Is my hubby a freak or ??? Need advice

Is my hubby a freak or ??? Need advice

Posted in the Bowling Green Forum

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Married

Alliance, OH

#1 Jan 1, 2013
I've been married a yr and at first sex what just normal sex good sex. After a while he has asked to bring in other couples and I just can't bring myself to do I just don't think I can share I would prolly flip out. So then he's asked me to start fantizing about us being with other people like he wants me to do this to her and this I him and even went as far to say he would let him suck it and he would suck there's ok that blowed my mind. I just want him to be into me. Could he be bi? Don't get me wrong in my collage years I kissed on 3 girls but that's all. What to do any advice? Plz no stupid comments plz it's my first marriage and I love him. Thanks
Not okay

North Ridgeville, OH

#2 Jan 1, 2013
Married wrote:
I've been married a yr and at first sex what just normal sex good sex. After a while he has asked to bring in other couples and I just can't bring myself to do I just don't think I can share I would prolly flip out. So then he's asked me to start fantizing about us being with other people like he wants me to do this to her and this I him and even went as far to say he would let him suck it and he would suck there's ok that blowed my mind. I just want him to be into me. Could he be bi? Don't get me wrong in my collage years I kissed on 3 girls but that's all. What to do any advice? Plz no stupid comments plz it's my first marriage and I love him. Thanks
He is making you very uncomfortable and that is wrong for a spouse to do. He needs to grow up. Request marriage counseling and church.
too hot to handle

United States

#5 Jan 1, 2013
Married wrote:
I've been married a yr and at first sex what just normal sex good sex. After a while he has asked to bring in other couples and I just can't bring myself to do I just don't think I can share I would prolly flip out. So then he's asked me to start fantizing about us being with other people like he wants me to do this to her and this I him and even went as far to say he would let him suck it and he would suck there's ok that blowed my mind. I just want him to be into me. Could he be bi? Don't get me wrong in my collage years I kissed on 3 girls but that's all. What to do any advice? Plz no stupid comments plz it's my first marriage and I love him. Thanks
. Yeah I'd say he's bi. How long did u know him before u married him? And its one thing to want to please ur partner but another to do something ur totally uncomfortable with. Maybe a compromise? U said you've kissed girls in college? Maybe u can go that route & c if that sates his appetite. Maybe goto a special "club" and feel the vibe there. Set boundaries before u go in & stick to them. Observe. Watch how the couples interact. Go to the rooms with windows & see first hand what it entales. If u enjoy what u c then plan another trip, set ur boundaries again & try something new if u like. At least this way u can say u tried & maybe he will understand...
Tim

Hillview, KY

#6 Jan 1, 2013
Married wrote:
I've been married a yr and at first sex what just normal sex good sex. After a while he has asked to bring in other couples and I just can't bring myself to do I just don't think I can share I would prolly flip out. So then he's asked me to start fantizing about us being with other people like he wants me to do this to her and this I him and even went as far to say he would let him suck it and he would suck there's ok that blowed my mind. I just want him to be into me. Could he be bi? Don't get me wrong in my collage years I kissed on 3 girls but that's all. What to do any advice? Plz no stupid comments plz it's my first marriage and I love him. Thanks
Yes he is bi, but he is no freak. Many guys are bi.

a
Married

Alliance, OH

#7 Jan 1, 2013
He says he never has done anything with a man but he wants to fantisize about a couple and everyone on everyone he thinks about it that's why I think he may be bi. We have been together two years but after we married he started this mess I just don't know what to think . Thank u for the kind comments
marriedtoo

Auburn, KY

#8 Jan 1, 2013
My husband and I talk about all different kinds of situations during sex. Would he love to do some of them for real? Prob yes. But he seems totally satisfied just talking about it. It turns him on. He hasn't mentioned it outside the bedroom.
Hello

New Albany, IN

#9 Jan 1, 2013
Sorry to hear he's making you so uncomfortable. To be honest, a husband should never "tell" his wife to do anything. He should have discussed it with you, gathered it was not something you were into, and dropped the subject. Stand your ground, let him know it's not something you're into. You can try toys, like a strap-on, but from experience I know that most men will only want more. I used to be more than happy to experiment with partners before any commitment is made -engagement, marriage, ect.- which is something I had always mad clear. But unfortunately, after my last relationship got to the engagement stage, and the threesomes with other women stopped, he just went on without me.
I would suggest REALLY talking to him about it. Not during the heat of the moment, but while you're both level-headed. Try not to fight. Tell him it's not something you're interested in doing, that you love him, you're in an adult relationship, a MARRIAGE, and the party life is over and it's time to settle down. If it's something he absolutely won't drop, than you will most likely need marriage counselling.

And last but not least, you may need to consider the possibility he may be gay. With homosexuality still being considered a despicable sin and taboo, especially here in the southeast, it's quite possible he's deluded himself into thinking himself straight or just bi-curious. If this is the case, it wouldn't stop at sex, he will eventually fall in love. And while this can be one of the hardest things to forgive after investing so much time and emotion into a relationship, you have to understand how much he's going through, and for what it's worth, he would still have loved you very much to have married you in the first place, and that there are many types of soul-mates, you each could still be very important parts of each others life if worse comes to worse.

I hope that's not the case, and it's just a phase. Good luck, and remember the key to every happy relationship is communication.
Vestie

Bowling Green, KY

#10 Jan 2, 2013
You need to get you a tranny with a big one to satisfy both of you. You can take turns or roll all three together.
Me too

United States

#11 Jan 2, 2013
I have dealt with the same thing! My partner insisted we try being with another woman. He wouldn't let it rest. I gave in. All I can tell you is we will never be the same. A big part of me died that first time. Now I am just numb to it. The love I once has for him is not the same. I feel I was forced into making his fantasy a reality. It started out he just wanted to try it ONCE... Trust me, they don't stop at ONCE!!!!! They want it again, and better, then they become addicted and eventually sex with you just will not be satisfying enough.... If you love your relationship, don't give in. Trust me. It has ruined the pure love I once had for a man that I now look at and just feel pain.
Vestie

Bowling Green, KY

#12 Jan 2, 2013
Too bad you didn't try my idea. Now you came up short, so to speak.
Hello

New Albany, IN

#13 Jan 2, 2013
Vestie that sounds fun and all, but she obviously doesn't want to share her husband with anyone and shouldn't feel the need to have to.

But yeah.
Fun.:)
Shame

New Haven, KY

#14 Jan 3, 2013
If he really loved you , then you would be enough.
too hot to handle

United States

#15 Jan 3, 2013
I think she is enough. He is sharing a fantasy with her. If she wasn't enough he wouldn't have mentioned it & found someone else to do it with. Lord knows there's enough home wrecking wh*res (men & women) who would gladly oblige. Doubt me? Check out ashley madison or swappernet...
divorced

Bowling Green, KY

#16 Jan 3, 2013
I just ended 14 years of marriage for a similar situation. My Husband wanted to try new things & convinced me to try them with him. After a few times of visiting social clubs/private parties and hooking up with like-minded individuals, my husband quickly became addicted to the lifestyle while I was hesitant. First it was one couple, and then another couple, and numerous threesome encounters. My husband and I quickly began to grow apart. He continued to desire the fantasies and eventually began to engage in them without me. He is currently with one of the women that we had sexual encounters with. This has been the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. Watching someone lose their desire, lust, & love for you and watching it grow for something/someone else is horrific. I tried to buy new clothes, change my hair, do things that I thought would make him find his attraction for me again, but nothing worked. Now I am forced to start life over again, and I will never make the same mistake twice. I am not judging those that participate in open-relationships, you must have the same open minded partners to live that life. I never knew my husband wanted to be a swinger until 9 years into our marriage. If this is something you are not comfortable doing, do not do it.
Not a freak

Livermore, KY

#17 Jan 3, 2013
Married wrote:
I've been married a yr and at first sex what just normal sex good sex. After a while he has asked to bring in other couples and I just can't bring myself to do I just don't think I can share I would prolly flip out. So then he's asked me to start fantizing about us being with other people like he wants me to do this to her and this I him and even went as far to say he would let him suck it and he would suck there's ok that blowed my mind. I just want him to be into me. Could he be bi? Don't get me wrong in my collage years I kissed on 3 girls but that's all. What to do any advice? Plz no stupid comments plz it's my first marriage and I love him. Thanks
Does your husband *really* want other couples to be there or is it just a fantasy? For lots of guys a fantasy is just that--a fantasy. It can make the sex between the two of you hotter and more intimate if you can share fantasies without feeling pressured to actually fulfill them. My boyfriend has brought up the same things (us with another couple, switching it up but not in the usual way..i.e.him with the other guy, me with the other girl). At first I was a bit put off by it, but after I realized it's 99.9% fantasy, I'm ok with it. MORE than okay with it, actually. We can fantasize about it and say, "If it ever happens, that would be awesome, but if not we already have exactly what we want in each other." Whatever happens between two (or more) consenting adults is *normal*. Everyone is different and as long as everyone involved is comfortable (and if you're not, SPEAK UP!), it's not abnormal. But like I said before, maybe he wants to fantasize with you, and that's all there is to it.
Bombardier

Bowling Green, KY

#18 Jan 3, 2013
If a guy has a fantasy about being sexual with another guy, he is gay. That says all you need to know.
Opposite view

United States

#19 Jan 3, 2013
Can we get a guys opinion on the matter???? Tell us, what makes you want to live out a fantasy??
Swinger cpl

United States

#20 Jan 3, 2013
Millions of people participate in the swinger lifestyle everyday and are just as happy , or happier than people not in the lifestyle. We have been in the swinger lifestyle about 8 yrs, and have been married 19 yrs. Our experience in this lifestyle has only drawn us closer and more attached to each other. Granted I will say the lifestyle isn't for everyone. It requires total trust, and great communication. If one of the couple isn't totally comfortable it will not work period. My advice as a guy is sit him down, and talk it out between the 2 of you as rational adults. Tell him your concerns, and listen to his. If the 2 of you can't agree on some common ground then seek counseling and see if you can resolve the issues that way. Good luck, I hope it works out for both your best interest.
Darth Fader

Canton, OH

#21 Jan 3, 2013
The swinger lifestyle diffidently is not for the weak minded.If you have trust or self esteem issues stay away from it. Otherwise it can be very fun. Sex is like food. Could you really eat the same meal day after day the rest of your life and be happy? Heres the hang up for most people. They associate sex with love and the two are totally different and not interchangeable. Having sex with someone different doesn't mean you love them. Hell I didn't love most of my sex partners one bit.
hey

North Ridgeville, OH

#22 Jan 3, 2013
My wife and I have been married for 16 years. She knew most of my fetishes before we married. I am a leather rubber fetishist that enjoys being dominated. I also like being forced to oraly service men during the sessions. We have participated in this lifestyle for years. its not for everyone, but it works for us. i have seen my wife "F -ed" by other men and its a real turn on for a yourng muscular man to take her. Want to know more... just ask. And no we are not acepting applications.

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