Executive Order Holds Guns Accountable
Posted in the Cookeville Forum
#1 Dec 23, 2012
Executive Order Holds Guns Accountable
Saying he was unwilling to let what he called a “lazy-a** Congress” go on a Kwanzaa break without doing something to end gun violence, President Obama on Friday wrote and signed Executive Order No. 57-ought-nought, demanding that law enforcement officials in all 57 states immediately arrest any and all guns believed to be used in crimes.
“This will get those dang guns off the street,” the president remarked as he signed the order, which was written on a cocktail napkin from the Kappuhualuhannilannamaliki-aha Hotel where he, the family and their entourage of 700 personal assistants, servants, cooks and interior decorators were staying.
Some Republican critics immediately criticized the order in a critical fashion, which other Democratic critics deemed overly critical.
Nonetheless, the critics of the first part noted that the executive order was unclear on whether the president meant to say law enforcement should arrest all “guns” or “gun owners,” primarily due to a large water ring left on the order by the president’s fifth papaya-mango daiquiri of the morning.
“What the ****?” said congressman Paul Ryan, furrowing his Eddie Munster-like brow into a full vampiric scowl.
Democratic Rep. Barney Frank also commented on the new executive order, but no one could understand what he was saying above the wet, flapping sound of his jowls. His office later released a statement in which he wrote,“It’s about time we put the blame where it belongs, on the weapon, not the weapon’s user. People don’t kill people. Guns kill people.”
Former speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, when asked about the president’s executive order, jumped up and down and giggled hysterically for several minutes before saying,“I just bought a gun recycling plant last week. I can’t wait to cash that check!”
Sen. Majority Leader Harry Reid’s only comment was “Huh?” as he slipped back into a coma at his desk behind an inbox overflowing with unread budget proposals.
The executive order would also hold bullets and high-capacity magazines accountable as accessories to a crime.
Frank said he was glad that targeting scopes were exempted from criminal responsibility under the new law of the land.“Let’s face it,” Frank said,“targeting scopes are kind of gay. Therefore they must be given special consideration.”
Under the executive order, guns convicted of a crime would be melted down and turned into speculums and other probing devices for use by the TSA at airport inspection checkpoints.
#2 Dec 23, 2012
I hope the 500,000 that shows up next month gives him a warm welcome and congratulates him on his second term
#3 Dec 23, 2012
Quoting from godfatherpolitics again? Yes that is real fact-based journalism. If you actually read it, you would know within a sentence or two that someone is just making things up. Post a link next time so we won't have to find where you dig this "newsworthy" item.
#4 Dec 23, 2012
Yazzammm BB ant you set up a appointment with the fat farm yet? You need to lose some lard lol
#5 Mar 5, 2013
Holder: Drone strike against Americans in the U.S. possible.
WOW, Holder started Fast and Furious to try and make a obama statement about US guns in MX true. Resulting in many deaths in MX and the death of a US Border Guard. Wonder if he has any ethics or morals, he obviously isn't concerned with following US law...
#6 Mar 5, 2013
Barry is at it again. Forgot how to spell your name or just trying to camouflage it.
Here's the truth about gunrunning across the border. It seems Eric Holder didn't start this. But facts won't get in the way of Barry making a fool of himself. Never have before!
#7 Oct 7, 2013
Executive order and accountable do not go together under obama.
However cover up and denial do. Nixon was impeached for MUCH LESS!!!
The ATF agent who blew the whistle on Operation Fast and Furious has been denied permission to write a book on the botched anti-gun trafficking sting "because it would have a negative impact on morale," according to the very agency responsible for the scandal.
After first trying to stop the operation internally, ATF Agent John Dodson went to Congress and eventually the media following the death of Border Patrol Agent Brian Terry in December 2010. Two guns found at the murder scene were sold through the ATF operation.
Dodson's book, titled "The Unarmed Truth," provides the first inside account of how the federal government permitted and helped sell some 2,000 guns to Mexican drug cartels, despite evidence the guns killed innocent people.
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