Why are openly gay men such emotional cripples?

Posted in the Brewer Forum

dannyo

Keene, NH

#1 Mar 24, 2012
Im gay but slightly in the closet. I tend to gravitate towards the down to earth bisexual or gay men that are in the closet. And I found out that most of them hide in the closet not because they are embarrassed to be gay but rather to hide from the multitude of openly gay men that are effeminate control freaks. So many other gay men that I've met are such "Emotional Cripples". They also talk it extremely femmy high pitched voices and act like total beyotches. They're always overly needy, overly attached to you, overly clingy, and overly pushy. They tend to look for and make trouble where ever they go, and try to get attention worse than a girl would by being obnoxiously loud in public. Lets say a gay man sees another man he likes in a store he'll start talking higher and higher and higher in a shrilly pitched voice and so loud everyone can here him. As if that is going to turn that construction worker on. If anything even if the construction worker as bi, curious, or gay himself most real men don't want that queeny attitude in shrieking in their ear. When ever I get a teller or someone who seems "stereotypically gay" he's always got to start some sort of trouble or insinuate there is some sort of problem where there shouldn't for most normal people. He's usually a "Professional Victim" type always trying to gain attention by being such a victim in situations in which no one did anything to him. I find that there are a TON of masculine men that call themselves straight and play with each other, go out for beer, hang out, chill, listen to music, talk, drive, do sports, etc with no problem, they don't get overly clingy but secretly express their love. But in public do NOT come out of the closet because the openly gay (stereotypically gay) men come flying at them like zombies from a horror movie. ha ha Except their are Emotionally crippled zombies with sexual identity issues who think they are pushy-women and not real men. When I was younger in my late teens early 20s I sort of acted like that femmy type only to drive away the men I really liked. And only attracted the emotionally crippled types. Once I started to "man up" I enjoyed life much much more. I started to attracted real men that could trust me not to be a clingy faggot type. I know a lot of gay men that will tell you that they want a relationship or perhaps a NSA sort of thing only to do the opposite. The Emotional Cripple will LIE LIE LIE to try and get into bed with you and then act like a total victim when their trickery didn't work. They bitch, cry, and whine about how the "Closeted man" is such a jerk or a-hole when in reality the shallow and hollow ploys by the emotional-crippled gay man goes ignored by his own ego. He doesn't realize that he let himself get used by trying to be such a FAKE himself. I'm actually proud of and glad for the real butch masculine men that are hiding in the closet. It's just that most the openly gay men are obnoxious, annoying, temperamental, and controlling, they are needy, arrogant, and uptight. Always looking and causing trouble with their extremely feminine personalities and constant lying. No wonder I find myself partially in the closet now a days and I do not advertise my being gay. In fact the more straight a straight man sees me acting the more he's more likely to have sex with me or simply a close friendship. Now this is going to sound awful but most gay men come off as Mentally Retarded. I figured this out one day when I saw a few people walking in front of me. This one guy was walking stereotypically gay, smiling goofy, and was limp wristed, he was also talking in a girly tone, and was dressed to get attention. I said to a friend of mine "gee that guy is obviously gay" and he replied. "Um, I don't know if he's gay or not but that guy actually has MR (mental retardation)". Now no offense to people with MR I think they are great. But it dawned on me that a lot of openly stereotypically gay men act like they suffer from MR.
Straight guy

Brisbane, Australia

#2 Jun 9, 2012
Good post. I have nothing against gays but when I see the really stereotypical looking ones in public I can't help but think that they are pretending or acting more gay than they should. It just gives gay duded a bad name. And it's freaking annoying
Abaddamn

Australia

#3 Jun 14, 2013
Hahagaha nice observation. Know whst you mean. I'm gay too but only partially come outta the closet for the very reasons you said. And i enjoy antagonising the shrilly gays, goes to show how much attention is worth getting haha! It's often the younger ones who do that before they hopefully knock it out of themselves. If not then i tell em they've been taking the gay drug.
Billy

Bangor, ME

#4 Jun 14, 2013
I'm bisexual but have some gay friends that are openly gay and don't act like emotional cripples. I think it's just the ones that act like the stereotype because they are more obvious. But there are a lot of opening gay and bisexual men that act masculine and down to Earth. But I agree the ones that act like the stereotype can be rude needy and annoying. But I don' think the problem is with the "openly gay" ones. A lot of people assume that gay men are in the closet if they act masculine. So they call it "acting straight" which misleads most people into believing that gay men act like the queen stereotype. I know for a fact that there are a lot of gay and bisexual men out there that act masculine but are actually openly gay. It's just not obvious because most people are uneducated about who and what gay men are. I'm often mistaken for straight and feel insulted when anybody says "I couldn't tell because you act straight." And they believe they are complementing me in some way and/or insinuating that my "acting" is a sign that I'm in the closet. When in all reality I'm just being myself. If someone asks me if I'm gay I will tell them. Less of course I happened to be around some a-holes that are looking for a fight and then I don't tell them anything. But I still consider myself opening gay.
Billy

Bangor, ME

#5 Jun 14, 2013
PS kept meaning to say openly not opening. Not sure how I didnt catch that.
Sean Brown

Mesquite, TX

#6 Dec 8, 2013
While reading your post, I can't help but hear the undertones of homophobia in your rhetoric. It's as if you somehow thing your better because of your gender expression. Yes, I'm well aware of the gays of which you speak; I used to be friends with one of them. But what you failed to mention is just as you are grappling with your sexuality in the face of adversity, so are they. So, I say, you are so out of line for those sexist, homophobic comments you posted.
tony

Gilbertsville, NY

#7 Dec 17, 2013
Sean Brown, shut up. I have a feeling your one of the guys the original poster is complaining about.

To the original poster. I've noticed alot of the same trends. It's very easy to be disheartened by the habits of gay men if you tend to be more sensitive and in search of a true human connection with another man. It's bleak to say the least.

When considering the big picture, you have to take into consideration the emotional damage that can set in when society tells you that the way you feel is wrong. It would definitely stifle emotional growth and cause many of the problems you describe. It doesn't excuse it, but the only way you can have an impact is to be the thing you seek in the world, Which it sounds like you are already doing. Eventually you will find like minded individuals.
Brandy O

Bangor, ME

#8 Mar 1, 2014
I found that gay men from the southern US and out West are far more down to Earth on average. I think it's mostly a New England thing where gay men act like freaks. Being gay myself I found a lot gay men in Maine to be irritating game players. Also gay men from places like NY. I spent time at UMaine Orono and have to say on average it wasn't just the gay men that were "emotional cripples" but it's most people in New England in the area. I left UMaine because people there were insufferable and now I take night classes at another local college. I hope to move back out West soon. But yeh it's not all Gay Men everywhere. Try moving out west or more south and you will see much nicer people over all. All I see up here in New England are trouble makers and liars who like nothing more to do than to make false accusations, gossip, and back stab... it's not just the gay men it's the area. I suggest moving and you'll be happier.
Brandy O

Bangor, ME

#9 Mar 1, 2014
Sean Brown wrote:
While reading your post, I can't help but hear the undertones of homophobia in your rhetoric. It's as if you somehow thing your better because of your gender expression. Yes, I'm well aware of the gays of which you speak; I used to be friends with one of them. But what you failed to mention is just as you are grappling with your sexuality in the face of adversity, so are they. So, I say, you are so out of line for those sexist, homophobic comments you posted.
I disagree with you Sean and think he made a lot of good points. I think his comments make you feel threatened and so you are just projecting onto what he said. I also think you can't relate because since you are from a different part of the country you don't understand how obnoxious people in New England are. I come from out west and find that gay men are more down to Earth there than in places like NY and New England. I think he has a different view which I can understand since I moved here. Gay men in the North Eastern US are very rude and act like queens. But then again people both straight and gay in this area are irritating to say the least. But like I said I disagree with you because it sounds more like you are threatened. I also don't think he failed to mention about grappling with sexuality because it sounds like he very much knows who he is and doesn't need to 'act' like a stereotype I'd have to agree with him because I've seen it too in life but also because you haven't lived in an area as negative as this either. Gay men here are insufferable and obnoxious.
Brandy O

Bangor, ME

#10 Mar 1, 2014
tony wrote:
Sean Brown, shut up. I have a feeling your one of the guys the original poster is complaining about.
To the original poster. I've noticed alot of the same trends. It's very easy to be disheartened by the habits of gay men if you tend to be more sensitive and in search of a true human connection with another man. It's bleak to say the least.
When considering the big picture, you have to take into consideration the emotional damage that can set in when society tells you that the way you feel is wrong. It would definitely stifle emotional growth and cause many of the problems you describe. It doesn't excuse it, but the only way you can have an impact is to be the thing you seek in the world, Which it sounds like you are already doing. Eventually you will find like minded individuals.
I agree. Sean Brown sounds very much like the original poster was talking about. He also sounds like one of those Liberal Extremist types who look for their token bad guys. Seans cliche stereotypical world is threatened and so he has to accuse someone of being homophobic and somehow needs to be punished because he's supposedly making bigoted comments. Simply because Sean can not handle an opinion that violates his brainwashed views. I think the poster made a lot of valid points and since I moved to this area I have noticed gay men in New England are very obnoxious and irritating. It doesn't mean someone is homophobic because they don't like queeny game players. Im gay myself and am very settled with who I am but agree 100% that a lot of gay men do act like emotional cripples and it doesn't help them in life. As we get older we need to learn to take responsibility for our own actions and quit blaming society like the extremists do. Like I said in other posts however is that gay men out west and in the southern US act more down to Earth. Though I have met my fair share of queens out West I'd have to say New England is the worst. Also places like New York. But this isn't just the gay men a lot of straight people act like emotional cripples as well. However there are conceptions to the rule and I have met down to earth gay men in this area it's a majority of them are emotionally crippled. One last thing though is that places like Texas have their fair share of idiots as well. ha ha I would like to ad that I am a Democrat but I don't consider myself a Liberal Extremist which they are ruining our party.
PIRATE

Auburn, ME

#11 Mar 6, 2014
I am encouraged by the last line in your post, BrandyO. It is highly encouraging for me to see that there is at least ONE democrat out there who recognizes what the extreme left wing of the democrat party has done to the entire party, that being, it turns people off. Good post

“Groooovin'”

Since: Feb 14

Location hidden

#12 Mar 31, 2014
OMG!!

GET OVER YOURSELVES..!!!

GAY MEN.. Just ACT the way ya WANNA..If it's JUST..SEX ya are LOOKIN' For...Then..Play the DRAG QUEEN HYPE!!

IF it's For LOVE..ACT Your USUAL Self!! Ya Don't have to ACT any Different... CUPID will FIND ya...!!
UMaineman 93

Bangor, ME

#13 Apr 11, 2014
I'm not gay but I understand what you are saying. I've met gay men that act masculine and seem very settled with who they are. If one hits on me and I turn him down it's no big deal to him. But the femmy girly acting ones will keep asking me or hitting on me over and over again and even get pissed off when he feels rejected as if I did something wrong. The emotionally crippled ones are very clingy and needy but don't realize how harassing they can be not to mention obnoxious. My girlfriend and I used to go to a couple alternative bars here and there because some of our best friends were gay. But I stopped going to such bars because of the real nasty crazy femmy ones just won't take no for an answer and even when I turned them down nicely they act all pissed off at me. A lot of them would even start rumors and lies to try and turn people against me. These are the gay men that give the gay community a bad name and is exactly why people want to beat up gay people all the time. The clingy needy girly femmy ones bring it on themselves by acting like a-holes. I mean if a straight man kept hitting on a girl like that people would consider that both harassment and psycho. And she would probably slap him, mace him, or get her boyfriend to kick is @ss. So it's no wonder when some emotionally crippled gay man won't take no for an answer he gets a wooping. But of course the overly liberal news and police call it gay bashing. But when someone is told you are not interested and they grab your crotch and talk in a sarcastic weird lisp it's only logical they're gonna get a mouth full of knuckles. And I don't care if it occurs in public or a gay bar it's not right anywhere to grab anyone like that. My gf and I still have a lot of gay friends but they are the ones who just act like themselves, are hard working, and aren't all needy clingy and pushy. We also couldn't stand all the freaking drama either by the emotionally crippled ones. It's like they need serious therapy but just aren't getting it.
UMaineman 93

Bangor, ME

#14 Apr 11, 2014
Sean Brown wrote:
While reading your post, I can't help but hear the undertones of homophobia in your rhetoric. It's as if you somehow thing your better because of your gender expression. Yes, I'm well aware of the gays of which you speak; I used to be friends with one of them. But what you failed to mention is just as you are grappling with your sexuality in the face of adversity, so are they. So, I say, you are so out of line for those sexist, homophobic comments you posted.
I didn't hear any undertones of homophobia but I just think his truth scares you. Mostly you sound like one of those brain washed liberal extremist nut jobs. You project all kinds of crap onto what people say simply because you disagree with them. Also it sounded to me like he wasn't grappling with his sexuality but rather was very settled with it. And in fact he was actually pointing out the ones who aren't comfortable with their sexuality and those are the emotionally crippled ones that are pushy clingy needy and whiney. Now that to me sounds like the ones who are neither settled with themselves nor comfortable with their sexuality much like you sound in your reply.
Cromwell

Yucaipa, CA

#15 May 18, 2014
"I mean if a straight man kept hitting on a girl like that people would consider that both harassment and psycho."
People who won't take no for an answer are a problem no matter what their orientation but when the person is gay it's suddenly labeled 'emotionally crippled/ needy'?
This forum is so utterly distressing to read.. I can't believe anyone from the LGBT community would be so judgmental as the op or agree with him. I wouldn't even know where to start to reply to that.
*So i'll just say to anyone out there that reads this thread; being an openly gay man absolutely does not make them an emotional cripple*
There are emotionally crippled people in all walks of life, but to make such a blanket statement about one particular group is complete nonsense.
Do not allow the judgmental whispers-n-giggles-behind-othe rs'-backs type to hurt you or the people you care about because that is the type of person who perpetuates stereotypes and spreads hate. That is the type who is not educated or empathetic enough to even begin to understand their fellow human being and what makes them tick and what makes them so diverse. There is always a reason someone acts the way they do but instead of taking thought to why, people like the op will rather lump people (including themselves) into categories so they will think they know what's-what.
Shaun Hill

Birmingham, UK

#16 Jun 12, 2014
I believe just as these overtly feminine men are perhaps exerting a false persona; championing hyper-masculinity and conforming to some homogeneous male archetype is also being false. We need to stop exhibiting this internal homophobia where we judge ourselves on this binary gender divide; where we can only be one thing or another. Being 'queeny' doesn't automatically equate to being bad and vice versa being 'straight acting' doesn't mean someone is good. We are all human and projecting to extremes in either direction is simply insecurity, a coping mechanism against the indoctrination of the media which says you have to conform to this to be a man. We shouldn't turn on each other as we are just furthering the problem as if we meet one person and decide to attribute their negative traits to a whole group... well that just breeds hatred. We are all on a journey to feel comfortable in our own skin, we all want to be ourselves. But it's going to take a while to get there, we after all live in the materialistic 21st century.
Shaun Hill

Birmingham, UK

#17 Jun 12, 2014
P.S. Cromwell has some interesting ideas.

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