Stockholm Syndrome
Drama Queen

Benton, IL

#23 Apr 9, 2013
"Worth the Read" I have heard u rant and rant about poor pitiful me...Why don't you take a lesson from "been there" and move on with your life. You should try spending time with your children...grandchildren...etc ....Life happens and some of us get a shittier end of the stick then others but we learn from experiences and THAT IS WHAT MAKES US A BETTER PERSON! "Been There" seems to learned this and not let her past get in the way of her future...I'm not saying that you should forget or even forgive whoever hurt you instead learn and grow from this...Know you are stronger Because you survived and that you are a better person than the people who hurt you...I am sorry that this happened to you but channel that anger to something better...I know pain ...have felt it more than most people will ever trust me....but I am strong...independent...an amazing mother...wife...teacher...frie nd and much more because of it....Try it ! Living and smiling about life is so much better than living in the past
with anger!!!!!!
WorthTheRead

Paducah, KY

#25 Apr 10, 2013
Another thing parents should lookout for their children.

Churches aren't safe either. Theres always a pervert in the crowd. Perverts seek other perverts for assistance. My older brother and a few of his friends would have circle jerks in the furnace room. How do I know? They lured me down to the basement and trapped/blocked me in and laughed while I screamed. I couldn't get out.

I was terrified I was going to be raped. I told on him and he set the furnace room on fire.

Knowing the signs of psychopaths is an important lesson for any person who comes in contact with them.

Notice the withdrawn sibling...

church

Benton, IL

#26 Apr 10, 2013
WorthTheRead wrote:
Another thing parents should lookout for their children.
Churches aren't safe either. Theres always a pervert in the crowd. Perverts seek other perverts for assistance. My older brother and a few of his friends would have circle jerks in the furnace room. How do I know? They lured me down to the basement and trapped/blocked me in and laughed while I screamed. I couldn't get out.
I was terrified I was going to be raped. I told on him and he set the furnace room on fire.
Knowing the signs of psychopaths is an important lesson for any person who comes in contact with them.
Notice the withdrawn sibling...
That is just crazy. At what Church? In what town? And after you told on them what happened to them? How did the church deal with the allegations?
interesting

Benton, IL

#27 Apr 10, 2013
And did this happen in west frankfort?
WorthTheRead

Paducah, KY

#28 Apr 10, 2013
Mommy dearest blamed me for the attack. My step dad kicked my brothers ass. We put the fire out and he was worried about how he was going to explain he fire damage and if he would get fired. We worked there. He was asked to step down as a deacon...not sure if that's why. So if you're asking if I walked up to the preacher...my answer is..would you??! I was kid. All I wanted it to do was go away.

Also at one point he was asked to leave his job...so it could've been for that reason. Who knows. Who cares.

The point is the behavior to look out for in adolesents. Sratring a fire is a helluva clue!
CircleJerks

Benton, IL

#29 Apr 10, 2013
Hey now there ain't nothen wrong with a good old circle jerk..why not help a buddy out! Sound to me like worth the read is a little upset that her brother wouldn't let her play ...try finding a few friends to play stinky pinky with!
WorthTheRead

Paducah, KY

#30 Apr 10, 2013
Well well...what have we here? Another WF resident who wants to circle jerk his sister?
impossible

Ashburn, VA

#31 Apr 11, 2013
WorthTheRead wrote:
Well well...what have we here? Another WF resident who wants to circle jerk his sister?
It would be really hard to have a circle jerk with your sister unless she has a penis.....lmao
curious

Ashburn, VA

#32 Apr 11, 2013
Worth the Read the traumatic events that you speak of did they involve you being dropped on your head a few times...this shits crackdown me up!
Now thats funny

San Jose, CA

#33 Apr 11, 2013
curious wrote:
Worth the Read the traumatic events that you speak of did they involve you being dropped on your head a few times...this shits crackdown me up!
Too shay! Now this is some funny shit!!!!
WorthTheRead

Paducah, KY

#34 Apr 11, 2013
Thank you for asking! Its typical behavior used by the budding psychopath to degrade women.

Whos really to say. At the least.. all of them were on the road to a host of mental disorders to choose from. Misogyny for sure! The lack of respect for the church is noteworthy.

Doubtful all of them turned out to be sociopaths. The little willy who started the fire gets the sociopathic crown!
WorthTheRead

Paducah, KY

#35 Apr 11, 2013
There are two warning signs that a child may be a psychopath - cruelty to animals and fire-setting.

If your child enjoys pulling the wings off insects or hurting the family pets don't ignore it! If they also seem to have a fascination with fire and you have caught them setting fire to things you may have a budding psychopath on your hands.

Children will be cruel to animals through ignorance of the pain they are inflicting so it is important to educate them about how the animal feels when they do these things. It is the child who cannot seem to grasp, or care, about how they are making the animal feel who may be a psychopath.

If you have a child who seems to enjoy inflicting pain, even after you have tried to teach them empathy, it is imperative that you take action! It is possible the child is a budding psychopath but this is also a symptom of severe abuse. Abused children often act out their feelings about the abuse by passing on the pain.

Children will also be interested in fire until they learn about its dangers and the damage it can do. It is the child who does not grow out of their fascination with fire and who does not seem to care about the harm it can do to other people or to other people's possessions who may be a budding psychopath.

We know psychopaths are born but we do not know if a normal child can turn into a psychopath through NOT being taught to feel empathy for other living things. A lot of people are failing to teach their children to think about how others might feel when they do things and we may be seeing an increase in psychopathic behaviour because of that.
informative

Benton, IL

#36 Apr 11, 2013
WorthTheRead wrote:
There are two warning signs that a child may be a psychopath - cruelty to animals and fire-setting.
If your child enjoys pulling the wings off insects or hurting the family pets don't ignore it! If they also seem to have a fascination with fire and you have caught them setting fire to things you may have a budding psychopath on your hands.
Children will be cruel to animals through ignorance of the pain they are inflicting so it is important to educate them about how the animal feels when they do these things. It is the child who cannot seem to grasp, or care, about how they are making the animal feel who may be a psychopath.
If you have a child who seems to enjoy inflicting pain, even after you have tried to teach them empathy, it is imperative that you take action! It is possible the child is a budding psychopath but this is also a symptom of severe abuse. Abused children often act out their feelings about the abuse by passing on the pain.
Children will also be interested in fire until they learn about its dangers and the damage it can do. It is the child who does not grow out of their fascination with fire and who does not seem to care about the harm it can do to other people or to other people's possessions who may be a budding psychopath.
We know psychopaths are born but we do not know if a normal child can turn into a psychopath through NOT being taught to feel empathy for other living things. A lot of people are failing to teach their children to think about how others might feel when they do things and we may be seeing an increase in psychopathic behaviour because of that.
You are so informative that I hope you are a physco...I'm physiologist.....when did u start setting fires or molesting your own children...you know way to much not to of!
WorthTheRead

Paducah, KY

#37 Apr 11, 2013
Whats wrong? Is the detestable side of life too much for you? Or is it much worse and we need to send someone to check on your children.
informative

Benton, IL

#38 Apr 11, 2013
Send them I don't have any kids....wouldn't want them to turn out like you....lol
informative

Benton, IL

#39 Apr 11, 2013
By that I MEAN a crazy narcissistic, imbalanced, lien, mental case!
WorthTheRead

Paducah, KY

#40 Apr 11, 2013
The philosophy behind victim blaming is not particularly complex. It's known a the 'Just World Theory'(or sometimes the 'Just World Fallacy')- People to want to believe that the world is just and fair. This is their personal comfort zone, and when they are thrown out of their comfort zone by witnessing something which is inexplicably unjust - such as rape - they will attempt to rationalise it by finding reasons to blame the victim for their own misfortune. They can maintain their belief in a just world, but only by blaming the victim for something that was not, objectively, their fault. Their comfort zone remains undisturbed. They feel safer; they know that such an injustice won't happen to them because they won't invite it upon themselves like the rape victim did. As a form of defence, it's equivalent to sticking your fingers in your ears and pretending that not hearing something means it didn't happen.

A 1999 study by social psychologist Linda Carli shows victim blame in action. From Wikipedia: Female and male subjects were told two versions of a story about an interaction between a woman and a man. Both variations were exactly the same, except at the very end the man raped the woman in one and in the other he proposed marriage. In both conditions, both female and male subjects viewed the woman's (identical) actions as inevitably leading to the (very different) results.

Victim blame is not new. It's not shocking. But it is tiresome, and it is about time we exposed it for the pile of steaming, rancid illogic that it is
WorthTheRead

Paducah, KY

#41 Apr 13, 2013
In conlusion..the best thing about being the family scapegoat is in the fact they know all he family secrets and how far they are willing to go to hide them.:)
WorthTheRead

Paducah, KY

#42 Apr 14, 2013
Strategies

1. Childhood Responses to Threat

When humans are young, their world often revolves around their parents. Parents are the source of safety and security, of love and understanding, of nurturance and support. A child experiencing abuse develops strategies, which become coping mechanisms which enable day-to-day functioning, but yet help the child detach from the emotional and physical pain of events, especially when abuse continues over a long period of time (Henderson, 2006).

Researchers have observed a number of different ways individuals respond to dangerous or abusive environments. The human body and human mind have sets of primitive, deeply ingrained physical and mental responses to threat of which there are two main types:
•hyper-arousal continuum ('fight or flight'), i.e., vigilance, resistance (freeze), defiance, aggression
•dissociative continuum, i.e. avoidance, compliance (appease), dissociation, fainting (Perry, Pollard, Blakely, Baker, & Vigilante, 1995).

In the face of persisting threat, a child will either move along the hyper-arousal continuum (the child's version of 'fight or flight') or into the dissociative continuum (Perry et al., 1995). The individual response will depend upon the age of the child and the nature of the threat. The younger the individual, the more likely he/she is to use dissociative adaptations rather than hyper-arousal responses (Perry et al., 1995).

'Fight or flight' response (Hyper-arousal continuum)

The most familiar set of responses to threat has been labelled 'fight or flight' reactions i.e. an instinctive decision to either stay and try to overcome the presenting danger (fight) or to run away from it (flight). Infants and children however are unlikely to use a classic 'fight or flight' response as they are rarely capable of being able to either fight or flee (Perry et al., 1995).

‘Fight or flight’ are not the only response-sets to threat. In the initial stages of distress, a young child will use vocalization, i.e. crying, to alert a caretaker that he/she is under threat. This is a successful adaptive response if the caretaker takes appropriate action and fights for, or flees with, the child. If a child’s cries for help are ignored and no help arrives, or if the trauma is being inflicted by the actual caregiver, the child may shift from hyper-arousal to dissociation (Perry et al., 1995).

Freeze

Protracted threat may cause a child to ‘freeze’. The adaptive advantage of this response is clear: being still or quiet means one is less likely to be seen or heard, and gives one time to prepare to respond to a potential threat (Cozolino, 2008). Internally, the freeze response increases anxiety and decreases cognitive processes so that it allows one to ‘figure out’ how to respond (Perry et al., 1995). Being motionless is an effective form of camouflage which reduces the likelihood of attracting a predator.

Children who have been traumatized will often use this freezing mechanism when they feel anxious (Perry et al., 1995). In situations where the child feels anxious or out of control (e.g. a family visit) the traumatized-child may cognitively (and often, physically) freeze. In such cases the child may act as if he/she hasn’t heard or ‘refuses’ to follow an adult’s instructions. Such non-compliance forces the adult to increase the ‘threat’ by ramping up the instructions. This increased ‘threat’ makes the child feel even more anxious and out of control. The more anxious the child feels, the more readily the child will move from anxious to threatened, and then from threatened to terrorized. If sufficiently terrorized,‘freezing’ may escalate into complete dissociation (Perry et al., 1995).
WorthTheRead

Paducah, KY

#43 Apr 14, 2013
. Childhood Coping Strategies
Avoidant Coping Strategies:
•1. Dissociation
A child who experiences extreme abuse has few coping mechanisms at his or her disposal. Understanding and integrating the experience may overwhelm the child’s coping mechanisms. In the absence of effective coping skills, the child's most likely option for psychologically surviving the abuse is to dissociate or shut off the experience from his/her consciousness (Henderson, 2006; Perry et al., 1995).
Dissociation refers to the mental processes that create a lack of connection in the person’s thoughts, memories, feelings, actions or sense of self (Amir & Lev-Wiesel, 2007; Reber & Reber, 2001). Traumatized children use a variety of dissociative techniques. In dissociating, the child (or adult survivor) alters the normal links between thoughts, feelings and memories (Briere, 1992) and so decreases awareness of, or numbs the pain of distressing events (Putnam, 1985). Dissociation is commonly referred to as being ‘spaced out’,‘blocking things out’ and ‘being out of touch with one's emotions’. Infants and young children commonly employ a variety of dissociative responses such as: numbing, avoidance, and restricted affect. Children report going to a ‘different place’,‘assuming the persona of heroes or animals’, a sense of ‘watching a movie that I was in’ or ‘just floating’. Observers will report these children as numb, robotic, non-reactive,‘day dreaming’,‘acting like he was not there’ or ‘staring off into space with a glazed look’(Perry et al., 1995).
•Splitting
Splitting is often related to early abuse and appears to be a mechanism by which people can preserve some semblance of happiness in the face of very negative experiences. Splitting refers to the failure to integrate the positive and negative qualities of self or others into cohesive images (Mounier & Andujo, 2003). People with split representations struggle with highly polarized ‘black or white, but not grey’ views of others and self; people are viewed as either entirely good or bad (Dombeck, 2008; Reber & Reber, 2001). Originally, this idea was used to describe how a child deals with the presence of both good and bad in an abusive parent by creating distinct categories in their mind between good mother/ father or bad mother/ father (Mollon, 2002).
•Fragmentation of personality
When chronic child abuse occurs the personality is organised around the central principles of fragmentation because fragmentation serves to keep the trauma out of conscious awareness (Herman, 1992).
•Denial
Child abuse often violates the trust which forms the core of the child’s relationship with the world. The child’s attempts to reorganize his/her understanding of his or her world often exceed his/her cognitive-affective abilities. Rather than experience the complete cognitive paralysis or disintegration which can occur from such a severe disruption to the child’s world, the child uses denial, a defence mechanism that simply denies thoughts, feelings, wishes or needs that cause anxiety. Denial seems to be the mind’s way of staving off complete dysfunction precipitated by overwhelming trauma (Walker, 1994). Denial may enable an individual to survive and function until a time at which he/she is able to come to terms with the event. In this context the term ‘denial’ describes unconscious operations that ‘deny’ that which cannot be dealt with consciously (Reber & Reber, 2001, p. 187).

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