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anonymous

United States

#1 Mar 20, 2012
Please someone who is knowledgable and knows about what happens in the process of getting child support help me. Okay I have a teenage son that his father has never paid one dime of childsupport. We have never been to court and we just last year had the paternity test done (that I paid for) oh and the father has an 18 year old son in another state that he owes for. My question is how do you get all this backpay if its not there to get and I dont see the need to put somebody in jail over it. My son doesnt want any part of staying with his father, is there any chance if i pursue this to get whats rightfully owed that he would be forced to see the father ? Basically what Im asking is How Do You Squeeze Blood Out Of A Turnip ?
Helpful tips

United States

#2 Mar 20, 2012
Do you have a valid court order that states how much the father is to pay in child support? If not you will have to hire an attorney to get that done. If you have a court order that states how much the father should have been paying you can simply go the dept. Of humans services on north Cumberland street and the district attorneys office can help up you free of charge to collect the support. His father will have to pay all of the child support arrearages he owes until they are finally paid. Your son can testify in court he would rather not see his father but in most cases the father will want to see his child when he pays support. Hope this helps some.
anonymous

United States

#4 Mar 20, 2012
Helpful tips wrote:
Do you have a valid court order that states how much the father is to pay in child support? If not you will have to hire an attorney to get that done. If you have a court order that states how much the father should have been paying you can simply go the dept. Of humans services on north Cumberland street and the district attorneys office can help up you free of charge to collect the support. His father will have to pay all of the child support arrearages he owes until they are finally paid. Your son can testify in court he would rather not see his father but in most cases the father will want to see his child when he pays support. Hope this helps some.
Its complicated and the father is slick and smooth talking Trust Me. I just hate that I even told my son now. He didnt find out until he was 11. I didnt think I would need the child support but I was in an accident and now I do because im disabled. He will tell me that I dont even want to mess with him because he will take me down and its just stupid because I believe it for some reason. Is it true that I could get assistance through like DHS and them not even ask who the father is if I had statements saying it wasnt in the childs best interest. Idk what to do I feel like its owed to us. When I got pregnant I moved 50 miles away and he says that he will say I left with no address, but he sure didnt try to find us either.
Helpful tips

United States

#5 Mar 20, 2012
Has this ever been to court over the child support? In other words, do you and this man have a parenting plan for this child?
Helpful tips

United States

#6 Mar 20, 2012
Sorry that repeated so many times. Computer is acting funny.
anonymous

United States

#7 Mar 21, 2012
No ..... scared to take him to court. Now at one time he drew up his own parenting plan for me to sign which was to his advantage of course and I didnt sign it.
whowhatwhen

United States

#8 Mar 21, 2012
anonymous wrote:
<quoted text>Its complicated and the father is slick and smooth talking Trust Me. I just hate that I even told my son now. He didnt find out until he was 11. I didnt think I would need the child support but I was in an accident and now I do because im disabled. He will tell me that I dont even want to mess with him because he will take me down and its just stupid because I believe it for some reason. Is it true that I could get assistance through like DHS and them not even ask who the father is if I had statements saying it wasnt in the childs best interest. Idk what to do I feel like its owed to us. When I got pregnant I moved 50 miles away and he says that he will say I left with no address, but he sure didnt try to find us either.
I hate women like you that only use your kid for money. I have paid child support for my daughter all her life and have been a part of her life, when she was born me and her mother made all the neccesary arraingments to make my daughter happy. When I first read your post I figured you were on welfare and now that your kid is almost grown and it will stop so you have to find other ways to get free money. You should of got a DNA test when your son was born and started child support then. If he was a dead beat dad then the courts would of dealt with him,(knowing you he didn't even know he had a son) and you didn't have to pay for the DNA test he would have if it turned out it was his kid. And you probably said bad stuff about his father and that is why he doesn't want to see him. You should of gave the father a chance when your son was born and let your son figure out what kind of guy he was. And if he didn't pay for another kid he had that's none of your bussiness. How do you even know? And if you knew why did you have a kid with him? Woman like you make me mad cause all it is is you using your son for money. And if I was a judge I would say ok the kid is his but you only get child support from now till he's 18. NO BACK PAY. You are to blame for your situation and no one should feel sorry for you. And your probably lazy and don't want to work so you find other ways to get free money. Why don't you think of your son instead of free money. Like I said when he was born is when you should of taken care of everything. You are a sad excuse for a woman. And if you don't like my opinion oh well you got it. And I know theres a lot of people who feel the same way I do. And if your looking for people to feel sorry for you Topix is not the place. And if I was the father I wouldn't want anything now to do with the kid I know that's mean but you took away all those child hood things a dad can do with his son.

Since: Mar 12

Location hidden

#9 Mar 21, 2012
anonymous wrote:
<quoted text>Its complicated and the father is slick and smooth talking Trust Me. I just hate that I even told my son now. He didnt find out until he was 11. I didnt think I would need the child support but I was in an accident and now I do because im disabled. He will tell me that I dont even want to mess with him because he will take me down and its just stupid because I believe it for some reason. Is it true that I could get assistance through like DHS and them not even ask who the father is if I had statements saying it wasnt in the childs best interest. Idk what to do I feel like its owed to us. When I got pregnant I moved 50 miles away and he says that he will say I left with no address, but he sure didnt try to find us either.
yes you can get assistance through dhs and they will want to know who the father is and will want to collect but if you can prove that its not in the best interest then they will not pursue it. I'm not sure exactly what they will consider as best interest but i do know that if you have been threatened to be harmed that they will not go after him because i had to to that once myself. mine busted my lip and strangled me in the living room in front of my 3yr old and said he would kill me before he ever paid child support. and he has never paid support for that very reason. but i had police reports n pics to back my story.
Helpful tips

Charlotte, NC

#10 Mar 21, 2012
whowhatwhen wrote:
<quoted text>
I hate women like you that only use your kid for money. I have paid child support for my daughter all her life and have been a part of her life, when she was born me and her mother made all the neccesary arraingments to make my daughter happy. When I first read your post I figured you were on welfare and now that your kid is almost grown and it will stop so you have to find other ways to get free money. You should of got a DNA test when your son was born and started child support then. If he was a dead beat dad then the courts would of dealt with him,(knowing you he didn't even know he had a son) and you didn't have to pay for the DNA test he would have if it turned out it was his kid. And you probably said bad stuff about his father and that is why he doesn't want to see him. You should of gave the father a chance when your son was born and let your son figure out what kind of guy he was. And if he didn't pay for another kid he had that's none of your bussiness. How do you even know? And if you knew why did you have a kid with him? Woman like you make me mad cause all it is is you using your son for money. And if I was a judge I would say ok the kid is his but you only get child support from now till he's 18. NO BACK PAY. You are to blame for your situation and no one should feel sorry for you. And your probably lazy and don't want to work so you find other ways to get free money. Why don't you think of your son instead of free money. Like I said when he was born is when you should of taken care of everything. You are a sad excuse for a woman. And if you don't like my opinion oh well you got it. And I know theres a lot of people who feel the same way I do. And if your looking for people to feel sorry for you Topix is not the place. And if I was the father I wouldn't want anything now to do with the kid I know that's mean but you took away all those child hood things a dad can do with his son.
OMG, just a damn man to say something like this. First, let me say, this woman may not have had the money to begin with to pursue collecting child support. Do you know how much an attorney costs? This woman may have also didn't want to pursue the issue so she wouldn't risk not having our child on a daily basis. Do you understand how emotional it is to not have your child every single day? You are pathetic and very closed minded. Grow up! This woman is going through hell and doesn't need a dope like you telling her what you think!
whowhatwhen

Charlotte, NC

#11 Mar 21, 2012
Helpful tips wrote:
<quoted text>OMG, just a damn man to say something like this. First, let me say, this woman may not have had the money to begin with to pursue collecting child support. Do you know how much an attorney costs? This woman may have also didn't want to pursue the issue so she wouldn't risk not having our child on a daily basis. Do you understand how emotional it is to not have your child every single day? You are pathetic and very closed minded. Grow up! This woman is going through hell and doesn't need a dope like you telling her what you think!
Have you ever thought that a real father would have wanted to see his son to. It's about the child not money or playing games. I'm not closed minded, there are ways to get help in getting child support and DNA tests without an attorney. And if she didn't want the truth then she wouldn't have aired her bussiness. You don't think a man goes through hell not knowing he has a kid or getting to see them. It goes both ways. I see her as being selfish and out for just money. She was part in making her son to. She moved away probably didn't tell him she was even pregnat and yes that's selfish on her part. Reread what I said, she should of done everything in the beginning there are resources that don't cost money and make the man pay if it's his kid. But now she says oh poor me after all these years I'm broke and want free money, instead of being a real woman that cared enough for her son to start when he was born.
whowhatwhen

Charlotte, NC

#12 Mar 21, 2012
Helpful tips wrote:
<quoted text>OMG, just a damn man to say something like this. First, let me say, this woman may not have had the money to begin with to pursue collecting child support. Do you know how much an attorney costs? This woman may have also didn't want to pursue the issue so she wouldn't risk not having our child on a daily basis. Do you understand how emotional it is to not have your child every single day? You are pathetic and very closed minded. Grow up! This woman is going through hell and doesn't need a dope like you telling her what you think!
So go OMG yourself. I believe in both parents raising a child and making that child happy. I believe in child support. But what I hate is when women lie and play games and all about money instead of the child. And coming after a man after all these years that's stupid, she should of had the respect of her son to let him know his dad from the beginning and letting him decide what he thinks of him himself. He had every right to know his son just like she did.
Helpful tips

Charlotte, NC

#13 Mar 21, 2012
Is it possible his dad was an abuser? Loser? Convict? Just saying..
anonymous

United States

#14 Mar 21, 2012
To Who What When let me explain my situation a little better okay...I have ALWAYS worked and I repeat always. I am 38 years old and I singlehandedly raised a wonderful 19 year old daughter WITH NO CHILD SUPPORT OR ASSISTANCE whose father was an abusive alcoholic and cheated on me repeatedly until I had enough and thought whats good for the goose is good for the gander years ago. I started dating my sons father then WHOOPS to my surprise found out he was married. But heard the same song and dance that pretty much every cheating husband says about how miserable they are and how they want a divorce. I was asked to get an abortion and I dont believe in that (every child deserves a chance)! So I left and ended it to save that mans marriage. Oh and I am not the only MISTRESS he has. He was cheating on his wife with me and me with somebody else. If she hasnt had enough of him by now OH WELL ! So YES I MADE A MISTAKE and MY SON yes I said MY SON aint the mistake that relationship was. The man would rather get in a tree and tell a lie than stand on the ground and tell the TRUTH. I dont ask for nothing I paid for the DNA test last year with a promise to be repaid. So dont judge til you have been there. I have heard the man threaten to kill his very first wife from another state over child support so YES I am SCARED TO DEATH. And 2500 for a good lawyer aint cheap.
anonymous

United States

#15 Mar 21, 2012
And I didnt say I wanted his money ! It was a simple question how do you get it WITHOUT causing a problem I have paid and paid and paid til I feel like its HIS TURN. Oh and don't worry I have worked enough that I have paid enough into the system and dont need a FREE handout as you call it. I can pass a drug test but I dont believe HE can put it that way.
anonymous

United States

#16 Mar 21, 2012
whowhatwhen wrote:
<quoted text>
I hate women like you that only use your kid for money. I have paid child support for my daughter all her life and have been a part of her life, when she was born me and her mother made all the neccesary arraingments to make my daughter happy. When I first read your post I figured you were on welfare and now that your kid is almost grown and it will stop so you have to find other ways to get free money. You should of got a DNA test when your son was born and started child support then. If he was a dead beat dad then the courts would of dealt with him,(knowing you he didn't even know he had a son) and you didn't have to pay for the DNA test he would have if it turned out it was his kid. And you probably said bad stuff about his father and that is why he doesn't want to see him. You should of gave the father a chance when your son was born and let your son figure out what kind of guy he was. And if he didn't pay for another kid he had that's none of your bussiness. How do you even know? And if you knew why did you have a kid with him? Woman like you make me mad cause all it is is you using your son for money. And if I was a judge I would say ok the kid is his but you only get child support from now till he's 18. NO BACK PAY. You are to blame for your situation and no one should feel sorry for you. And your probably lazy and don't want to work so you find other ways to get free money. Why don't you think of your son instead of free money. Like I said when he was born is when you should of taken care of everything. You are a sad excuse for a woman. And if you don't like my opinion oh well you got it. And I know theres a lot of people who feel the same way I do. And if your looking for people to feel sorry for you Topix is not the place. And if I was the father I wouldn't want anything now to do with the kid I know that's mean but you took away all those child hood things a dad can do with his son.
And I'm glad that you can say that you were a part of your daughters life, but I cant say the same for my children's fathers okay. And I got on topix to find out what goes on when you get child support because trust me Im not the kind of woman that MAKES YOU SICK. If its to big of a hassle I would say FORGET IT!
Pity Party

United States

#17 Mar 21, 2012
If ppl only knew who you are
cocky

United States

#18 Mar 21, 2012
Pity Party wrote:
If ppl only knew who you are
Why dont all these men leave this lady alone. Gosh I read through all these posts and its going to be men for men and women for women. Everybody knows that. Just use your instincts on this and give it to God.
Helpful tips

Charlotte, NC

#19 Mar 21, 2012
Good lord! People have no damn clue! Whoever this lady is I am sure she has her reasons and I'm not going to jump on the bandwagon and cast stones.
the daughter

United States

#20 Mar 21, 2012
Look people my mother posted on here for advice in a situation she doesnt know how to handle and has got some good advice and idk who the one running her down is It almost sounds like the trashbag that is my little 13 year old brothers sperm donor He put her through the ringer and took her foor alot of money as well and she has worked to provide for me and my brother very well She didnt get any support from my father and I can even remember her working 2 jobs so I could have things such as cheerleading and a car it wasnt a new one but i appreciated it and i also remember the beatings that she took from my father most of all i know her unconditional love then she met mr player and thats what hes known for as far as the situation goes i dont think she would have ever said anything but when i turned like 16 i started asking questions cause i remember her dating him is it right no and she knows that do not bash our mother she thought someone might have been through something like this cause shes scared to death of this manipulator i do not want my brother around him but i want him to pay and like i said no we havent ever been on welfare or gave handouts and the one that said if we only knew who she is well i say if you only knew who he was if i said the last name you could google it and be shocked he has sued more people than you can imagine and dont judge and you wont be judged ive always been taught that i will soon be 20 and my mother is my best friend always has been always will be and we cant help that the fathers havent been in our lives we have turned out just fine it was their choice not ours she has cried and cried over certain opinions on here but oh well have a good evening and thanks for some of the helpful info oh and pity you you should be only lucky to know who my mom is cause i dont think you have a clue
Helpful tips

Charlotte, NC

#21 Mar 21, 2012
My advise would be for your mom to start at the dept of human services office on north Cumberland street first. If she can't get help there, she will probably need an attorney to help her get the child support going for your brother. If the dept of human services can't help, let me know. I know an attorney who charges reasonably for situations like this and she won't have to pay over $750 for retainer fees. Good luck to your whole family,

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