Are you lonely? Ways to escape isolation, loneliness, and rejection.
Posted in the Clarksville Forum
#1 May 12, 2009
Loneliness is a very powerful emotion. It can lead to depression, illness, even suicide. Although it may often hit the old, sick or handicapped people, it is very common among young people too.
It is certainly true that in many countries, modern culture emphasises the individual person, and not the group or family. There is often pressure to be 'self-contained'. Many more young people live alone, often away from family or friends because of work or college. The pressures of life may not leave enough time to make good relationships. Modern culture, in TV, films and books, tells us that the only meaningful relationship is a sexual or romantic one. It isn't true, but we believe it.If we do not have such a relationship, we feel a failure. Or we try to find meaning in these relationships, but often fail. And if these relationships are private and closed, leaving no room for other friendships, then when they end, we have no 'real','ordinary' friends to turn to.
# Remember, you are not the only one to feel this way - perhaps 25% of the people around you feel the same. So make the first step!
# Do you have an interest or hobby? Find a group or society with this interest and join it.
# Don't look for the answer to loneliness in a sexual relationship. Many people, especially girls, move from one quick sexual relationship to another, desperate to find closeness and meaning. The sort of people they find usually only want the sex part of the relationship, and do not offer more in return. You are worth more than this! See Dominica's story at the bottom of this page.
# Even in a stable long-term relationship or marriage, you should still not expect your partner to meet all of your emotional needs. They should certainly meet many of your needs, because your partner should be your best friend. But you should also have a network of good relationships with other friends, giving and taking help and support.
# It can be easy to live out our lives through the imaginary relationships in films, TV, books, or even arm-length relationships on the Internet. These aren't real! TV and film characters do not act and talk like real people! It is an imaginary world, very different from the real one. Live in the real world!
Here are some ideas to think about:
1: To be wanted and needed, is a big answer to loneliness. Is there any way you can help other people? Can you volunteer to do something? Hospital visiting, visiting old people, assist an advice centre, an inner city help program - the list is endless. Or just learn to be a listening person who can understand how other people feel, and help them. In helping other people, we find friends and lose loneliness!
2: Don't wait for someone to phone (or write/email) you - you contact them. And if they seem too busy, it doesn't mean they are rejecting you. Try another time!
3: Don't drink too much - it may take away feelings of loneliness for a few hours, but does not answer the real problem.
(find a friend Visit the website link below)
Since: Apr 12
#2 Apr 16, 2012
Most kids feel lonely because of their parents, some feel lonely because of friends, and some just cant find the right loved one. when parents work all day to make money to buy things for their children to play with and their children still arent happy, thats a sign that they want their parents, their parents are never there and its depressing. Parents need to relize that in this day of time, kids need them.
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