First Prev
of 2
Next Last
tough day

United States

#1 Apr 28, 2011
are there any other moms or dads who have found that after having a child your partner leaves and has nothing to do with there own child... I didn't realize someone I cared so much for and thought I knew would turn away from his own child. My child is young and doesn't notice his dad isn't around because I spend every waking minute showing my child love, But it is so hard to do everything alone when being a parent was something I wanted to share, regardless the relationships outcome of me and the dad. And the sad part of it, the dad lives in this town. What could be more important than spending time with their child... I have never told him he couldn't see his child, and yet he won't even pick up the phone when I try to call and inform him of how things are. It's just a bunch of shit how someone can be such a horrible person but yet has friends to occupy his time daily. I am ranting. I am sure I will get shit on here but I am having one of those nights where I am so angry I can't sleep...
Davina

United States

#2 Apr 28, 2011
i know exactly how you feel. i have been married 2 times. i had 2 boys with each guy. i have never denied either of them of seein their kids. but yet they wont have anything to do with their kids. actually i used to harrass them a little to try to urdge them to be in their lives. but ive found its harder on my boys to see their dad once in a while than never at all. so ive stopped tryin to get em to visit them. my oldest 2 boys have already came to me with the hardest question youll ever have to answer...why dont my daddy want to see me?dont he love me? and really there is no good answer. and even though youre the parent that loves your child dearly you still gotta answer something that hurts you both with the truth...thye complete truth about all of it. tell your child that their daddy is a retarded dickhead lol thats why they aint around.but anyway,my whole reason for posting is to tell you..in the end its sooo completely worth every second of the double love,work,and devotion.see you get love and respect .
tough day

United States

#3 Apr 28, 2011
That is true,your comment lightens me by relieving the question, why do I have to work so hard. I also have more respect for myself and what I am actually capable of accomplishing. I fear the questions you mentioned probably most, of all the fears I have in being in this alone. Why should I feel like I have to tell them anything different, your right. They are retarded dickheads, because, if they weren't they would have been spending time with you...Believe it or not I appreciate your response, I actually feel better from reading something on topix!! Thank you...It is also nice to know I am not the only person going through this.(not that I wish it on anyone)

Since: Apr 11

Location hidden

#4 Apr 28, 2011
Tough Day,
I'm sorry that the father isn't around. It is a shame! Hopefully, he will pay for that someday. I'm sure he will.
I have a friend in this situation. I told her that there isn't much you can do about it but be there for the child. That is the most important thing. Mom needs to be happy so that the child can be too. Children can sense when a parent isn't happy. Maybe you are having a hard time with him leaving too? I hope that you aren't sitting around moping! You must pick yourself up and move on! Call some old friends and get together. Take a little break and try to relax a little. It is okay to need and want a little time for yourself. Maybe there is a granparent that would be willing to spend some time with the child.
I do wish you luck. Take care of yourself so that you will be your best for your child. Okay?!
tough day

United States

#5 Apr 28, 2011
When I said "would have been spending time with you" in comment #3 I was referring to my child... Just wanted to clear that up... And sitting around feeling sorry for myself, not exactly, but my life is just different now and it takes some time to learn how to be social again... Being sad about him leaving, not at all...Being lonely, Yes... Not because I don't have friends but because I keep everyone at a safe distance. I just can't handle anymore emotional strain...

Since: Apr 11

Location hidden

#6 Apr 28, 2011
tough day wrote:
When I said "would have been spending time with you" in comment #3 I was referring to my child... Just wanted to clear that up... And sitting around feeling sorry for myself, not exactly, but my life is just different now and it takes some time to learn how to be social again... Being sad about him leaving, not at all...Being lonely, Yes... Not because I don't have friends but because I keep everyone at a safe distance. I just can't handle anymore emotional strain...
Sorry, I didn't see comment #3 when I wrote my comment. We posted at about the same time.
Only you will know when. I do wish you luck. I'm really sorry that you have to go through this. your child too. I wish I could say something clever but I haven't been in your shoes. Take care!
tough day

United States

#7 Apr 28, 2011
Thank you for responding, positive words help...
Davina

United States

#8 Apr 28, 2011
just thought id tell ya it does get easier as time passes.you will feel better about all of it and so will your child.my motto is everything that happens,happens for a reason. maybe its for you and your child to live a happier life because just like the other person said a child can sence when you feel certain emotions.so maybe your soulmate who will make you super happy is commin your way. or maybe its god letting you off the hook from a loser that dont even love his child enough to visit;so how could he love you.you were waisting time just like i was. but we both ended up with precious gifts from god.who could ask for a greater love than what you recieve from your own child. good luck in life.it gets easier.dont stress so much.it could always be worse...we have healthy children.i thank god for that everyday.and you seem to love your child a lot also.in the end youve made an accomplishment that nobody else can.you raise a child into an adult that will turn out beautifully with the love youre giving.:)

Since: Apr 11

Location hidden

#9 Apr 28, 2011
Wow Davina, That is a great post! She is right Tough Day! A child is a gift from God. And everything else Davina said , she is RIGHT ON!!!
Davina

United States

#10 Apr 28, 2011
wow,i cant believe this topic hasnt been tainted yet! thats wonderful. maybe the dumbasses are asleep.lol
beefcake

Duncan, OK

#11 Apr 29, 2011
tough day wrote:
are there any other moms or dads who have found that after having a child your partner leaves and has nothing to do with there own child... I didn't realize someone I cared so much for and thought I knew would turn away from his own child. My child is young and doesn't notice his dad isn't around because I spend every waking minute showing my child love, But it is so hard to do everything alone when being a parent was something I wanted to share, regardless the relationships outcome of me and the dad. And the sad part of it, the dad lives in this town. What could be more important than spending time with their child... I have never told him he couldn't see his child, and yet he won't even pick up the phone when I try to call and inform him of how things are. It's just a bunch of shit how someone can be such a horrible person but yet has friends to occupy his time daily. I am ranting. I am sure I will get shit on here but I am having one of those nights where I am so angry I can't sleep...
Are you talking about stephen "beef" Demont? Yeah, He wont see his kid for nothing. Too busy playing xbox and running after high school tail!
tough day

United States

#12 Apr 29, 2011
No I am not talking about beef. Thank you davina for your words of wisdom... you are right this child was not born for the father, it was me. I love my child more than anything in this world and everything I do is for my child...My life was headed in a bad direction but then I gave birth to someone so special everything changed instantly. Being a mom is a gift and I am one Lucky lady to have a beautiful healthy baby...:) Yeah the dumbasses are probably yet still asleep...Some nice judging of the comments though...Anyway I really do feel better reading somethings you wrote...It is things I already knew but hearing them from someone else opens my eyes to realize i have a reason to be proud of myself, and the only thing important in this mess is that my child will grow up knowing the love of a devoted parent...
Thoughtless

Lake Station, IN

#13 Apr 29, 2011
I have an ex who shows our child a good time when he isn't busy running around with his buddies and some of the ladies in this community(and I use the term ladies very lightly) and my ex in his child's eyes is considered the next best thing to sliced bread. But when he doesn't show up or doesn't call for days or weeks at a time our child is devistated. What is so sorry about the whole situation is that my ex has no clue what he's doing to our child...he doesn't seem to care.
Makes me wonder if our child would be better off is his father would stop seeing him all together.
tough day

United States

#14 May 1, 2011
thoughtless. Exactly...I actually just had that thought today when my child called a relative of mine dad...It breaks my heart that he has no clue who his dad is, not that I even bring guys besides my family around. I have no time for all that, but my child knows my brother more than the dad. It breaks my heart...
Yeppers

Connersville, IN

#15 May 1, 2011
tough day wrote:
are there any other moms or dads who have found that after having a child your partner leaves and has nothing to do with there own child... I didn't realize someone I cared so much for and thought I knew would turn away from his own child. My child is young and doesn't notice his dad isn't around because I spend every waking minute showing my child love, But it is so hard to do everything alone when being a parent was something I wanted to share, regardless the relationships outcome of me and the dad. And the sad part of it, the dad lives in this town. What could be more important than spending time with their child... I have never told him he couldn't see his child, and yet he won't even pick up the phone when I try to call and inform him of how things are. It's just a bunch of shit how someone can be such a horrible person but yet has friends to occupy his time daily. I am ranting. I am sure I will get shit on here but I am having one of those nights where I am so angry I can't sleep...
My daughter is experiencing the same thing. The father lives in town and remarried. He is raising a child with his new wife that isn't even his and he even put his name on the birth certificate. How a man could turn his back to his own child and raise someone else's is beyond me. He is ordered to pay child support but works for cash, so he never pays and tells the court he has no money to pay, go figure. But I just wanted to let you know, tough day, you aren't alone in this. Keep your chin up and raise that child the best you can and you will be rewarded in the end.
tough day

Richmond, IN

#16 May 2, 2011
I just do not understand the chemistry of a man. That is an entire different topic. Regardless of the woman he chooses to be with, the child that is his blood should be what is important. Just because you can’t make it work with the woman you had a child with doesn’t mean you cannot continue to be a father. Great, whatever, pretend to be the dad of another man’s child, but again where is that child’s father. Anyway I guess my situation is a little better because the only evidence I have that the piece of shit is even still alive is I see his car parked next to my place of employment from time to time. I hope he keeps it that way. I would much rather him be MIA than to know what he is doing…
missy

United States

#17 May 3, 2011
What about a father who tries to be apart of his Childs life but mother is bitter of his decision to be with someone else and is using child. If she don't get her way then he can't see his child?
truth

Richmond, IN

#18 May 3, 2011
missy wrote:
What about a father who tries to be apart of his Childs life but mother is bitter of his decision to be with someone else and is using child. If she don't get her way then he can't see his child?
Now tell the truth.isn't the dad a drunk and druggie? I wouldn't let my child around people like that also.
davina

United States

#19 May 4, 2011
even if that is the case..the father a drunk or druggie.hes still the father.and there is supervised visitation that could be arranged.that way you know your child isnt being exposed to that crap and can still have their father. there is no reason for either parent to be taken out of their own childs life unless they have abused them in some way.it kills me a mom who wants the dad around cant get them to but a dad that wants to be around aint aloud. the world is screwed up. but in the end the children in these situations will learn who the one who caused it.and the child will be angry with the parent that caused them to lose the second parent not the one missing. so you should look at the whole picture before deciding whats best for you think about your child.if only the world were perfect.all the little innocent children could have exactly what they desire love and devotion from both parents. it isnt that much to ask. but some guys even some women just wont do it. its sad. if youre alone just give double luv
tough day

United States

#20 May 8, 2011
to missy
some women are like that and some men say women are like that even if the woman would let the father see the children... Sometimes I am angry and think it is unfair that some fathers can do whatever they want, whenever they want physically, and seem to easily emotionally disconnect from their children. Finally, months later they'll return for the "in" as a father that is "in and out" of their child's life...Im angry because he left not only my child but me, I'm bitter because I did not plan on having a child to raise alone, I want to say Hell no, you are not seeing your child. The same child that I have given up everything else in my life to be the mother and the father. Because I know this child, my child, was already dealt one shit card in life because the father doesn't care (or not enough anyway to give up on a selfish unlikely dream of his) But the instant I think about who this is all about I stop.. Because when I see a smile on my child's face giggling the word dada ., my anger for that man is still there, but i wouldn't take that joy away from my child for anything.... It is one of those things in life you should selflessly do for your children...

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Connersville Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Keep A Word, Drop A Word (Mar '10) 2 min Vector aka Victor... 12,172
Donald J Trump Presidency 6 min ICE 586
Clean this forum up jerk 33 min Chu Chu Rubusco 19
Is Deputy Bobby Revalee a Thief ? ? 41 min Chu Chu Rubusco 1
Jason 8ball 5 hr Scumbag 1
Hannah Hamilton 5 hr Sisterhood 1
Madison McQueen 6 hr Zeb 11

Connersville Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Connersville Mortgages