Elijah saw the wheel

[Johnny Dollar]

DGee wrote:

<quoted text>
no, but I will get it to y'all. I have one person's e-mail.

You better hurry or you might miss the bus.

[Johnny Dollar]

Well it's time for me to head on to the house.
As hot as it is I might just turn on the sprinkler in the back yard, take off all my clothes and run around nekked in the yard.
That might cool me off a little.
Y'all have fun now...Ya hear?

[God Squad Member]

Man this is a slow night for the wheel.

No body doing anything bad out there I guess.

Hmmmm?

[two pack]

God Squad Member wrote:

Man this is a slow night for the wheel.
No body doing anything bad out there I guess.
Hmmmm?

Wait a minute here. You do know some of them and they are never good.LOL

[God Squad Member]

two pack wrote:

<quoted text>Wait a minute here. You do know some of them and they are never good.LOL

yea I know and I am one of the bad ones too. lol

You got to have some fun in life. Can't go around being a troll forever. Well may be some can. lol

Man I just get a kick out of cutting up. lol

[CAPTAIN_JACK SPARR0W]

Sunburn remedy

A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got a horrible sunburn,
specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly
admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.

With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the
doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a
sedative,and a Viagra pill every four hours.

The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked,'What good will Viagra do for
him, Doctor?

The doctor replied,'It won't do anything for his condition, but it
will keep the sheets off his legs.

[two pack]

CAPTAIN_JACK SPARR0W wrote:

Sunburn remedy
A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got a horrible sunburn,
specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly
admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.
With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the
doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a
sedative,and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked,'What good will Viagra do for
him, Doctor?
The doctor replied,'It won't do anything for his condition, but it
will keep the sheets off his legs.

And all of the nurses will go around happy . LOL

[BWG]

CAPTAIN_JACK SPARR0W wrote:

Sunburn remedy
A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got a horrible sunburn,
specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly
admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.
With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the
doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a
sedative,and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked,'What good will Viagra do for
him, Doctor?
The doctor replied,'It won't do anything for his condition, but it
will keep the sheets off his legs.

You have mail.

[mean_old_man]

The Worst Wedding Toasts Ever
By Miles Stiverson

The wedding toast is a chance for the bride's and groom's closest family members and friends to express their joy for the couple, share a funny story or two, and impart words of wisdom. Sometimes, though, nerves, alcohol, or a not-so-secret disapproval of the matrimony leads to a speech that leaves everyone aghast. Here are real wedding toasts that made guests want to cower under their chairs rather than raise their glasses.

"At a friend's wedding a few years ago, the best man made it apparent that he wasn't such a fan of the bride. The speech went something like this:'(Groom's name), man I love ya, you know I do. I hope you thought about this and that this is what you really, really, really want.' Then he said the bride's name, hit his fist against his chest twice, and pointed at her."

"A friend of mine from college got married, and his best man said in his speech:'Finally John has found someone with low enough self-esteem to marry him.'"

"The maid of honor (the bride's sister) not only talked about herself during the whole speech, she also mentioned the possibility of an affair between herself and her sister's new husband."

"At my cousin's wedding, the best man ended his toast by saying he wanted the groom to know that he'd be there for him at his next wedding when this one didn't work out."

"The best man at a wedding I was in said during his toast,'Congratulations to the new parents!' No one except a select few knew the bride was pregnant -- not even her parents!"

"I was a bridesmaid in a wedding where the best man gave a toast about how cheap the groom was and how they'd been friends all their lives but the wedding was the first free meal he's ever been offered by the 'cheapskate.'"

"The father of the bride stood up and said,'I'm Jill's dad. I just want to say that I met David before Jill did because of my other daughter.' And he sat down."

"My cousin gave a horrible toast at her younger sister's wedding a few years ago. She began by saying that she never liked her sister's new husband throughout high school and that 'today he's still at the level of slightly below the scum on the bottom of a dirty waste pond.'"

"I attended a wedding where the best man commented on how the bride used to work at Hooters (which her family didn't know about) and how he was jealous of the groom for 'bagging her.'"

"During the toast the groom's dad (after many drinks) said that he was so happy for his son and his beautiful wife Sara. But his wife's name wasn't Sara, his ex-girlfriend's was."

[CAPTAIN_JACK SPARR0W]

BWG wrote:

<quoted text>
You have mail.

now you do

[God Squad Member]

Good morning, good morning, good morning.

Oh dang it! I'm going back to sleep.

[goatfarmer]

OK folks, I have decided that if it is any hotter in h311 than it is at my house today I ain't going. I don't care what anybody says.

[goatfarmer]

OK Mr. TwoPac you had your chance. I have tried to be nice about the rain but I have not had a drop in two months. Mr Biker even threatened you but nnnoooooo you would not listen. I went out today and found a disreputable gypsy and paid her an ungodly amount of money. The whole sum of $1.16. She said if you did not send me any rain in the next 24 hours that a hex would be put on you. She said that in 24 hrs. if no rain that the fleas of 2000 camels will infest your underwear. So you better beware.

[735stacey]

Speaking of wedding toasts...

I think that the best story I have ever heard along those lines was when the groom found out that his soon-to-be wife was cheating on him with the best man. He decided to go through with the wedding after all. At the reception, attended by over 100 guests, he decided to exact his revenge. He started out by making a beautiful speech that had most of the attendees in tears. Then he told each of them to reach under their chairs and retrieve the envelopes that he had personally taped under each one before the ceremony. Inside each envelope was an 8x10 glossy photo of the bride giving the best man a little "mouth work". He then told her that he would never marry such a tramp and that he was going on the honeymoon with the best man's fiancee'(also in attendance and the only person besides the groom who knew of his plans). Since they never consummated the marriage, he got his annulment and sole ownership of the $200k house they had purchased prior to the wedding.

100 8x10 enlargements....$150
Honeymoon in Hawaii.....$4000
Price of wedding and reception that the brides parents had to pay for....$25,000
Revenge on cheating best friend and fiancee'... PRICELESS.

[two pack]

goatfarmer wrote:

OK Mr. TwoPac you had your chance. I have tried to be nice about the rain but I have not had a drop in two months. Mr Biker even threatened you but nnnoooooo you would not listen. I went out today and found a disreputable gypsy and paid her an ungodly amount of money. The whole sum of $1.16. She said if you did not send me any rain in the next 24 hours that a hex would be put on you. She said that in 24 hrs. if no rain that the fleas of 2000 camels will infest your underwear. So you better beware.

Well Mr. Goatfarmer, You just wasted your money. I live in AMEN CORNER and it's curse won't work. So you and your high priced gyspy can go jump in a dry lake. ROFLMAO

[two pack]

goatfarmer wrote:

OK Mr. TwoPac you had your chance. I have tried to be nice about the rain but I have not had a drop in two months. Mr Biker even threatened you but nnnoooooo you would not listen. I went out today and found a disreputable gypsy and paid her an ungodly amount of money. The whole sum of $1.16. She said if you did not send me any rain in the next 24 hours that a hex would be put on you. She said that in 24 hrs. if no rain that the fleas of 2000 camels will infest your underwear. So you better beware.

Also for Mr. Biker, he will have rain clouds every time he gets on his bike. LOL

[rwwllms]

two pack wrote:

<quoted text>Also for Mr. Biker, he will have rain clouds every time he gets on his bike. LOL

We all just got rained on. At least those of us who are truly of the Wheel. We had a great time at this month's Meet. The Four Fs, Food, Fun, Fellowship, and Family, you can't experience it without being a part of it.

Now, what about ketchup?

[rwwllms]

Dianne,
we need to work out someway for an email exchange. Maybe you can leave a message at the Wheel's MySpace site. I would give you the url to it but I lost it. Someone else please post the url for the MySpace site.

[CAPTAIN_JACK SPARR0W]

[e-mail] there ya go diane email me

[CAPTAIN_JACK SPARR0W]

rwwllms wrote:

Dianne,
we need to work out someway for an email exchange. Maybe you can leave a message at the Wheel's MySpace site. I would give you the url to it but I lost it. Someone else please post the url for the MySpace site.

she can email me Ron