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brokenhearted

Charlotte, NC

#1 Jan 6, 2013
I know this isn't a good place to get advice, but I need some unbiased input. My husband and I have been married now for over 2 years... and yes we are a young couple... but all of a sudden its like I don't even exist anymore! He cusses me, fusses about money constantly even though we are fine in that area, and now he doesn't want to have sex or hold me or anything... I don't get a hug, a kiss goodnight, nothing anymore and God it breaks my heart... if I bring it up he just huffs and puffs and whines about money and says he's just tired... it doesn't matter if I try to look good for him or be sweet or anything, he'd just assume stare at the television and watch movies and eat. I could walk around naked in my house and he wouldnt pay any mind! What does a woman do in this situation? Because it really hurts knowing the only man I love and care about could totally care less about my feelings and needs....
Starry

Crossville, TN

#2 Jan 6, 2013
I don't have any advice, but I do wish the best for you and your marriage.
Remember that you are worth what you are asking for and so so much more.
and then

Cookeville, TN

#4 Jan 6, 2013
Show him a reflection. Give him what he gives you. If he doesn't come around when he sees his woman is losing interest, then prepare yourself to move on. Sometimes it takes the threat of losing something before you really see how much you care about it.
Tennessee Toothbrush

Cookeville, TN

#5 Jan 6, 2013
brokenhearted wrote:
I know this isn't a good place to get advice, but I need some unbiased input. My husband and I have been married now for over 2 years... and yes we are a young couple... but all of a sudden its like I don't even exist anymore! He cusses me, fusses about money constantly even though we are fine in that area, and now he doesn't want to have sex or hold me or anything... I don't get a hug, a kiss goodnight, nothing anymore and God it breaks my heart... if I bring it up he just huffs and puffs and whines about money and says he's just tired... it doesn't matter if I try to look good for him or be sweet or anything, he'd just assume stare at the television and watch movies and eat. I could walk around naked in my house and he wouldnt pay any mind! What does a woman do in this situation? Because it really hurts knowing the only man I love and care about could totally care less about my feelings and needs....
Not kidding here: suck him off without warning. Don't ask for sex. Just blow him without him even knowing its coming. Do it often. It will bring the spark back.
Nooo

Cookeville, TN

#6 Jan 6, 2013
Tennessee Toothbrush wrote:
<quoted text>
Not kidding here: suck him off without warning. Don't ask for sex. Just blow him without him even knowing its coming. Do it often. It will bring the spark back.
Reward his actions so he will repeat them. Right.
brokenhearted

Indian Trail, NC

#7 Jan 6, 2013
Thanks for the kind words everyone! And TN toothbrush, I'm LOL at your comment! Not because its funny, but because I've already been there and done that and yea, it worked, but only for one night! The sex was alright, but its just like he's completely distant during and after. Personally for me, I prefer a man to take control and MAKE me do things. I like dominance and appreciation afterwards I guess.... and its like he could care less about doing anything at all! Its weird, but i feel i can now relate to men when they say it kills them to have a girl who just lays there! Because that's all he does when we do it. I do all the work and I get no response like kissing, grabbing, or anything period! He wont even hold me afterwards or kiss me goodnight. He puts his underwear back on and just rolls over and goes to sleep... Its awful! I mean I don't think I'm ugly or anything..., And I definitely think I deserve more than I'm getting in return... Sorry for TMI... I'm just so confused and needed to vent.
guy

United States

#8 Jan 6, 2013
Being a guy this could be a few things, he may have found a intrest most likley lust after a another or he is losing intrest. Like the others said give him what he's giving you speaking of experiance you don't know what you have untill its gone, if he don't come around find someone that's gives you what you want. A lot of guys out there that would a chance to have a good woman
BeenThere

United States

#9 Jan 6, 2013
Was married for 12 years and went through the same thing. Have since grew up and learned that often no matter how much you love someone it doesn't always work. I begged, pleaded and tried everything to fix a problem I didn't know what was. I finally walked away when I had been hurt to the point of no longer wanting him. Then he decided he wanted me .... To late. I wish you the best of luck. I know for me I always felt like there was another woman, I felt unattractive and like I was a disappointment. Afterwards it took me a long time to get to a place where I was ok. I looked at myself and decided I was worth loving and he was the one that screwed up.

You aren't alone although that's how it feels. Spend time with family and friends just don't let him destroy who you are. Good luck
brokenhearted

Indian Trail, NC

#10 Jan 6, 2013
That's exactly how I feel BeenThere... and the sad thing is, I've never really had any friends at all.. just my family... when we got married, I was suddenly cut off from the world. Wasn't allowed to go anywhere without him. He always said he was so afraid of someone taking advantage of me or me finding someone else, or me cheating on him even though the thought has never crossed my mind! He didn't even want me to hang out with my cousins and their friends. I've been more than good to him in my opinion.. I've been loyal, faithful, and I've never done any type of drugs or even smoked a cigarette which I know is RARE around here! I'm gonna try talking to him about it again this evening... and hopefully he'll do some soul searching and tell me what's wrong... plz keep me in your thoughts and thanks again for the kind words and advice..
Tennessee Toothbrush

Summerville, SC

#11 Jan 6, 2013
Nooo wrote:
<quoted text>Reward his actions so he will repeat them. Right.
If you consider oral a reward, you don't understand sex.
Nooo

Cookeville, TN

#12 Jan 6, 2013
Tennessee Toothbrush wrote:
<quoted text>Not kidding here: suck him off without warning. Don't ask for sex. Just blow him without him even knowing its coming. Do it often. It will bring the spark back.

If you consider oral a reward, you don't understand sex.
OK, then explain to me what it is, if you wasn't meaning it as such.
Pretty obvious that you haven't had much experience with relationships. Maybe you don't understand that relationships are not dependent purely upon sex. There are other things required for successful relationships. Turn off the p0rn and learn some social skills.
hoping

Crossville, TN

#13 Jan 6, 2013
I have been in this situation before and later found out that he was cheating. I hope this is not the case with you but that is my bet. I'm not trying to be unkind so please don't take it that way. I hope whatever it is you will be able to get through to him and work it out. Always remember that you are worth all the things you desire and give. Best of luck to you.
Tennessee Toothbrush

Cookeville, TN

#14 Jan 6, 2013
Nooo wrote:
<quoted text>...if you wasn't....
I refuse to converse with you based solely on this portion of your sentence.
haha

Crossville, TN

#15 Jan 6, 2013
Totally normal at this point in your marriage.
Talk to him, tell him how you feel with out accusing or blaming him for anything.
Let him know you're in it for the long haul and divorce isn't even an option but you know he must be going through something because he's not acting himself and you want to help in anyway you can. BJs was also good advice, haha.
Yep

Sparta, TN

#16 Jan 6, 2013
Men don't want to talk about how we feel. Sometimes they want to eat, watch some TV, and go to bed. My husband works very hard and has since we got married, but there were times when I felt like I wasn't getting enough attention and found it elsewhere. It almost destroyed our lives and that of our children. Stop being so selfish. It's all about you and what you want. He's probably wore out and stressed and you putting all this pressure on him to work, provide, and try to satisfy your fragile ego is exhausting I'm sure. Try to lighten up. Sometimes inattention means there is someone else... sometimes it just means they are tired. but I can tell you this, if you continue with the pressure and stress trying to force him to make you happy, you will push him into the arms of someone less demanding. Relax. If he wants to watch tv then watch tv. Stop being so insecure and selfish. Try making it more about him and less about you.
truth

Jasper, TN

#17 Jan 7, 2013
hey brokrn hearted I would treat you better and give you the things you need cause you sound pur hearted for ral how old are you.
brokenhearted

Crossville, TN

#18 Jan 7, 2013
Well I'm sorry for the way you took what I said, "Yep." I don't think I am being demanding at all, and I don't ever ask him for anything. The truth is, everything is all about him. I work, take care of the house, take care of the bills, and try to make him happy every single day. I cook for him every morning before he goes to work, I take him lunch after I get off work, I go home and clean and cook and when he gets home, yes, he just flops down on the couch and watches tv. If you don't see what's wrong with the situation, then I'm sorry. But I work everyday too and don't stop going until after supper dishes are clean and the laundry is all put away. I finally got to talk to him last night and he says he has just been stressed with his job and worries about money and wishes he could do more for us. He said he wishes we were comfortable enough to have some breathing room so we could go out and do things together... so I guess my questions are answered somewhat! I asked if he was losing interest in me and he said no, he's just been self conscious because he's put on a little weight.... I trust him, and I don't think he would ever cheat on me.
Anyway, does anyone know of anything fun to do around here? I think maybe if we get out of the same old routine, it might make him feel better. We aren't into partying or drinking alot.. and we're both outdoors type of people. Any suggestions?
Realist

Crossville, TN

#19 Jan 7, 2013
C O M M U N I C A T I O N
wtf

Crossville, TN

#20 Jan 7, 2013
Nooo wrote:
<quoted text> Reward his actions so he will repeat them. Right.
Hell if every women in there world would do what tt said Hell would peace might breakout who knows
BeenThere

United States

#21 Jan 7, 2013
You live in a great place for outdoors activities, fishing, hiking, camping or just drive around and enjoy the view. Take a nice day take a camera and go to the park. Take photos of each other and the scenery. Pack a picnic and share some with the squirrels and geese. Make it fun, see who can come up with the silliest idea or the most romantic spot to kiss. Make out in your car the way you did as teenagers. Remember things you enjoyed together that didn't cost a lot of money and walk back down memory lane. Best of wishes.

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