Why Women Need Friends and How to Keep Them

Helen Keller once wrote, "Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light." Most women and countless scientific studies would agree.

[Bduncan]

I struggle everyday with the complete lack of a friend. I work in an all male environment also. My work weeks r 10 days long and at night. I have a boyfriend who always has friend around and he just doesnt understand why I need a friend.
I HAVENT HAD a friend in 15yrs. I am beyond lonely for a friend, I am lost and living in a rural area I dont have any social options. My mother is the only woman in my life but I dont need or want my mother anymore.
How do I deal, I dont see the situation changing?

[online]

maybe you can look online and find some online girl group as a start.

[Gottaliv]

Bduncan wrote:

My mother is the only woman in my life but I dont need or want my mother anymore.

I think that is one of the saddest things I've read on this forum.

I could understand if you had only said you didn't "need" your mother anymore... but not "want" her???

[TBA]

Bduncan wrote:

I struggle everyday with the complete lack of a friend. I work in an all male environment also. My work weeks r 10 days long and at night. I have a boyfriend who always has friend around and he just doesnt understand why I need a friend.
I HAVENT HAD a friend in 15yrs. I am beyond lonely for a friend, I am lost and living in a rural area I dont have any social options. My mother is the only woman in my life but I dont need or want my mother anymore.
How do I deal, I dont see the situation changing?

You are lucky to have a mother. I'd give anything to have mine back. Count your blessings.

[Gia]

TBA wrote:

<quoted text>
You are lucky to have a mother. I'd give anything to have mine back. Count your blessings.

Me too. I just don't get how she hasn't had a female friend in 15 years but if that's the type of attitude she diplays to her own mother, then maybe that's a good starting point to look at. I may be wrong but maybe she needs to look at her attitude and inner self. South Carolina is full of many good people ... Yemassee excluded !! Lol.

[TBA]

TBA wrote:

<quoted text>
You are lucky to have a mother. I'd give anything to have mine back. Count your blessings.

Whoever judged my comment as funny, please realise I only recently lost my mother and there is nothing funny about it.

[Gia]

TBA wrote:

<quoted text>
Whoever judged my comment as funny, please realise I only recently lost my mother and there is nothing funny about it.

It wasn't me TBA, I replied to you but I would never have put a funny icon your post.

[Gottaliv]

Gottaliv wrote:

<quoted text> I think that is one of the saddest things I've read on this forum. I could understand if you had only said you didn't "need" your mother anymore... but not "want" her???

To the person who marked my above comment "funny, racy and clueless" - would you care to explain why?

There was nothing funny or racy about it and it's interesting to see someone thought it was... and "clueless"...??? How so?

I have 3 adult children, they have all grown beyond their constant "need" of me a long time ago, but they ALL still "want" me in their lives (I take this as a great compliment) and very occasionally they "need" me too - but we certainly don't live in each other's pockets. We are all independent people in our own right, and we are ALL friends. We all don't have a multitude of friends, but the ones we have are worth having.

My kids were bought up to believe (and learned this for themselves as well) that there are no people more important in their lives other than their own family. WE are there for each other when friends abandon us, usually at a time of greatest need, and can always be relied on no matter what the problem. WE make the time for each other, even when it's very scarce.

I never buy cards for anyone, I make my own. The next post is a poem I wrote for my son one year, perhaps it might tell you something of value. I'm posting it for no other reason than that as you really need to learn something. Take from it what you will or ignore it completely, it matters not to me.

[Gottaliv]

‘Happy Birthday' are two little words, that bring to mind so much
The years of golden memories... the happy times... and such.
I only have to open up my heart to have a look
It's like turning all the pages, of the chapters in a book.

The years have gone so quickly, but I still recall the time,
To me you'd run with all your cares. It was then, I called you mine.
I see you there so young and free, a smile lights up your eyes,
Mischievous and happy, a young man in disguise.

I turn another page to find, you'd grown so very fast
Head-strong and confidant, you'd found your feet at last.
You'd grown beyond your need of me, you own road now to walk
The scene so very far removed, from when first you learned to talk.

That's what this life is all about, opening doors and letting in.
When another chapter ends, a new one will begin.
The miles already covered, have shown you many things
Heartbreak, love and happiness... and pleasure in simple things.

So my son remember, as you turn each precious page
Each day is yours to cherish, and that wisdom comes with age.
Remember also lessons learnt, be wise in choices made
And correct mistakes along the way, as through this life you wade.

Don't let misunderstandings be the guiding force with you.
Be honest, true and loyal, with everything you do.
Share yourself with others, be gentle with their hearts
Because the love you give away, comes back from many paths.

You're only given one chance, with this lesson we call life
So live it now with open mind, and live with joy - not strife.
Make each day a happy one, that's within your power to do,
And be generous, kind and loving, as it will return to you.

Love Always
Mum

[Gia]

Gottaliv wrote:

<quoted text>
To the person who marked my above comment "funny, racy and clueless" - would you care to explain why?
There was nothing funny or racy about it and it's interesting to see someone thought it was... and "clueless"...??? How so?
I have 3 adult children, they have all grown beyond their constant "need" of me a long time ago, but they ALL still "want" me in their lives (I take this as a great compliment) and very occasionally they "need" me too - but we certainly don't live in each other's pockets. We are all independent people in our own right, and we are ALL friends. We all don't have a multitude of friends, but the ones we have are worth having.
My kids were bought up to believe (and learned this for themselves as well) that there are no people more important in their lives other than their own family. WE are there for each other when friends abandon us, usually at a time of greatest need, and can always be relied on no matter what the problem. WE make the time for each other, even when it's very scarce.
I never buy cards for anyone, I make my own. The next post is a poem I wrote for my son one year, perhaps it might tell you something of value. I'm posting it for no other reason than that as you really need to learn something. Take from it what you will or ignore it completely, it matters not to me.

It was not me. Seems someone is running rampant and just stirring up crap. They probably don't have anything better to do with their time.

[Gottaliv]

Gia wrote:

<quoted text> It was not me. Seems someone is running rampant and just stirring up crap. They probably don't have anything better to do with their time.

For sure, but I'm in fight-back mode tonight and wasn't about to let that one go!:)

[TBA]

Gia wrote:

<quoted text>
It wasn't me TBA, I replied to you but I would never have put a funny icon your post.

I know Gia, just some dickhead troll.

[whoa]

Gottaliv wrote:

<quoted text>
I think that is one of the saddest things I've read on this forum.
I could understand if you had only said you didn't "need" your mother anymore... but not "want" her???

Only one person I can think of who used racy to judge posts..I think he's infatuated with the lips.

[Gia]

Gottaliv wrote:

<quoted text>
For sure, but I'm in fight-back mode tonight and wasn't about to let that one go!:)

I hear that !! I'm so over the morons that post crap or make stupid icons on things that are meant to be serious. I wish the Forum Admin would get rid of serial dickheads, as they haven't got anything to contribute here, forum or not.

[Gottaliv]

whoa wrote:

<quoted text>Only one person I can think of who used racy to judge posts..I think he's infatuated with the lips.

Com'onnn... tell us. Who?

[AznTallDude]

Dear Bduncan...

my thoughts are that perhaps the lack of having your own friend has led you down the alley that you even start to "push" your mum away, given a situation where you have your own friend, your stand on yr statement would probably change.. i guess its due to you not having another person to talk to or spend time with that led you down this alley... you work in a rural area does not make things any much easier.. my suggestion is that perhaps its time for you to dig out your roots and move to a slightly bigger city and and try to do some thing else for a change, in the process you probably meet new people and so on...

PPL... lets not go about trashing her for saying this and that.. given her situation i think she needs understanding and positive advise.. two zero's does not make a one if you know what i mean..

[Gottaliv]

AznTallDude wrote:

. PPL... lets not go about trashing her for saying this and that.. given her situation i think she needs understanding and positive advise.. two zero's does not make a one if you know what i mean..

Nobody here is "trashing" the original poster. We're objecting to the idiot marking serious comments as funny.

I feel for Bduncan as it would be a lonely situation to be in and the comment about her mother might mean they are not close or don't get on, who knows? We all have the power to change our situations, sometimes we just don't know how or where to begin.

[Gia]

The poster has community cntres she can accquaint herself with in Silverstreet and nearby Newberry. I was questioning her attitude towards her mother. And yes, after that some moron put nasty icons on 2 of the posters.

[Gia]

Community Centres that was meant to read.

[TBA]

Gottaliv wrote:

‘Happy Birthday' are two little words, that bring to mind so much
The years of golden memories... the happy times... and such.
I only have to open up my heart to have a look
It's like turning all the pages, of the chapters in a book.
The years have gone so quickly, but I still recall the time,
To me you'd run with all your cares. It was then, I called you mine.
I see you there so young and free, a smile lights up your eyes,
Mischievous and happy, a young man in disguise.
I turn another page to find, you'd grown so very fast
Head-strong and confidant, you'd found your feet at last.
You'd grown beyond your need of me, you own road now to walk
The scene so very far removed, from when first you learned to talk.
That's what this life is all about, opening doors and letting in.
When another chapter ends, a new one will begin.
The miles already covered, have shown you many things
Heartbreak, love and happiness... and pleasure in simple things.
So my son remember, as you turn each precious page
Each day is yours to cherish, and that wisdom comes with age.
Remember also lessons learnt, be wise in choices made
And correct mistakes along the way, as through this life you wade.
Don't let misunderstandings be the guiding force with you.
Be honest, true and loyal, with everything you do.
Share yourself with others, be gentle with their hearts
Because the love you give away, comes back from many paths.
You're only given one chance, with this lesson we call life
So live it now with open mind, and live with joy - not strife.
Make each day a happy one, that's within your power to do,
And be generous, kind and loving, as it will return to you.
Love Always
Mum

It's lovely, Gotta, thanks for sharing.