sexless marriage advice

Posted in the Boylston Forum

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#1 Jan 21, 2012
Hello Friend, I hope you find this advice of help, I sure did. A sexy mature women like yourself trapped in a sexless marriage is a shame. It does not have to be so. Things are not always black and white, this is a truly grey area. If he can not or simply does not want to provide you what you still desire what's a girl to do. Leave him? If he's a jerk then yes. If he's a decent person who's good to you, not so easy. He wants companionship, you may be all he has. Continue to be that companion, that is the decent thing to do. However, your whole life you have done for others, just because that will continue does not mean you cannot also finally do for yourself! An open marriage? No. That is not the route for you, too public, to in his face, probably hurtful to even suggest. This is not a public decision for you, the bar scene or craigslist is not an option. Your husband may actually understand and want this for you but why do that to him, he does not need to know, spare his feelings. You should consider finding yourself a "Friend With Benefits". Look it up on line for further explaination. You may already have someone in mind, trust me someone has you in mind! Think of your life, your circles, your routine. Chances are there are between 1 to 3 men who may fit the bill. A man you trust, have access to, and most importantly are attracted to. Statistics say one of the three will be interested for sure, one is most likely, and the other probably would but will find a reason to decline although he would be honored and secretive. Narrow it down and trust your instincts. Ever flirted even teased, exchanged that look? If ever even once you had that though, that one of those moments occured, that man is the one. If you were not the one who initiated, it is your turn, do not be scared, you only live once. He will reciprocate. Let me share my story as an example that you can copy or alter, I hope you do, he hopes you do as well.
I am 54 and he is 39, he is a neighbors son that I have known since he was 19. We always flirted a bit, exchanged those glances etc., very hot. He would walk over to borrow then return things, always just after my husband would leave. He still visits and helps his mom often and still pays me his visit on occasion. Finally one day while unloading groceries I caught him checking me out while bending over. He walked to me and smiled, said "caught". Then offered to help me carry them in. My luck, up the street comes my husbands car. God I wonder what would have happened once inside. Drove me crazy thinking of it. A month went by and every minute was spent wanting to recreate that moment. So ladies, I took some initiative. I called him over to help remove a limb from my roof, actually a twig I tossed there. When he came I was in my robe tightly wrapped as I "forgot" he was coming. It took him maybe 30 second to remove the "limb". When he came in I had a beer for him and the robe had loosened considerably. I said, thanks for doing that for me otherwise I may have had to of waited for a slight breeze to do it. He said he was glad I hadn't because he had waited long enough to do this, and with that he leaned in to me and kissed me as he slid his hand beneath my robe. That was the most amazing afternoon of my life. I am finally living for me! His mom would be devestated which is why we both know we can trust each other competely, the pefect scenerio. No one gets hurt. It can happen. make it happen for you. All the best!

Shrewsbury, MA

#2 Jan 21, 2012
thanks, very helpfull. Good to know I am not only one in this situation. Exact situation. Here's hoping for exact solution.

Scranton, PA

#3 Jan 23, 2012
Hi. No,not even close to being the only one. Here's what I found, as usual, if a women shuts her man off then he has the right to go elsewhere, double standard as always. Guess what, no longer playing by those rules. If a women's husband shuts her off then she also has the right to go elsewhere. My husband is that "nice guy" and to leave him would be terribly hard on him as I am all he's really ever had. No family or friends around at all. Years ago I turned to the internet and toys but felt I deserved more. However, I did not have an accessible guy as described above, that would have made things way easier as trust and cleanliness is a big concern. I gambles a bit more but still turned out good in the end. Younger man but that's all for similarities. I am 60 and he's a 45 year old electrician that my neighbor said was gorgeous and came on to her while working at her house and she's a year older than I. I had a bulb break in a socket and could not remove without getting zapped, real easy fix that I scheduled for a time Tim was out. I wore a tight skirt and an even tighter sweater and used way more perfume than was needed on purpose. He showed up and although he was a handsome man I would not have described him as gorgeous and he could have stood to loose a few pounds around the belly but I was not changing course at this time. Better than I have had in near 20 years. Anyway he came in and took about 30 seconds to remove the broken part of the bulb. I offered him a beer which he accepted. He asked what special place I was going as I looked and smelled very nice. I told him my afternoon was free and that I just liked looking nice for company. He asked what my husband thought of my dolling up so much for company and I said my husband could care less and will never know what I dressed like or did this afternoon. He smiled, got my hint and we had the most amazing sex I have ever had in my life. No more double standards for this girl.

Shrewsbury, MA

#4 Jan 24, 2012
Sounds like a plan, a deserved plan.


#5 Jan 24, 2012
Mutual attraction is easy to find, mutual trust is the key. Two people who can keep a secret can make this happen and no one would get hurt. Be smart, be discreet and enjoy. I know for fact it can happen, no not personnally, no such luck, but I have a friend who's been enjoying and attractive older acquiantance for years now. Works for all invloved, no one gets hurt. Enjoy!


#6 Jan 24, 2012
that appointment day ladies. Make the call.


#7 Jan 24, 2012
True, always a double standard, If he won't then go girl. Nothing wrong at all, he's not interested but someone will no matter your age. Guys are into mature women, many a web site dedicated to just that. Take advantage of the times, go for it.
old fart

Webster, MA

#8 Jan 28, 2012
hmmmmmmmmmm, would love to hook up with a awesome lady to be her FWB........... my ice box marraige just does not cut it anymore

Shrewsbury, MA

#9 Feb 1, 2012
God I wish i could even remember what it felt like, does that alone justify going for it?
to you olda gal

Shrewsbury, MA

#10 Feb 3, 2012
Yes it does, go for it. Call him to come help with any lame choir and drop a hint. You'll get what you want and deserve.

Shrewsbury, MA

#11 Feb 3, 2012
average dude fantasizes about an affair with a women 12-15 years older than him. Ladies search on line, specifically what you desire, who you want to do what to you, and you will find proof it is the fantasy of others. Then go for it and enjoy. If your hubby wont give it to you, I will.
Linda oooooou

Shrewsbury, MA

#12 Feb 6, 2012
god how I long for it. cannot even remember my last time, and it was never good. I deserve it good at least once don't I?

Shrewsbury, MA

#13 Feb 7, 2012
and I just came everywhere, oooooooou Linda yes you do baby yes you do!

Shrewsbury, MA

#14 Feb 9, 2012

Shrewsbury, MA

#15 Feb 14, 2012
I am no longer with her, we are two adults attracted to one another, who trust and enjoy ones company. The age difference not only doesn't matter but is hot. Nothing wrong with it, lets make this happen. Lets make Valentines day the start of an amazing year. You have been neglected far to long.

Shrewsbury, MA

#16 Feb 15, 2012
an age difference can be very hot indeed.

Shrewsbury, MA

#17 Feb 18, 2012
very very hot, for both.
dotcom searcher

Shrewsbury, MA

#18 Feb 23, 2012
His loss, go for it!

Annapolis, MD

#19 Feb 26, 2012
i hate to make something hot then ur not gonna get it while its hot! that gets old,,so do we. love me! or let me love.
lovemature more

Shrewsbury, MA

#20 Feb 29, 2012
go for it, you deserve.

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