18 year old guy dating a 15 year old girl ?

Posted in the Cookeville Forum

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DAD

Hillsboro, TN

#1 Dec 2, 2010
is something wrong with a 18 year old college guy dating a 15 year old highschool girl ?
Asking

Manchester, TN

#2 Dec 2, 2010
Not really. There is only a 3 year difference but I think the girls parents should approve of the relationship.
Asking

Manchester, TN

#3 Dec 2, 2010
That didn't come out quite how I intended, lol. I meant that the girl's parents should have a say in whether or not she's allowed to date an 18-year-old.
No No

Cookeville, TN

#4 Dec 2, 2010
DAD wrote:
is something wrong with a 18 year old college guy dating a 15 year old highschool girl ?
She is probably more mature than he is. As long as the boy meets your approval I would allow them to date.
Asking

Manchester, TN

#5 Dec 2, 2010
I think it depends on the situation. If the guy is in college, acts decent, and seems to have good intentions then I say why not. In high school I knew a lot of people who in "arm candy" relationships with older men and there's definitely something different and unsettling about it that you can't really put your finger on. I think it'd pretty easy to tell whether or not he legitimately cares for her versus only being interested in the novelty of having a younger girlfriend. Get to know him and follow your gut instincts.
bTelling

Cookeville, TN

#6 Dec 3, 2010
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statutory_rape

It might sound ok, but lets say it happens.

they break up a year later, parents decide to pursue a lawsuit.

Then what?
therapist joe

Columbia, SC

#7 Dec 3, 2010
if they happy and they ain't causing no drama, it'd be alright

“The King Returns..”

Since: Dec 10

The Labyrinth

#8 Dec 3, 2010
True, I was thinking there was an age difference of like 3 years before it was statutory rape, however after reading, that only means if you're both under 18.

If a couple has been dating and having sex, one person 1 year older than the other.. When the man turns 18 it is by textbook law, statutory rape for him to have sex with his girlfriend who is still 17...even only one year difference.

Technically this guy could be in BIG trouble if the relationship goes sour and the parents decide to press charges.
too funny

Cookeville, TN

#9 Dec 3, 2010
Troll King wrote:
True, I was thinking there was an age difference of like 3 years before it was statutory rape, however after reading, that only means if you're both under 18.
If a couple has been dating and having sex, one person 1 year older than the other.. When the man turns 18 it is by textbook law, statutory rape for him to have sex with his girlfriend who is still 17...even only one year difference.
Technically this guy could be in BIG trouble if the relationship goes sour and the parents decide to press charges.
You actually can make sense occasionally.

On a serious note, nice to see you refrain from the name calling and similar antics. This is not an attempt at sarcasm or trolling or what have you. Just an extension of thanks, thats it.

“The King Returns..”

Since: Dec 10

The Labyrinth

#10 Dec 3, 2010
too funny wrote:
<quoted text>
Just an extension of thanks, thats it.
You're welcome..

However if you ever feel like hearing a good ole' verbal bashing that would make Greg Geraldo defecate in his grave, hit me up.. Just kidding of course.

Thanks for the "grats" on a serious note. And I'm just glad the craziness is over and the topics are all getting back to normal again.
Ginger

Shelbyville, TN

#11 Dec 3, 2010
DAD wrote:
is something wrong with a 18 year old college guy dating a 15 year old highschool girl ?
In my opinion it's wrong for a 15 year old to be dating.

“The King Returns..”

Since: Dec 10

The Labyrinth

#12 Dec 3, 2010
Ginger wrote:
<quoted text>
In my opinion it's wrong for a 15 year old to be dating.
If you try and keep a 15 year old from dating they WILL do it, and they WILL be forced to hide it from you..

When you can let them date, but inform them VERY WELL, keep them on a short leash and keep all activities supervised and keep an open relationship so you know whats going on and that you can/can not trust him/her.

Either that or force them to hide it from you and let them go into it alone with no information or ANYTHING because they're afreaid to ask you..

9, 10, 11, 12, I agree no dating what so ever, however 15 you should use this as an opportunity to be more involved with your children, rather than condemn it and regret it later.
therapist joe

Columbia, SC

#13 Dec 3, 2010
don't be too stern or u will have them hiding it from you, and then they can't come to the "parents" for advice, and the advice they are able to get may not be what they need!!! if they wanna be together they'll be together
What

Manchester, TN

#14 Dec 3, 2010
Ginger wrote:
<quoted text>
In my opinion it's wrong for a 15 year old to be dating.
Most of the people I know who ended up pregnant in middle/high school were the people who "weren't allowed" to be dating. If they're being forced to cover it up and aren't able to discuss things openly with their parents it sets them up for disaster.
Ginger

Shelbyville, TN

#15 Dec 3, 2010
What wrote:
<quoted text>
Most of the people I know who ended up pregnant in middle/high school were the people who "weren't allowed" to be dating. If they're being forced to cover it up and aren't able to discuss things openly with their parents it sets them up for disaster.
Hmm, most of the ones I know who ended up pregnant never even asked if they could date or not- their relationship with their parents was that bad. They usually met up with the boyfriend at a school function or the movies, then left. I can't think of one who was told they Couldn't date, they just assumed it.

I wonder if there are statistics on what age is more prevalent in teen pregnancies- I'm thinking it will be 16. I'll go google it.
Ginger

Shelbyville, TN

#16 Dec 3, 2010
Coculdn't find any statistics broken down by specific age. The only breakdown is 15-17 versus 18-20. Surprisingly, it is higher for the older age group.
cruella

United States

#17 Dec 3, 2010
My parents were crazy strict and I just did it anyways and covered it up well. I had no information about the real world or sex. I swore I would not raise my children that way. I now have. Grown children who were informed teenagers and we talked about everything. Open and honest communication. They didn't run wild. They had boundaries that were well known but never crossed them. You can smother them and It does not protect them it makes them be creative and wild. Believe me I know. I played a great angel to my parents
Ginger

Shelbyville, TN

#18 Dec 3, 2010
What wrote:
<quoted text>
Most of the people I know who ended up pregnant in middle/high school were the people who "weren't allowed" to be dating. If they're being forced to cover it up and aren't able to discuss things openly with their parents it sets them up for disaster.
lmao! My sense of humor doesn't know when to stop. I was going about my work just now and the thought crossed my mind that if they ended up pregnant then maybe their parents were right, they weren't ready for dating. lol!

I get what you are saying though- parents need to know who their kids are and that doesn't happen often enough these days. Too many just lay down the law and expect it to fit their kid because it fits them as a parent. Communication is the key, and if you haven't got a good start before they're teens then you are in for a fight.

“The King Returns..”

Since: Dec 10

The Labyrinth

#19 Dec 3, 2010
My parents were 100% open with me, didn't sugar coat anything they told me, and asked me if I was ready for the truth when I asked them a tough question, because that is what I received when they would answer.

I know 99%(or close to it) about my son's life currently, even his personal one, all his friends names, girlfriends, ex's, etc; as much of it as I can and I don't lie to him, sugar coat, or BS him for any reason either..He can know anything he asks because it is important to be completely open and hones as well.

When kids get old enough 15/16, they NEED this interaction and teaching of whats right and wrong daily and why, and what consequences are for certain actions and why.. If not, they can always end up finding out the hard way and be in the paper for burglarizing a beer truck, or sexting, getting a dui, or end up a teen mom/dad at a young age.

Parents choice of course, get involved early, or dont get involved early. I personally think it's the difference of night and day in responsible young adults.

“The King Returns..”

Since: Dec 10

The Labyrinth

#20 Dec 3, 2010
Ginger wrote:
<quoted text>
Communication is the key, and if you haven't got a good start before they're teens then you are in for a fight.
100% agree, and early is the key too.. You wait too long, and you are truly in for a fight. My son's friends are so disassociated with their families that I couldn't imagine being one of them and trying to connect with them NOW when they're this age.

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