Zombie Corpse Rental

Campbell, CA

#1 Mar 1, 2016
WTH are you people eating, anyway?!
Fartman doo

Richmond, TX

#2 Mar 1, 2016
So it was with good reason that I felt I was king of the castle when it came to my bowel movements. My daily deposit worked with my schedule, not the other way around. That all changed one lazy Southern evening....wet farts are good...

I had just received a call from my workout buddy to meet him outside for a quick run around town. Without hesitation I threw on a mesh pair of Adidas running shorts and some running shoes with ankle-length socks. I figured after a quick pee I would be ready to go. "Not so fast," my crack said...then I farted...

While urinating, I felt the urge to poot. Nothing unusual, I thought, so I let rip. And rip I did! Still to this day I have no idea - whether it was dietary or psychological - what caused what happened next. Before I could even internally feel that my bowels had opened the gates of colon hell, I saw mushy colon sausage covering my shoes, ankles, calves and groin. The smell was definitely Third World. Make no mistake; this wasn't diarrhea. This was all-American, tax-paying, American-as-apple-pie shit... just poop dropped from a high altitude, thus accounting for its mushy state the further down my legs it reached. What baffled me the most was that the entire process took no longer than one second to complete. My trap door had just opened up, done its deed, and closed up like a shutter on an Ansel Adams camera loaded with 800 speed film...farts...

I had no other choice but to jump in the shower with all my crap-covered athletic clothes still on me. I can still vividly see creamy, brown ass batter circling the drain, like a 747 waiting for clearance to land on a busy day at JFK International. Itís needless to say that I didnít end up running that day, for I was already thoroughly defeated....wet farts...

After regaining my composure, I reluctantly began the cleanup process of the bathroom. The NGOs cleaning the Gulf shore and banks of Southern Alaska after their respective oil spills had an easier job, no doubt. As for the bath mat that surrounded the toilet? Yeah, a complete loss....farts smell good though...

To this day I have never taken the act of farting while peeing as lightly as I did that day eleven years ago....farts...
Urinal fart cakes

Houston, TX

#3 Mar 1, 2016
Fartman doo wrote:
So it was with good reason that I felt I was king of the castle when it came to my bowel movements. My daily deposit worked with my schedule, not the other way around. That all changed one lazy Southern evening....wet farts are good...
I had just received a call from my workout buddy to meet him outside for a quick run around town. Without hesitation I threw on a mesh pair of Adidas running shorts and some running shoes with ankle-length socks. I figured after a quick pee I would be ready to go. "Not so fast," my crack said...then I farted...
While urinating, I felt the urge to poot. Nothing unusual, I thought, so I let rip. And rip I did! Still to this day I have no idea - whether it was dietary or psychological - what caused what happened next. Before I could even internally feel that my bowels had opened the gates of colon hell, I saw mushy colon sausage covering my shoes, ankles, calves and groin. The smell was definitely Third World. Make no mistake; this wasn't diarrhea. This was all-American, tax-paying, American-as-apple-pie shit... just poop dropped from a high altitude, thus accounting for its mushy state the further down my legs it reached. What baffled me the most was that the entire process took no longer than one second to complete. My trap door had just opened up, done its deed, and closed up like a shutter on an Ansel Adams camera loaded with 800 speed film...farts...
I had no other choice but to jump in the shower with all my crap-covered athletic clothes still on me. I can still vividly see creamy, brown ass batter circling the drain, like a 747 waiting for clearance to land on a busy day at JFK International. Itís needless to say that I didnít end up running that day, for I was already thoroughly defeated....wet farts...
After regaining my composure, I reluctantly began the cleanup process of the bathroom. The NGOs cleaning the Gulf shore and banks of Southern Alaska after their respective oil spills had an easier job, no doubt. As for the bath mat that surrounded the toilet? Yeah, a complete loss....farts smell good though...
To this day I have never taken the act of farting while peeing as lightly as I did that day eleven years ago....farts...
Wet Squirt farts
Grunt release fart

Houston, TX

#4 Mar 1, 2016
Fartman doo wrote:
So it was with good reason that I felt I was king of the castle when it came to my bowel movements. My daily deposit worked with my schedule, not the other way around. That all changed one lazy Southern evening....wet farts are good...
I had just received a call from my workout buddy to meet him outside for a quick run around town. Without hesitation I threw on a mesh pair of Adidas running shorts and some running shoes with ankle-length socks. I figured after a quick pee I would be ready to go. "Not so fast," my crack said...then I farted...
While urinating, I felt the urge to poot. Nothing unusual, I thought, so I let rip. And rip I did! Still to this day I have no idea - whether it was dietary or psychological - what caused what happened next. Before I could even internally feel that my bowels had opened the gates of colon hell, I saw mushy colon sausage covering my shoes, ankles, calves and groin. The smell was definitely Third World. Make no mistake; this wasn't diarrhea. This was all-American, tax-paying, American-as-apple-pie shit... just poop dropped from a high altitude, thus accounting for its mushy state the further down my legs it reached. What baffled me the most was that the entire process took no longer than one second to complete. My trap door had just opened up, done its deed, and closed up like a shutter on an Ansel Adams camera loaded with 800 speed film...farts...
I had no other choice but to jump in the shower with all my crap-covered athletic clothes still on me. I can still vividly see creamy, brown ass batter circling the drain, like a 747 waiting for clearance to land on a busy day at JFK International. Itís needless to say that I didnít end up running that day, for I was already thoroughly defeated....wet farts...
After regaining my composure, I reluctantly began the cleanup process of the bathroom. The NGOs cleaning the Gulf shore and banks of Southern Alaska after their respective oil spills had an easier job, no doubt. As for the bath mat that surrounded the toilet? Yeah, a complete loss....farts smell good though...
To this day I have never taken the act of farting while peeing as lightly as I did that day eleven years ago....farts...
Forcing farts out.
Fart Sniffing Reader

United States

#5 Mar 2, 2016
Fartman doo wrote:
So it was with good reason that I felt I was king of the castle when it came to my bowel movements. My daily deposit worked with my schedule, not the other way around. That all changed one lazy Southern evening....wet farts are good...
I had just received a call from my workout buddy to meet him outside for a quick run around town. Without hesitation I threw on a mesh pair of Adidas running shorts and some running shoes with ankle-length socks. I figured after a quick pee I would be ready to go. "Not so fast," my crack said...then I farted...
While urinating, I felt the urge to poot. Nothing unusual, I thought, so I let rip. And rip I did! Still to this day I have no idea - whether it was dietary or psychological - what caused what happened next. Before I could even internally feel that my bowels had opened the gates of colon hell, I saw mushy colon sausage covering my shoes, ankles, calves and groin. The smell was definitely Third World. Make no mistake; this wasn't diarrhea. This was all-American, tax-paying, American-as-apple-pie shit... just poop dropped from a high altitude, thus accounting for its mushy state the further down my legs it reached. What baffled me the most was that the entire process took no longer than one second to complete. My trap door had just opened up, done its deed, and closed up like a shutter on an Ansel Adams camera loaded with 800 speed film...farts...
I had no other choice but to jump in the shower with all my crap-covered athletic clothes still on me. I can still vividly see creamy, brown ass batter circling the drain, like a 747 waiting for clearance to land on a busy day at JFK International. Itís needless to say that I didnít end up running that day, for I was already thoroughly defeated....wet farts...
After regaining my composure, I reluctantly began the cleanup process of the bathroom. The NGOs cleaning the Gulf shore and banks of Southern Alaska after their respective oil spills had an easier job, no doubt. As for the bath mat that surrounded the toilet? Yeah, a complete loss....farts smell good though...
To this day I have never taken the act of farting while peeing as lightly as I did that day eleven years ago....farts...
Post more fart stories, they smell good.
HILLARY CLINTON STINKS

Hesperia, CA

#6 Mar 12, 2016
Hillary Rotten Cliton Stinks, supporting more illegal aliens to take away your job and making you foot the bill for them. Piss on Hillary the Washington criminal, the toxic cartel. Hillary and Obama invented ISIS and armed them.
Pillow farts

Austin, TX

#7 Mar 12, 2016
Fartman doo wrote:
So it was with good reason that I felt I was king of the castle when it came to my bowel movements. My daily deposit worked with my schedule, not the other way around. That all changed one lazy Southern evening....wet farts are good...
I had just received a call from my workout buddy to meet him outside for a quick run around town. Without hesitation I threw on a mesh pair of Adidas running shorts and some running shoes with ankle-length socks. I figured after a quick pee I would be ready to go. "Not so fast," my crack said...then I farted...
While urinating, I felt the urge to poot. Nothing unusual, I thought, so I let rip. And rip I did! Still to this day I have no idea - whether it was dietary or psychological - what caused what happened next. Before I could even internally feel that my bowels had opened the gates of colon hell, I saw mushy colon sausage covering my shoes, ankles, calves and groin. The smell was definitely Third World. Make no mistake; this wasn't diarrhea. This was all-American, tax-paying, American-as-apple-pie shit... just poop dropped from a high altitude, thus accounting for its mushy state the further down my legs it reached. What baffled me the most was that the entire process took no longer than one second to complete. My trap door had just opened up, done its deed, and closed up like a shutter on an Ansel Adams camera loaded with 800 speed film...farts...
I had no other choice but to jump in the shower with all my crap-covered athletic clothes still on me. I can still vividly see creamy, brown ass batter circling the drain, like a 747 waiting for clearance to land on a busy day at JFK International. Itís needless to say that I didnít end up running that day, for I was already thoroughly defeated....wet farts...
After regaining my composure, I reluctantly began the cleanup process of the bathroom. The NGOs cleaning the Gulf shore and banks of Southern Alaska after their respective oil spills had an easier job, no doubt. As for the bath mat that surrounded the toilet? Yeah, a complete loss....farts smell good though...
To this day I have never taken the act of farting while peeing as lightly as I did that day eleven years ago....farts...
Great farts
Farts

Houston, TX

#8 Mar 12, 2016
Fartman doo wrote:
So it was with good reason that I felt I was king of the castle when it came to my bowel movements. My daily deposit worked with my schedule, not the other way around. That all changed one lazy Southern evening....wet farts are good...
I had just received a call from my workout buddy to meet him outside for a quick run around town. Without hesitation I threw on a mesh pair of Adidas running shorts and some running shoes with ankle-length socks. I figured after a quick pee I would be ready to go. "Not so fast," my crack said...then I farted...
While urinating, I felt the urge to poot. Nothing unusual, I thought, so I let rip. And rip I did! Still to this day I have no idea - whether it was dietary or psychological - what caused what happened next. Before I could even internally feel that my bowels had opened the gates of colon hell, I saw mushy colon sausage covering my shoes, ankles, calves and groin. The smell was definitely Third World. Make no mistake; this wasn't diarrhea. This was all-American, tax-paying, American-as-apple-pie shit... just poop dropped from a high altitude, thus accounting for its mushy state the further down my legs it reached. What baffled me the most was that the entire process took no longer than one second to complete. My trap door had just opened up, done its deed, and closed up like a shutter on an Ansel Adams camera loaded with 800 speed film...farts...
I had no other choice but to jump in the shower with all my crap-covered athletic clothes still on me. I can still vividly see creamy, brown ass batter circling the drain, like a 747 waiting for clearance to land on a busy day at JFK International. Itís needless to say that I didnít end up running that day, for I was already thoroughly defeated....wet farts...
After regaining my composure, I reluctantly began the cleanup process of the bathroom. The NGOs cleaning the Gulf shore and banks of Southern Alaska after their respective oil spills had an easier job, no doubt. As for the bath mat that surrounded the toilet? Yeah, a complete loss....farts smell good though...
To this day I have never taken the act of farting while peeing as lightly as I did that day eleven years ago....farts...
Farting
Sharts

Holt, MI

#9 Jul 30, 2018
Fartman doo wrote:
So it was with good reason that I felt I was king of the castle when it came to my bowel movements. My daily deposit worked with my schedule, not the other way around. That all changed one lazy Southern evening....wet farts are good...

I had just received a call from my workout buddy to meet him outside for a quick run around town. Without hesitation I threw on a mesh pair of Adidas running shorts and some running shoes with ankle-length socks. I figured after a quick pee I would be ready to go. "Not so fast," my crack said...then I farted...

While urinating, I felt the urge to poot. Nothing unusual, I thought, so I let rip. And rip I did! Still to this day I have no idea - whether it was dietary or psychological - what caused what happened next. Before I could even internally feel that my bowels had opened the gates of colon hell, I saw mushy colon sausage covering my shoes, ankles, calves and groin. The smell was definitely Third World. Make no mistake; this wasn't diarrhea. This was all-American, tax-paying, American-as-apple-pie shit... just poop dropped from a high altitude, thus accounting for its mushy state the further down my legs it reached. What baffled me the most was that the entire process took no longer than one second to complete. My trap door had just opened up, done its deed, and closed up like a shutter on an Ansel Adams camera loaded with 800 speed film...farts...

I had no other choice but to jump in the shower with all my crap-covered athletic clothes still on me. I can still vividly see creamy, brown ass batter circling the drain, like a 747 waiting for clearance to land on a busy day at JFK International. Itís needless to say that I didnít end up running that day, for I was already thoroughly defeated....wet farts...

After regaining my composure, I reluctantly began the cleanup process of the bathroom. The NGOs cleaning the Gulf shore and banks of Southern Alaska after their respective oil spills had an easier job, no doubt. As for the bath mat that surrounded the toilet? Yeah, a complete loss....farts smell good though...

To this day I have never taken the act of farting while peeing as lightly as I did that day eleven years ago....farts...
Gassyfarts
Sharts

Matawan, NJ

#12 Aug 28, 2018
Grunt release fart wrote:
<quoted text>

Forcing farts out.
Fartshart
Sharts

Long Beach, CA

#14 Sep 12, 2018
Shartfart
Sharts

Puyallup, WA

#15 Sunday Sep 23
Smellshart
Sharts

Vancouver, WA

#16 Tuesday Sep 25
Fartshart
Sharts

Miami, FL

#17 Saturday Oct 6
Shartd
Sharts

College Park, MD

#18 Monday Oct 8
Fartshartd
Sharts

Montrťal, Canada

#19 Tuesday Oct 9
Shartfart
Sharts

San Antonio, TX

#20 Thursday Oct 11
Fartshart
Gots taFart

Cumberland, RI

#21 Saturday Oct 13
Sharts wrote:
Fartshart
Give ups a fart
Fart Reliever

Germantown, MD

#23 2 hrs ago
Gots taFart wrote:
<quoted text>

Give ups a fart
Just release the farts

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