Need Help Exposing Married Cicero Man...

Need Help Exposing Married Cicero Man Having Affair

Posted in the Cicero Forum

Very Concerned

Corbin, KY

#1 Dec 2, 2008
I live in Corbin Ky and I have a friend who has been seeing a married man from Cicero for several months now. My friend is a smart, beautiful, professional woman who could have any single guy she wants, but she is so hung up on this guy she met when he was working here that she refuses to date anyone else. His wife found out about the affair when he came here to see my friend in July, and by what my friend has told me the wife thinks it is now over. It is far from over. My friend has driven to so many places to see him, and he was in town a few weeks ago. Ofcourse when he left, my friend cried for days. I am so worried about her and I think it would be best for everybody if his wife finds out again. Maybe then it would really be over. My friend isn't about to tell his wife, but I would if I thought it would do any good. Problem is that I don't know much about him and his wife. I just found out that he lives in Cicero.
The man's name is Tom and I think his last name is Findley. He did live in Oregon. I do not know his wife's name. He and his wife have three kids, and I believe the kids are all over 10 years old. His wife is a nurse, I think an OB/GYN, but I don't know if she works at a hospital or Dr.'s office. Tom works with a company that does something with cellphone towers, and he works out of town most of the time. He is very tall and quite good looking. He tells my friend that he loves her and that he is trying to figure out a way for them to be together, but I am not buying it. I will not go into details about the problems that my friend is having over this, but from the bottom of my heart I am worried sick over her. I hope someone who knows his wife reads this and tells her. Both of these women deserve better. My friend deserves a life again.
whyme

Celina, TN

#2 Dec 2, 2008
Very Concerned wrote:
I live in Corbin Ky and I have a friend who has been seeing a married man from Cicero for several months now. My friend is a smart, beautiful, professional woman who could have any single guy she wants, but she is so hung up on this guy she met when he was working here that she refuses to date anyone else. His wife found out about the affair when he came here to see my friend in July, and by what my friend has told me the wife thinks it is now over. It is far from over. My friend has driven to so many places to see him, and he was in town a few weeks ago. Ofcourse when he left, my friend cried for days. I am so worried about her and I think it would be best for everybody if his wife finds out again. Maybe then it would really be over. My friend isn't about to tell his wife, but I would if I thought it would do any good. Problem is that I don't know much about him and his wife. I just found out that he lives in Cicero.
The man's name is Tom and I think his last name is Findley. He did live in Oregon. I do not know his wife's name. He and his wife have three kids, and I believe the kids are all over 10 years old. His wife is a nurse, I think an OB/GYN, but I don't know if she works at a hospital or Dr.'s office. Tom works with a company that does something with cellphone towers, and he works out of town most of the time. He is very tall and quite good looking. He tells my friend that he loves her and that he is trying to figure out a way for them to be together, but I am not buying it. I will not go into details about the problems that my friend is having over this, but from the bottom of my heart I am worried sick over her. I hope someone who knows his wife reads this and tells her. Both of these women deserve better. My friend deserves a life again.
did he use to live in Ohio? Was he in the Army at one time?
Very Concerned

Corbin, KY

#3 Dec 3, 2008
No, not that I am aware. I'm almost sure he has never been in the army. Another detail about his wife is that she is to have surgery in the next month or so- the latest reason he gave my friend for staying with his wife. I am afraid to ask too many questions about him. I have met him and he is about 6'3 or 6'4. Shaved head, very tan and very fit. It is easy to see why she is attracted to him but I wish she could see that this situation is killing her. I hope something happens soon.
Very Concerned

Corbin, KY

#4 Dec 17, 2008
I found out that Tom's wife's name is Kim. She works in a OB/GYN's office, not a hospital. Their last name is Finley, not Findley.
whyme

Celina, TN

#5 Jan 31, 2009
sorry not the person I thought he was. I wish I could hep you.
garyfromcicero

Bringhurst, IN

#6 Feb 13, 2009
I live in Cicero and have for many years. I have never heard of him.
TOW tambien

Florence, SC

#7 Feb 13, 2009
Telling his wife they are still involved will probably not change anything if she really loves her husband. The best thing you can do for your friend is support her without being condescending. My advice is not to get involved directly. I promise that his wife is still experiencing an incredible sense of loss, and telling her would just turn her world upside down again. Your friend's only real option is to "ride it out." Loving a married man is just as painful as being the one cheated on. I have been both and, honestly, being TOW hurts much more than when my ex cheated on me. Your friend will have to realize for herself. Furthermore, if you tell his wife and they divorce, there is a possibility that he will continue to "play." She has to get him out of her system, ride out the storm, and maybe then she will see the light. Imagine if he divorced and ended up with her. Your friend would still be hurting and guilt would eventually arise causing problems in their relationship. Just my take on it... Situations like these are dangerous for all involved, and there is no real solution until one or the other has an epiphany and decides to end things. Telling his wife would not help as much as you think-not for your friend or the wife.
garyfromcicero

Bringhurst, IN

#8 Feb 14, 2009
If he is forced to a split up - TOW thinks she will get him, well she may be the other one getting left behind also.

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