Bullied Teen Kills Herself

Bullied Teen Kills Herself

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Trace

Peterborough, NH

#1 Jan 25, 2010
Heard about this yesterday while in Hadley & thought that it was important to share; http:www.masslive.com/news/ind ex.ssf/2010/01/south_hadley_hi gh_school_sucide_victim

Crazy and sad. How many more teens will we need to lose to bulling before we take meaningful action?
Trace

Peterborough, NH

#2 Jan 25, 2010
http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2010/0...

South Hadley MA- Investigators wee seeking Friday to determine if bullying may have been a factor in the apparent suicide of a South Hadley High School freshmen at her Newton Street home Thursday afternoon....
Joe

Cuttingsville, VT

#3 Jan 25, 2010
Trace wrote:
Crazy and sad. How many more teens will we need to lose to bulling before we take meaningful action?
It's the law people have to send their children to schools which fail to watch out for the kids in spite of having ample staff because they are union an it's not their job.

Good chance if the choice to attend was left up to the girl she wouldn't have gone to the place, but society has brainwashed adults it's for the childs own good and forces them to go so the education machine & politicians are at fault.

Adults are free to choose to go where they want and wouldn't go back to places where they are abused, yet they force children to attend schools and suffer absue, they are really sick people to do that to defenseless children and the people running the schools are mentality disturbed to insist anyone attend school.

Good question when is society going to take meaningfull action and put an end to the suicides and school shooting by leaving it up to the children if they want to go to school ? Nobody should be forced into a hostile enviroment day after day in a supposedly free country.
Trace

Peterborough, NH

#4 Jan 25, 2010
Joe wrote:
<quoted text>
It's the law people have to send their children to schools which fail to watch out for the kids in spite of having ample staff because they are union an it's not their job.
Good chance if the choice to attend was left up to the girl she wouldn't have gone to the place, but society has brainwashed adults it's for the childs own good and forces them to go so the education machine & politicians are at fault.
Adults are free to choose to go where they want and wouldn't go back to places where they are abused, yet they force children to attend schools and suffer absue, they are really sick people to do that to defenseless children and the people running the schools are mentality disturbed to insist anyone attend school.
Good question when is society going to take meaningfull action and put an end to the suicides and school shooting by leaving it up to the children if they want to go to school ? Nobody should be forced into a hostile enviroment day after day in a supposedly free country.
I see where you are comming from Joe, but those who can help have their hands tied by lawyers and lawsuits. Home schooling is one option, vouchers are another. Kids can be mean and are increassingly disassociated from their actions. These kids watch NCIS, and CSI without blinking, but sit them down in front of a Hallmark movie and they are confused by the emotions/connections.
estanson

Windsor, VT

#5 Jan 25, 2010
Trace wrote:
Crazy and sad. How many more teens will we need to lose to bulling before we take meaningful action?
what do you propose?

doesn't having to deal with bullies in your youth prepare you for the MANY bullies you will meet as an adult?
Isnt school about learning and not shielding?

Isn't this just a high school relationship gone bad...ie...something 90 of high schoolers will have to deal with?
In other words, isn't suicide the problem and not bullying?
Trace

Peterborough, NH

#6 Jan 25, 2010
estanson wrote:
<quoted text>
what do you propose?
doesn't having to deal with bullies in your youth prepare you for the MANY bullies you will meet as an adult?
Isnt school about learning and not shielding?
Isn't this just a high school relationship gone bad...ie...something 90 of high schoolers will have to deal with?
In other words, isn't suicide the problem and not bullying?
There is a reason we speak of newborn, toddlers, children, pre-teens, teens, young adults and then the age of reason, concent or age of majority. Teens do not have the same capacity to arrange such attacks into a healthy perspective or motivation for positive change. In the same instance, I do not believe that bullies are mentally adjusted or healthy and so are themselves crying out for health using the only tools they feel they have. Sometimes it is the bully who has the bigger problem than the one being bullied and they are hiding behind agression. They are going to get you before someone else gets them. One pit bull can be a fine family pet, let two or more pit bulls run at large and you have pack that will cause damage. I don't believe we have the all in one solution, but I can tell you that schools for the most part are unresponsive while individual adults in the school can make and do make a huge difference. The problem with schools is that they, serve more than one 'God'. As a community and individual we should make it our responsibility to end bullying the instant we notice it. Notify and keep notifying the chain of command within the system until it is taken seriously. If that isn't happening fast enough, then go outside the system. The problem is that everyone thinks that it is someone else's job and no onw follows through. These teens are the same kids that we loved when they were eight years old. They aren't so scary once you get involved with their lives in a positive way.
estanson

Windsor, VT

#7 Jan 25, 2010
Trace wrote:
<quoted text>There is a reason we speak of newborn, toddlers, children, pre-teens, teens, young adults and then the age of reason, concent or age of majority. Teens do not have the same capacity to arrange such attacks into a healthy perspective or motivation for positive change. In the same instance, I do not believe that bullies are mentally adjusted or healthy and so are themselves crying out for health using the only tools they feel they have. Sometimes it is the bully who has the bigger problem than the one being bullied and they are hiding behind agression. They are going to get you before someone else gets them. One pit bull can be a fine family pet, let two or more pit bulls run at large and you have pack that will cause damage. I don't believe we have the all in one solution, but I can tell you that schools for the most part are unresponsive while individual adults in the school can make and do make a huge difference. The problem with schools is that they, serve more than one 'God'. As a community and individual we should make it our responsibility to end bullying the instant we notice it. Notify and keep notifying the chain of command within the system until it is taken seriously. If that isn't happening fast enough, then go outside the system. The problem is that everyone thinks that it is someone else's job and no onw follows through. These teens are the same kids that we loved when they were eight years old. They aren't so scary once you get involved with their lives in a positive way.
to me, the problem is that you focus on the school...

as a parent, you are ultimately responsible for the physical and emotional well being of your child...
if your kid doesn't talk with you, thats your failure...
in other words...a good parent would not hear about this first from the school..

i think this overprotection of kids will come back to haunt us...kids need to learn that everyone is not nice, people will try to hurt you and you alone are responsible for your self-esteem...

kids need to learn early on how to deal with bullies...

I think blaming the bullies is like blaming gravity if you weight too much...
Spuds

Chester, VT

#8 Jan 25, 2010
Joe wrote:
<quoted text>
It's the law people have to send their children to schools which fail to watch out for the kids in spite of having ample staff because they are union an it's not their job.
Good chance if the choice to attend was left up to the girl she wouldn't have gone to the place, but society has brainwashed adults it's for the childs own good and forces them to go so the education machine & politicians are at fault.
Adults are free to choose to go where they want and wouldn't go back to places where they are abused, yet they force children to attend schools and suffer absue, they are really sick people to do that to defenseless children and the people running the schools are mentality disturbed to insist anyone attend school.
Good question when is society going to take meaningfull action and put an end to the suicides and school shooting by leaving it up to the children if they want to go to school ? Nobody should be forced into a hostile enviroment day after day in a supposedly free country.
I agree. There should be complete freedom of choice when it comes to schools. The current system has no educational diversity. At the very least the taxing school district should be obligated to refund the tuition to the chosen school.
Joe

Cuttingsville, VT

#9 Jan 25, 2010
Spuds wrote:
<quoted text>I agree. There should be complete freedom of choice when it comes to schools. The current system has no educational diversity. At the very least the taxing school district should be obligated to refund the tuition to the chosen school.
I agree vouchers should be available, but you seem to have not gotten freedom from being forced to attend any school should also be an option for the kids once they are maybe about 12 and can pass something like a 4th grade level reading & math test.

It's not even humane to force teens to go to a place one parent discribed as something like a "The Lord of the Flies" type enviroment which is what many JR High Schools & High Schools amount to.

The myth kids need to grow up and learn how to stand up for themselves is wishfull thinking and doesn't work when some frail kid is out numbered big time and about equal to saying 70 year old woman need to learn self defense if they want to walk the streets at night. What people need to do is avoid enviroments they are dog meat in.

A tough white guy isn't going to hang around a minority ghetto anymore than a tough black guy is going to hang around white redneck biker bars so it doesn't matter how tough the kids are if they don't fit into the school they are going to be dog meat.

The kids need an out of a bad situation besides murder suicide or suicide.

We have managed to make warm & fuzzy grammar schools so the problem seems to be once they hit their teens and are thrown into a zoo middle or high school.

Maybe k-thru-8 schools should be an option, it is sort of insane to put a bunch of 13 to 15 year olds into a large middle school and wish them luck. At least the staff would have know the kids sinse they where little and know who to watch and who to look out for and there would be far fewer young teens in one school. Plus they would try to not act like little kids and try to act cool and muture in front of the little kids.

It's nuts to not try something different and to keep trying to make something that is failing work. Some town or county should try it and see if it helps.
Trace

Peterborough, NH

#10 Jan 25, 2010
estanson wrote:
<quoted text>
to me, the problem is that you focus on the school...
as a parent, you are ultimately responsible for the physical and emotional well being of your child...
if your kid doesn't talk with you, thats your failure...
in other words...a good parent would not hear about this first from the school..
i think this overprotection of kids will come back to haunt us...kids need to learn that everyone is not nice, people will try to hurt you and you alone are responsible for your self-esteem...
kids need to learn early on how to deal with bullies...
I think blaming the bullies is like blaming gravity if you weight too much...
Most parents don't know how to begin to raise their teenagers. They drop them off at daycare at 6 weeks and then suddenly they are 12, strangers and in trouble. Parents are watching their children grow up. They don't understand how to raise them up because they too were in daycare. This is why we have become dependant on the schools. The schools have our children from 8:00 until 5:00 or later. Some parents will pick their kids up from school only to drop them off at one activity after another and then it's off to camps all summer long.
estanson

Chester, VT

#11 Jan 25, 2010
Joe wrote:
<quoted text>
The myth kids need to grow up and learn how to stand up for themselves is wishfull thinking and doesn't work when some frail kid is out numbered big time and about equal to saying 70 year old woman need to learn self defense if they want to walk the streets at night. What people need to do is avoid enviroments they are dog meat in.
.
I disagree, there is a pride that comes in getting your @ss whopped..as long as you are in the right and your raised right...
fighting back is all that matters...
overproecting children however, enforces that they cannot take care of themselves and that they shouldn't even try to...

its a tough world out there...the sooner kids get that and understand they are NOT special...the better...
estanson

Chester, VT

#12 Jan 25, 2010
Trace wrote:
<quoted text>Most parents don't know how to begin to raise their teenagers.
worry about your kids then...but it is dangerous to think you can parent for all...dangerous to you AND THEM!
and to blame schools for not handling what the parents can't handle is wrong, they are supposed to educate, not socialize every kid...

bullies have and will always exist...same as crime does...you can either give the kids the tools they need to deal with bullies or not, but you will never get rid of bullies...and so shouldn't even try...

you can however deal with suicide(the lack of tools to deal)!
Trace

Peterborough, NH

#13 Jan 25, 2010
estanson wrote:
<quoted text>
worry about your kids then...but it is dangerous to think you can parent for all...dangerous to you AND THEM!
and to blame schools for not handling what the parents can't handle is wrong, they are supposed to educate, not socialize every kid...
bullies have and will always exist...same as crime does...you can either give the kids the tools they need to deal with bullies or not, but you will never get rid of bullies...and so shouldn't even try...
you can however deal with suicide(the lack of tools to deal)!
Please do not confuse what I have said with an accusation against this child's family or school. I was asked my opinion on what I thought any of us could do to help. I shared my thoughts as both a parent and former educator. Vermont has an anti bulling law HB.H 629 in place for valid reasons, but I will tell you with first hand experiences that it is only as effective as the schools that are willing or not willing to enforce it. God Bless this child's parents, I believe that any parent who saw this comming would have done everything in their power to stop it.
Joe

Cuttingsville, VT

#14 Jan 25, 2010
estanson wrote:
<quoted text>
I disagree, there is a pride that comes in getting your **** whopped..as long as you are in the right and your raised right...
fighting back is all that matters...
overproecting children however, enforces that they cannot take care of themselves and that they shouldn't even try to...
its a tough world out there...the sooner kids get that and understand they are NOT special...the better...
In todays police state little kids would be going to jail and facing lawsuits. You know the deal with the helicpoter parents and when the kids turn into ugly teenagers they leave them to fend for themselves and wonder what went wrong.

I grew up decades ago and still saw some teens that took a lot of crap doodoo and hated school and life, giving them an out of the situation besides opening fire needs to be there. Lower the work age to 13 and let them quit school. They can always go to adult education when they are older and get a high school deploma and go to a community college and than go on from there if they want to.

The carved in stone american lifestyle doesn't have to exist where every 5 year old marches off to kindergarten and every 18 year old marches off to college, we have become a society of mindless robots, like coming off an assembly line starting with the maternity ward. Ok andriod next step, yes master. Mindless tin soilders marching threw life, ok 65 time to retire because it's carved in stone someplace.

Ford, Edison, Franklin and many more never had much in the way of a education. The school system is sucking the life out of people and turning them into institutionalised robots who don't think for themselves because every minute of their lives are controlled by the machine.

Look at our new and not improved president, guy doesn't have an orgional thought in his head because he was programmed by the education machine. There is no innovation in america today, no vision because people only see what they are told to see and think what they are told to think.
Reality

New Haven, CT

#15 Jan 25, 2010
So Joey, America suddenly became a police state in less than two years?! Is Obama a "magical negro" then? Uh, no. 8 years of damage have been done before this. All the politicians are f'ed these days. And about to become much more so with all controls lifted on corporate control. However, point your whiny finger equally son.
agast in westford

Hudson, MA

#16 Jan 25, 2010
You all are missing the point - what these children did that caused the situation was criminal. They should be prosecuted. I am all for firing the superintendant, bringing in an ex-marine to replace them, canceling all sports and activities (yes all you left wingers arts too), loading these kids with so much homework that they only get 4 hours a sleep at night - until they crack and give up the guilty parties - who will then be immediately removed and sent to juvie - that will teach the the social lessons they failed to learn from thier parents at home.
flat lander

Schuylkill Haven, PA

#17 Jan 26, 2010
It's too bad that she didn't spend a day in Brattleboro to see what depressed is and that there are people mean anywhere. Now that's she is out of their game they will start up something or someone else to make there day. to bad there isn't more Oprah or tmz on to keep them busy
Trace

Peterborough, NH

#18 Jan 26, 2010
agast in westford wrote:
You all are missing the point - what these children did that caused the situation was criminal. They should be prosecuted. I am all for firing the superintendant, bringing in an ex-marine to replace them, canceling all sports and activities (yes all you left wingers arts too), loading these kids with so much homework that they only get 4 hours a sleep at night - until they crack and give up the guilty parties - who will then be immediately removed and sent to juvie - that will teach the the social lessons they failed to learn from thier parents at home.
Does MA have laws in place to charge these students?
flat lander

Schuylkill Haven, PA

#19 Jan 26, 2010
OH ya TRACY they got rules and laws in mass for almost anything. How did those laws work for her. anybody can kill anybody anytime they want even if is against the law but you can still do it if you want and if your not lucky they may frown upon you and put you in the system
Joe

Cuttingsville, VT

#20 Jan 26, 2010
Reality wrote:
So Joey, America suddenly became a police state in less than two years?! Is Obama a "magical negro" then? Uh, no. 8 years of damage have been done before this. All the politicians are f'ed these days. And about to become much more so with all controls lifted on corporate control. However, point your whiny finger equally son.
your paranoid to the max if you think the president of the united states has anything to do with state and local law enforcement or local school policy and better get your computer fixed if you see something about me refering to obomba in this topic, if it's not the computer, than it's you that needs serious help.

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