Comments
40,881 - 40,900 of 41,761 Comments Last updated Dec 7, 2012

“I'm just sayin' ......”

Since: Nov 07

Elgin, SC

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42895
Sep 7, 2010
 

Judged:

1

I saw a billboard that read:




NEED HELP, CALL JESUS
1-800-005-3787



Out of curiosity, I did.


A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.

“If you can't be a good example”

Since: Mar 07

be a warning

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42896
Sep 7, 2010
 
shovelhead wrote:
<quoted text>Do like I do on a long trip. Set the cruise control and take a nap.
I used to but the screaming from the passengers kept waking me up.

“I'm just sayin' ......”

Since: Nov 07

Elgin, SC

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42897
Sep 7, 2010
 
Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used.

She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing.'These' she explained,'Are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.'

She then asked,'What do you do in America with your old goats?'

A spry old gentleman answered,'They send us on bus tours!

“Support your Local Warlock”

Since: Feb 08

Where are we again?

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42898
Sep 7, 2010
 
5pm this saturday steves see ya there

“Don't Worry, Be Happy”

Since: Apr 07

Smile...Someone loves you!

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42899
Sep 8, 2010
 
CAPTAIN_JACK SPARR0W wrote:
5pm this saturday steves see ya there
I thought you said 04:00.
Huh, Huh, Huh.???

It's all good.
See ya at 05:00.

I hope we have a nice crowd. I don't want to have to eat alone again.
Are you bringing Gopher?
Hubba Hubba.

“Don't Worry, Be Happy”

Since: Apr 07

Smile...Someone loves you!

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42900
Sep 8, 2010
 
p.s.
Welcome back to ESTW.
I was wondering when you would get computer privileges back from "G". I was worried you had lost The Black Pearl for good. LOL

“Support your Local Warlock”

Since: Feb 08

Where are we again?

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42901
Sep 8, 2010
 
wasn't sure 4 or 5 pm I told sundance 5 pm lol oh well we will be there regardless the whole famn damily lol see yall there

“I'm just sayin' ......”

Since: Nov 07

Elgin, SC

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42902
Sep 8, 2010
 
Johnny Dollar wrote:
<quoted text>
I hope we have a nice crowd. I don't want to have to eat alone again.
You didn't eat alone. I was there too.

“Don't Worry, Be Happy”

Since: Apr 07

Smile...Someone loves you!

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42903
Sep 8, 2010
 
shovelhead wrote:
<quoted text>You didn't eat alone. I was there too.
Oops, meant alone this time. You decided to show up yet?
Last I heard you couldn't make it.
Won't be the same without you. It would be real nice if you brought "RED" with you too.
racefanrob

Danville, KY

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42904
Sep 8, 2010
 
I thought it was Ezekiel's Wheel ?

Has anyone ever read the Holy Bible ?

“I'm just sayin' ......”

Since: Nov 07

Elgin, SC

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42905
Sep 8, 2010
 
racefanrob wrote:
I thought it was Ezekiel's Wheel ?
Has anyone ever read the Holy Bible ?
Thanks for correcting us, rob.

We are, for the most part, good people who believe in God and have read the Bible.

However, this thread is not about religion. In fact, it isn't really about anything.

You're more than welcome to join us if you are just looking for good company and semi-intelligent conversation.

“Don't Worry, Be Happy”

Since: Apr 07

Smile...Someone loves you!

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42906
Sep 8, 2010
 
shovelhead wrote:
<quoted text>Thanks for correcting us, rob.
We are, for the most part, good people who believe in God and have read the Bible.
However, this thread is not about religion. In fact, it isn't really about anything.
You're more than welcome to join us if you are just looking for good company and semi-intelligent conversation.
Or even LESS then semi-intelligent conversation.
We don't want to look too bad.

“I'm just sayin' ......”

Since: Nov 07

Elgin, SC

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42907
Sep 8, 2010
 
Johnny Dollar wrote:
<quoted text>
Or even LESS then semi-intelligent conversation.
We don't want to look too bad.
I thought it sounded better than 'inane, boring, pointless, and sometimes moronic'.

At least we all seem to be in good company.

“If you can't be a good example”

Since: Mar 07

be a warning

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42908
Sep 8, 2010
 
shovelhead wrote:
<quoted text>I thought it sounded better than 'inane, boring, pointless, and sometimes moronic'.
At least we all seem to be in good company.
Hmmm, weird, my ears were just burning.

“I'm just sayin' ......”

Since: Nov 07

Elgin, SC

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42909
Sep 8, 2010
 
rwwllms wrote:
<quoted text>
Hmmm, weird, my ears were just burning.
Now I'm wondering which word it was that got your attention.

“Don't Worry, Be Happy”

Since: Apr 07

Smile...Someone loves you!

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42910
Sep 9, 2010
 
Brave man jokes...

>>
>>
>> How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
>>
>> Marry It!
>>
>> What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
>>
>> A battery has a positive side.
>>

>> What are the three fastest means of communication?
>>
>> 1) Internet
>>
>> 2) Telephone
>>
>> 3) Telawoman
>>
>>
>> What should you give a woman who has everything?
>>
>> A man to show her how to work it.
>>
>>
>>
>> (THIS ONE'S FUNNY)
>> Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
>>
>> Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
>>
>>
>>
>> (AND THIS ONE HA!)
>> How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
>>
>> Put a nipple on it.
>>
>>
>>
>> Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
>>
>> Because they don't have balls to scratch.
>>
>>
>> Why do women fake orgasms ?
>>
>> Because they think men care.
>>

>>
>>
>> If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have
>>
>> you done wrong?
>>
>> Made her chain too long
>>
>>
>>
>> (AND THIS)
>> How many men does it take to open a beer?
>>
>> None. It should be opened when she brings it.
>>
>>
>>
>> Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
>>
>> Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
>>
>>
>> Why do women have smaller feet than men?
>>
>> It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer
>>
>> to the kitchen sink.
>>
>>
>>
>> How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
>>
>> When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
>>
>>
>>
>> How do you fix a woman's watch?
>>
>> You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
>>
>>
>> (ha ha!)
>>
>> Why do men pass gas more than women?
>>
>> Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
>>
>> pressure.
>>
>>
>>
>> If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
>>
>> front door, who do you let in first?
>>
>> The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
>>
>>
>>
>> What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
>>
>> A woman who won't do what she's told
>>
>>
>> I married a Miss Right.
>>
>> I just didn't know her first name was Always.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
>>
>> 90%.
>>
>> It's called a Wedding Cake.
>>
>>
>>
>> Why do men die before their wives?
>>
>> They want to.
>>
>>
>>
>> Women will never be equal to men... until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
>>
>>
>>
>> In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
>>
>> Then God created Man and rested.
>>
>> Then God created Woman.
>>
>> Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
>>

“Don't Worry, Be Happy”

Since: Apr 07

Smile...Someone loves you!

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42911
Sep 9, 2010
 
Yeah I know..I'm in trouble, but I just couldn't resist.

“Where am I???”

Since: Feb 08

Nassau, Bahamas

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42912
Sep 9, 2010
 
Johnny Dollar wrote:
Yeah I know..I'm in trouble, but I just couldn't resist.
Ummmm, yea, really HUGE trouble!

“Please don't feed the trolls.”

Since: Apr 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42913
Sep 9, 2010
 

Judged:

1

1

1

Where's that spatula...

“I'm just sayin' ......”

Since: Nov 07

Elgin, SC

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42914
Sep 9, 2010
 

Judged:

1

Oceanview Restaurant


A group of 15-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant because they had only $6.00 among them and Jimmy Johnson, the cute boy in Social Studies, lived on that street.

10 years later, the group of 25-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the beer was cheap, the restaurant offered free snacks, the band was good, there was no cover and there were lots of cute guys.

10 years later, the group of 35-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the cosmos were good, it was right near the gym and, if they went late enough, there wouldn't be too many whiny little kids.
10 years later, the group of 45-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the martinis were big and the waiters had tight pants and nice buns.

10 years later, the group of 55-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the prices were reasonable, the wine list was good, the restaurant had windows that opened (in case of a hot flashes), and fish is good for cholesterol.

10 years later, the group of 65-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the lighting was good and the restaurant had an early bird special.

10 years later, the group of 75-years-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food was not too spicy and the restaurant was handicapped-accessible.

10 years later, the group of 85-years-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.

Tell me when this thread is updated: (Registration is not required)

Add to my Tracker Send me an email

Type in your comments below
Name
(appears on your post)
Comments
Characters left: 4000
Type the numbers you see in the image on the right:

Please note by clicking on "Post Comment" you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

12 Users are viewing the Columbia Forum right now

Search the Columbia Forum:
Title Updated Last By Comments
Malaysian consulate open to allow signing of fl... 11 hr IBU NUNUNG DI BRUNEI 3
Auto Money Title Loans Violating SC State Law (Sep '12) Wed readyreggie 20
SC SC state senator refers to candidate as 'raghead' (Jun '10) Jul 22 Lawrence Wolf 1,126
Chief Skip Holbrook Jul 21 Franky 2
Lexington Poker Ring: Where "The Tape" Came From (Aug '12) Jul 20 vuthiha 62
Allow the Mosque or Not at Ground Zero (Aug '10) Jul 17 Justice 5,653
Review: Anytime Fitness (Apr '09) Jul 17 Alan 135
•••
•••
•••
•••

Columbia Jobs

•••
Enter and win $5000
•••
•••

Columbia People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

•••

Columbia News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Columbia
•••

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]
•••