13-14 yr old girl/boyfriend going hom...
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doesnt make sense

Campbellsville, KY

#21 Nov 26, 2012
its called chaperones like way back in the day people they should be brought back
Penny for a nickle

Lexington, KY

#22 Nov 26, 2012
Apparently your home is much larger than our house was. There was never a moment that a “window” of opportunity for sexy time was open for underage premarital sex for the kids to occur at OUR house. That kind of activity is what goes on when they are sneaking to find places just to spend time with one another.

You may have misunderstood my suggestions.
I NEVER said to allow your kid or their love interest to ride the bus home with them and let them be ALONE. That would be the best way I can think of to get them on the fast track to unplanned parenthood.

You have a few miles to walk before you fully comprehend what is being said about supervision, making people welcome and having the home court advantage, thus setting the rules.
I really mean it from my heart when I wish you good luck with your child.
Be Realistic

Campbellsville, KY

#23 Dec 2, 2012
Teens are teens. You could have the strictest rules in the world, but I guarantee if they are wanting to have sexual relations with someone, they will find a way, whether or not it be in your home. My mother allowed me to bring me boyfriend home from school when I was fourteen and he was fifteen. I'm now seventeen and am neither a teen parent nor am I sexually active. It's all about the morals and values your instill in your children. Putting a tight leash on them will only make them rebellious and resentful towards you. Trust is key in any parent/child relationship. If your child hasn't given you any reason not to trust them, then why not trust them? Yes, I'm aware that they are still your babies and you want nothing to happen to them as well as you want them to stay young for as long as possible. However, the key step to letting go is letting them gradually grow up, even if it's through baby steps. It was never the fact that I didn't want to have sex, it was always the fact that my mother instilled better morals/values within me than that. Times are changing ya'll, and while we don't want to face the facts, it's right there in front of us; our society is changing as well. Less people are finding it offensive to let teens thirteen/fourteen years old hang out as "boyfriend/girlfriend. " What it comes down to is this; If you instill good values in your children while providing them with adequate supervision, there isn't anything wrong with allowing their "boyfriend/girlfriend " over. Trust your kids you guys, they're more intelligent than I see a lot of you giving them credit for.
Dreamteam792

Pataskala, OH

#24 Dec 26, 2012
Just curious, you said she will have time to socialize in her future but im just curious as to how often you, as a parent, are able to go out and socialize yourself. Id guess not very often, and ur daughter will probably end up in thay same situation. Just my 2 cents
by xmas

Cave City, KY

#25 Dec 26, 2012
13/14 yr olds there sex hormones are workening it,

just give them both a box of condoms, make sure the guy has the right size and knows how to use them!!
whodothere

AOL

#26 Dec 26, 2012
i say let her get knocked up ,...
then she can get a free apartment and free food from the government and then you can have many many grandchildren !
A JW

Cape Canaveral, FL

#27 Dec 26, 2012
Concerned Teen Parent wrote:
My daughter announced this weekend that a girl she knows from school got to bring her boyfriend home with her. Apparently they rode the bus home together. These "kids" are like 13 or 14? I honestly don't understand. I try so hard to lead by example and hold on to my "kid" being just that a "kid". Yes I understand that I can't control if they hold hands at school or sneak kisses but to allow my 13 year old daughter to bring her boyfriend home with her is promoting sex and possible pregnancy. My husband has been outraged with this because now our daughter thinks this is okay for her to do and thinks we are being old fashioned. When my husband and I were that age there was no asking can a boy/girl come home with us. We knew better to ask. We might be able to talk for a short time on the phone but that was it. My husband and I have now decided to alter some things at home because of this. After school there will be a limit on communication with our daughters boyfriend and all friends. There will be time in her future to socialize. Right now we need her to still hold onto her youth. I wish the best for these "kids" and their families and only hope no pregnancy occurs.
There are two books in print you can locate by going to www.jw.org
Click on Publications then click on Books and Brochures. Then scroll down to the books "Questions Young People ask Answers that Work" Vol 1 and Vol 2. You can read them on line or print them for future reference.
I hope this helps you to make the right decisions by discussing them with your teenager.
your girl

Elizabethtown, KY

#28 Dec 27, 2012
I was a pretty sneaky teenager. And my mom flipped if I even went to a friends house who had a brother because she knew unsupervised teens can lead to bad things. My mom would go off if she only knew now what a i snuck and did, lol. Still what i did was no where near what some of my friends were doing and their parents know-ling knew what they were doing as well. Sometimes parents joined in on the partying sexual activities ect. When I have my children I am not going to be as over bearing as my mom but instead promote that my child is open with me to let me know whats going on. She will know to ask permission and more than likely I will say heck no to her boyfriend coming over and going into her room or anything like that because too much could go down. Also I will try my best to monitor her social activities also and will probably do pop up visits to her friends houses to make sure she is not doing nothing sexual or something such as drinking or doing drugs at a young age. I am 25 now and it just amazes me on the things I see so many young and old parents let their kids do. It's crazy!!
disagree

Jackson, TN

#29 Mar 11, 2013
soo if you trust your girl/boy it shouldn't be a problem

Since: Feb 13

Location hidden

#30 Mar 12, 2013
hillbill wrote:
HEY
Romeo and Juliet were 13 & 14 ,... and nothing bad ever happened to them , right?
after all ,....this is kentuck !
& with any luck at all ,..
she will be a grandmother by the time she is 34 !
Romeo and Juliet were fictitious characters.
Agreed

Frankston, Australia

#31 Mar 23, 2013
get real wrote:
Oh please. Get over yourselves parents. If your children want to have sex they will do it. It doesn't matter if you lock them up or give them chores. Just instill some good values in them and pray they make smart decisions. Acting irrational will get you no where and I only make your children resent you.
AMEN TO THAT! I am 15 and i agree completely, my mum lets me have my boyfriend home, with rules saying the door must be kept open etc She trusts me, and we have had the talk about sex. I told her she doesnt have to worry. My mum and boyfriend get along well and trust each other. Its great. My mum also said later on in the future (17-18 years old) future. She told me to let her know if i was thinking about having sex. This way she can try and talk me out of it lr postpone it for a while and if that fails i can go on the pill. But honestly my mum has been great, i have no interest in sex, and i am very responsible for my actions. Im not having sex until i finish school no matter what. Id like to live my life sucessfully. I want to become a lawyer, and have kids after 23. I have thought out my life and am very committed to the idea of mine. You may say im young and dont know what im talking about. But at least my state of mind is correct. For you parents that dont agree with having boyfriends/girlfriends home. They are only going to be more willingly break your rules. The more you restrict her the more she will want to do. Think your actions through. Wake up. And get over yourselves. Your daughter/son will be happier and closer to you than ever before if you trust them. Some rules are ok. But banning it completely? Restricted online chatting/ phone calls? Thats too far. But stop being so hard because thats just going to pull you and your daughter/son further from you.
Back to the point, i just think its stupid to restrict your children to that extreme. Just try and see how your daughter/son would feel about it.
News

Centerville, TX

#32 Mar 30, 2013
I just don't understand parents these days
Rosetaz

Winchester, IN

#33 Sep 12, 2013
Agree wrote:
<quoted text> I have to agree 110%. The parents think they are making their daughter happy by letting her have the boyfriend come to her house. The parents are suppose to be in control but their young daughter is in control. So sad.
My daughter allows her 12 yr old daughter to have her boyfriend sleep over, even spent part of the summer with her. She's provided condoms to the boy and put her daughter on birth control. I've been told to stay away from them.
People need to know what statutory rape is and the consequences.
columbia resident

Cub Run, KY

#34 Nov 13, 2013
Rosetaz wrote:
<quoted text>
My daughter allows her 12 yr old daughter to have her boyfriend sleep over, even spent part of the summer with her. She's provided condoms to the boy and put her daughter on birth control. I've been told to stay away from them.
People need to know what statutory rape is and the consequences.
parents are proud to be their kids friend not their parents with rules. A young girl and boy that goes to my moms church has been sexually involved with the parents allowing it. But wants everyone to believe her daughter is an angel. She has a stepdad that is good to her and thinks she still a virgin.
lolz

Elizabethtown, KY

#35 Nov 13, 2013
When I was a teenager, I went to my boyfriends house and we had sex in his room...his mom would come and check on us very often but we still managed to pull it off. We would have sex outside where ever we had just enough time to get it done. Kids had sex in the ag building and other places at the high school. I know girls who have had sex in the bathroom at school (this recently). If a teen wants to have sex they are going to do it regardless of their supervision, they will find a way! Best thing to do is make sure they use protection!
Gia31

Fontana, CA

#36 May 12, 2017
All you parents posting here are acting insane. What is wrong with your kids being in a relationship? Why does it scare you so much? You guys are the same parents whose kids bolt at 18 to join the military to get some freedom and independence from their overbearing parents. Or whose kids end up pregnant at 16 cuz their parents never talked to them about how sex is natural and good and to be done SAFELY! Teens have sex becuz it is normal. It is the time that their bodies and brains are telling them it's time to take interest in the opposite sex. IMO teen sex is perfectly fine & healthy as long as it is "good sex." Meaning: 1) it is consensual on both ends; no one is pressuring the other 2) it is pleasurable & enjoyable for both parties 3) it is within the context of a loving, respectful, trusting relationship 4) it is safe and responsible; contraception is being used and being used correctly. And it is your job to make sure your kids understand the above and to raise them to believe these things so they learn to develop loving, respectful relationships and dont get taken advantage of, hurt or end up with an STI or pregnant.

Teens are expected to be adults at 18, with all the new freedoms that suddenly brings, so when does this transition from kid to adult occur? During the ages of 13 to 17 and parents wld be wise to allow this growth to occur during this time period. They aren't going to grow by being locked in a room. There is nothing wrong with having a BF or GF over to the house at 13/14. Don't you wanna get to know the kid your child is interested in and god forbid, maybe even form a relationship with him and grow to like him? Dont you want your child to learn what a healthy relationship is and to enjoy them often so they will know what they want in a life partner one day. Treating your teens like irresponsible irrational toddlers with raging hormones that need to be reigned in at every turn will only cause resentment and distance between you and your teens. Because in reality teens arent suffering from out of control hormones, they are natural and normal, ordained by evolution. I actually believe harm can be done to future sex lives if natural sexual impulses are ignored & suppressed for too long but thats a whole different can of worms. My point is that if your teen is untrustworthy or irresponsible, thats your fault as the parent. Given the proper guidance teens know how to be responsible and safe when it comes to sex and relationships. Trust them more, respect them more and give them the freedom to become who they want to become not who YOU want them to become.
Grim Reaper

Elizabethtown, KY

#37 May 12, 2017
Be Realistic wrote:
Teens are teens. You could have the strictest rules in the world, but I guarantee if they are wanting to have sexual relations with someone, they will find a way, whether or not it be in your home. My mother allowed me to bring me boyfriend home from school when I was fourteen and he was fifteen. I'm now seventeen and am neither a teen parent nor am I sexually active. It's all about the morals and values your instill in your children. Putting a tight leash on them will only make them rebellious and resentful towards you. Trust is key in any parent/child relationship. If your child hasn't given you any reason not to trust them, then why not trust them? Yes, I'm aware that they are still your babies and you want nothing to happen to them as well as you want them to stay young for as long as possible. However, the key step to letting go is letting them gradually grow up, even if it's through baby steps. It was never the fact that I didn't want to have sex, it was always the fact that my mother instilled better morals/values within me than that. Times are changing ya'll, and while we don't want to face the facts, it's right there in front of us; our society is changing as well. Less people are finding it offensive to let teens thirteen/fourteen years old hang out as "boyfriend/girlfriend. " What it comes down to is this; If you instill good values in your children while providing them with adequate supervision, there isn't anything wrong with allowing their "boyfriend/girlfriend " over. Trust your kids you guys, they're more intelligent than I see a lot of you giving them credit for.
So you are now 17 yrs old and giving advice how to be a parent,life is not always the way we plan it to be,when you get married and have children,those little ups and downs in what we call life has away of telling us that no child or no parent is perfect,so when you mature a few more years come back and tell us how it is then.... good luck!!

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