Referring to yourself in the third person is a symptom. The tendency to refer to oneself in the third person is often viewed by psychologists as a symptom of narcissism. In order to learn how to effectively refer to yourself in the third person, it is often desirable to understand the narcissist mentality, and develop an ability to "role-play" as an actual narcissist. Needless to say, the comedic potential of having this ability cannot be overestimated, but there is also danger, in that you may inadvertently develop strong narcissistic tendencies in yourself without realizing it.<quoted text>Can you believe this guy? What a maroon. It cracks me up when these uneducated types believe that whatever they write is correct and logical just because they wrote it. They don't realize how silly they look. But, hey.... they will be joining the other bigots in the dustbin of history very soon.
Children who fail to grow out of the "monarchic" phase of intellectual development and into the "dualistic" phase may become narcissistic throughout their lives. They may effectively intellectualize and rationalize their behavior, but their inability to view situations from perspectives other than their own causes them to also become abusive or coldly detached when challenged, and to react with rage and indignance when denied or thwarted in some way.
Paradoxically, the tendency of narcissists to refer to themselves in the third person stems from precisely this inability. When asked to explain their ill-conceived actions or describe their negative emotions, narcissists usually refuse to take responsibility for them. Instead, they blame others, often by composing narratives featuring a suspiciously-autobiographical "fictitious" character who understands everything, is a world-renowned expert in whatever subject is germane to the issue at hand, and whose authority is therefore unquestioned. This is also why narcissists may be inextricably drawn to the act of making up quotes.
According to Dr. Sigmundheimer F. Rhoid, author of Narcissism: Why I'm Right and You're Just Really Gay, "Narcissism can be a very useful tool for quote fabrication. In fact, I happen to personally know a world-famous behavioral theorist who's studied the made-up quoting phenomenon for many years, and he says precisely the same thing."
In general, this kind of activity should be strenuously avoided by anyone wishing to maintain their personal sanity. I might have told you this sooner, but it was already too late.