5h3rl0ck

Fredericksburg, VA

#1 Nov 10, 2012
Kids are loud, stupid, annoying, ugly, and they smell like dog shit. They're always running around giggling and spilling punch everywhere. They waste their time playing shitty games like Football and kick the can. Always eating candy and teasing the kids without any. Those little shits. Kids aren't even real people; that's why kids pay less to go to movies. They pay less because they're worth less. No, not worth less, just worthless.

I saw a kid on a Tylenol commercial once. I hated her. She was dressed up in a pink ballerina outfit and squirming around in front of her dad, trying to get him to watch her. The dad obviously had a long day at work, and was exhausted from working his ass off to feed his spoiled little daughter, but she persisted to dance around and get his attention. Shut up you little bitch, he's trying to sleep. But no.. she continues to dance. Then the announcer whispers "Don't worry little one, daddy's going to be okay" and then he takes some Tylenol to muster up enough strength to watch the little shit dance. Makes me want to puke. If I were the father, I'd scream and go into a rage for the slightest interruption. I didn't go to work for 8 hours just to come home and get bothered by my daughter's shitty dance. I'd say "You suck. Your dancing is horrible, I hope you break your legs. You're never going to be a dancer. Go sit in the corner and play with your dirt." And dirt is too much for her to play with. I'd give my kids rusty nails and battery acid. If they don't like it, they'll have to sell drugs to buy new toys, and that's after I take out my share of their profit to buy alcohol with it. Spoiled little brats. Why don't they go work for a change? Or are they too good to make an honest living? I've heard all the bullshit excuses like "I'm not tall enough to work at a construction site.." or "I'm only a kid." Oh.. it's breaking my heart. Tough shit. Go to work.

These little brats have gone too far these days. It's time to kick some ass and to bring down the law on these delinquents. New rules:

No more laughing. Kids aren't people and don't deserve to laugh.
No more singing. No more music. Nobody wants to hear a shitty little kid try to sing or listen to music. They don't know what's good, and they might start listening to the Wall Flowers or Live.
No more running, jumping, dancing, or fun. Kids don't deserve to have fun. They have to earn the air they breathe.

Penalties:
Penalty for graffiti: Death. No more of this correctional center bullshit.
Penalty for disobedience: Castration. Disobedient children don't deserve to procreate.
Penalty for experimentation with drugs or sex: Castration and then Death. We want to send them a strong message about this one.
Penalty for ditching school: Hmm.. I'm going with Death on this one, just to be safe.
Penalty for being outside beyond curfew: No penalty. Any children outside beyond their curfew will fall victim to rabid dogs and vampires.

That should do it for now. With these rules, we shouldn't have any more problems with kids falling out of line. With total supervision, they can't screw up. And if they do, they will be shot. It's simple, and effective. Positive reinforcement in a child's life only leads to communism. Lets prevent it from ever happening again.
haha

Covington, VA

#2 Nov 10, 2012
i need a babysitter !are you available? LOL!!!
haha

Covington, VA

#3 Nov 10, 2012
i need a babysitter! are you available? LOL!!
yep

Baltimore, MD

#4 Nov 10, 2012
That is hilarious
Weakk

Eagle Rock, VA

#5 Nov 10, 2012
Hahaha, thank you for doing this!! xD
fellow kid h8r

Covington, VA

#6 Nov 11, 2012
bless this post

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#7 Nov 11, 2012
Now THAT'S funny lol
dumbass

Waynesboro, VA

#8 Nov 11, 2012
this is ridiculous u need to get over your dumb self case closed
5h3rl0ck

Covington, VA

#9 Nov 11, 2012
"this is ridiculous u need to get over your dumb self case closed"

The syntax of your reply is atrocious. I rarely read things that make me want to hit myself in the face with a golf club. Congratulations!

You're the prime example of a shithead kid that was allowed to live to adulthood.

If your parents followed my rules, we wouldn't see you on the Internet ruining everything for the rest of us.
lisa

United States

#10 Nov 17, 2012
You are one sick motherf***er that needs to have your balls cut off and feed to you kids are a precious gift from God and none should take them for granted what do you think you did as a kids you dumb bastard maybe someone should have gave u the punishment that u have described here and our kids would be safer in this world people like you make me sick you don't deserve to breath the air in your lungs that the good lord provides you with everyday and with that being said got to he'll you f***ing psycho!
Anonymous

Suitland, MD

#11 Nov 17, 2012
You have caused me to laugh so hard I pissed myself...lol
twerk

Capitol Heights, MD

#12 Nov 17, 2012
No lord provides me with air (oxygen I assume). Plants do. Why thank you photosynthesis.
lisa

United States

#13 Nov 17, 2012
twerk wrote:
No lord provides me with air (oxygen I assume). Plants do. Why thank you photosynthesis.
and without the lord do u think you would have plants????
lisa

United States

#14 Nov 17, 2012
And without the lord do u think you would have them plants?? Dumbass
Internet Wiseguy

Carlisle, PA

#15 Nov 17, 2012
Too bad this article was stolen from Maddox.

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi...

Nice try, dipshit.
idiot

Warrenville, IL

#16 Nov 18, 2012
5h3rl0ck wrote:
Kids are loud, stupid, annoying, ugly, and they smell like dog shit. They're always running around giggling and spilling punch everywhere. They waste their time playing shitty games like Football and kick the can. Always eating candy and teasing the kids without any. Those little shits. Kids aren't even real people; that's why kids pay less to go to movies. They pay less because they're worth less. No, not worth less, just worthless.
I saw a kid on a Tylenol commercial once. I hated her. She was dressed up in a pink ballerina outfit and squirming around in front of her dad, trying to get him to watch her. The dad obviously had a long day at work, and was exhausted from working his ass off to feed his spoiled little daughter, but she persisted to dance around and get his attention. Shut up you little bitch, he's trying to sleep. But no.. she continues to dance. Then the announcer whispers "Don't worry little one, daddy's going to be okay" and then he takes some Tylenol to muster up enough strength to watch the little shit dance. Makes me want to puke. If I were the father, I'd scream and go into a rage for the slightest interruption. I didn't go to work for 8 hours just to come home and get bothered by my daughter's shitty dance. I'd say "You suck. Your dancing is horrible, I hope you break your legs. You're never going to be a dancer. Go sit in the corner and play with your dirt." And dirt is too much for her to play with. I'd give my kids rusty nails and battery acid. If they don't like it, they'll have to sell drugs to buy new toys, and that's after I take out my share of their profit to buy alcohol with it. Spoiled little brats. Why don't they go work for a change? Or are they too good to make an honest living? I've heard all the bullshit excuses like "I'm not tall enough to work at a construction site.." or "I'm only a kid." Oh.. it's breaking my heart. Tough shit. Go to work.
These little brats have gone too far these days. It's time to kick some ass and to bring down the law on these delinquents. New rules:
No more laughing. Kids aren't people and don't deserve to laugh.
No more singing. No more music. Nobody wants to hear a shitty little kid try to sing or listen to music. They don't know what's good, and they might start listening to the Wall Flowers or Live.
No more running, jumping, dancing, or fun. Kids don't deserve to have fun. They have to earn the air they breathe.
Penalties:
Penalty for graffiti: Death. No more of this correctional center bullshit.
Penalty for disobedience: Castration. Disobedient children don't deserve to procreate.
Penalty for experimentation with drugs or sex: Castration and then Death. We want to send them a strong message about this one.
Penalty for ditching school: Hmm.. I'm going with Death on this one, just to be safe.
Penalty for being outside beyond curfew: No penalty. Any children outside beyond their curfew will fall victim to rabid dogs and vampires.
That should do it for now. With these rules, we shouldn't have any more problems with kids falling out of line. With total supervision, they can't screw up. And if they do, they will be shot. It's simple, and effective. Positive reinforcement in a child's life only leads to communism. Lets prevent it from ever happening again.
you must have been dropped on your head slapnuts.......probaly some child pedaphile, that got busted.....do us all a favor and go drink a container of antifreeze
jamal

Bentonville, AR

#17 Nov 23, 2012
lisa wrote:
You are one sick motherf***er that needs to have your balls cut off and feed to you kids are a precious gift from God and none should take them for granted what do you think you did as a kids you dumb bastard maybe someone should have gave u the punishment that u have described here and our kids would be safer in this world people like you make me sick you don't deserve to breath the air in your lungs that the good lord provides you with everyday and with that being said got to he'll you f***ing psycho!
yeah u tell em

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