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I would like to respond to motherAlaska12...I am someone who is indirectly related to your son. My ex-husband is your deceased ex-husband Chris Sr.'s cousin. Chris Jr.'s grandmother Julia was my kid's great-aunt. Her sister is my kids' grandmother.
First, I would like to offer my sympathy to you as a mother. I know that you will always love your son and I commend you for that. Noone knows what the reasons are that people do what they do but by the same logic, noone has the right to judge because every human is just one situation away from making a wrong choice. I am not saying that to lessen the loss of the people who were killed by your son, but only because I truly believe that anyone has the capacity to hurt and/or kill others if all the circumstances of their lives reach that point in time when the wrong choice seems to be the right one. We are all humans, and the human species is not with major flaws....every one of us.
I met your ex Chris Sr. once when my then boyfriend (later spouse)and I went to visit him at the base in San Diego. He seemed like such a happy-go-lucky guy and I really enjoyed spending time with him. We went to the San Diego Zoo and spent a few hours with him.
Later, after marrying Chris Sr.'s cousin, I sent Xmas cards to him, and I believe to you when Chris Sr was in Maine. Then somehow we lost contact....that was so many years ago. Much later I heard that Chris Sr's family had disowned him because of his drug use or some such reason.
I do not know if Chris Sr even had a funeral...I could not find an obituary for him when I searched Google. That I find incredibly sad, if it is true. I can tell you that it affected his extended family here in AZ with shock and deep sadness. Again, we do not know the relationship between Chris Sr and Chris Jr. but it is so tragic that it had to end this way.
My oldest son also has issues and I have heard the cruel comments that people say regarding why he would do what he did, since he is an incredibly intelligent person. I know that there are two sides to every story and that every situation in a person's life, combined with that person's personality and ability to handle stress, can greatly impact a person's ability to do the right thing under extreme emotional duress.
Noone deserves to die because another person is mentally incapable of making the right choices, but again, noone should judge another unless they have walked in their shoes, and many more people than anyone can imagine will end up in their shoes or with a family member or friend that has crumbled mentally under the stress of dealing with life with a mental illness. Until you have been there, do not judge....I commend you for loving your son unconditionally.
And I am deeply sorry for Chris Sr's untimely death and the death of other innocent victims....it is a tragedy to all that are involved and will continue to affect EVERYONE on all sides for the rest of their lives. Truly a human tragedy of great proportions.
Good luck to you - stay strong and positive and try to recover as much of your life as you can. I know how hard it is, because nothing will ever be the same.
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