13-14 yr old girl/boyfriend going hom...

13-14 yr old girl/boyfriend going home from school with each other

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Concerned Teen Parent

Elizabethtown, KY

#1 Sep 2, 2012
My daughter announced this weekend that a girl she knows from school got to bring her boyfriend home with her. Apparently they rode the bus home together. These "kids" are like 13 or 14? I honestly don't understand. I try so hard to lead by example and hold on to my "kid" being just that a "kid". Yes I understand that I can't control if they hold hands at school or sneak kisses but to allow my 13 year old daughter to bring her boyfriend home with her is promoting sex and possible pregnancy. My husband has been outraged with this because now our daughter thinks this is okay for her to do and thinks we are being old fashioned. When my husband and I were that age there was no asking can a boy/girl come home with us. We knew better to ask. We might be able to talk for a short time on the phone but that was it. My husband and I have now decided to alter some things at home because of this. After school there will be a limit on communication with our daughters boyfriend and all friends. There will be time in her future to socialize. Right now we need her to still hold onto her youth. I wish the best for these "kids" and their families and only hope no pregnancy occurs.
hillbill

AOL

#2 Sep 2, 2012
HEY
Romeo and Juliet were 13 & 14 ,... and nothing bad ever happened to them , right?
after all ,....this is kentuck !

& with any luck at all ,..
she will be a grandmother by the time she is 34 !
Agree

Elizabethtown, KY

#3 Sep 2, 2012
Concerned Teen Parent wrote:
My daughter announced this weekend that a girl she knows from school got to bring her boyfriend home with her. Apparently they rode the bus home together. These "kids" are like 13 or 14? I honestly don't understand. I try so hard to lead by example and hold on to my "kid" being just that a "kid". Yes I understand that I can't control if they hold hands at school or sneak kisses but to allow my 13 year old daughter to bring her boyfriend home with her is promoting sex and possible pregnancy. My husband has been outraged with this because now our daughter thinks this is okay for her to do and thinks we are being old fashioned. When my husband and I were that age there was no asking can a boy/girl come home with us. We knew better to ask. We might be able to talk for a short time on the phone but that was it. My husband and I have now decided to alter some things at home because of this. After school there will be a limit on communication with our daughters boyfriend and all friends. There will be time in her future to socialize. Right now we need her to still hold onto her youth. I wish the best for these "kids" and their families and only hope no pregnancy occurs.
I have to agree 110%. The parents think they are making their daughter happy by letting her have the boyfriend come to her house. The parents are suppose to be in control but their young daughter is in control. So sad.
lady

Rineyville, KY

#4 Sep 2, 2012
A few after school chores, then homework, could solve part of these problems.
Shot gun daddy

Elizabethtown, KY

#5 Sep 2, 2012
Easy solution in my home it's called NO! Simple and plan. We are the parents not my children. My children don't even ask about bringing boys or girls home. Made it clear along time ago this isn't a subject in our home. I see these patents out in public running around with their young teenage kids and along side them is a boyfriend or girlfriend. I stop and wonder sometimes do they really get it? Wake up patents you once had those feelings to! Kids are too young to make those types of decisions.
hahahah

Trinity, TX

#6 Sep 2, 2012
hillbill wrote:
HEY
Romeo and Juliet were 13 & 14 ,... and nothing bad ever happened to them , right?
after all ,....this is kentuck !
& with any luck at all ,..
she will be a grandmother by the time she is 34 !
don't you wish you could still remember the days when YOU were 34?
Daddy with rules

Elizabethtown, KY

#7 Sep 2, 2012
Shot gun daddy wrote:
Easy solution in my home it's called NO! Simple and plan. We are the parents not my children. My children don't even ask about bringing boys or girls home. Made it clear along time ago this isn't a subject in our home. I see these patents out in public running around with their young teenage kids and along side them is a boyfriend or girlfriend. I stop and wonder sometimes do they really get it? Wake up patents you once had those feelings to! Kids are too young to make those types of decisions.
My wife likes to give in to our 12 year old girl and I decided I was the daddy and I say what goes. No hair coloring. No make up. No tight short shorts. Absolutely no mini skirts. No string shirts only tshirts. And if she wants a tan she can sit in the sun after chores and homework. As far as a boyfriend she better just keep him at school. Got the keys in my pocket for the gun cabinet.
get real

Bardstown, KY

#8 Sep 2, 2012
Oh please. Get over yourselves parents. If your children want to have sex they will do it. It doesn't matter if you lock them up or give them chores. Just instill some good values in them and pray they make smart decisions. Acting irrational will get you no where and I only make your children resent you.
hillbill

AOL

#9 Sep 2, 2012
hey
in this "obama economy " ,... maybe you should hope she gets pregnant ,....
she will then be entitled to free housing ,...
free food,...
free health insurance
and even free college and day care ---
and even get a free cell phone to boot ---
along with a EBC card ,..
where she can get cash out of the ATM,.......
she cant get all that stuff ,...if she works a local job ,....
so in the scheme of things ,...maybe they are better off than the rest of you working stiffs ---
Thank you

Elizabethtown, KY

#10 Sep 2, 2012
get real wrote:
Oh please. Get over yourselves parents. If your children want to have sex they will do it. It doesn't matter if you lock them up or give them chores. Just instill some good values in them and pray they make smart decisions. Acting irrational will get you no where and I only make your children resent you.
Very well spoken. Let me guess no kids? Oh or perhaps you already have a kid with a kid? Irrational? Good values? I think it is very good when irrational parents try to instill good values in our kids and it starts by realizing they are the kids and we are the adults. Parents with good values don't or shouldn't allow their young teenage kids bring their boy or girlfriends home from school on the bus!
Daddy with rules

Elizabethtown, KY

#11 Sep 2, 2012
get real wrote:
Oh please. Get over yourselves parents. If your children want to have sex they will do it. It doesn't matter if you lock them up or give them chores. Just instill some good values in them and pray they make smart decisions. Acting irrational will get you no where and I only make your children resent you.
I instill good values everyday and yes I pray that my children will make good decisions but when they are still children? I don't lock them up and don't feel that I am irrational but I also don't promote sex by allowing my kid to have a chance to have sex under my roof. I don't take my my kid on a date with their kid date. When their date can drive and pay for a meal might talk.
Wondering

Elizabethtown, KY

#12 Sep 2, 2012
Concerned Teen Parent wrote:
My daughter announced this weekend that a girl she knows from school got to bring her boyfriend home with her. Apparently they rode the bus home together. These "kids" are like 13 or 14? I honestly don't understand. I try so hard to lead by example and hold on to my "kid" being just that a "kid". Yes I understand that I can't control if they hold hands at school or sneak kisses but to allow my 13 year old daughter to bring her boyfriend home with her is promoting sex and possible pregnancy. My husband has been outraged with this because now our daughter thinks this is okay for her to do and thinks we are being old fashioned. When my husband and I were that age there was no asking can a boy/girl come home with us. We knew better to ask. We might be able to talk for a short time on the phone but that was it. My husband and I have now decided to alter some things at home because of this. After school there will be a limit on communication with our daughters boyfriend and all friends. There will be time in her future to socialize. Right now we need her to still hold onto her youth. I wish the best for these "kids" and their families and only hope no pregnancy occurs.
I suppose there has to be a permission slip signed by the parents for the child to ride the bus? Does both set of parents have to sign? My question is what if the one going has one but the one that's taking them home doesn't. If their parents don't know and are not at home this could be a problem. Seems like they should be picked up at school by family verses riding the bus. Almost like an escort or taxi service.
yes

Burkesville, KY

#13 Sep 3, 2012
get real wrote:
Oh please. Get over yourselves parents. If your children want to have sex they will do it. It doesn't matter if you lock them up or give them chores. Just instill some good values in them and pray they make smart decisions. Acting irrational will get you no where and I only make your children resent you.
(get real) you must not have kids.
penny for a nickle

Elizabethtown, KY

#14 Sep 3, 2012
I suggest you make your home a welcoming place for all your child's friends both male & female. That way you have the home court advantage. You set the rules, times and conditions of visits. Provide beverages and snacks that you can fit into your budget. The cost of extra kids around is a small price to pay to know they are being properly supervised. Watch ball games, movies and other free tv entertainment all together. Play video games, pool, b-ball, fish, swim, bbq, cook...just do the activities all together. Have more "all together" time and no unsupervised "alone time". Make it fun and not tense and awkward.
By going to the trouble of making your home the hang out place you have much more say so about what goes on in your childs life and it will influence their immature choices. You are chaperoning without the kids realizing it if the entire situation is pleasant and fun. The bottom line is it's your home, your rules.
Karan

Central District, Hong Kong

#15 Nov 23, 2012
Where do you guys live? Which country?
Karan

Central District, Hong Kong

#16 Nov 23, 2012
Where you guys live? Which country ?
a daddy

Mammoth Cave, KY

#17 Nov 23, 2012
They aint no way in the world that Im ever gonna let my little girl bring her boyfriend home. Im not an overly strict parent but we do have rules and if you break the rules you get in trouble. Parents need to step up and be parents not best friends teach your kids right from wrong and instill good morals and values and everything should be ok. And to the person that said make your home the hangout yeah right Im gonna guess your either an older lady or a yuppie girl because teenage kids dont want to hang out and eat cookies and drink milk unless their high
Penny for a nickle

Lexington, KY

#18 Nov 25, 2012
I have never tried to be “best friends” with the kids. I am the parent. I set the rules and can set the tone at my house.
You sir are sadly mistaken if you think simply teaching right from wrong and instilling good morals and values and everything “SHOULD” be ok. You have to be IN your child’s life. You can dole out the rules all you want but I guarantee you when they are out from home and away for you they will test those rules. I guarantee you she will at some point spend time with her boyfriend. If you don’t want them hanging out at your house & being supervised, that is totally your decision. I truly hope your daughter doesn’t take that test and it come back positive for being pregnant. I preferred my kids to be supervised.
The entire idea of making people welcome in your home apparently went way over your head. I never mentioned milk & cookies. What I was attempting to point out is with any type of entertaining guest (adults or kids), I like to make all of our family friends to feel welcomed, but within our budget.
Get back with us after your daughter graduates from college and is a self sufficient working adult…
a daddy

Mammoth Cave, KY

#19 Nov 25, 2012
Penny for a nickle wrote:
I have never tried to be “best friends” with the kids. I am the parent. I set the rules and can set the tone at my house.
You sir are sadly mistaken if you think simply teaching right from wrong and instilling good morals and values and everything “SHOULD” be ok. You have to be IN your child’s life. You can dole out the rules all you want but I guarantee you when they are out from home and away for you they will test those rules. I guarantee you she will at some point spend time with her boyfriend. If you don’t want them hanging out at your house & being supervised, that is totally your decision. I truly hope your daughter doesn’t take that test and it come back positive for being pregnant. I preferred my kids to be supervised.
The entire idea of making people welcome in your home apparently went way over your head. I never mentioned milk & cookies. What I was attempting to point out is with any type of entertaining guest (adults or kids), I like to make all of our family friends to feel welcomed, but within our budget.
Get back with us after your daughter graduates from college and is a self sufficient working adult…
And that proved my point about you being an older lady. Now dont get me wrong when the time comes I will let my daughters boyfriend come to the house and they will not be left unsupervised but I am not gonna make my house their hangout for all of their friends times have changed. My family goes to church every sunday and my children actually read the bible and they know whats right and whats wrong and I know that they will eventually test the rules as all kids will but we have done our best to instill good values and morals in our children. And Im not gonna argue with you about this because we both think that we know whats best for our own children but I am gonna say that at some point when you had all these kids at your house hanging out that you was not with them the whole entire time and you gave them a window to do things with their bf or gf when you wasnt with them. And the way kids are today I cant see them wanting to hang out and have fun with somebodys parents sitting right there in the room with them. Say what you want I dont really care but Im teaching my kids not to be wh*res. Play dates are good for them when their little but when their teenagers there aint any way Im gonna let my daughters bf ride the bus home with them and let them be alone if you do you are asking for her to get preganet and your saying that its ok. Be a parent and a friend not just a friend.
boney

AOL

#20 Nov 25, 2012
as long as they just have oral sex ,...it is ok

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