Posted in the Dade City Forum
#1 Jul 13, 2010
To all it may concern,
Alright, so perhaps at one point in my life I wasn't the best of a person. I had my fun when I was a teenager, ditching class and mingling amongst friends. I had my fair share of communicating alongside what society would dub as the 'wrong' groups of people. I was aloof when I was young, staying under the stability of parents whom were all successful and had the ability to keep my young tendencies alive without worrying about financial woes. I ate the best of meals, I had the best of times, and maybe I was that 'bad boy'.. that class clown that everyone whispered about.. the one where adults always said something along the lines of 'you're so smart, but you never push yourself'.. the one who never succeeded by choice.. the one that had no cares, no worries, no plans for futures..
Things started to undergo a metamorphosis once I was nearing an adult. While I had my fun, one by one, my friends began to veer off.. they all started to jump towards their futures; their futures as an adult. It took some time before I realized that I'd need to do the same, and that I'd need to overcome a great obstacle to mature into something better. I started by starting at a college! Nothing wrong with that; always a good choice for futures. Determined, I excelled with excellent grades. I finally listened to the wiser folks from once I was a child.. I really could be significantly successful if I merely placed my mind in the correct train of thought.
Economical mishaps occurred throughout the world and I came down with it. The family that took care of me couldn't even take care of themselves. School had to wait.. I needed employment to feed myself. A matter of excelling at life made a painful turnaround to a matter of surviving at life. Logically, it couldn't help that the area I live in has an outstandingly terrible opportunity for employment.
Things started to dawn upon me. My main method of transportation was by a parent member, in which the vehicle became stripped of a license plate since the parent could not afford to update the tags. I was limited down to travelling on foot or taking the bus. A property deal in another state became severely delayed for several reasons, and finances that could help us at this point were stifled to nothing. The main independent business of the household sunk to a depth of no return, and we began receiving financial aid from our elders, who weren't in the best of shape neither. The parent residing in this residence finally fell victim and paid for the misuse of the body. This member now suffers from a weakened heart and weakened kidneys, and Medicare has yet to contact back after several months of applying. This parent became depressed, seeing no motivation to try anything.. any further.
The weight on my shoulders was becoming heavier at such a rapid pace. My spirits were still up as I raced for employment. One by one, things were going wrong.. but I pushed on, seeing a light to pursue. There was a young sibling residing in the house, and I couldn't falter for the life of that sibling. For nearly a year, I would attempt to find employment.. all while the elders sold their antiquities and jewelry, and borrowed favors and loans from their long established friends. These elders pushed to their limits to help me and my family here.. they even lost some of their oldest friends whom they simply could not pay back.
#2 Jul 13, 2010
There was a spark of light however, at last! Employment. Yes, I found employment! There may have been a few late bills that would be difficult to an excruciating degree to catch up on, but I found employment! I worked, I aspired, I showed that I was determined, I showed that I wasn't afraid to excel. Life was becoming sustainable, and the help from the elders would soon become cut off after I'd have the ability to sustain the modest needs of the household. Life was becoming empowered.. brightened.. and lively. I came across a woman whom I eventually felt attached to.. a woman that needed someone to hug her.. someone to be there for her. She was a gem, the one in a million, the happiness that was added to my life, the icing on top of the cake.
A phone call had arrived on Independence Day. While I was celebrating America's glorious freedom, the world began to collapse around me. I became laid off of my career. Perhaps things would be alright? Perhaps I'd simply go out again and find another career to place my work upon? Perhaps.. perhaps.. it was always perhaps..
It's always in an instance where when one event is wrongful, so many other events turn sour...
My woman had left me.
We came under the realization that we were walking two completely different paths.. and that separating now would be more simple than separating later. A hedgehog's dilemma, if you will.. to where when the hedgehogs become too close, they simply hurt one another. My heart was torn asunder. I was a sword that fought on while she my shield to support my stance upon hardships. I felt that I was merely just a weathered, dulled sword at that point.. unable to advance.. unable to strive.
Child support may be a possibility, but the parents' name is not on my sibling's birth certificate. A DNA test is required and my parent cannot even afford the small amount it costs for this test.
My dues are around the corner.. such modest dues as well.. such low living expenses, such a frugal life, such a life where I've spent little to nothing on luxuries.. and I have nothing.
My hunger for food has been growing every day, and I'll only have a short time to live under this roof before I'm forced to the streets. Still, I try to seek employment.. with excellent communication skills, a fine mind in literary skills, with no drug or criminal record of any sort. Alas, I feel that hope is lost...
I've tried my absolute best. I turned my once aloof life to a life of dedication and morals. I tried to fight against this fierce storm that society names a recession. I tried.. I tried..
As I share my pain to whomever reads this, I urge you all to ensure that either you as the young adult, or you as the parent.. do not become, nor do not raise your child in a sense to where they live such a spoiled and aloof childhood.
I am paying gravely for my mistakes.. mistakes that I've tried so endearingly to fix.
This world is nothing but cruelty, and only the best will stay afloat. Although I was told several times in the past that I was able to do anything I desired if I placed my mind upon it.. they were false. I've done so much, and I've given so much effort.. to nothing but vain.
Soon I'll be walking the streets, finding sustenance to keep myself breathing. I'll become the lowest of society.. when I tried to such an unrelenting degree to refrain away from it.
Is this the fate I really deserve? Must I keep falling deeper in this hole when I want to become a somebody? Can't I just move on somehow and attain the business degree I've wanted for years? Why do things have to end like this? All I wanted was to sustain and advance.. just one step at a time..
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