Reading your child's text messages, e...
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“Get off my lawn”

Since: Jul 10

Bremen, GA

#142 Jun 22, 2012
One reason I think a parent has a responsibility to do what a kid would call "snooping" is that a lot of times kids think their parents have no idea what it's like to be their age.

This is usually completely wrong.

If you can find out what issues, concerns, worries, or problems your child is having, you can sensitively work a way to discuss it with them, in a way that doesn't make them feel their privacy had been violated.

For instance, say you discover through "snooping" that your child is being pressured for sex, and he or she doesn't want to do it, but doesn't want to be seen as uncool or whatever. You can work into conversation that when *you* were a kid, there was a lot of pressure to be sexually active, but you decided blah blah blah. Don't ever say "I saw on your Facebook that..." or the walls go up.

Being a parent is like walking in a minefield -- being alert and sensitive to your child and the problems that loom large in their worlds is like having a map. Relate it back to yourself, and then discuss what you did when you dealt with the problem.
Im a mom too

United States

#143 Jun 30, 2012
xXdedeXx wrote:
YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL!!!??????? AT THERE AGE THEY NEED PRIVACY ALL THEY WILL DO IF YOU READ THAT STUFF IS MAKE THEM MAD AND YOU THINK THAT THEM BEING MAD IS NOT BAD WELL THE BEING MAD MAKE THEM REBEL AND GOTH OR EMO DOWN THE RODE THEN WHAT NOW YOU REGRET READING THEM AND JUST WANT YOUR REGULAR KID BACK YOU ARE ALL BUTT-CLINCHED SNOBBY DUMB UPTIGHT IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!
You Need Help!!!!!!!!!!
A Mom Also

Bremen, GA

#144 Jun 30, 2012
I raised my children on my own,they are adults now,I never had any reason to have to spy on my kids,I raised them to know what is right,and what is wrong.If a parent has the need to stick their nose in their business,it must mean they didn't do a good job of raising them to start with!
And before you attack me on here,hear me out.My children are in the church,they don't drink,smoke,nor use drugs.I go to bed every night and when I say my prayers,I say Thank God for the kids you gave me,and that I have never lost a second of sleep worrying about where they were,or who they are with.Yes I worry about my children,but it's not because they are out in the streets doing wrong,or in any danger. I am far from being perfect,I raised my kids the way my momma raised me!
What goes around comes around,I guess you could say!
random kid

Modesto, CA

#145 Jul 18, 2012
I agree with the 17 year old kids need their privacy.Just think about how u will feel if u were young and knowing tht ur parents were looking at everything u do.You people dont understand us.Look i am an honor student and i have a secret girlfriend and im 12 but you shouldnt let them have these rights if they are not responsible.Plus looking on the internet is just creepy and i know ur trying 2 protect us but give us some freedom.
random kid

Modesto, CA

#146 Jul 18, 2012
I mean i agree with xXdedeXx
seriously

Villa Rica, GA

#147 Jul 18, 2012
If you don't want it seen on the internet, don't put it out there. Having your parents see it should be the least of your worries.
sixteen going on 17

Atlanta, GA

#148 Jul 21, 2012
this is so stupid... honestly. im almost 17.. i pay my own phone bill, car insurance, and have my own job. not because my parents cant afford it but it teaches kids responsibility. my dad goes through my phone, and my twitter, and used to my face book. and yea it got frustrating but he did it to make sure i wasnt doing anything wrong or being harrassed. and to "teenager" we do not have the right to privacy or deserve it. privacy and respect are both earned. your not gonna just throw a fifteen year old the keys to a car. they have to earn and deserve it. i have alot of freedom when it comes to friends but its because ive earned it and proved to my dad i can handle it. So parents no matter how much your kid bs&gs about it... for their bennefit watch their activity online and monitor their phones. its the best way to pretect them.
RedOctane

Johnson City, TN

#149 Apr 10, 2013
Miss Blue Devil 2000 wrote:
<quoted text>
"Shut up" ? Real smart come back. I think I said that.
I do trust my kids and do you know why? Cause they have proven themselves trustworthy. And do you know how I know that? CAUSE I KEPT UP WITH THEM THROUGH EVERY MEANS POSSIBLE!!!!!
I am a logical and mature 16 year old, I have a phone, iPad, Facebook, and Laptop. You are not considering that when you are growing up you are emotionally distraught. When you find a bad message on your child's phone, it's because they are growing up. Scince you have been keeping them in the nest they cannot express their feeling with the people who they feel comfortable talking to them about. For example their friends, they do not like to express their emotions with you because they feel uncomfortable, and since you are so close to their personal life they fear they will get in trouble, once you do that they will never forget. Children like to discuss things that you might think are inappropriate or immature because you have already grown up. Then to the topic of sexting, pubescent teens have a rush of hormones at this time so the feel love, and they want to express that love. And just because you physically punished your child makes your child even more rebellious so you are not making it any better, that's part of growing up, and due to rapid maturity levels (because kids back then did not go through puberty until they were 17 or 18) they want to move away from you and become their own person, and break free from your control. We are not lazy either, were are bodies are developing so early, the rush of hormones cause tons of energy use, so if your child is laying in bed all day or is inside all day, it's because they are growing up. Research used in this comment is from official Cambridge University Studies.

“Get off my lawn”

Since: Jul 10

Bremen, GA

#150 Apr 11, 2013
Pardon me? "Kids back then didn't go through puberty until they were 17 or 18"? Humans have gone through puberty at 12 to 14 years of age for at least a century or more, thanks to good nutrition. Before that, puberty was generally delayed until 14 or 16. It was never as late as "17 or 18".

Think for a minute. Why would medieval marriages have taken place with a bride as young as 12 or 13, as they did? No point in getting married if the woman couldn't bear children. Young girls were married as soon as they began menstruating, because that was a sign that they could bear children.

God, you know-it-all kids. Sometimes I don't understand how y'all make it into your 20's without some REAL adult pinching your heads off.

“Get off my lawn”

Since: Jul 10

Bremen, GA

#151 Apr 11, 2013
Oh, and to stay on topic, this is all just rationalizing inappropriate behavior. If you were my kid, you'd lose that cell phone so fast your arrogant little head would spin.
Pamela

United States

#152 Apr 11, 2013
I just stumbled upon this thread and I have to say - as a parent who's teenage daughter was almost violently raped because a perverted sociopath got her phone number and started talking to her - if I had not excersised my right as a parent to keep her safe, she would not be enjoying the full life that she has now. Maybe its not a matter of 'I pay the bill', its a matter of 'I value her LIFE and I care about what other people are teaching her - even using her own phone!

PARENTS: MAN UP AND CHECK THOSE PHONES!!!

It saved my daughter's life! Bilbo from Australia (previous poster), if you ever visit this post again and read my reply, I sincerely hope that your child is perfect so he or she never needs anyone to look after them or teach and instruct them in the correct, SAFE ways to use the technology that we give them. Otherwise, your child may end up dead.
Shinnae

Highgate Hill, Australia

#153 May 15, 2013
I believe that the best way to raise any child is through love, support and trust. You need to be able to trust them for them to trust you and by going into their privacy it is breaking that trust. Instead you should raise them to believe that they should always keep a good connection between you and them and that they should discuss these things with you such as sexting. That way you could set them on the right track into a better future filled with trust.

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