Me and my family own this store, and it's the best place in the world. There's no place I'd rather be! Cumbys is my life, and my soul. I think I'd commit suicide twice if I ever had to leave, and that's impossible! So please bring your money so we can overcharge you while attempting to humiliate you and your family, today!

We are also part of a sick bondage club involving pickles. Please bring pickles.