Domestic troubles end in man's death

Domestic problems that plagued a Grant County couple for nearly two years culminated Saturday night in what could have been a hostage standoff but instead ended in a suicide. Full Story
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dismissed

Albuquerque, NM

#1 Jun 24, 2010
Dismissed...dismissed....dismi ssed......

When will the courts, Grant County Sheriff's Office and other police agencies learn that this is a HALLMARK domestic violence case and EXACTLY why shit shouldn't be DISMISSED ?!?

Check out his history-Why should ANYTHING be dismissed?

Does it really say the cops ran OUT OF THE HOUSE? What if he hadn't shot himself and was holding her hostage? They couldn't find cover INSIDE? please.
ClownShoes

Silver City, NM

#2 Jun 24, 2010
...Heroic...
Jayme Gutierrez

United States

#3 Jun 24, 2010
I am the wife of Joe Max, the mother of his children. I have not appreciated all the rumors that have been going around. You all must understand that regardless of the problems that we had, he was my husband and we did have 11 yrs together and many good memories. He was a good father, and had been a good husband. Our marriage was not a perfect one, but then I am not aware of anyone that does have one. I was shocked that our story was published on the front page, you have to realize that I have children, one of which is capable of reading. Do any of you know how hard this has been on me and my children? For them to know that their father will not be coming home? That I don't have a husband that will be coming home? Our family has been through enough and I would greatly appreciate everyone leaving us alone. Until you walk in my shoes then you can judge, but none of you, including the courts knows the life I shared with my husband. May my husband rest in peace, and may the Lord give me the strength to continue my life and be there for my children as they grow.
Randilynn

United States

#4 Jun 24, 2010
I'm so tired of the people that have nothing better to do than to sit at home reading the bad press and making their own assumptions about what did or didn't happen. I have known jayme and her husband for many many years and find that it is extremely inappropriate for people to think they know what they know. I am so surprised that these id-10t's can be so "all knowing".
Concerned

Silver City, NM

#5 Jun 24, 2010
Jayme - may you find peace in your heart and your soul. You are a kind person who deserves only the best.
My only prayer is that you and your children can overcome and recover. My thoughts, wishes, and prayers are for you and your family.
And may Max rest in peace with love and heart.

I do question why Bayard cops "ran for cover". Isn't that what the victim does, not the cops? How embarrasing for the town of Bayard to know that the cops run from trouble when it is their job to stop it. Wimps is all I have to say to Bayard cops. Grow some _____'s.
WhatNotAgain

Silver City, NM

#7 Jun 25, 2010
Jayme Gutierrez wrote:
I am the wife of Joe Max, the mother of his children. I have not appreciated all the rumors that have been going around. You all must understand that regardless of the problems that we had, he was my husband and we did have 11 yrs together and many good memories. He was a good father, and had been a good husband. Our marriage was not a perfect one, but then I am not aware of anyone that does have one. I was shocked that our story was published on the front page, you have to realize that I have children, one of which is capable of reading. Do any of you know how hard this has been on me and my children? For them to know that their father will not be coming home? That I don't have a husband that will be coming home? Our family has been through enough and I would greatly appreciate everyone leaving us alone. Until you walk in my shoes then you can judge, but none of you, including the courts knows the life I shared with my husband. May my husband rest in peace, and may the Lord give me the strength to continue my life and be there for my children as they grow.
Granted, no one knew your husbands true relationship with you or his role with your family better than you and your family. But to sweep this under the rug and expect people to just let it go away is absurd! Those officers put their lives on the line every day and are a walking target each time they step into the public in uniform. They were there to help you because you ran out of the house screaming, got dragged back in by the hair of the head and were still screaming when officers arrived. You didn't know your own husband at that point. He was over the edge at that point and capable of anything. He could have easily killed you, your kids, the officers and himself at that time. To say you knew him best would imply you knew he would commit suicide that night. To keep sweeping domestic violence under the rug is not facing the issue of the crime involved, the people killed and maimed everyday and all those left behind because someone tried to sweep it under the rug. If you cared at all you wouldn't only be thinking of you and your family but about the countless others out there going through the same thing as we speak. I'm sorry your husband took his life and your children may read these posts but we are entitled to our opinions and we share the same communities and this could have happened in a public place with innocent people around and not in your home. Everyday people are killed in the work place at public shopping centers, banks, you name it. To try and shut us up is not the answer. I will pray for you and your family. I am human as are all these other posting. We have a right to post and voice our concerns. I'm sorry for your loss and pray Gods speed in healing you and your family. But please don't patronize us by telling us to leave you alone when all we are doing is posting on and open forumn. People need to talk about this, people need to cope with it. We are all victims in general as society as a whole. Whether friends of your late husband and family, mere acquaintances, neighbors, friends of friends or just sharing the same county. We don't like to hear of these things happening on tv news; much less in our own environment. We're not paranoid but it helps to be made aware and try to learn to recognize the signs in behavior. Times are hard right now and changing everyday for the worse. As we try to better ourselves we will run into stories like these; hopefully, there won't be a next time, but only God knows the answer to that. In His Peace.
WhatNotAgain

Silver City, NM

#8 Jun 25, 2010
Concerned wrote:
Jayme - may you find peace in your heart and your soul. You are a kind person who deserves only the best.
My only prayer is that you and your children can overcome and recover. My thoughts, wishes, and prayers are for you and your family.
And may Max rest in peace with love and heart.
I do question why Bayard cops "ran for cover". Isn't that what the victim does, not the cops? How embarrasing for the town of Bayard to know that the cops run from trouble when it is their job to stop it. Wimps is all I have to say to Bayard cops. Grow some _____'s.
Police run for cover all the time. What good are they to you if they're gunned down? Then who's going to help you? People are so ignorant! In the line of duty when you hear a gunshot everybody becomes a potential victim until the source is found. Don't be ridiculous!
VKJ

Albuquerque, NM

#10 Jun 25, 2010
I can't understand how in all this tragedy there are so many people who are quick to judge the situation. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors in anyone else's home, until you live in the shoes of this family then you can judge the situation. How come it is not a concern on how his wife and children are doing, everyone is so quick to get in there personal business. This family has been through enough and does not need you people that don't have anything else better to do but talk shit. Judge yourself before you judge someone else. I would say you should pray for the family but first pray for yourself for the judgment you have put upon them. If you have nothing good to say keep your comments to yourself. Lastly, thanks to Sun-News for making this families tragedy a cover story to add on to their nightmare his wife and children did not need it to be public.
Lori

United States

#11 Jun 25, 2010
My Prayers go out to Jayme and her children. I have known Jayme many years, and have been fortunate to be able to talk with her. Rumors???? There will always be, the truth?? No. This young woman has had a rough year, but life had not always been like this for her and Joe Max, actually they had a pretty good marriage up until this last year or so. We as married couples know there are difficult times in every marriage, but they were trying to work together to keep their family together. Like I told her last night, sweetie people will talk for years to come, assuming they know. It doesn't matter what people think or say, only you know your life. These people that talk don't pay your bills, aren't there for holidays and special occasions, will not be involved in the raising of your children...so they do not matter. The Lord above knows and He will be there for you and your children. It amazes me that people can be so cruel during such a difficult time for this family. This couple both had jobs, 3 children...rumors and people added fuel to the problems they were going through. Now it has ended and ended very badly not for any of us...but for her and her children. Our lives continue and for this moment her whole world has stopped...but I know she will pick herself up and hold her head high and take care of her children with no help from all those who so find it so easy to think they know what happened. Have any of you had to tell your children what she has had to?? Please lets leave her alone..instead of judging and assuming, lets all reach out our hands and help her, pray for her and her children...for his family, his mother, and siblings. This family is going through a very hard time, as a community we should all be offering our support. The D.A. talked with her and was sorry more had not been done to help...Jayme does appreciate the police responding and thankful that none of them were injured. She is beyond thankful that she herself was not injured during this tragedy. We love you Jayme and the Lord will bless you and your children. My heart goes out to you, your children and his family. But sweetie the sun will rise again..and there is light at the end of this tunnel. Joe Max may you rest in peace! Forgiveness....will give you peace Mija. So...when you see this young woman and her children remember she is human, young, a widow, a mother, sister, friend, goodhearted, a survivor and does not deserve to be put through anymore heartache. Lets all pray for her and her children. Can anyone be blamed? No...this was something that started as an argument over something so little and escalated to the worst nightmare anyone can ever imagine. SHOES
Havasupai

Casa Grande, AZ

#12 Jun 25, 2010
WhatNotAgain wrote:
<quoted text>
If what you say is true, then that woman needs to shut her mouth because she is not a victim in the least. Her kids and deceased husband are.
How very hateful of you to write these things. You must be a Bayard coward.
jayme gutierrez

Albuquerque, NM

#14 Jun 25, 2010
YES wrote:
I heard that the bayard cop sam rodriguez was dating the woman and thats why she and her husband were fightng. Is this what caused the fight. Shame on you Sam.
first of all i dont have to explain my life to any of you and second of all NO NO NO NO NO i was not seeing mr. rodriguez. and no this was not the reason of the fight that night.you people have so much balls over the internet to say all of these things. and i thank the bayard police department for everything that night with out them my 3 kids would be laying both parents to rest. joe max i love you baby always and forever....
jayme gutierrez

Albuquerque, NM

#15 Jun 25, 2010
Havasupai wrote:
<quoted text>
How very hateful of you to write these things. You must be a Bayard coward.
yes who ever wrote this is a coward.... i dare you to tell me these things to my face....
Blue

Albuquerque, NM

#16 Jun 25, 2010
jayme gutierrez wrote:
<quoted text>first of all i dont have to explain my life to any of you and second of all NO NO NO NO NO i was not seeing mr. rodriguez. and no this was not the reason of the fight that night.you people have so much balls over the internet to say all of these things. and i thank the bayard police department for everything that night with out them my 3 kids would be laying both parents to rest. joe max i love you baby always and forever....
Better to quit posting.....if you don't feed, they won't eat it.
Blue

Los Alamos, NM

#17 Jun 25, 2010
Jayme: Push away from the PC and don't respond to the neurotics and their posts. If you become emotional here they will feed on it. Focus on yourself and your children, that's all that matters now. I say this with all good intentions; Someone, who witnessed what you did, would most certainly benefit from talking to a professional. PTSD is a real and long lasting issue. Deal with it as soon as possible.
I wish nothing but the best for you and yours and will continue praying for you and the kiddos.
Hang in there!

“Not vengeance, punishment.”

Since: Oct 09

Location hidden

#18 Jun 25, 2010
Can we examine this situation from a rational perspective and leave all the emotions out of it. All the posters on this forum have is the newspaper article that was printed. Most of us don't have personal knowledge of the family involved. Soooo....here is what the newspaper said:

"Domestic problems that plagued a Grant County couple for nearly two years culminated Saturday night in what could have been a hostage standoff but instead ended in a suicide."

In order for the newspaper to know that "Domestic problems that plagued a Grant County couple for nearly two years" they would have had to have access to the police records of that location and those involved. I don't think they would just make that information up out of the blue. So there WAS a history of domestic problems at that location. How violent and of what type we don't know.

"Max Joe Gutierrez, 32, of Bayard, shot himself after Bayard Police arrived at his residence on the 700 block of Lusk Street responding to a call in reference to a physical domestic disturbance, according to the Grant County Sheriff's Office."

Note..."in reference to a PHYSICAL DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE". That means it was more than just a husband screaming at his wife. It doesn't say WHO made the call, could have been a neighbor or one of the members of the household. I think it's safe to assume the husband didn't make the call.

"Shortly after 9 p.m. Saturday, Central Dispatch advised Bayard Police that a woman had run from the home screaming and a man chased her down, grabbed her by the hair and dragged her back into the house."

Now we have the details of WHY the call was made.
Pretty horrific stuff I would say. When a man drags a woman by the hair back into the house, I think we can safley say he has lost all control of his thought processes, unless someone wants to accept that kind of behavior as "normal" in their husband-wife relations. I can't even IMAGINE doing that to my wife, unless it is the ONLY way to drag her TO SAFETY. Perhaps from a burning building or an imminent explosion.

"Bayard Police approached the residence, announced their presence and tried to get someone to come to the door."

Sounds like good police procedure to me. I hope they had already taken defensive postures at that time.

"From inside the home, officers reported that they could hear a woman screaming "Let me go, let me go," so they entered the home. It was then they heard a gunshot and "officers ran out of the home in order to take cover while calling for assistance," a Sheriff's Office release stated."

This was PERFECT police work by the officers. Police are NOT there to make targets of themselves. They are NOT Superman. Even wearing vests, they can be killed. Calling for assistance was an EXCELLENT idea. I don't know if there are hostage negotiatiors or SWAT teams nearby, but that would have been the appropriate folks to call.

"The woman ran from the home and told officers that the man had just shot himself."

Even with her statement, the officers should have approaced the home cautiously and been VERY careful about entering it.

And finally:

Court documents show that Jayme Gutierrez filed an order of protection against Max Gutierrez on Feb. 5, 2010. Charges of violating the protection order and battery on a household member were filed in Silver City District Court on March 4, 2010. Jayme Gutierrez filed an application to terminate the order of protection on March 17, saying she no longer needed it. That application was denied by the court.

The charges against Max Gutierrez were dismissed by the prosecutor on May 27. The couple appeared in District Court on June 4 and the protection order was dismissed. Max Gutierrez had a charge of battery against a household member dismissed by the prosecutor in Nov. 2009.

It looks like the court initially DID try and protect Ms.Gutierrez in spite of herself. It also looks like Ms.Gutierrez made a bad judgement call getting the order lifted.

Catarina

Nevada, OH

#20 Jun 25, 2010
Nobody knows what went on between Joe and Jayme besides Joe and Jayme, so for anyone to try to say they did is just disrespectful. All I can say is that they loved each other and loved their kids more than anything. Jayme, we love you and I'm here if you or the kids need anything. Joe, rest in peace, we miss you.

“Not vengeance, punishment.”

Since: Oct 09

Location hidden

#19 Jun 25, 2010
Now my own opinion...and we all know what opinions are like ;-)

It's unfortunate that violent activity like that done by the husband in this case is so common and considered as "acceptable" in the hispanic community. All to often we see identical reports of husbands/fathers/boyfriends/ma le companions/love partners involved in abusing females. I don't understand WHY females STAY with these abusive males and endanger themselves and often their children. For that matter, I don't know why females get "hooked up" with loser males of this type in the first place. Any man that abuses a woman is scum of the Earth IMHO. There is NO justification for staying with someone like that. I don't care if he is making a million dollars a year or is providing the best sex North of the border. There is NO reason to stay with him. I hesitate to say it, but the wife is probably better off that the husband is dead. For sure the children are better off. Now I hope and pray that God sends a little common sense the wife's way and she does NOT get involved with another abusive dirtbag of this type.
Blue

Albuquerque, NM

#21 Jun 25, 2010
Blue wrote:
Jayme: Push away from the PC and don't respond to the neurotics and their posts. If you become emotional here they will feed on it. Focus on yourself and your children, that's all that matters now. I say this with all good intentions; Someone, who witnessed what you did, would most certainly benefit from talking to a professional. PTSD is a real and long lasting issue. Deal with it as soon as possible.
I wish nothing but the best for you and yours and will continue praying for you and the kiddos.
Hang in there!
Your'e posting with my name again, Blue from Los Alamos. Please stop.
New Mexico Native

Auburn, IN

#22 Jun 25, 2010
Deputy276 wrote:
Now my own opinion...and we all know what opinions are like ;-)
It's unfortunate that violent activity like that done by the husband in this case is so common and considered as "acceptable" in the hispanic community. All to often we see identical reports of husbands/fathers/boyfriends/ma le companions/love partners involved in abusing females. I don't understand WHY females STAY with these abusive males and endanger themselves and often their children. For that matter, I don't know why females get "hooked up" with loser males of this type in the first place. Any man that abuses a woman is scum of the Earth IMHO. There is NO justification for staying with someone like that. I don't care if he is making a million dollars a year or is providing the best sex North of the border. There is NO reason to stay with him. I hesitate to say it, but the wife is probably better off that the husband is dead. For sure the children are better off. Now I hope and pray that God sends a little common sense the wife's way and she does NOT get involved with another abusive dirtbag of this type.
I'm glad that you recognize the fact that your opinion stinks. Secondly, for you to generalize the entire "hispanic community" is completely unacceptable. You have mischaracterized an entire demographic of people without a shred of evidence or rationality. Domestic violence comprises every socioeconomic class. Rather than praying for a young mother and her children, you should pray for yourself that God forgives your lack of compassion and teaches you to stop being such a judgmental person.
New Mexico Native

Auburn, IN

#23 Jun 25, 2010
Jayme,

While I have never met you or your family, I will pray for you in the coming days. May God ease your burdens and pain as the days move forward.

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