Boo hoo! I don’t feel sorry at all, know they want him to be there for moral support after they have sent him to jail back and forth for back child support like he never did anything for the kids. They have almost drove him to a nervous break down. The only time they call is about school or household problems, need more money, or babysitting. To them he is a not a father, he is a dumping ground, atm machine, and a babysitter.

The absolute worst part about the ex-wife is one of the children may not be his. We are going to do a paternity test, I don’t care how long it takes to find out. If this child is not his, she is going to get all this back on her for all the evil things she has done. We are not going to pay for a child that is not his. If the courts make pay anyway, we will not be able to provide moral or physical support. She will have to find the real father and worry him to death. People say focus on the kids, but you can’t if the mothers act crazy at pick up and drop off times and become upset or irate in person or over the phone, especially when its time to bring them back. I will be glad when they are grown, because they have made fatherhood and step-parenting an awful experience, since they have not moved on. I feel at this point his hands are tied.

This is some advice that may work, we have found out that the less contact we have with them, they better they act. It seems bad for the kids but, dealing with their moms will make you loose your sanity!

I will be glad to get some more advice.

[Feedup]

Daniele wrote:

<quoted text>First you need to learn to spell. You said she is uneducated but it looks like you are too. You have no idea what that woman is going through or how she feels. She is the mother of his children and he should respect that. Sounds like her fat butt is bothering you.

Are you an ex or an ex-wife? If you are not you would not have any idea. The ex-wives need to move on and that is the main problem. They still want to be with the father of their children and somehow wish that their marriage would have worked out. When they are not remarried or not dating anyone, they give the ex-husbands hell. They disrepect the 2nd wives with inappropiate conduct and conversations regulary. Then when the ex-husband is distant from the children, at that point the ex-wives act as though they have no clue why.

[NOB]

I know there are thousands of women who are having this major problem, more than what’s written about or reported. They are very vindictive and pure evil and they do things that are hard to prove, sometimes illegal, and sometimes not illegal. My husband’s has the ex-wife from hell. To top it off, he has a child with another woman shortly after first wife. So he has two crazy women to deal with.
I am so sure that the husband does not always tell us everything most of the time we get to hear the mean thing that the ex does but why are things like this why do they put up with this I do not understand why my husband could have spent our 1st aniversiry at her his ex house and then try to tell me that was the only way he could talk to his 19 years old son and I am suppose just to take that hell no. I can tell you one thing and that is it does not get any better when the kids get older my husband has 2 kids with his ex 1 girl she is going to be 18 this year and a boy that was 25 this year we never see him exept when there is something he is picking up xmas gifts or something like that. The girl o my God he is still intertaning her like takes her out to see a movies even though he has already told me that we dont have any money it always has to cost something or it is always at least over the winter once a week and now the summer is coming she is going to be here most of the time even though he harly ever takes us with him it is always the 2 of them and I AM SURE HER MOTHER HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THAT and if we take a trip this summer she is problably going to be there but how can he even think to blend the family then but not when they go to a movie like he always sais it is me and her time. more later but here is a web site I founf yesterday and I am going to download the book and will let you know how it is and here is the web site: http://www.thenextwife.com/
Look at this one I liked what is there