Council rejects Kare offer

Council rejects Kare offer

There are 307 comments on the Pasadena Star-News story from Sep 4, 2008, titled Council rejects Kare offer. In it, Pasadena Star-News reports that:

Despite a City Council chamber overflowing with supporters young and old, officials rejected a local youth sports league's offer to purchase a piece of land from the city.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at Pasadena Star-News.

Since: Sep 13

Pomona, CA

#124 Sep 9, 2013
Audrey wrote:
Even though we might define what they are doing as wrong. Most of us won't speak at them with condemnation. I think this is difficult because of the devotion they gave us. When you are a member, people will make great sacrifices for you. Sacrifices that you might always appreciate even if you condemn what they are doing. It is difficult to demonize something that you both love and hate at the same time. Also, many of us have an attachment to those that are still involved and wish them no ill.
2ND THAT also said
"I do have friends still involved who I HOPE (and believe), do things far differently. But as all the original leadership (those which are still living anyway) are still in charge, I fear any hope for real change may still be far off, if it is ever to happen at all."

I have a dear, dear friend who was subjected to direct horrific abuse by one of the original leadership families who are still alive. This family is revered at Kare.

I know they have committed absolute evil and it makes me sick to my stomach.

This friend has considered telling the story (in a far different forum than this. I don't think this friend knows of this thread), but is deeply torn.

Because I know what I know, I am deeply torn and angry too.

As somebody here way back in the early pages put it, organizations like Kare are ripe for abuse. The biggest concern is the organization, not the individual who has been harmed.

Evil.

Since: Sep 13

Walnut Grove, CA

#125 Sep 9, 2013
Forgiving, is a good thing for a person, and the world.

But the same does not always hold true for forgetting.

Since: Sep 13

Walnut Grove, CA

#126 Sep 9, 2013
I looked up the exact quote I was trying to remember, and it's much more elequent.

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.

Also:
RHLA is kind of an interesting concept. If you graduate, there is the option of trying for RHLA.

If you don't apply for RHLA, and just leave, now they can rationalize a reason to call you a 'quiter'. So if you come back to say 'Hi', they can think to themselves, "I don't need to say hi, to him/her, because they 'quit', and I don't associate with losers"

Then, while doing slave labor, trying to get into RHLA, if you decide to leave, for whatever reason, they can rationalize "Oh, he/she is a 'quitter', because they failed to make RHLA, and , so, they are a loser, and so maybe it's right, not to talk to them."

Same thing going from RHLA, to 'leader'. If you decide to leave, you can also be shunned within the brainwashed mind of a cult member.

RHLA, eliminates a typical situation, where a person leaves after graduating, and there are no strings attached.
Slim --cont

Perris, CA

#127 Sep 9, 2013
Hey Snoop, Well put. It's kind of funny. I could write a whole rule book out all of Kare's unwritten rules. If I wrote the rule book, everyone who went there would know exactly every rule. I also quit smoking. I guess it could be good to be a quitter.
When I think about it, I enjoyed all of the competitive challenges at Kare. But some of these competitive challenges were definitely mixed in to control me.
Perfect attendance was kind of competitive. But was it good for me and my family?
2nd that

Westminster, CA

#128 Sep 9, 2013
Bebe 123. Have you thought about e-mailing the link for this website to your friend you wrote about? Maybe after reading some of the comments here, your friend will feel more comfortable about sharing their story. Remind them, it can (and probably should be) anonymous. Also, anyone else who has enjoyed or maybe even has been helped, even if by a little bit, from what has been shared here, if you have any friends who are former or current members which you think would also like this website, why not share the link with them. That's how I found out about it. I'm glad I was made aware of it. Just throwing the idea out there.

I also agree with you Bebe 123. Sincerity is no excuse for the harm done to others. Most cults are started and run by sincere people. And as someone pointed out earlier, even those who flew planes into buildings on 911 were probably sincere in their beliefs. It was still an evil act.

Since: Sep 13

Walnut Grove, CA

#129 Sep 10, 2013
Hey Slim, and 2nd that, I wanted to give you guys 'likes' (checks, lifesavers etc.) But I live outside a small town the dial-up connection won't let me do it. :-(

Since: Sep 13

Walnut Grove, CA

#130 Sep 11, 2013
I think it is unrealistic to expect anyone at Kare, to come on here and have a realistic discussion.

It's much more likely that they have been made aware of these comments, and are meeting privately to come up with 'damage control'.

As far as the 'We've Changed' night, it's kind of ironic that is was thought up by their main political inside expert, who has held public office.

I thought it was also a revealing lapse of class, that they asked each of the people they were appologizing to, to pay for their dinners that night. They each cost about the same as a week's worth of groceries, or a cheap therapy session.

You can put lipstick on a pig......

Since: Sep 13

Walnut Grove, CA

#131 Sep 11, 2013
Sorry to hog the page, but there is something else I'd like to say.

I think I have a bit of a head start on some people here, who have also told of their heart wrenching experiences.

Like I said before, I read some books, on leaving a cult.

What I want to say, which I got from the books, is that you have to forgive yourself. There is always shame and guilt, for being involved in a cult situation. This can happen when you leave, and then look back on it.

This is besides the issues caused by having a lead brick dropped on your brain every day, while in the cult.

You have to forgive yourself.

Sometimes people also feel shame and guilt for bringing others into it, who may or may not have stayed. You need to forgive yourself for that too.

It's not your fault that you stayed, or brought in others. You were doing what you felt was the right thing, just like all of us.

Since: Sep 13

Walnut Grove, CA

#132 Sep 11, 2013
You also need to forgive yourself for mistakes you made after you left. How could you possibly make great decisions when you are in a period of extreme adjusment?
2nd that

Westminster, CA

#133 Sep 12, 2013
Good stuff Snoop.

Since: Sep 13

Walnut Grove, CA

#134 Sep 13, 2013
Thanks, 2ND THAT. That means a lot comming from you.
And upon further research, it looks like we both were right, in regards to what to beleive when you leave. I was reading that it can be helpful to maintain your faith, and yet it's also good to re-examine your core beleifs.

If you have been emotionally abused at the hands of Kare, please speak up, so that others can make informed decisions about going there or sending their kids there. Recent experiences would be 'extra' valuable here.

Here are some links that I've been reading, that might help others as well. They are actually, all on one website:

The Emotional Pain of Leaving a Cult: How former cult members described the pain and heartache
http://www.caic.org.au/leaving/ithurts.htm

Personality Disorders Resulting from Physical & Emotional Abuse
http://www.caic.org.au/leaving/disorder.htm

Coping With Trace States: The Aftermath of Leaving
http://www.caic.org.au/leaving/trance.htm

Individual Differences Affecting Recovery
http://www.caic.org.au/leaving/affrecov.htm

Post-Cult Trauma Syndrome
http://www.caic.org.au/leaving/postcult.htm

Coming Out of a Cult
http://www.caic.org.au/leaving/sing-lev.htm

Recovery from Cult Involvement
http://www.caic.org.au/leaving/recovery.htm

Stages in Recovery from Cult Involvement
http://www.caic.org.au/leaving/recstage.htm

Recovery from Religious Abuse
http://www.caic.org.au/leaving/recabuse.htm

Recovery from Mind Control
http://www.caic.org.au/leaving/recover.htm

The Truth about Exit-Counselling
http://www.caic.org.au/leaving/xcouns.htm

The Salvation Burger -- An interesting viewpoint!
http://www.caic.org.au/leaving/reex-cul.htm

Regarding Exit Counselling - By Glen McClelland
http://www.caic.org.au/leaving/exit.htm

Recovering Together: Support Groups for Walk Aways
http://www.caic.org.au/leaving/support.htm

Counselling People Who Walk Away From a Cult
http://www.caic.org.au/leaving/counsel.htm

The Immediate Benefits of Leaving Mormonism -- Applies to all cults!
http://www.caic.org.au/leaving/leavelds.htm

Since: Sep 13

Glendora

#135 Sep 15, 2013
Harry wrote:

Your comment that a majority of the of the staff is related to each other. I regret to say that you are mis-informed. Your comment is tying to infer that everyone on the staff is blood-related. There is a large percetange of the staff that are related becasue both the husband and wife have decided that their life's work is to serve youth at Kare. So I guess the majority of the staff is technically related. Or maybe on a philosophical level, I would go even farther to say that the entire staff is related becasue they are all broters and sisters doing God's work for the community.
This is kind of funny.
Anyone who has been at Kare and taken ten minutes looking at the staff running this place will note that there are really only a small number of families, who are all intermarried, that run the place.
Nice try Harry.

Since: Sep 13

Glendora

#136 Sep 15, 2013
Slim wrote:
Just to make it easier for readers, I copied the common practices of cults in my comments. After reading them, I don't know about today, but when I was at Kare, I could confirm all of them except one...
Agree with Slim.
Kare fits most common traits of a cult.

Since: Sep 13

Glendora

#137 Sep 15, 2013
When I left, I lost all that I knew in life.
My dearest friend, who I grew up with in Kare, was required to shun me. All that I knew in life was Kare. RHP acquiesced and gave me a diploma because I was actually part of the Kare family... Otherwise, at age 17, after spending MY ENTIRE LIFE within this organization, I was expelled into the world with zero support and a horribly battered heart. I was crushed in every sense of the word.
I HAVE heard that some things down at Kare have changed.
The same as a few people here, it's hard for me to imagine real change because all of the same families are still in charge.
Change or not, it doesn't take away the pain inflicted on prior generations.
What they did to me (and many others based on this discussion) is straight out abuse.
Plain and simple.
2nd that

Westminster, CA

#138 Sep 17, 2013
Thanks for listing those websites Snoop. I'm sure they will be helpful for at least some of the former (current?) members who happen on this website.

kopf, sorry to hear about your experience with Kare. Too bad it seems that this is all too common.

I know some who didn't receive their diplomas even though they had earned them with excellent grades. Apparently, some in their class did something which was wrong in the eyes of the leaders' at Kare. For that, nobody from that entire class was allowed to graduate (even those who knew nothing about what had been done, much less had anything to do with it).
Slim --cont

Perris, CA

#139 Sep 21, 2013
Hi Kopf, Yes, I personally know of leaders' kids who also suffered like that. They were totally on their own after being at Kare their whole life. Only those of us who have been there know the lonely feeling.
I agree with Snoop Cat on always evaluating our core beliefs. I'm still re-evaluating my core beliefs which started mainly while at Kare. That's the toughest part, separating truth that I actually got from Kare, although they weren't the originators of that truth. I hang on to the beneficial parts. The bad, or cultic parts, I get rid of. Easier said than done. I was shone a lot of love by some assistant leaders that are no longer down there. I would like to get in touch with them again to thanks them for all of their support and time when I was a kid. Those were fun times.
As far as coaches who made Kare above God and family, I do actually feel sorry for them. I hope they will find truth.
Outdoor games at night as a kid were the best. Watermelon feeds, steel the bacon, beach trips, camping, band, plays......good times. Being out in the woods, just considering God's creation. I still enjoy that. I try to make sure my daughter gets to enjoy those parts that I treasured and still look back on fondly.
Madonna

Monterey Park, CA

#140 Sep 21, 2013
Everything that is stated in these posts are absolutely correct. The cult bleeds discrimination, racial disgrace and they are only concerned for the individuals whom they can control and brainwash. It is ironic that a few of the children's families have sued for sexual abuse, child abuse, mistreatment and have the nerve to still be associated with the compound. There robotic nature and stone face glares are indicators that the light is off and nobody is home. I am so happy to have disassociated with this cult early on. Many families have walked away with chunks of change for mistreatment. I demanded a refund for everything that I put in and they obliged. They knew they had no other choice. I just hope that one day the pit will be closed and the cult will disappear. In 2013, it is scary to know that such a place still exists. The statement about the increase in Asian students is simple. The Leaders are being paid monthly room, board and tuition to house these children. Also, they are a boost to their test scores. Selective children are only allowed to participate in the testing that show the average levels of these students. Their sports program will definitely diminish as census is dropping and they are filling the classrooms with Asians and their pocket books with Asian money. Disgusting and Desperate on Freaky Farna.
rhp cult

United States

#141 Sep 25, 2013
hello
rhp cult

United States

#142 Sep 25, 2013
i've read through most of this and i just feel sad.
i remember how difficult and painful it was when i lefet.
i think just about every human being expereicnces some pain in life that traumatizes them in one way or another. it could be from familiy of origina, a church group like care, bf/gf, husband/wife, any sort of trauma.
kare youth league
rio hondo prep football cult
undoubtedly inflicted trauma on most here in this discussion.
ii was a kare for several years.
i type horribly and don't have time to ficx mistakes, but add me to the chorus of those who have been hurt so badly by kare.
rio hondo football is idolized. juist like countless places across the countyre, football rules. and it certainly does at kare. it gets pepole excited gets people to join. and then the indoctrination begins.

thinking about everything right now and a feel some truly deep sadness.

kare works with adolescents, people who can be particularly vulnerable, and should be the provider of helpful role models.
but they don't
instead they pound guilt into kids heads.
it more strongly affects those who invested more time into the place and had that abject faith.

i believed.
i believed i would go to hell.
i believed i wasn't good aenough.
that's what they taught me.

rio hondo prep football cult

i left in 97
rhp cult

United States

#143 Sep 25, 2013
audrey wrote:
<quoted text>
. Shhhhh....just listen.
i will

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