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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Feb 14, 2013
DEAR AMY: I'm a college student and participate in a club at college. We often work with another club, our "sister club," at a nearby university.

My friend "Mark" was hired to be a supervisor for the other school's club.

I'm really happy about that because I've known him for nine years. However, as we've been getting closer as our clubs work together, I've become extremely attracted to him. Still, I feel that pursuing him would somehow be ethically wrong because he is in a position of authority. Although he's only three years older than I am, he has this full-time job, which is to "supervise" young adults my age.

The very idea of a hired professional dating a student could be considered a bad example for the younger students. I worry that it could threaten his job (and my reputation).

I'm not sure if our long friendship would make the situation better, but I wanted to know if it was OK to pursue him or if I should wait until I've graduated (still a year and a half away) to even consider him romantically.-- Scandalized?

DEAR SCANDALIZED: Your hesitation is sweet. Jane Austen-like, really. But I can't see how dating someone three years your senior who works at another college is a violation of anything: his reputation, your reputation, his career or your future (he is responsible for his own judgment).

Unless this person is married, your direct supervisor or your professor, then there's no reason to avoid Cupid's prickly embrace.

DEAR AMY: My wife is wonderful. She is intelligent and thoughtful and kind.

There is only one thing that bothers me about her, and it is this: There is always one thing that bothers her about me. I won't bore you with a list of my deficiencies. After 30 years of continuous improvement, I would characterize my flaws as minor (last month she was consumed with my forgetfulness in pulling the curtain closed after showering).

No time transpires from correcting one behavior before a new flaw manifests itself.

I have asked her to please try to let us enjoy each other. The world is full of people who tell me all of the things that are wrong with me. Can't our home be a refuge from the troubles of the world? She honestly believes that if I can just fix my latest, current deficiency, then everything will be fine. I know better.

I cannot help but notice that many of your readers' letters start with, "I love my husband except for this one thing ..." When I read this, I cringe.

Any advice? My self-confidence is in tatters.-- Perfectly Miserable

DEAR MISERABLE: You have perfectly described your situation, and I can imagine how this must feel. But if your wife is intelligent, thoughtful and kind, evidently she shows these qualities the most to people outside her household. This is sad.

I hope it doesn't take a catastrophe for her to see that all any of us wants is to be loved just as we are -- flaws and failings included (for instance, you seem to love her despite her terrible habit of constantly correcting you). I hope you can share this letter with her so she can work on her "one thing."

DEAR AMY: I'm to be the best man at the wedding of a very longtime friend from high school.

Although we're in our early 70s, this is his first marriage (and undoubtedly the last). I'd like to throw him an unforgettable bachelor party, but booze and broads isn't my style.

I am hoping you or your readers might have some suggestions.-- Really the Best Man

DEAR BEST MAN: Congratulations to your friend! Marrying for the first time late in life is truly the triumph of hope over, well, everything.

It's definitely challenging for me to plan a party for someone else, especially given the dearth of details, but, truth be told, my most successful parties are the ones I throw in my imagination.

Here's what I picture for you: an event of vintage cars and cigars, 1950s memorabilia, music and movies, and toasts to your friend's future.

I'll happily run other suggestions.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#2 Feb 14, 2013
1- Don't sht where you eat.

2- So you're starting your letter with the very thing that makes you cringe? Your wife wants a divorce.

3- Take him out for a wild night at Taco Bell and get him a tattoo.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#3 Feb 14, 2013
1 WTF? Your in college kid. But that aside, you still see yourself as a child next to this guy, so I sayy go have a pajama pillow fight back in the dorm and put it on you tube.

2 Walk around and record her constant nagging, then play it back in the bedroom, let her stew on that!

3 Swap meds with each other, you'll have a blast!

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#4 Feb 14, 2013
LW1: What Amy said. Except the nonsense about it being cute.

LW2: Start a war. Start pointing out every little thing that annoys you in the slightest about her.

LW3: "booze and broads isn't my style."
Viagra and broads?

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#5 Feb 14, 2013
1 Wait until you're out of school. By then you'll probably be far away for work and it'll have passed.

2 Your wife is a byotch. Nag her right back and either she'll stop, get help for her OCD, or divorce you. Either of the 3 ways she reacts is an improvement for you.

3 Hookers, canoes, and alcohol. That's the stuff great bachelor parties are made of.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#6 Feb 14, 2013
L1: Oh please. Just ask him out. He's not your professor or TA. You're making WAY too much of this extracurricular stuff. I don't think her hesitation is "sweet" -- I think it speaks of someone who's going to lose out on opportunities because she's overly worried about protocol and what others might think.

L2: Marriage counseling. She's a nag.

L3: Really? You're asking Amy? WHy don't you ASK YOUR FRIEND what kind of party he'd like?

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#7 Feb 14, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
LW2: Start a war. Start pointing out every little thing that annoys you in the slightest about her.
I actually thought that, too. Show her what it's like to listen to that crap.

Since: Oct 09

Wagner, SD

#8 Feb 14, 2013
LW2: I wouldn't put up with this for three weeks, let alone 30 freaking years, and neither should you. Your wife will NEVER be happy, there will always be something else her crazy azz will focus on. She isn't "kind" or "thoughtful" at all, she's a beeyotch who isn't going to change.

Your talking about how much it bothers you only fuels her further, it won't change anything and she doesn't care how it affects you. People like her are often unhappy with themselves, so they have to focus on the perceived "flaws" of others to make themselves feel better. Or she's just a beeyotch, or both. I can't stand people you have to walk on eggshells around, worrying about everything, and I sure as sheet wouldn't put up with being married to one.

She sounds a lot like hubby's ex-wife, which is a major reason WHY she's an ex. The LW deserves a lot better, but only he can really decide if he wants to continue putting up with it or if he'd be better off without her. Because she is NOT going to change. Even if they attend counseling, she's going to put it all on him and she won't listen to the counselor.

And can someone explain to me why women like the LW's wife can find husbands, and husbands who'll put up with such sheet, when very nice, caring, non-nagging gals either can't seem to find dates or husbands? It's like on the rare occasions when I watch Bridezillas. I just shake my head over the fact that these women can find men to put up with them, but some great-quality women who aren't at all like that can't.

Since: Oct 09

Wagner, SD

#9 Feb 14, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
I actually thought that, too. Show her what it's like to listen to that crap.
Except that she likely won't care and she'll say sheet like "well, if you wouldn't do what you do then I wouldn't sound like that". And it's the reason why counseling likely wouldn't work, either,'cause she'd still put it all on him and wouldn't listen to the counselor. People like that, both men and women, only listen to what they want to hear, nothing else. And nothing is their fault.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#10 Feb 14, 2013
LW1: A: It's a club ... it's not like he's a direct supervisor at your job. B= He's a supervisor for a club you aren't even in ... it's at a different school after all. C=He's practically the same age as you. D= You sound really childish. E=You don't even know if they guy likes you in this manner.

LW2: Certain things you should work on and I would say shutting the shower curtain is one, because the thing will get all nasty ... but you don't have to change yourself in every way she wants you to change.

In that regard you are just as much part of the problem. If she continually nags you about stuff, instead of caving every time and thinking gee she must be onto something ... I will now remake myself to make her happy ... tell her to quit nagging you and you don't want to always hear her negativity. IF she keeps up say, well gee, since we are putting everything on the table, you know you aren't quiet as perfect as you think you are and tell her some things about her that you wish she would work on.

Quit being a doormat ... women don't respect that. Be a man.

LW3: Unless you want it to be the lamest f'ing bachelor party in the history of bachelor parties, your first mistake was asking Amy what to do at a bachelor party.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#11 Feb 14, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
LW3: Unless you want it to be the lamest f'ing bachelor party in the history of bachelor parties, your first mistake was asking Amy what to do at a bachelor party.
HA!

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#12 Feb 14, 2013
L1: Go for it.

L2: Tell her the one thing little thing that drives you nuts is her pointing out this kind of crap the way she does. Just ask to please remember to close the curtain. She's a drama queen. Repeatedly a drama queen, it sounds like. I agree, counselling might help.

L3: At 70, I think Amy's idea wasn't bad. They would have been in their 30s back in the 50's. We have have car shows downtown in our town in the summer and there are people of all ages, but there are lots of old guys (70+) with really cool old cars.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#13 Feb 14, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
LW3: Unless you want it to be the lamest f'ing bachelor party in the history of bachelor parties, your first mistake was asking Amy what to do at a bachelor party.
Ha!

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#14 Feb 14, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
LW3: Unless you want it to be the lamest f'ing bachelor party in the history of bachelor parties, your first mistake was asking Amy what to do at a bachelor party.
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
HA!
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Ha!
HA!

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#15 Feb 14, 2013
Heh?
Sam I Am

Knoxville, TN

#16 Feb 14, 2013
1. He's not a supervisor for your club, unwad your panties and give it a shot.

2. Quit giving in. The next thing she brings up, tell her tuff noogies, she's just going to have to accept it because addressing all her other peeves has just gotten you more peeves. Things might come to a head, but you can't keep chasing your tail. And get a backbone, man.

3.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#17 Feb 14, 2013
<LOLing at JMW, Angela, and Tonka>

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#18 Feb 14, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
Quit being a doormat ... women don't respect that. Be a man.
I say that stopping up the shower drain with hair, leaving wet towels on the floor, and not rinsing out the sink after shaving is called for.

If that doesn't shut her up, wipe your azz with her toothbrush daily for a week, and then point out what you've done while she's brushing. It'll change your lives.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#19 Feb 14, 2013
Sam I Am wrote:
1. He's not a supervisor for your club, unwad your panties and give it a shot.
2. Quit giving in. The next thing she brings up, tell her tuff noogies, she's just going to have to accept it because addressing all her other peeves has just gotten you more peeves. Things might come to a head, but you can't keep chasing your tail. And get a backbone, man.
3.
You know, with that wife, I'd be tempted to just do MORE shit to piss her off.
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#20 Feb 14, 2013
Saluki Rod wrote:
<quoted text>
I say that stopping up the shower drain with hair, leaving wet towels on the floor, and not rinsing out the sink after shaving is called for.
If that doesn't shut her up, wipe your azz with her toothbrush daily for a week, and then point out what you've done while she's brushing. It'll change your lives.
So goes the story of why there is a little angel stuck on top of Christmas trees....

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