Since: Aug 11

Location hidden

#1 Aug 15, 2011
Lemme tell you guys & gals, I love mountain dew. Thankfully I'm not addicted to various recreational drugs and household cleaners, but i am tied down to the sweet temptations of mountain dew...hmmmmm hmmmmmm! I'm all cranked up on its caffeinated powers. I cant resist it..and neither will you after this bed time story..........

My girlfriend (well, use to be girlfriend) came home and said "baby lets dew it", so i grabbed my 24-can travel pack of dew and poured it all over her hot, sweaty, voluptuous body....ruined her perm and all. I poured them all over her "stone cold steve austin" style, which means I clanked them together and they exploded into a glorious fountain of liquid pleasure. They say the #1 rule in love making is to never get "it" in your partner's hair.......but those foamy, mountain dew bubbles just had a mind of their own that night.

What can I do to salvage my relationship?

Since: Aug 11

Clintwood, VA

#2 Aug 21, 2011
Rhaps wrote:
Lemme tell you guys & gals, I love mountain dew. Thankfully I'm not addicted to various recreational drugs and household cleaners, but i am tied down to the sweet temptations of mountain dew...hmmmmm hmmmmmm! I'm all cranked up on its caffeinated powers. I cant resist it..and neither will you after this bed time story..........
My girlfriend (well, use to be girlfriend) came home and said "baby lets dew it", so i grabbed my 24-can travel pack of dew and poured it all over her hot, sweaty, voluptuous body....ruined her perm and all. I poured them all over her "stone cold steve austin" style, which means I clanked them together and they exploded into a glorious fountain of liquid pleasure. They say the #1 rule in love making is to never get "it" in your partner's hair.......but those foamy, mountain dew bubbles just had a mind of their own that night.
What can I do to salvage my relationship?
I suggest first taking your lady out for a swim in the waters of Lake Minatonka, just outside the Water "Reclamation" Plant in Christiansburg. Or, better yet, just take a stroll through Christiansburg past that Due South BBQ and let her smell the sweet aroma of the broken sewer pipes. After that she will be begging for the sweet dew all over her face! My nights in Cburg usually go down like an episode of "Swamp People"; I go out on the bayou late at night, searching the murky waters for anything that looks edible. For a long time there is nothing, nothing, nothing; sometimes I go days without any luck....... then all of a sudden, I see her!.........TRWEESHAKA! TAWEESHAKA!... I quickly bust out my rope of love, snare the untamed beast, then jump in the water,thrust myself on top of her, and wrestle her to the ground! After some struggle, when I have her where I want her, thats when I know its time. Shoot her Elizabef! SHOOOOT HERRRR! I aim for her face every time. After I'm done, I pack up and go home, satisfied of my conquest. I'm still looking for the mysterious monster of the bayou however, we just call her "one eye". Some say she doesn't exist; I say it's just a matter patients, agility, and skill. Like a ninja. I haven't seen her yet, but I know she's out there. I'll let you know if I bag her.
Rhaps

Clintwood, VA

#3 Aug 23, 2011
That's Great, it's so great I wish I could think up something like that. But I can't.

Since: Aug 11

Location hidden

#4 Aug 23, 2011
You stolled by password bitch, now im coming for you and your family
Rhaps

Clintwood, VA

#5 Aug 23, 2011
Sorry I didn't mean that I'm bipolar I go through mood swings. My therapist has concluded that I've buried my true homosexuality down deep to hide it, so it come out in anger.

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