Were you spanked as a child?

Were you spanked as a child?

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Since: Feb 13

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#1 May 16, 2013
A 2012 study reviewed the previous two decades of research and confirmed that children who are spanked have less gray matter in their brains, and are more likely to exhibit depression, anxiety, drug use, and aggression as they get older.
Spanking produces WORSE behavior, not better behavior. It also teaches them violence, because hitting children teaches them that it is ok to hit others who are smaller and weaker. But discipline means “to teach."If you are serious about raising good kids, you need to use methods that teach kids to manage themselves. Spanking does not do that.Instead,it teaches kids to be afraid of you, which is no basis for love. It teaches them to be sneaky so they won't be caught doing something wrong.It teaches kids that they are bad, so they are more likely to behave badly.It teaches kids to use violence when they want to solve a problem.So next time you get so angry you want to hit someone, tell your kids you’re taking a timeout and you’ll deal with them later. Then go into the bathroom, run the water, and calm yourself down. Use the time to get calm, not to justify your anger. When you come out, tell them you need to think hard about what they did, but right now you need to fix dinner (do the laundry, whatever.) Tell them you need them to be little angels, and you will talk when you are all calm later. Then follow through. Your discipline and teaching will be so much more effective. They’ll learn a lot better when they aren’t in the flush of flight or flight hormones. And you will be so grateful to see yourself becoming the kind of parent every child deserves.
I is me

Circleville, OH

#2 May 16, 2013
Remember n1991 wrote:
A 2012 study reviewed the previous two decades of research and confirmed that children who are spanked have less gray matter in their brains, and are more likely to exhibit depression, anxiety, drug use, and aggression as they get older.
Spanking produces WORSE behavior, not better behavior. It also teaches them violence, because hitting children teaches them that it is ok to hit others who are smaller and weaker. But discipline means “to teach."If you are serious about raising good kids, you need to use methods that teach kids to manage themselves. Spanking does not do that.Instead,it teaches kids to be afraid of you, which is no basis for love. It teaches them to be sneaky so they won't be caught doing something wrong.It teaches kids that they are bad, so they are more likely to behave badly.It teaches kids to use violence when they want to solve a problem.So next time you get so angry you want to hit someone, tell your kids you’re taking a timeout and you’ll deal with them later. Then go into the bathroom, run the water, and calm yourself down. Use the time to get calm, not to justify your anger. When you come out, tell them you need to think hard about what they did, but right now you need to fix dinner (do the laundry, whatever.) Tell them you need them to be little angels, and you will talk when you are all calm later. Then follow through. Your discipline and teaching will be so much more effective. They’ll learn a lot better when they aren’t in the flush of flight or flight hormones. And you will be so grateful to see yourself becoming the kind of parent every child deserves.
You know it's funny all these "studies" come out saying one thing but you see the exact opposite in your everyday lives. My grandparents came from a generation where sparing the rod meant spoiling the child. And in his generation there is less of this ADHD BS and all this autism crap. They had less suicide in his day and age and he came from the Great Depression. Fact of the matter is, not every single person is the same. I was spanked as a child, I had my mouth smacked every time I spoke like a loud mouth little punk and the only thing I learned from it was respect. I learned to watch what I say and how I act.

These days you go into Walmart where this generation of degenerates that don't know discipline key people's cars. Scream in public and knock things off shelves thinking it's cute running rampant. So you tell me from these "studies" why theft, depression, and suicide are so much higher now the less we discipline our children than when we did.

Since: Feb 13

Location hidden

#3 May 16, 2013
Imagine your husband or wife losing their temper and screaming at you. Now imagine them three times as big as you, towering over you. Imagine that you depend on that person completely for your food, shelter, safety, protection. Imagine they are your primary source of love and self-confidence and information about the world, that you have nowhere else to turn. Now take whatever feelings you have summoned up and magnify them by a factor of 1000. That is something like what happens inside your child when you get angry at him.
ashamed

Norwalk, OH

#4 May 16, 2013
I see nothing wrong with spanking as long as its reasonable! There's a difference between abuse and swating a child's behind! A lot of these children that are put on meds for ADHD wil become future drug addicts! Maybe if mom and dad spanked their children once in awhile,meds wouldn't be needed! I was spanked as a child and I'm fine today!
Fear is Good

Grove City, OH

#5 May 16, 2013
Remember n1991 wrote:
Imagine your husband or wife losing their temper and screaming at you. Now imagine them three times as big as you, towering over you. Imagine that you depend on that person completely for your food, shelter, safety, protection. Imagine they are your primary source of love and self-confidence and information about the world, that you have nowhere else to turn. Now take whatever feelings you have summoned up and magnify them by a factor of 1000. That is something like what happens inside your child when you get angry at him.
You are a complete idiot. Children today have no fear and that's one of the biggest reasons they have become terrors to our society. WTF is wrong with you? Somebody must have cracked you upside the head one too many times as a child.

Since: Feb 13

Location hidden

#6 May 16, 2013
I is me wrote:
<quoted text>
You know it's funny all these "studies" come out saying one thing but you see the exact opposite in your everyday lives. My grandparents came from a generation where sparing the rod meant spoiling the child. And in his generation there is less of this ADHD BS and all this autism crap. They had less suicide in his day and age and he came from the Great Depression. Fact of the matter is, not every single person is the same. I was spanked as a child, I had my mouth smacked every time I spoke like a loud mouth little punk and the only thing I learned from it was respect. I learned to watch what I say and how I act.
These days you go into Walmart where this generation of degenerates that don't know discipline key people's cars. Scream in public and knock things off shelves thinking it's cute running rampant. So you tell me from these "studies" why theft, depression, and suicide are so much higher now the less we discipline our children than when we did.
Yes, I think that many of today's children are the rudest ever.Studies on discipline (by spanking) show kids with lower self esteem who behave worse than other kids.Maybe theres to much hitting going on. Raising kids is, and always has been a challenge like no other. Genetics,personality and circumstances all play a part in how people develop. Population has grown so of course crime rate has went up.There are parents that use no discipline. Theres many reason for this you can't just say its because parents don't hit there children.
Honestly I really did know,when I posted this thread someone from the intelligent,well educated Poverty stricken town of Circleville Ohio that heroin and crack cocaine has taken over would disagree with many highly educated psychologists 30 year study..... Don't surprise me one bit considering how many cases of children's deaths,rapes, abuse and neglect etc.. Pickaway County has.

Since: Feb 13

Location hidden

#7 May 16, 2013
Fear is Good wrote:
<quoted text>You are a complete idiot. Children today have no fear and that's one of the biggest reasons they have become terrors to our society. WTF is wrong with you? Somebody must have cracked you upside the head one too many times as a child.
Oh,I guess you are smarter then highly educated psychologists.
I is me

Circleville, OH

#8 May 16, 2013
Remember n1991 wrote:
<quoted text>Yes, I think that many of today's children are the rudest ever.Studies on discipline (by spanking) show kids with lower self esteem who behave worse than other kids.Maybe theres to much hitting going on. Raising kids is, and always has been a challenge like no other. Genetics,personality and circumstances all play a part in how people develop. Population has grown so of course crime rate has went up.There are parents that use no discipline. Theres many reason for this you can't just say its because parents don't hit there children.
Honestly I really did know,when I posted this thread someone from the intelligent,well educated Poverty stricken town of Circleville Ohio that heroin and crack cocaine has taken over would disagree with many highly educated psychologists 30 year study..... Don't surprise me one bit considering how many cases of children's deaths,rapes, abuse and neglect etc.. Pickaway County has.
And how are any of these exactly tied into discipline or lack thereof as a child? By all means explain that one to me. We as a species have thrived for centuries without medical science. And if you look up the very definition of those psychologists it is a study on basic UNDERSTANDING of the human mind. There is absolutely nothing that says these people know 100% everything. We see examples everyday that contradict what a therapist says. A psychologist told me I was bipolar. They gave me meds that pushed my blood sugar into danger zones when all they had to do was prick my finger to explain my mood swings. Oh but by your logic they know everything. Just get out of this thread. You are a fine example of a sheep. You'll believe anything and everything someone tells you because they have a peace of paper that "says so".

Nobody in this world, and I mean NOBODY knows you and your body more than you do. That in itself is the truth of things. By your sheep attitude when doctors told me I couldn't handle my diabetes without their medications and treatments I should be dead. But diet, exercise and healthy living I control it 100% without a doctor's input and I'd gladly check my sugar levels in front of you or anyone else that says otherwise. I was actually worse off taking the meds as Metformin cuts the rate the body can absorb vitamin b12 by 75%. Oh but the doctors tell you that it's because you're diabetic you can't heal wounds as fast. Surprise surprise, b12 is what helps heal wounds.

Just for the love of all that is sacred and holy in this world get out of this thread with your attitude that someone who has a piece of paper knows everything. It's all about basic understanding. If psychologists and doctors knew everything I wouldn't be a diabetic, these children wouldn't be autistic, suicide would be 0%, and you wouldn't be spouting this idiocy.

Since: Feb 13

Location hidden

#9 May 17, 2013
I is me wrote:
<quoted text>
And how are any of these exactly tied into discipline or lack thereof as a child? By all means explain that one to me. We as a species have thrived for centuries without medical science. And if you look up the very definition of those psychologists it is a study on basic UNDERSTANDING of the human mind. There is absolutely nothing that says these people know 100% everything. We see examples everyday that contradict what a therapist says. A psychologist told me I was bipolar. They gave me meds that pushed my blood sugar into danger zones when all they had to do was prick my finger to explain my mood swings. Oh but by your logic they know everything. Just get out of this thread. You are a fine example of a sheep. You'll believe anything and everything someone tells you because they have a peace of paper that "says so".
Nobody in this world, and I mean NOBODY knows you and your body more than you do. That in itself is the truth of things. By your sheep attitude when doctors told me I couldn't handle my diabetes without their medications and treatments I should be dead. But diet, exercise and healthy living I control it 100% without a doctor's input and I'd gladly check my sugar levels in front of you or anyone else that says otherwise. I was actually worse off taking the meds as Metformin cuts the rate the body can absorb vitamin b12 by 75%. Oh but the doctors tell you that it's because you're diabetic you can't heal wounds as fast. Surprise surprise, b12 is what helps heal wounds.
Just for the love of all that is sacred and holy in this world get out of this thread with your attitude that someone who has a piece of paper knows everything. It's all about basic understanding. If psychologists and doctors knew everything I wouldn't be a diabetic, these children wouldn't be autistic, suicide would be 0%, and you wouldn't be spouting this idiocy.
So, that explains a lot,you have physiological problems mood swings and take meds...... I don't post personal info on here ever but I will tell you this I'm a parent, but I seen you say on another post you was not. End of convo with you about this you are not even a parent
I is me

Circleville, OH

#10 May 17, 2013
Remember n1991 wrote:
<quoted text>So, that explains a lot,you have physiological problems mood swings and take meds...... I don't post personal info on here ever but I will tell you this I'm a parent, but I seen you say on another post you was not. End of convo with you about this you are not even a parent
I'm an uncle, and stepped up into parenthood when my sister walked out of my niece's life if you need any info on that regard. I just celebrated her seventh birthday. This topic was you spouting off about doctors knowing everything. There isn't a doctor of any kind alive that knows everything. Look at the facts, not some BS "study". Children crave discipline, they push boundaries and push you to see how far they can get. A child that is allowed to push those limits will continue to push them. That is fact. I pity your children if the best you have is to turn a conversation away from how people with a piece of paper know "everything" after you got shot down to telling me I know nothing of being a parent when I stepped up for a child that isn't even mine.

We founded this very country on discipline. Correcting a child in the wrong has been around for as long as man kind has existed and we have more problems letting children walk all over us than we do smacking them on the rear and telling them they are wrong for what they do. Just please, stop. A piece of paper doesn't make someone right.
Yipppers

Euless, TX

#11 May 17, 2013
I is me wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm an uncle, and stepped up into parenthood when my sister walked out of my niece's life if you need any info on that regard. I just celebrated her seventh birthday. This topic was you spouting off about doctors knowing everything. There isn't a doctor of any kind alive that knows everything. Look at the facts, not some BS "study". Children crave discipline, they push boundaries and push you to see how far they can get. A child that is allowed to push those limits will continue to push them. That is fact. I pity your children if the best you have is to turn a conversation away from how people with a piece of paper know "everything" after you got shot down to telling me I know nothing of being a parent when I stepped up for a child that isn't even mine.
We founded this very country on discipline. Correcting a child in the wrong has been around for as long as man kind has existed and we have more problems letting children walk all over us than we do smacking them on the rear and telling them they are wrong for what they do. Just please, stop. A piece of paper doesn't make someone right.
Actually some of the original 13 colonies were founded by debters who were sent here as a way to get rid of the burden.
Yipppers

Euless, TX

#12 May 17, 2013
To answer your questions YES & NO. My parents stopped spanking me as soon as they realized I enjoyed it. I still enjoy it. And got spanked yesterday...my butt still hurts. All I did was wake him with a LOUD SONG: BUCKCHERRY'S CRAZY BITCH when I was horny.

Since: Feb 13

Location hidden

#13 May 17, 2013
Yipppers wrote:
To answer your questions YES & NO. My parents stopped spanking me as soon as they realized I enjoyed it. I still enjoy it. And got spanked yesterday...my butt still hurts. All I did was wake him with a LOUD SONG: BUCKCHERRY'S CRAZY BITCH when I was horny.
Couple guys holding a white jacket was asking questions about you,better run an hide..........
Yipppers

Warwick, RI

#14 May 18, 2013
Remember n1991 wrote:
<quoted text> Couple guys holding a white jacket was asking questions about you,better run an hide..........
Bahaha....Doctors are not fun! Only had 1 but bump into him in town once in a great while.
true

Athens, OH

#15 May 18, 2013
Remember n1991 wrote:
A 2012 study reviewed the previous two decades of research and confirmed that children who are spanked have less gray matter in their brains, and are more likely to exhibit depression, anxiety, drug use, and aggression as they get older.
Spanking produces WORSE behavior, not better behavior. It also teaches them violence, because hitting children teaches them that it is ok to hit others who are smaller and weaker. But discipline means “to teach."If you are serious about raising good kids, you need to use methods that teach kids to manage themselves. Spanking does not do that.Instead,it teaches kids to be afraid of you, which is no basis for love. It teaches them to be sneaky so they won't be caught doing something wrong.It teaches kids that they are bad, so they are more likely to behave badly.It teaches kids to use violence when they want to solve a problem.So next time you get so angry you want to hit someone, tell your kids you’re taking a timeout and you’ll deal with them later. Then go into the bathroom, run the water, and calm yourself down. Use the time to get calm, not to justify your anger. When you come out, tell them you need to think hard about what they did, but right now you need to fix dinner (do the laundry, whatever.) Tell them you need them to be little angels, and you will talk when you are all calm later. Then follow through. Your discipline and teaching will be so much more effective. They’ll learn a lot better when they aren’t in the flush of flight or flight hormones. And you will be so grateful to see yourself becoming the kind of parent every child deserves.
I got a switch took to me for just little things that didn't call for a switchin'.Getting a switch taken too you is very painful and blood goes everywhere. I hated it. I would never hit a kid with a belt, swithch. etc. I think kids learn nothing from being physically spanked or hit. It makes things worse and it is very cruel.
Uncle Cracker

Columbus, OH

#16 May 19, 2013
These studies are a bunch of crap. Swatting a kid on the ass for misbehaving is not going to reduce your grey matter. Parents have become such doormats. Keep in mind that these studies are sponsored by the liberals.
not a single time

Wooster, OH

#20 May 19, 2013
If you listen and behave and have some sense you have no need to worry.
James

Detroit, MI

#21 May 19, 2013
I was spanked and I hate my mother and always will hate her. I am in my 40's , never did much wrong as a kid. Any trouble I got into was due to her lack of good parenting skills. There is other ways to manage a child than physical aggression. As the original poster mentioned, it can cause depression which I do suffer from and it was early onset. You would be surprised how many mothers put on a show but behind closed doors they are abusers.
mr whit e

Ashland, OH

#22 May 19, 2013
Is that why you are gay? Do you think that it is what caused it? I is me is homosexual also..
I is me

Circleville, OH

#23 May 19, 2013
James wrote:
I was spanked and I hate my mother and always will hate her. I am in my 40's , never did much wrong as a kid. Any trouble I got into was due to her lack of good parenting skills. There is other ways to manage a child than physical aggression. As the original poster mentioned, it can cause depression which I do suffer from and it was early onset. You would be surprised how many mothers put on a show but behind closed doors they are abusers.
And you just completely summed up the real problem with this entire topic. There is a difference between discipline and abuse. If I did something wrong I was pulled aside, told what was wrong and I had my ass swatted and I was sent to the corner to think about what I did for five minutes. I learned not to do it again. If I back talked or started cursing, I got tapped on the mouth and sent to the corner. The problem with this country is so many people mistake discipline and abuse. Spanking your child for what they did wrong to get a point across is discipline. Beating your child until they are bruised is abuse. Hillary Clinton claiming telling children "no" if they want ice cream is NOT abuse.

I thank my parents for the discipline they gave me. I'm a better man for it. I respect my father, love my mother. I hold doors open for others, I think of what I do before I do it so as not to hurt others whenever I can avoid it. I wait my turn in conversations and not butt in rudely. I treat my peers as I wish to be treated, I respect my elders. I refer to others as sir and ma'am respectfully. I get complimented all the time. A man my father works with had my dad's chest swelling with pride as he complimented him having a fine, respectful son. I have customers at my place of work telling me I'm very respectful giving me high customer service marks. I have respect from my managers because I respect them in turn.

I was disciplined growing up. You were abused. Two different beasts, while I am sorry you were done wrong. You like 85% of America have the two mixed up and overstep the fine line that differentiates the two. I'm willing to put a paycheck on it your therapist refers to what happens to you as ABUSE and would tell you that discipline is something entirely different than you're describing.

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