Men Will Lead Better Lives If They Read My Poem

Posted in the Branson Forum

Ozark Oilfield Roughneck

Taneyville, MO

#1 Feb 4, 2012
Men Will Lead Better Lives If They Read My Poem

Most Men Can Relate ToThe Best Poem I ever wrote

I wrote this for my very best friend....'Herkimer'

who is with me wherever I go,

HERKIMER,.........I said:>>

~~~~~~~~~~

My nookie days are over.........OMG
My pilot light is out
What used to be my sex appeal
Is now my water spout.

Time was when, on its own accord
From my trousers it would spring
But now I've got a full-time job
To find the blasted thing.

It used to be embarrassing
The way it would behave
For every single morning
It would stand and watch me shave.

Now as old age approaches
It sure gives me the blues
To see it hang its little head
And watch me tie my shoes.
~~~~~~~~~~

Can you relate to this?
Sorry

Springfield, MO

#2 Feb 4, 2012
but you get another FAIL for posting the same crap twice.
Renter

Rogersville, MO

#3 Feb 4, 2012
I will Shit on You. If I could I would Shit right in the middle of the 76 Strip. I want to Shit from the Sheperd of the Hills Scenic Tower ontop of Uncle Toms Cabin. Maybe I will take a Shit at the Clay Cooper Theater. What if I Shit from the smoke stack on top of the Titanic. Your Poam Deserves to be Shit on By me the Renter of all Shit. Men Shit Women Poop don't you see something wrong with this. My biggest Shit I will take will be right in the middle of Walmart on 76 Blvd. Those old Basterds deserve to be Shit on. My Shit will run down my Pants leg to be Spread in every Isle of this Walmart. Thank You

Since: Feb 12

United States

#4 Feb 4, 2012
This was a little scary to read!
Renter

Rogersville, MO

#5 Feb 4, 2012
Thumperdink wrote:
This was a little scary to read!
Why would you be a little Scared when you should be alot Scared. Everyone will Shit somewhere. I like to Shit where Shit has never been before. Just imagine me standing next to you in a Store thinking where to Shit next. I could be Standing right next to your Family member right now thinking about takeing a Shit. When Shit piles up Shit is just Shit but if you Throw your Shit at someone your a Shit thrower. I will Refuse to Throw my Shit like a Primate. I like to just Leave my Shit in weird places where Shit shouldn't be. I could live next door to you and thinking about takeing a Shit in your Gutters. What would you do if I did, Move? I think not. You will just take my Shit with the Knowing Shit is just Shit. If you ever step in my Shit you should feel Speicial. Thank You

“Somebody Stop Me”

Since: Nov 08

Branson

#6 Feb 4, 2012
Renter wrote:
<quoted text>Why would you be a little Scared when you should be alot Scared. Everyone will Shit somewhere. I like to Shit where Shit has never been before. Just imagine me standing next to you in a Store thinking where to Shit next. I could be Standing right next to your Family member right now thinking about takeing a Shit. When Shit piles up Shit is just Shit but if you Throw your Shit at someone your a Shit thrower. I will Refuse to Throw my Shit like a Primate. I like to just Leave my Shit in weird places where Shit shouldn't be. I could live next door to you and thinking about takeing a Shit in your Gutters. What would you do if I did, Move? I think not. You will just take my Shit with the Knowing Shit is just Shit. If you ever step in my Shit you should feel Speicial. Thank You
That's deep, know what I mean? You know how you admire your handywork after you finish, but it annoys you when you use a public facility and someone is rude and doesn't dispose of their offspring? Although I must admit, I sometimes like to see how many aisles I can expel a vapor trail. My personal record is something like 20 aisles. And it is really funny when you look back at the poor fools who walk into your biological war zone, and they realize there's no quick way out.
SuZ

Springfield, MO

#7 Feb 4, 2012
Thanks guys *face/palm*
Renter

Rogersville, MO

#8 Feb 4, 2012
DRCARP wrote:
<quoted text>That's deep, know what I mean? You know how you admire your handywork after you finish, but it annoys you when you use a public facility and someone is rude and doesn't dispose of their offspring? Although I must admit, I sometimes like to see how many aisles I can expel a vapor trail. My personal record is something like 20 aisles. And it is really funny when you look back at the poor fools who walk into your biological war zone, and they realize there's no quick way out.
My Hat is Tipped to you my freind. I will Shit on something Special Tonight just for you. A Police Cars Hood. Not any Police Car Hood a Silver Doller City Police Car/Golf Cart. Thank You

“Somebody Stop Me”

Since: Nov 08

Branson

#10 Feb 5, 2012
Renter wrote:
<quoted text>My Hat is Tipped to you my freind. I will Shit on something Special Tonight just for you. A Police Cars Hood. Not any Police Car Hood a Silver Doller City Police Car/Golf Cart. Thank You
Ahh my friend......we exist in the same parallel plane. Steal Your Dollar City (I borrowed that from a Topix poster) is a deserving recipient of your largess. I guess Benny Hill had it right when he said "Do unto others before they do you".
Dr Hart of Dixe Mo

Taneyville, MO

#12 Feb 5, 2012
hey Dr Carp, who the hell is benbny hill?
DRCARP wrote:
<quoted text>Ahh my friend......we exist in the same parallel plane. Steal Your Dollar City (I borrowed that from a Topix poster) is a deserving recipient of your largess. I guess Benny Hill had it right when he said "Do unto others before they do you".

“Somebody Stop Me”

Since: Nov 08

Branson

#13 Feb 5, 2012
Dr Hart of Dixe Mo wrote:
hey Dr Carp, who the hell is benbny hill?
<quoted text>
Yo Dog, He was a British comedian who didn't have to put up with the trash we deal with here in the land of the free today. Where it is supposed to be funny where every fancy boy and alternate lifestyler flaunts their perversion cast in roles on weekly television shows.

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