Christmas is hard this year

Christmas is hard this year

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Working Mom

United States

#1 Dec 9, 2012
I'm a single mom. I work full time. Everything is getting so expensive that we live paycheck to paycheck. The ex-husband is $1500 behind in his child support. For the first time ever, I don't know how I'm going to be able to buy even one present for my two kids. I feel like a complete loser and a total failure. I've tried explaining things to my kids---how mommy has to pay for food and electricity and there is no money left for anything else. But I hate seeing the looks on their faces when I have to tell them no---mommy only has enough money for groceries, not anything else. I dread Christmas morning. They are going to be so disappointed when they have nothing under the tree. I feel completely useless. Oh well. Thanks for listening. I feel a little better just typing this out. I guess everyone needs to vent every once in a while.

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#3 Dec 9, 2012
I am very sorry you are having to go through this. I've been in your shoes and it's not fun. Luckily, I had a very good support system. The Ladies' Auxillary (part of the American Legion) adopted my kids for that Christmas so they wouldn't have to go without. There is so much help out there for people in your situation. I know it's hard to swallow your pride to ask for help but perhaps you could try different things. I don't know if it's too late or not to sign up for the Angel Tree program or the Salvation Army. Do you go to church anywhere? Perhaps they could help out. Or maybe your family could step up a little and buy one or two extra gifts for the kids. I wish I could help but I lost my job back in August and haven't been able to find anything. Just remember, if you do receive help, in the future when you are able to "pay it forward" to help someone who could use it. Best of luck to you and remember, even though it feels like the end of the world, there are so many other people in your situation....the kids will survive and so will you!
Bombardier

La Grange, KY

#4 Dec 9, 2012
Working mom, you sound like someone who has their priorities in order. Loving, feeding, clothing and sheltering your kids. That's the best present you can give them. You should not feel like a failure.
so true

New Haven, KY

#5 Dec 9, 2012
no way at all should you feel bad. what ages are your children?
Just an idea

Dunmor, KY

#6 Dec 9, 2012
Working Mom wrote:
I'm a single mom. I work full time. Everything is getting so expensive that we live paycheck to paycheck. The ex-husband is $1500 behind in his child support. For the first time ever, I don't know how I'm going to be able to buy even one present for my two kids. I feel like a complete loser and a total failure. I've tried explaining things to my kids---how mommy has to pay for food and electricity and there is no money left for anything else. But I hate seeing the looks on their faces when I have to tell them no---mommy only has enough money for groceries, not anything else. I dread Christmas morning. They are going to be so disappointed when they have nothing under the tree. I feel completely useless. Oh well. Thanks for listening. I feel a little better just typing this out. I guess everyone needs to vent every once in a while.
What ages and gender are your children I have some extra stuff I bought this year I would love to help. You shouldn't feel bad sounds like you are doing your best, let me know.
info

Alliance, OH

#7 Dec 9, 2012
Working Mom wrote:
I'm a single mom. I work full time. Everything is getting so expensive that we live paycheck to paycheck. The ex-husband is $1500 behind in his child support. For the first time ever, I don't know how I'm going to be able to buy even one present for my two kids. I feel like a complete loser and a total failure. I've tried explaining things to my kids---how mommy has to pay for food and electricity and there is no money left for anything else. But I hate seeing the looks on their faces when I have to tell them no---mommy only has enough money for groceries, not anything else. I dread Christmas morning. They are going to be so disappointed when they have nothing under the tree. I feel completely useless. Oh well. Thanks for listening. I feel a little better just typing this out. I guess everyone needs to vent every once in a while.
Have you contacted the family resource center at your child's school? They can find somebody to help you. I know how you feel. I have struggled as a single mom without support. Wishing you good luck.
Timmy

Tucker, GA

#8 Dec 9, 2012
We were in the same position when I was a kid 15-20 years ago, when I got to know how hard life was financially at about 12, I always told my patents that the greatest gift on Christmas was just having a great family and encouraged them to save there money and told them I wasn't interested in presents. Now that I'm in my 30s, I still struggle, although I don't have kids, I can't afford to get my loved ones gifts and I don't ask for any in return I just simply tell my family that saving there money is the greatest gift.

I'm sorry your kids are going through the sadness of not receiving any presents, I know there are options like the angel tree, shop with the firefighters, and Flora Stuart has a big Christmas party for low income families, look into those alternatives. My parents use to buy for the angel tree program after they found decent jobs.
workingstiff

New Albany, IN

#9 Dec 9, 2012
Haven't you heard?? The recession is over and we're all doing so much better! I really wish the politicians would get their heads out of the clouds and see how real people are living. For the first time in 20 years, I'm living paycheck to paycheck too. I used to have money in the checking account, go out to Red Lobster and buy nice clothes. Now I can't afford to eat at McDonalds. Boy, am I ever glad the recession is over!
Keeping it Real

White Plains, KY

#10 Dec 9, 2012
Working mom could have signed her kids up as a
Christmas Tree family or through the Resource Center through their school. There are a lot of
resources out there that could have provided Christmas for her children. Don't fall for it.
Working Mom

United States

#11 Dec 9, 2012
Thanks for all your kind words everybody and the suggestions. I will check with the family resource center at school tomorrow. I've never been in this situation before and didn't know that the school might be able to help with this.
And again, thanks for listening. Some of us have nobody we can talk to about our problems. And even though you guys don't know me you took time out of your day to read what I had to say and try to make me feel better. And to someone like me, that means more than you will ever know.
Just an idea

Dunmor, KY

#12 Dec 9, 2012
Working Mom wrote:
Thanks for all your kind words everybody and the suggestions. I will check with the family resource center at school tomorrow. I've never been in this situation before and didn't know that the school might be able to help with this.
And again, thanks for listening. Some of us have nobody we can talk to about our problems. And even though you guys don't know me you took time out of your day to read what I had to say and try to make me feel better. And to someone like me, that means more than you will ever know.
I meant what I said above I have a couple Monster High Dolls that I bought extra for christmas just in case I needed them for something if you have a little girl you are more than welcome to them just let me know and we could meet in a public place and I will give them to you. I know what it's like to be down.
so true

New Haven, KY

#13 Dec 10, 2012
Working Mom wrote:
Thanks for all your kind words everybody and the suggestions. I will check with the family resource center at school tomorrow. I've never been in this situation before and didn't know that the school might be able to help with this.
And again, thanks for listening. Some of us have nobody we can talk to about our problems. And even though you guys don't know me you took time out of your day to read what I had to say and try to make me feel better. And to someone like me, that means more than you will ever know.
What ages and gender are your kids, I also would love to give you some things we have. I can drop them off and you can pick them up , no questions ask...I have been where you are at, and trying to pay it forward..
Question

Hillview, KY

#14 Dec 10, 2012
It is so nice to see such positive and uplifting words, help, and encouragement. Restores just a little bit of faith. Keep your chin up. When you are at rock bottom, the only place to go is up. Use the blocks that have been put in your path as stepping stones. I know easier said than done, but I will pray for you.
Ashley Reeder

United States

#15 Dec 10, 2012
Just shows how big of a heart yall have :)
Its not always easy

Canton, OH

#16 Dec 10, 2012
Working Mom, I know exactly what you mean. My daughter is 19, and she is autistic. She doesn't attend school because of her disability, and therefore she doesn't have the school resource. I work 2 jobs just to pay the bills. We make too much to get state assistance of any kind, other than her medical insurance because of her disability. My husband is disabled, but does not draw disability. I have to pay out of pocket for all of our medical which includes $475 a month for his medicine, and $250 a month for mine, not to mention the doctors visits.
I also have a 3 year old granddaughter that I am taking care of right now, since her mother is in the hospital, and my son is a truck driver. So feeding ourselves right now is our biggest issue. We didn't bother to put up a Christmas tree this year, and I am praying my granddaughter is too young to remember or think much of Christmas this year, and my 19 year old is the one that it will bother the most. She just doesn't understand things like no money, and no Christmas. She has the mind of about a 10 year old so that is going to be the hardest for me.
I like yourself have found myself in a hard situation. I have called the local resources, even if just for a food basket to have a traditional ham dinner for Christmas, but most of them have already handed out their baskets, or have stopped taking names to help with.
The best thing to do is find fun things to do with them this year, and make new memories. After all, the physical items of Christmas will be soon forgotten, and the memories will what count. We have planned a day of games, music, and movies.
Hold your head up high, and don't listen to those that want to put you down. You are trying, like I am, and that's all that counts.
Merry Christmas All and God Bless!
FISHY

Alliance, OH

#17 Dec 10, 2012
I am a single parent with 3 kids and work two jobs. The first job wasn't enough, so I knew what I had to do in order to survive.

This is what angers me about single mothers: Christmas Day has ALWAYS been on December 25th! No exception!! Could you not of picked up one $5/10 toy starting in August? I mean, did it not ever occur to you to do that?

I know FIRST hand the struggles of being a sinlge woman with kids. It's a tough, lonely, and cold road. But By God, I'm doing it. There are always corner to be cut in order to buy Christmas for your children.

Example- Instead of buying bodywash for $3, buy Ivory bar soap ( 4 bars for $1). Instead of buying Sunbeam bread for $2.08, buy the .88 cent loaf. Instead of buying Kraft Cheese for $3.50 buy the knock off brand for $2.25. I even had to resort to making my own laundry soap. But I done excatly what I needed to do in order to make it.
Its not always easy

Canton, OH

#18 Dec 10, 2012
Congratulations Fishy! You are a great woman, hold your head up high. But please don't put others down for asking for a little help. I'm sure somewhere, somehow, along the way, you had some type of help.

Yes, I work 2 jobs, and yes, I too, have been a single mom, so I know it's not easy. But don't judge another until you have walked a mile in their shoes.

Just because you walk the same road, doesn't mean your footsteps are always going to be the same.

People look at me and think there may be nothing wrong. They don't see the hole in my leg from the staph infection. They don't see when I lay there and cry because of the pain I am experiencing after running all day on my two jobs.

They don't see the fact that me even having my leg, no matter how badly disfigured, is a miracle that I can even walk. But some days are better than others, when I can walk mostly normal and there are days when I have to resort to a rolling walker just to get around.

But please whatever you do, don't put someone else down because they are asking for help. After all, one day you may again find yourself in that spot and have to do the same yourself.
FISHY wrote:
I am a single parent with 3 kids and work two jobs. The first job wasn't enough, so I knew what I had to do in order to survive.
This is what angers me about single mothers: Christmas Day has ALWAYS been on December 25th! No exception!! Could you not of picked up one $5/10 toy starting in August? I mean, did it not ever occur to you to do that?
I know FIRST hand the struggles of being a sinlge woman with kids. It's a tough, lonely, and cold road. But By God, I'm doing it. There are always corner to be cut in order to buy Christmas for your children.
Example- Instead of buying bodywash for $3, buy Ivory bar soap ( 4 bars for $1). Instead of buying Sunbeam bread for $2.08, buy the .88 cent loaf. Instead of buying Kraft Cheese for $3.50 buy the knock off brand for $2.25. I even had to resort to making my own laundry soap. But I done excatly what I needed to do in order to make it.
Doctor Trump

Floyds Knobs, IN

#19 Dec 11, 2012
Its not always easy wrote:
Congratulations Fishy! You are a great woman, hold your head up high. But please don't put others down for asking for a little help. I'm sure somewhere, somehow, along the way, you had some type of help.
Yes, I work 2 jobs, and yes, I too, have been a single mom, so I know it's not easy. But don't judge another until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
Just because you walk the same road, doesn't mean your footsteps are always going to be the same.
People look at me and think there may be nothing wrong. They don't see the hole in my leg from the staph infection. They don't see when I lay there and cry because of the pain I am experiencing after running all day on my two jobs.
They don't see the fact that me even having my leg, no matter how badly disfigured, is a miracle that I can even walk. But some days are better than others, when I can walk mostly normal and there are days when I have to resort to a rolling walker just to get around.
But please whatever you do, don't put someone else down because they are asking for help. After all, one day you may again find yourself in that spot and have to do the same yourself.
<quoted text>
Single moms are woman who don't deserve love.
brandy

Floyds Knobs, IN

#20 Dec 11, 2012
Sorry about your situation this year during the Christmas Season. I know it is hard for you and your children. You most likely can receive help from the Salvation Army. Just tell them the story you told on Topix. Most likely they still have some openings for the Angel Tree. Also alot of Churches have Christmas parties, and food for the people at Christmas. Food Banks like Hotel Incorporated will give you some help with your groceries. Which in turn will make you able to have a few extra dollars to spend for their Christmas gifts. Fred's, Dollar Store, Kmart as while as Walmart have nice Toys at low prices. Even coloring books, books, and crayons wrapped up at Christmas will make any child happy. Also check with your family, friends and church at this time. Or maybe get a Christmas Job for a few weeks that is what I used to do for extra money for my kids. I worked 2 jobs and cleaned on my days for the elderly. Brandy.
so true

New Haven, KY

#21 Dec 11, 2012
Its not always easy wrote:
Working Mom, I know exactly what you mean. My daughter is 19, and she is autistic. She doesn't attend school because of her disability, and therefore she doesn't have the school resource. I work 2 jobs just to pay the bills. We make too much to get state assistance of any kind, other than her medical insurance because of her disability. My husband is disabled, but does not draw disability. I have to pay out of pocket for all of our medical which includes $475 a month for his medicine, and $250 a month for mine, not to mention the doctors visits.
I also have a 3 year old granddaughter that I am taking care of right now, since her mother is in the hospital, and my son is a truck driver. So feeding ourselves right now is our biggest issue. We didn't bother to put up a Christmas tree this year, and I am praying my granddaughter is too young to remember or think much of Christmas this year, and my 19 year old is the one that it will bother the most. She just doesn't understand things like no money, and no Christmas. She has the mind of about a 10 year old so that is going to be the hardest for me.
I like yourself have found myself in a hard situation. I have called the local resources, even if just for a food basket to have a traditional ham dinner for Christmas, but most of them have already handed out their baskets, or have stopped taking names to help with.
The best thing to do is find fun things to do with them this year, and make new memories. After all, the physical items of Christmas will be soon forgotten, and the memories will what count. We have planned a day of games, music, and movies.
Hold your head up high, and don't listen to those that want to put you down. You are trying, like I am, and that's all that counts.
Merry Christmas All and God Bless!
May I ask , are you close to bowling green ? If so , can I leave some things for your daughter and granddaughter somewhere? No one needs to know anything, just you getting some things you need for them.....

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