Just Wondering

Englewood, CO

#1 Nov 26, 2011
I have a 13 year old son and I go through his cell phone OFTEN and just recently I have started seeing girls asking if he wants to have phone sex ? Do any other parents have this problem because its a major concern to me that 13 year old children are talking this way. AND please no stupid comments. I hate to take the phone but I will before I put up with this. I have had THE TALK with him and I know the kids have all this technology these days but ITS A PROBLEM !
jammer

United States

#2 Nov 26, 2011
It's a sign of the times. Kids these days are exposed to these things very early.All you can do is talk to your child and let them know what they are doing is wrong. Ask him about it first and see if he is telling the truth. He really could just be ignoring those comments and the girls are just very persistent in asking. If I were you, I would talk to him and trust that he makes the right decisions.Getting mad and angry and taking his phone away is only going to make matters worse.

Truly, there is nothing you can do but pray he doesn't respond and give into those sort of things. After all,at the age of 13 puberty sets in fast and tempers flare if you accuse HIM of things. I've seen many cases where the girls are the ones causing these sorts of problems.But we are only human!

so to sum it up

1) Ask him and check to see if he responded.
2) Calmly talk to him about why it is wrong
3) Let him know you are concerned and support him.
4) Show him you are his friend too, not JUST his parent.

Good luck in your endeavors and hopefully he won't do it again!
any key

United States

#3 Nov 26, 2011
Yes, most girl these days are total dumpster sluts.
I've never seen the likes of it before its even worse here in smith county. Half their mothers got pregnant in the county hail any ways.
guest

Lugoff, SC

#4 Nov 26, 2011
Just Wondering wrote:
I have a 13 year old son and I go through his cell phone OFTEN and just recently I have started seeing girls asking if he wants to have phone sex ? Do any other parents have this problem because its a major concern to me that 13 year old children are talking this way. AND please no stupid comments. I hate to take the phone but I will before I put up with this. I have had THE TALK with him and I know the kids have all this technology these days but ITS A PROBLEM !
Dont sound like a 13 year old is mature enough for a phone. Does it? The phone IS your control. Its a not a must have item. Should be something they earn with trust. They break the trust. You take the phone until they are mature enough to handle it. Would you let them date at 13? Drive a car?You have to be in control to be a parent. On another note, being their friend is not going to work. They will take advantage of that and you will be taking orders. How many times have you seen kids back talking parents? Started out as a friendship, till the parent said no. Then the parent is always struggling to stay or become a better friend. To do that for a kid you have to bend more than you should. They are learning social skill at that age. So teach them someone is in control. They will not always hear the word yes in the real world. When you see an out of control kid. You see a parent with no control. The more you act like their friend and give in to them the more they demand and take advantage of you. Also the worse they will treat other adults, like teachers for instance. Rude and disrespectful in other words. Seen any kids like that lately. LOL Also how do you know its kids texting in and not a pervert? They can make any number appear they wish with the new phones. Get informed on that issue.
guest

Lugoff, SC

#5 Nov 26, 2011
Just Wondering wrote:
I have a 13 year old son and I go through his cell phone OFTEN and just recently I have started seeing girls asking if he wants to have phone sex ? Do any other parents have this problem because its a major concern to me that 13 year old children are talking this way. AND please no stupid comments. I hate to take the phone but I will before I put up with this. I have had THE TALK with him and I know the kids have all this technology these days but ITS A PROBLEM !
I bet he deleted all the nude pictures that come in. Kept the texts for bragging rites, with his friends. Yes I said graphic nude pictures. They get several daily. They pass them around. Everyone in school sees every picture. So if you are upset by texts. That should really blow your mind. This world has perverted our kids. This is what you get when parents are not in control. many could care less if the kids stay out all night. Even stay with friends for weeks at a time. Find a kid thats graduated you trust and ask your questions. You will be shocked. Maybe some will come in here and tell you how it really is.
Just Wondering

Englewood, CO

#6 Nov 26, 2011
guest wrote:
<quoted text>I bet he deleted all the nude pictures that come in. Kept the texts for bragging rites, with his friends. Yes I said graphic nude pictures. They get several daily. They pass them around. Everyone in school sees every picture. So if you are upset by texts. That should really blow your mind. This world has perverted our kids. This is what you get when parents are not in control. many could care less if the kids stay out all night. Even stay with friends for weeks at a time. Find a kid thats graduated you trust and ask your questions. You will be shocked. Maybe some will come in here and tell you how it really is.
Well I also have a 21 year old daughter and I never had this problem with her. If this is what the 13 year olds are doing these days then I dread when they start driving and is it true that there are 14 year old girls that are pregnant ? This blows my mind. I try to be a good parent and if we dont all stand together as parents and end this its going to get so much worse. How do parents justify not knowing what a 13 or 14 year old is doing ? I want my son to be able to tell me anything But as far as girls texting and saying Hey wanna have phone sex and then when he didnt respond the girl went so far as to say If you will have phone sex with me I will perform oral sex on you (but in other words) it seems like the girls are TEASING to me.
guest

Morristown, TN

#7 Nov 27, 2011
Just Wondering wrote:
<quoted text>Well I also have a 21 year old daughter and I never had this problem with her. If this is what the 13 year olds are doing these days then I dread when they start driving and is it true that there are 14 year old girls that are pregnant ? This blows my mind. I try to be a good parent and if we dont all stand together as parents and end this its going to get so much worse. How do parents justify not knowing what a 13 or 14 year old is doing ? I want my son to be able to tell me anything But as far as girls texting and saying Hey wanna have phone sex and then when he didnt respond the girl went so far as to say If you will have phone sex with me I will perform oral sex on you (but in other words) it seems like the girls are TEASING to me.
So wheres her parents in all this? Have you called and forwarded her texts? Nip it in the bud. Or get cussed out by a parent that could care less. Oh yeah, they are out there. Good luck
HeadOverHeels

United States

#8 Dec 21, 2011
This 13 year old son of yours, tisk tisk tisk! Did you know there is a delete button for his text messages? Maybe he deleted the messages and cleared out all his recent phone calls. I actually have a 15 year old daughter that has gotten a message from a 17 year old "friend", as she calls it. It was horrible that she has pictures of the boy, but I was very, very glad that SHE came to me when I told her it was very wrong and she needs to tell the 17 year old friend to stop now. She told me she did not want these messages, while crying--thinking she's the only one who is in this position. I had to be the good parent (recently divorced) and call this boy. He addressed me as his "give and take, sugar bunny". I told him who I was and he hung up, it took me 3 hang-ups for him to actually talk. From now on, I have not seen a single tear on my poor daughters face or a text message/picture.~Sorry for the super late post, from a mom who cares
hang on

United States

#9 Dec 21, 2011
You actually believe your daughter! Guess what your daughter does wrong too not just other peoples kid. He referred to her as his give and take sugar bunny and you find nothing strange about that. Sorry but those tears were fake she liked the pictures just didn't want to get in trouble. Parents kids are smart they will lie. You all know this you have been there and done it. No it wasn't sexting when we were there age but it was other stuff. We lied too!! Don't forget they are human and mess up too. We try to teach them right from wrong and pray it sticks. Some parents do everything right it just doesn't work with some. Also remember not to judge or talk about other kids yours is probably doing it too.
VERY concerned parent

United States

#10 Dec 21, 2011
see I started this entire post and I understand fully the situation and yes I texted the young lady back now if I said who it was (IT WOULD BLOW YALLS MINDS) but thats neither here nor there. It seems that nobody wants to admit their children are in the wrong but kids are kids. I was saying that we ALL as PARENTS need to be aware that this is happening. I never said my son was perfect and Its over and done. Its just facts are facts and I know what I saw on his phone. I really just wanted to raise awareness to this situation cause its happening I didnt want it to start being a my child is better than yours forum.
hang on

Greenwood, SC

#11 Dec 21, 2011
I was responding to head over heels not ur post. I see where u are coming from! It wouldn't blow my mind I don't put any of these kids on a pedestal thinking they will never mess up. Even preachers kids are going to do wrong hope they realize that too. If u can tell I am over ppl thinking their kids are perfect.
Jen

United States

#12 Dec 26, 2011
It's actually perfectly normal. Mos young teens do this. I would let him continue and not say anything to him. All boys have the need and unless you want him doing those things In real life let him continue.
yeps

United States

#13 Dec 29, 2011
Jen you most be a total moron. Sure hope u aren't a parent. You don't just let kids do things that are wrong because many others are doing it.
agree

United States

#14 Dec 29, 2011
yeps wrote:
Jen you most be a total moron. Sure hope u aren't a parent. You don't just let kids do things that are wrong because many others are doing it.
Thank You and No Doubt I cant even believe that JEN would even post such a ridiculous comment.
Jen

United States

#15 Jan 9, 2012
You are all terrible mothers if you say something like that. The thing is its perfectly normal. Masterbating is a big part of growing up. I bet many of you have masterbated dometime in your life. Male feel the need for this at a young age and at least your child is smart enough to do this on his own and not with another girl.
Wondering

Lebanon, TN

#16 Jan 12, 2012
Jen wrote:
You are all terrible mothers if you say something like that. The thing is its perfectly normal. Masterbating is a big part of growing up. I bet many of you have masterbated dometime in your life. Male feel the need for this at a young age and at least your child is smart enough to do this on his own and not with another girl.
Everybody masterbates. This is true. But 13 is a little young for experimenting with phone sex. I agree with the person about the bragging rights. But, girls Brag too. And girls ask for pictures while all their little buddies are sitting around them. What starts out as a game usually hurts someone. And before you know it there is an embarrassing picture or video that circulates around. I would talk to him. Tell him the consequences of his actions. tell him you trust him to make the right decision. Then drop it. If you tell him you trust him then you should follow through.

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