Very concerned about youth home

Can anyone tell me anything about Pressley Ridge at Laurel Park. It is near Clarksburg, Wv. I have a child there, and feel that I am getting the run-around as to how my child is doing. I see no improvement in my child and know that the sytem is being played. There seems to be no consequences to bad behavior that I can see. I have heard the child talk back to counselors, go over on phone time, punch walls, and make threats. Still nothing seems to be done, so I wonder: Are they even trying to better the problem behaviors. I have tried to talk to them about my concerns, but seem to get brushed off. Anyone who knows anything about the facility, please clue me in. Thanks

husbandwife

My husband and I would be glad to give you some info about LP. As it happens, I used to work there not too long ago and my husband was there as a teenage.

As a tc(teacher counselor is what they call their workers), it was very frusterating. By far the most frusterating job I've had yet. Firstly, how long has the child been there?

A lot of people take these jobs to truly help, but sometimes it's not the right place. I honestly wasn't able to work in a facility where there are ONLY 2 adults to watch over 12 kids at once. That's just too much to handle and if 1 kid rebels and you have to restrain, you just have to hope and pray the other kids behanve. But if all 12 want to 'flip out' at once, there's nothing that can be done but call for back up on the radio that is carried.

Don't get me wrong, there really are some counselors around that truly want to help. But then you have the counselors that are constantly trying to find a reason to restrain the kid. They will intentionally push buttons and push kids to the max to get the kid to give them a reason to be restrained. Then you have the things they call "huddles". These are by far the biggest joke I've ever seen. I've known kids to stand in these circles for hours at a time. All to get a kid to admit to something. Eventually the kid caves in and just admits to it so they can move on to something else.

My husband and I were wondering if you'd be willing to share what's going on with your son, not personal info or anything like that, but why he is at LP and if it's just a behavior issue or violence and an age range. Between by my work history and my husband's first hand knowledge, we may be able to reccomend a better facility that may give you better results.

To make a very long story short, LP is more or less a joke, unless you have simple problems with your kid like not wanting to clean his room or do his homework. Simply put, there is not enough staff to even begin helping those kids.

Dave

Thank You both for your input. This child is a 14 year girl. She has physically tried to "jump" her mother. Encouraged younger kids to break the law as well as household rules. She has snuck out at night, sneaks alcolhol, smokes, and has brought older teenage boys into the home at night while the rest of the house is sleeping. She is very disrespectful, and accepts no blame for her actions. I had hoped PR would do something to help her, but I see no improvement, and can't see anyone at PR holding her accountable for the things she has done since being admitted. While there she talks back, yells, smarts off, has punched a wall, argues with one particular teacher daily, and so on. Her "chief" has sided with her, against said teacher, and encouraged her to fight the teacher's authority. Her "chief" avoids answering direct questions about some rules and promises that have been broken to me. All I want is answers, and for someone to help me and my daughter. To date, I don't see over-correction, I see no correction.

“Dont sing it, bring it.”

Since: Nov 08

733

Probably should have gotten started on parenting before she was 14. It is not the childs fault it is the parents.

Dave

razor u are so smart if we were all as smart as u the world would be a better place i think i know that but thanks for ur input

Dave

just so u know razor i just got my kid from her mom a little over a year ago where she was let go to do as she wanted with no rules. so that is what i have to work with just so u know

joe dogs

Judged:

I have heard this argument at least several times before that the behaviour of the child is the fault of the parents. I don't accept this argument as being universally true. Genetics often enough plays a part in the behaviour of any child. All behaviour is not learned behaviour. Cultural influences also play a serious part in the behaviour of not only children but all people. Hence, for this and many other reasons I cannot accept the argument that the parents are responsible for the behaviour of the child. Everyone has known people who are parents that have problems with their child notwithstanding the fact that the parents seem to have done everything they could to raise the child in the best possible way.

“Dont sing it, bring it.”

Since: Nov 08

733

Dave wrote:

razor u are so smart if we were all as smart as u the world would be a better place i think i know that but thanks for ur input

I agree.

“Dont sing it, bring it.”

Since: Nov 08

733

Dave wrote:

just so u know razor i just got my kid from her mom a little over a year ago where she was let go to do as she wanted with no rules. so that is what i have to work with just so u know

Well then you should have had a little more involvement in your daughters life sooner instead of expecting the mother to be the one making all the rules.

“Dont sing it, bring it.”

Since: Nov 08

733

joe dogs wrote:

I have heard this argument at least several times before that the behaviour of the child is the fault of the parents. I don't accept this argument as being universally true. Genetics often enough plays a part in the behaviour of any child. All behaviour is not learned behaviour. Cultural influences also play a serious part in the behaviour of not only children but all people. Hence, for this and many other reasons I cannot accept the argument that the parents are responsible for the behaviour of the child. Everyone has known people who are parents that have problems with their child notwithstanding the fact that the parents seem to have done everything they could to raise the child in the best possible way.

I strongly disagree. Cultural influences?? Lets remember this is rural WV, not the ghetto. We don't have like gangs or anything. Except that group of teens in Stealey that used to spray paint cars. They were bad ass, haha.

Genetics...negative. Im not buying that. Parents these days are pussy's. You need to be the parent, lay down the law and enforce it with an iron fist.

K_Nash

Since: Nov 09

Wheeling, WV

Peole usually turn out alot like their parents. It is pretty simple. You are a product of your surrondings.

husbandwife

Hey Dave, my husband and I are sorry that you're getting bullshit responses from people who have no clue what you're going through. People don't need to respond unless they have something helpful. Point is, the situation doesn't need blamed on anyone. It is what it is and now it needs fixed before she could potentially come home pregnant at such a young age. My husband has a suggestion for you, but it's going to involve some hard work. He had a really rough life growing up due to NO FAULT OF HIS OWN (regardless of what razr said, kids end up in the system because of parents too) and was in several facilities throughout the east coast and he can honestly say that only ONE has truly helped him. The name of the place is Cornell Abraxus LDP in South Mountain PA. The website is http://cornellcompanies.com/pages/statefacili... He said it is a really intensive program but without he, he would have ended up in jail.

Some info about the place: He said the place is really strict and he can guarantee you 115% that she WILL listen. While there, you have to ask permission just to stand up from sitting in your chair. You basiclly have to ask permission to do anything. He said to give them a call and talk with a representitive to get more details but he said one of the most important things of this program is to make her finish it. No matter how much she begs to leave (and she will, because she obviously does no want to listen) don't take her out of the program early or it won't help her. Also, he said to make sure you don't tell her anything about the program because he said if he would have known, he would have ran away. Also, the program will also provide transportation and such if driving is an issue.

I hope this is some type of help, if you're interested in more information or just want to talk without reading the other bs people leave, we can make an arrangement to exchange emails or something if you'd like.

Dave wrote:

Thank You both for your input. This child is a 14 year girl. She has physically tried to "jump" her mother. Encouraged younger kids to break the law as well as household rules. She has snuck out at night, sneaks alcolhol, smokes, and has brought older teenage boys into the home at night while the rest of the house is sleeping. She is very disrespectful, and accepts no blame for her actions. I had hoped PR would do something to help her, but I see no improvement, and can't see anyone at PR holding her accountable for the things she has done since being admitted. While there she talks back, yells, smarts off, has punched a wall, argues with one particular teacher daily, and so on. Her "chief" has sided with her, against said teacher, and encouraged her to fight the teacher's authority. Her "chief" avoids answering direct questions about some rules and promises that have been broken to me. All I want is answers, and for someone to help me and my daughter. To date, I don't see over-correction, I see no correction.

husbandwife

Hey, shit happens, and for whatever reason usually a parent isn't involved in the child's life. At least this guy is stepping up now, when it counts the most. Just cuz the kid is acting out doens't make it his fauly because he's a parent, sometimes regardless of what a parent does, a kid still acts out and ends up in the system.

My husband was a hell on wheels type of kid and was in and out of trouble his whole life growing up in and out of several different foster home and placements. But it wasn't his fault he ended up in system, it was his worthless parents and grandparents who beat him from age 3 until 9 years old when he was old enough to understand what was happening wasn't his fault and was then taken away from his family at age 9. And then once he turned 18, he was released from system and into the world with nothing to his name, left to fend for himself on everything that he'd been taught.

Instead of just giving a bs answer, and you being a cop, you could have actually provided a helpful answer to this man. Genesis is just a shelter and a joke of itself, as I worked there too, but you could have reccomended something helpful instead of a snide remark.

Razor1979 wrote:

Probably should have gotten started on parenting before she was 14. It is not the childs fault it is the parents.

K_Nash

Since: Nov 09

Wheeling, WV

husbandwife wrote:

Hey, shit happens, and for whatever reason usually a parent isn't involved in the child's life. At least this guy is stepping up now, when it counts the most. Just cuz the kid is acting out doens't make it his fauly because he's a parent, sometimes regardless of what a parent does, a kid still acts out and ends up in the system.
My husband was a hell on wheels type of kid and was in and out of trouble his whole life growing up in and out of several different foster home and placements. But it wasn't his fault he ended up in system, it was his worthless parents and grandparents who beat him from age 3 until 9 years old when he was old enough to understand what was happening wasn't his fault and was then taken away from his family at age 9. And then once he turned 18, he was released from system and into the world with nothing to his name, left to fend for himself on everything that he'd been taught.
Instead of just giving a bs answer, and you being a cop, you could have actually provided a helpful answer to this man. Genesis is just a shelter and a joke of itself, as I worked there too, but you could have reccomended something helpful instead of a snide remark.
<quoted text>

I did make a suggestion. My idea of stepping up and trying to be a parent is not sending your child away for someone else to deal with the problem. Sounds to me like he is still waiting for someone else to do his job. I think my suggestion was....and I quote.... "Parents these days are pussy's. You need to be the parent, lay down the law and enforce it with an iron fist."

K_Nash

Since: Nov 09

Wheeling, WV

I thought his suggestion made perfect sense.

“Dont sing it, bring it.”

Since: Nov 08

733

ISP: Bridgeport, WV

Uhhh....you kinda worded that like you think you are me. That is kinda spooky homie. Thanks for backing me up but your getting a little strange, lets keep are distance!

Dave

HusbandWife, Thanks for the support. Glad to hear someone out there is willing to offer good, clean advice and capable of speaking from wearing the same shoes. Definitely need to exchange emails and continue this conversation. I will go look at the website you suggested and continue working with PR to get my daughter the help she needs and be able to bring her home with both of us better armed on coping with this situation. Contrary to popular belief I will do whatever is neccessary to make both of us better people and I'm not too proud to ask for help, no matter where it comes from.

joe dogs

Judged:

Cultural influences. Yes. In order to address the issue of cultural influences one has to know what cultural influences are. Whether rural west virginia or the ghetto.....cultural influences exist. The television set. The music. The movie house. Everything political and governmental and religious. Culture is many things. Some say we have lost culture in America. Have we? Check it out. We don't have "like gangs or anything?" Is that so? What is that story that I read recently about motorcycle gangs in west virginia? What is being taught in our schools that contributes to our culture? That has nothing to do with gangs but it does affect how our youny folks think and behave. What do they know about history? World history and American history and any other history you care to study.

Genetics has nothing to do with human behaviour? All we have ever learned about human behaviour makes it very clear that genetics has a great deal to do with human behaviour. It's a fact of life. Many books have been written on the subject. No one has to buy that. It's for giveaway. It's free. Your local library will provide you with this input.

Many parents today are afraid to discipline their children. They fear the government. I have had many parents tell me of this fear. We have made serious mistakes in legislation in the USA. In some respects we have almost criminalized parenting. No? Look around. Ask your neighbors. Go ahead. They live in fear of disciplining their children. I saw this coming 45 years ago. Now it is upon you. It is bad law. That is part of the problem.

husbandwife