When your mother hates you

When your mother hates you

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A mistake

Burkesville, KY

#1 Apr 20, 2010
All my life i try to figure out why my mother doesnt love me like she loves rest of her kids.Even when i was small i was so afraid of her she was always so mean to me,when i say mean i mean mentaly and physicaly i often wish that when she was beating me that she would just kill me cause i just couldnt stand the way i was treated.Now have you ever heard of a 5-6 year old wanting to just die?Then when she left my father i knew then that it was only going to get worst but i was so afraid to tell my dad i wanted to stay with him fear of what she would do to me.But when i got up old enough to get out i did i ran away and caught a ride to where my father was and told him everything and he let me stay with him.But ive always wanted that mother daughter relationship but i still have never been able to get it from her.She hates me and i cant not figure out why how can a mother hate their child?She would do anything for her other kids and grand kids but i really believe she could care less if i live or die.Even after all the hurt and pain she has caused me i still love her because she is my mom.

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Natural Beauty

Versailles, KY

#2 Apr 20, 2010
A mistake wrote:
All my life i try to figure out why my mother doesnt love me like she loves rest of her kids.Even when i was small i was so afraid of her she was always so mean to me,when i say mean i mean mentaly and physicaly i often wish that when she was beating me that she would just kill me cause i just couldnt stand the way i was treated.Now have you ever heard of a 5-6 year old wanting to just die?Then when she left my father i knew then that it was only going to get worst but i was so afraid to tell my dad i wanted to stay with him fear of what she would do to me.But when i got up old enough to get out i did i ran away and caught a ride to where my father was and told him everything and he let me stay with him.But ive always wanted that mother daughter relationship but i still have never been able to get it from her.She hates me and i cant not figure out why how can a mother hate their child?She would do anything for her other kids and grand kids but i really believe she could care less if i live or die.Even after all the hurt and pain she has caused me i still love her because she is my mom.
Your narration breaks my heart. there really is no excuse for hating your own child. Have you ever asked her why she treats you differently; why she cannot stand you? I'm certain she'll deny the fact because she will be shamed or guilty because she knows in her heart of hearts that she is wrong to mistreat you. Maybe, she did not want a child when you came along, maybe your father is not the man you think he is but someone else. How old are you and how old is she? Have you asked your father what the reason could possibly be or your grandparents? An aunt? I am so very sorry that you've had to go thru this; of course it affects your self esteem and belief that you're okay. I suggest you get some counseling for this because as you grow older it may hurt even more. God bless you
A mistake

Burkesville, KY

#3 Apr 20, 2010
Natural Beauty wrote:
<quoted text>
Your narration breaks my heart. there really is no excuse for hating your own child. Have you ever asked her why she treats you differently; why she cannot stand you? I'm certain she'll deny the fact because she will be shamed or guilty because she knows in her heart of hearts that she is wrong to mistreat you. Maybe, she did not want a child when you came along, maybe your father is not the man you think he is but someone else. How old are you and how old is she? Have you asked your father what the reason could possibly be or your grandparents? An aunt? I am so very sorry that you've had to go thru this; of course it affects your self esteem and belief that you're okay. I suggest you get some counseling for this because as you grow older it may hurt even more. God bless you
Yes you are right it has cause me illness ,insecurity,depression,and cause me to do things to myself that i can never take back as for asking her about it i did once but she of course blamed me.My father is my real father and i loved him very much but he is no longer with us.I feel sorry for her in some way because i think maybe something bad happen to her when she was young i dont know this for sure.I am older now and i have my on life but i have this emptyness inside of me and i have problems trusting people i have children and i make a point to tell them i love them every day.It doesnt matter what i do to better my life she finds something negative about it.My other siblings can do no wrong in her eyes.No matter how much trouble they get into she is there for them.Sometimes i wonder if im really her child because i have never known a mother to be jealous of their daughter and to have so much hate for them unless its a step mother and im not saying (stepmothers) are all that way.I have had counsling for this but i have to go out of town for it because i wouldnt want anyone to know who she is.But thanks for the reply and God Bless You too.Just having a bad day and really needed to get it off my chest before i explode Thank you again.
broken and beautiful

London, KY

#4 Apr 20, 2010
I know what you are going through my mother treated me the same way only my mom pass away less than a year ago if i didnt know God I surely would have been dead i hope you have friends and relative to rely on for support it will get better but that pain never goes away will be praying for you. we grow up and have all these questions why only God knows why i sure dont. but I love you through God's unfailing Love.
Natural Beauty

Versailles, KY

#5 Apr 21, 2010
I've not had this experience but I've had others from both my parents that have left me feeling sad, angry, left-out, misunderstood and less than. It's terrible. You may never find out why but you can keep on parenting your children in the way you know they deserve and need. You never got that from you mom but you know how important it is. This is your gift, this wisdom revealed from your own pain that will affect your children's self-esteem in a positive way. All children have a right to unconditional love from the custodians of their little lives and bodies. My God richly bless you in your life's journey and stay in touch.
forgive and move on

Burkesville, KY

#6 Apr 22, 2010
You have to work through this and let it go. Realize that it was nothing you did as a child to be treated this way. It was your mother's problem, not yours. Forgive her, even though you don't know the reason. Love your kids and move on with your life. Don't dwell on the past because there is nothing you can do about it.
Advice

Burkesville, KY

#7 Apr 22, 2010
Please understand this....What your mother has done to you has nothing to do with you and everything to do woth an emotional problem within herself.
NOBODY has the right to treat you as such, not even a parent. I'm sorry for the void she has left in you but you need to seek out other female companionship to help heal and then move on.
She gave you life, for that, thank the lord but other than that, you must pray for her soul to heal and find peace.
NONEYA

Burkesville, KY

#8 Apr 23, 2010
shewwweee...i know exactally who you are...we are dear friends who havent had time for each other latley...call me today..lets try to get together...are you still gonna get princess a baby chicken??
Sushine

Dallas, TX

#9 Jan 1, 2011
I was on line looking for comfort myself tonight. I find it so hard to believe that a mother can hate their own child yet I to have lived with this my entire life. Like you I vowed to show my child love and I did and do. I started running away at a very early age. A mother is supposed to love her child and I have 5 other siblings who have never been beaten or verbally abused. The pain never goes away and while I still try so hard to get her to accept me she never changes. Every chance she gets she critisizes me and I am a grown, sucessful women. My Dad just passed away so I thought she needed my help so I planned a large party for her for birthday. Took time off work to travel and do that and time off for the holidays. I thought she changed. While I was their she critisized everything I did. Put down my Childs son and went through my belongings when I wasn't their. As well, talked negative about me to my Aunt and siblings. I had to leave. It hurts.. I don't understand this... I have been a good daughter even though she treats me bad. I have one brother on drugs and a complete mess. She protects him and finds excuses for him to be that way. For her to ever say Thank you or good job or anything nice to me would shock me. If she did I would think she was setting me up for someting. So while I don't know who you are I do know your pain and I know it never gets better. I know you will never know why? It will always be your fault. Trust in your own self and break away and get some counceling... I am.
as well

Baldwin City, KS

#10 Jan 1, 2011
I to have lived this same life that you speak about. If i didn't know better i would swear you were talking about me, telling my life story but i know better because i have never told anyone. You speak the truth when you say that it don't get any better because no matter what the pain never goes away. I wish that i could say something or do something to comfort you, but if you are like me it's impossible you just learn to live with it and keep it hid from your children.
Sushine

Dallas, TX

#11 Jan 2, 2011
You know I never reached out to anyone at all. It is somewhat comforting to know that I am not the only one. For years I thought there must be something wrong with me. I have lived a life tearing my own self down as bad as she did. Sad thing is people believe the lies she tells about me. After all how could a mother do horrible things to their own daughter. I never told anyone and when I finally did speak it turned my siblings against me even further. How can they claim to have not seen or even believe that I woould deserve bloody lips and noses for talking back, what ever that means... Or as of lately her telling folks I am a drug addict when I am a successful business women. I have a brother who comes to the house messed up on drugs and pulls gins on us. Loaded ones. Ever since I told her I wouldn't allow my children in the house if this continued she started telling folks I was the one on drugs. I don't know if people believe her, I only know I can't go around her anymore. I don't know why she does these things to me. Her own grandaughter could have died that night at the hands of her son and somehow she has made that my fault.
I am going back to counseling again to learn how to heal and to break away from her again forever... And to not feel guilty about it...
me also

Burkesville, KY

#12 Jan 2, 2011
Advice to you all, walk away. Just because it is your mother, there is no reason for you to be their doormat. Walk away from them and know that you will be OK. I have. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I haven't spoken to my mother in 10 years and it was the best decision of my life. I am almost feeling like a normal human being again. Take my advice and get away before it's too late!
Sushine

Dallas, TX

#13 Jan 2, 2011
How did you break away? Didn't your family members call and put you down further.u dad just passed on so she uses that as her card now. My son is grown and she has started signs of talking about him even to me and badly. How do I save him? So lost...
me also

Burkesville, KY

#14 Jan 2, 2011
You have to make your own decision and do what's right for you. If you're family doesn't stand by you, you don't have to listen to them either. No one knows what you are going through but you. In my experience, no one really wanted to believe that my mother was that bad, therefore they chose not to believe me. I held my head high, stood my ground and did not let them sway my decision. Like I said, it was very hard. Good luck.
Sushine

Dallas, TX

#15 Jan 3, 2011
Thank you...
I don't know how much time it will take me to learn to trust but I know just realizing that I am not alone has helped me so much...
God Bless all of you who have suffered pain at the hands of your own Mother.
I will begin 2011 trying to renew who I am and how I think about myself versus how she taught me to think of myself.
Pray for me..
one who has been there

Greensburg, KY

#16 Jan 3, 2011
I don't want this to sound harsh, because I too was a child of abuse, but lets face it, that was years ago and what we have become since we left our childhood homes is what is important. I gave up trying to please the woman that I called mother. Her hate was unfounded and the problem was with her. She would contine to abuse me if I stuck around to take it. I won't. I think more of myself. Instead of wasting ones time trying to figure out why, look at it as a gift. The old saying, "What doesn't kill you makes you grow stronger" is true. Learn from the experience and become a better person. I hope that it has made me a more loving compasionate human being. If our mothers (and I use this term loosely) don't care about us it is their loss.
me also

Burkesville, KY

#17 Jan 3, 2011
Agreed......it is definitely their loss. You have to grow up and realize only you can make you happy. Wating for other people to make you happy is wrong. Cut your losses and go find people who are an asset to your life and not a liability. We only have one life....make the best of it!
one who has been there

Greensburg, KY

#18 Jan 4, 2011
Are you aware that it is said if GOD is paying special attention to you, by providing you with many challenges in life, he is giving you the opportunity to grow in spirit? What you have seen as disadvantges, now try to see them only as challenges to rise above. Do not dwell on the negative aspect, but try to see it as an experience that has allowed you to grow.
Let the family play out their drama however they wish, but don't let them draw you in. Even if it means changing your address and phone number. You "honor" your mother by keeping your distance because after they tire of talking about you the drama they crave is gone. They are not going to change. You are only responsible for your own actions. You can only change yourself and you need to release the hurt before it affects your health. The past is over. Live in the moment.
Butterfly

Lexington Park, MD

#19 Apr 6, 2011
Gosh!! I am not sure why I found this site.. but Im very happy to have. I feel like a child when I read these, when in fact I am 50 years old. The pain has been with me for that long, when I turned 50 I did a what I call a 150 degree turn... guess what!! Im a happier person that I have let go trying to please my god for saken MOTHER!!! as you all have said you just could not understand what you did.. it is nothing you have done!! stand strong and make yourslef happy... Today is her Birthday and Im not going to call like I do every year.. I did send her a birthday card.. guess what I sent it late.. shame on me .. who cares.. could not please her by being perfect so guess what.. I do to suit myself now and do not care if I hurt her feelings.. if she has any at all.. Im angry Im sure you can tell, but this is all part of a healing process that is going to take me some time. She thinks the world of people whom she thinks is going to get her someplace in her world call society.. good luck with that!! Im a much better person than any of those people will ever be to her.. Sorry for her loss... I use to vow that I would take care of her when she got old and could no longer do so.. Guess what? Yeap! Im not.. she can be taken care of by my two selfish siblings she thinks are so great!!! She always said she never wanted to go into a nursing home.. guess what MOTHER!!! that is where you will be... so sorry for your loss!!!!!!!!!!
Butterfly

Leonardtown, MD

#20 Apr 6, 2011
Wow!! that felt good!!

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